Damnesia
by KimberlyJordan
Summary: Sequel to Old Friends and Demons. Deacon is home from the hospital. He still has a lot of recovery time left. He's stubborn and hates being dependent on Rayna. They still have marriage issues to deal with. My take on how Deacon might act given this situation.
1. Chapter 1

Rayna was beyond exhausted. She'd been on an incredible high the past few days since Deacon came out of his coma. They were home now, and 31 total days at the hospital suddenly caught up with her.

She knew Deacon wasn't fully recovered although he was doing his best to pretend he was fine. The doctor had warned them that Deacon would most likely suffer memory issues even if they weren't yet apparent.

Dr. Simms had warned them that things would be hard for Deacon as he recovered. "People don't just wake up, and walk back into their lives." He'd said

Coma patients also often suffer depression, drug and alcohol dependency, emotional issues and many other side effects that alter their lives long after initial recovery.

Deacon had no memory of the accident, or the few hours prior to it. He hadn't asked about Vince, and Rayna hadn't yet brought it up.

She was pretty sure he didn't even realize Vince had been part of the accident. She knew she had to tell him soon, but as she pulled the Escalade into the garage the day she brought Deacon home, she suddenly felt ill, and bolted inside the house to puke.

"Are you OK, baby?" Deacon asked as he clamored in with his walker, worried as he found her on the bathroom floor.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I guess I'm just exhausted. Maybe I'll go lay down for a while before the girls get out of school." She said as he tried to help her up from the bathroom floor.

"Dammit." He cursed at how weak he was

"I just wanna lift you in my arms, and carry you up to bed, but I can barely help you off the damn floor." He had tears in his eyes

He was still so weak. He needed a walker for support. She wasn't sure he'd be able to climb the stairs, let alone carry her.

"Did you get out of the car, OK?" she asked

"Yeah, little challenge, but I did it." He smiled

"Sorry I ditched you. I just suddenly felt so sick."

"Don't worry about it. Let me take care of you for a while. Go lay down. I can go get the girls from school."

"Deacon!"

"What?"

"You know the doctor said you shouldn't drive for a while!" she sternly reminded him

"I'm fine, Ray. I'm just a little weak. As soon as I can rid of this damn thing I'll be good as new." He hated the walker, but he needed support. His legs were really weak both from injury, and laying in a bed for so long.

"I feel like I'm fuckin 80 with this damn thing." He cursed

"You look pretty good for 80, baby." She kissed him as she walked by to head upstairs for a nap

"You gonna be OK down there alone?" she asked from the top step

"RAYNA! I'm not an invalid. Please don't treat me like one, OK?" he sniped

"I'm worried about you. I just got you back. I'm not taking any chances." She smiled and padded down the hall before he could argue anymore.

Rayna fell into a restless sleep. She was exhausted, but couldn't get comfortable. She'd get hot, then cold. She'd get a cramp. "Maybe I'm about to start a period." She thought as she flopped back and forth, side to side with no luck getting comfortable.

Then…she suddenly sat up with a jolt.

"OMG…when was my last period?" she panicked

She thought back. Deacon had been in a coma for 29 days. Before that they'd been fighting, and separated for almost a month. They hadn't had sex with the exception of the day in his truck for over 2 months.

"That was April 13th. The police had shown up at her door early on April 14th." She recalled, but her last period was sometime in March. "Around mid-March." She thought

It was now May 15th. "I'm at least a month late." She realized, and decided to keep it herself for now.

"It can't be anyway." She thought. "I'm on the pill."

"It's just stress, and exhaustion." She tried to reason with herself.

"Deacon doesn't need that now. He needs some stress free recovery time." She pushed it out of her mind.

Downstairs Deacon was happy to be home. He was looking forward to dinner with all of his girls.

As he turned to go in the living room to relax he saw the items near the door. His Gibson in its case covered in mud. A suitcase also covered in mud. 2 car seats covered in mud.

There were a couple boxes with a note on top from one of Rayna's PA's

_Hey Rayna,_

_Went to the salvage yard and cabin as you requested._

_The small box is from the suburban. I got all paperwork and all personal items I could find out of the vehicle._

_The larger box is from the cabin. I collected all personal items left lying around on the floor and from tables and countertops._

_The cabin has been cleaned, generator shut off, and locked up._

_The car you asked about was stuck in mud on the access road inside the security gate. I found keys in the cabin, tried to get it out, but it's stuck. Keys are in the large box._

_Let me know if you need anything else, or have questions._

_Hope Deacon is doing better._

_Erica_

"Just like Rayna to handle everything." He thought as he began looking in the boxes for his wallet, phone, and keys. It felt weird to be back in his jeans without those items in his pockets.

He quickly located his phone and wallet near the top of things in the large box labeled cabin. He reached for the small box labeled suburban to search for his keys.

"Dammit." He cursed as his legs started to feel shaky

He grabbed his walker and headed towards the living room, and the recliner he'd missed so much.

His thought process was a little slow these days, something doctor Simms warned might happen.

After sitting for a few minutes and getting his legs to stop shaking, it occurred to him what he'd read in the note from Erica.

"Why the hell would Rayna have everything packed up, and the cabin closed up? Vince was living there. Where the hell is Vince?" he wondered

He pulled his phone from his shirt pocket and hit the power on button.

"Oh, good, Erica had turned it off. It still had battery life." He thought as he dialed Vince's cell number

A recording came over the line :

_I'm sorry. The number you have dialed is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please hang up and try your call again._

He thought he dialed the wrong number. After all, it had been a while, or so he was told.

All he remembered prior to the accident was making love to Rayna in his truck. Working the opry. A crappy ride to the cabin in pure mud. Rayna called him before he went inside that night.

The last memory he recalled was showering and he started drinking with Vince.

The next thing he truly remembered was waking up a couple days ago in the hospital with Rayna's arms around him, a tube down his throat, and pure confusion about where he was, and why.

To him, he went to sleep, had what seemed like a never ending nightmare of familiar voices pleading with him to wake up, but as hard as hard as he tried he couldn't. So many times he'd wanted to yell "I'm right here."

He dialed Vince's number again.

_I'm sorry. The number you have dialed is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please hang up and try your call again._

He flipped his phone closed in confusion, struggling to recall anything from that night.

"I was at the cabin. Why did I go back out in the rain and mud?" he wondered

"How much did I drink?" he asked himself

Deep in thought, trying to remember anything about that night he hadn't noticed Rayna watching him from the bottom of the stairs.

He put his face in his hands and rubbed his temples. A dull headache was coming on.

"Another lovely side effect." He sighed

Rayna seeing the hard lines, and worry in his face came and wrapped her arms around him.

"Are you OK, babe?" She asked as she ran her fingers through his dark hair

"I keep trying to remember what happened that night." He answered with a look of confusion.

"The last thing I remember before waking up in your arms the other day was drinking with Vince." Rayna's heart skipped a beat when he mentioned Vince.

"Was I drunk?" he asked

"You did have alcohol in your system at the hospital." Rayna gently answered trying to come up with a gentle way to break the news about Vince's death.

Deacon had only been home a couple hours. She'd hoped for a couple relaxing days before she had to tell him Vince was gone. The police were unable to locate any next of kin for Vince.

She'd had him cremated and his urn was in the hall closet. She figured Deacon would want to handle his ashes and their final resting place.

Until then, she'd ordered a beautiful urn with musical notes, and a hand carved guitar on it. It also had Vince's picture. One onstage when he was in Rayna's band in the early days.

"Did I cause this?" he asked trembling, fearing his drinking finally caused a horrible accident.

"There were no other cars, right? I didn't hurt anybody, did I?" he asked with tears in his eyes

"No, baby. There were no other cars involved."

"I don't know why I went back out that night. I was at the cabin, wasn't I?"

Since the accident Rayna had been able to piece some of that night together. She knew Vince had been driving. The police had told her a Connie Myers had called in the accident.

Rayna had tracked Connie down at the little bar just a few miles from the cabin where she worked. The woman had told her she was dating Vince, or sleeping with him was more like it.

She told Rayna Vince was coming to help her. She'd gotten her car stuck on the muddy access road. Rayna wasn't sure how, or why Deacon had been in the suburban as a passenger.

The woman was very distraught over the accident and blamed herself for making the guys come out on such a horrible, rainy night.

She'd called Rayna a few times to see how Deacon was doing early on, but as the weeks had passed she quit calling. Rayna was sure she felt horribly guilty.

"Yeah, you'd been staying there." Rayna answered honestly

"…because of us, and our problems?" Deacon asked

"Yes, Deacon. We were having problems as a couple. You moved out." She was really feeling uneasy about this conversation. She wasn't sure how much Deacon remembered about Luke and the affair.

Deacon took a deep breath, and slowly exhaled.

"I love you, Ray. I know you love me. That's probably the one blessing that's come from this whole mess. You stayed by my side the whole time. I know we had problems before the accident, and I remember why. I don't wanna talk about it right now, but I had a lot of doubts about us even after we started workin on things. I don't have any doubts now, Ray. I wanna work everything out, OK?" he smiled and took her hands in his.

"I'm so happy to hear you say that, Deacon. I am truly sorry I hurt you, and I will spend the rest of my life proving that to you." She said with tears in her eyes

"You already proved it, Ray." He kissed her tear stained cheeks

"I'm just sorry I caused this accident with my drinking, and put you through a month of pure hell, missed a month of my kids lives." He said blaming himself for the wreck

"I'm so damn weak now I can't even give you a break and take care of things around here, but I want to, baby. I'll do what I can to help you around here, OK?"

"Deacon, you need to just relax. Don't worry about anything else right now. The doctor said take it slow. You can't just jump back into your life."

"I know, Ray, but you seem so tired and it's my fault. My damn drinking finally got me, and I almost paid with my life." He said starting to cry

"I can't imagine putting you and the kids through that, but I came close. I'm done drinking, Ray. I wanna go back to AA, and get a new welcome chip soon."

"I think that's a good idea, Deacon, but there's something you need to know. I hope you'll still wanna stay sober and keep fighting after I tell you. I don't even know how to begin." She was tearing up already knowing the news about Vince was gonna kill Deacon.

"The accident wasn't your fault, Deacon. You weren't even driving."

"What?" he gasped in complete confusion

"Vince was driving the suburban that night, baby." She watched him for a few seconds letting it sink in, hoping maybe he'd remember something and she wouldn't have to say it.

Deacon had lost his mom just six months ago. His sister was a complete nut case that dumped her kid on them, and seemingly disappeared. They hadn't been able to reach her in months, and now she had to tell him his best friend was gone.

Deacon rubbed his temples again as if trying to make his brain function, and remember anything from that night.

"I don't remember anything, Ray. We were drinking, and watching some western movie. He was really drunk, Rayna. That's the last thing I remember. I had a lot of beers that night too."

"So where is he? I tried to call his cell just a little bit ago. It's disconnected again. Damn Vince can't pay a bill to save his life." Deacon laughed

"Deacon…I….don't know how to even…." She was fighting back tears. She'd been so preoccupied with Deacon she really hadn't grieved herself. Vince was her friend too.

"What, baby? Is he off on some bender? I'm sure he feels horrible. Is that why he never visited me in the hospital?"

"No, Deacon. I'm sooo sorry. He didn't…" Deacon cut her off

"No, Ray. Don't say it. Please tell me he's OK, and just off drinking like he always does to deal with things. He can't be…." Deacon broke down in her arms for several minutes

"Vince and his mama were all I had growing up. I never would have survived without them. He followed me to Nashville to make sure I was OK. He was only 30. He can't really be gone, Ray." Deacon sobbed on her lap as she held him the rest of the afternoon.

He was taking things harder than she'd ever imagined he would. She'd never seen Deacon so completely overcome with grief.

"He didn't have anyone, Ray. His uncle is in Natchez, but he didn't want anything to do with Vince after Rosa died."

"Who handled his final arrangements?" Deacon asked sniffling

"I did, Deacon. I had him cremated. I wasn't sure what else to do, and I was busy with you. It was easiest at the time."

"He deserves some kind of memorial service, Ray."

"I know. I thought you'd want to do something when you woke up." She said as she went to the hall closet to get Vince.

She gently handed Deacon the urn with Vince's picture smiling back at him, and the dates on a small silver plaque 2/18/68 – 4/14/98.

"Thanks for taking care of him, Ray." He said as he took the urn and sat it on his lap

Rayna left him alone for a while as she went to the kitchen to decide what to do about dinner. She came back 30 minutes later. He hadn't moved. He was still staring at the urn on his lap.

"Babe, why don't we put that on the mantle until you decide what to do with…." She reached for the urn, but Deacon held on to it

"No…." he said as he clutched the decorative container holding the remains of his best friend

"OK, I need to go pick up the girls from school. Why don't you come? We'll go to the park. Hopefully wear them out a little so they'll be easy on you tonight." She smiled, but he didn't look up, or respond.

"Come on, Deacon. The girls have missed you. They're so excited you're home."

"I don't wanna go, Ray. You go ahead."

"DEACON, the girls really want to see you. Come on, babe. There's nothing you can do for Vince now, but you have two little girls that have been waiting for their daddy to come home for a month." She tried to coax him, but she could tell he was in a dark place.

"JUST GO, RAY! I'D LIKE TO BE ALONE!" he snapped

"OK, are you sure you'll be OK here alone?" she asked concerned about his current emotional state.

"You don't have to baby me, Rayna. I'm not a damn invalid."

"Deacon, the doctor said you shouldn't be alone. You have a long way to go in recovery still, and it's gonna get harder before it gets easier. Please think about the kids before you….."

"BEFORE I WHAT, RAY?"

"I dunno, Deacon. You're scaring me." She said her lip trembling as she watched him struggle.

"JUST GO, RAYNA! PLEASE! I NEED SOME TIME ALONE. I'D LEAVE, BUT I'M A GODDAMN MESS! TOO DAMN WEAK TO EVEN TAKE CARE OF YOU, OR THE KIDS. I CAN'T DRIVE. I DON'T HAVE A CAR ANYWAY. I'M STUCK HERE TO BE A USELESS DAMN BURDEN ON YOU."


	2. Chapter 2

Maddie and Scarlett bounded out to the truck as Rayna pulled up in front of Little Nash Preschool. Both were immediately disappointed when they didn't find Deacon inside.

"Where's daddy?" Scarlett asked with a face that broke Rayna's heart

"You said daddy was coming home today MOM!" Maddie demanded

"I did, and he is at home."

"Why didn't he come? Aren't we going to the park?" asked Scarlett

"mama, YOU SAID WE COULD GO TO THE PARK WITH DADDY AFTER SCHOOL!" Maddie was clearly upset with the change in plans.

Rayna realized she shouldn't have told the girls they were going to the park with Deacon after school. As she got them ready this morning, and planned to pick up Deacon after dropping them off she just assumed he'd want some fresh air after a month in the hospital.

"I know, baby, but daddy still isn't feeling good. I need you both to be extra special good tonight OK?"

"Is he sick?" asked Scarlett

"Not really sick. He just isn't quite himself. We're gonna need to be patient, and just make sure he knows how much we love him, OK?" Rayna explained as she started the Escalade and headed for home.

As Rayna pulled into the garage she quickly clicked the child safety lock button so the girls couldn't get out and bound into the house. She needed to gage Deacon's mood before let them see him. He was in a dark place when she'd left 30 minutes ago.

"LET ME OUT MAMA!" Maddie demanded as she pulled at the door handle

"MADDIE, STOP, RIGHT NOW! What did I say about being extra special good tonight?"

"…but I wanna see daddy." She started to whine in the high pitched little girl voice that was like nails on a chalkboard.

"You will, soon. JUST RELAX! I need you both to stay right here for just a few more minutes, OK?"

"OK mama." Always the agreeable Scarlett said as she hugged her teddy bear in the backseat making no move for the door

"IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME ALREADY, MOM! I WANT MY DADDY!" the always ready to argue and challenge authority Maddie yelled

"MADDELYNN GRACE CLAYBOURNE! SETTLE DOWN, RIGHT NOW! ONE MORE COMPLAINT AND YOU'LL GO RIGHT TO YOUR ROOM, UNDERSTAND?" Rayna lost her temper with Maddie. She didn't mean to. This was hard on all of them, but she was exhausted, Deacon was struggling to adapt at home, and she had no idea what she was going to find inside.

Maddie slumped against the backseat with her arms folded on her chest, pouting. This clearly wasn't over.

Rayna sighed as she climbed out of the truck.

"I'll be right back to get you. Just sit here for a few minutes, PLEASE?" she asked as she turned to go into the kitchen.

The house was eerily quiet. Vince was on the coffee table. Rayna quickly picked him up and put him on the mantle away from the girls reach.

Deacon's walker was at the bottom of the stairs. She quietly crept up the steps and peered into their bedroom. He was laying on his back, eyes closed, on top of the comforter, fully dressed, boots and all.

She resisted the urge to wake him. Every time he'd closed his eyes and fallen asleep since coming out of the coma she had a sinking feeling she couldn't shake. She knew he was back and just sleeping, but this chill ran through her. An unfounded fear. "What if he didn't wake up?"

She quietly closed the door, and went back to get the girls.

"Can we see daddy NOW?" Maddie demanded

"Why don't we have a snack and you can watch cartoons?" Rayna suggested

"NO….NO NO NO NO! I WANT DADDY, NOW!" Maddie began screaming in the backseat

"ALRIGHT YOUNG LADY! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS ATTITUDE. DADDY IS SLEEPING. HE NEEDS HIS REST. IF YOU WAKE HIM UP, I'M GONNA GIVE YOU SOMETHNG TO SCREAM ABOUT." Rayna completely lost it with Maddie this time.

Maddie knew Rayna meant it. Deacon would never spank Maddie, but Maddie was well aware that Rayna would if she pushed her too far.

"I just wanna see my dadddyyyyyy. I miss himmmmmm. Pleeeaaase mama!" Maddie began sobbing

Rayna felt bad for yelling at Maddie. Maddie and Deacon were so close. The past month had been excruciating for the 5 year old. She didn't understand why Deacon had been kept from her. She just wanted her daddy.

"I'm sorry, baby. I've missed him too, but he's sleeping. We need to be patient, OK?" Rayna said as she took a sobbing Maddie in her arms and kissed her little tears away.

"Let's have some ice cream and cookies while we wait for him to wake up." Rayna suggested a snack again

"Rocky road or caramel surprise?" Rayna asked as she scooped ice cream and the girls got cookies from the pantry

"Both." Scarlett happily said

"OK a scoop of each, it is." Rayna smiled

"Why don't you guys take your ice cream and cookies into the living room and turn on cartoons."

"…but mama! We're not supposed to have food in the living room." Scarlett reminded Rayna

"shhhh don't remind her. We're not supposed to have ice cream and cookies BEFORE dinner either." Maddie whispered to Scarlett with a stern warning to shut up as Rayna laughed

"I know, but things are different now." Rayna smiled and helped them get their bowls and the package of cookies into the living room and set up on the coffee table as Maddie turned on cartoons.

Things were so much different now. Suddenly ice cream and cookies before dinner wasn't a big deal. Deacon's boots on her pretty comforter didn't matter. All the little daily things that once upset Rayna suddenly paled in comparison to possibly losing Deacon.

Rayna quietly crept back upstairs without the kids seeing which direction she'd gone. She slowly opened the bedroom door again. Deacon was awake, still on his back, staring blankly at the ceiling. He hadn't moved.

Rayna sat next to him on the bed. He had tears in his eyes.

"Sorry about the boots on your comforter. I tried to take em off, but I can't." his voice cracked as Rayna slowly slipped his boots off for him and massaged his feet. She noticed they were ice cold.

"It's OK, Deacon. I don't care about the damn comforter. I care about you, and I'm scared to death you're slipping away from me and the girls." She was trying not to cry as she concentrated on his feet.

"I feel so goddamn useless, Ray. It took everything I had to climb the stairs. Everything hurts. I don't wanna live like this. I can't even hold a damn coffee cup without shaking. My head feels so fuzzy. Like I'm in a haze. I'm so emotional I feel like I just wanna cry, or yell, or punch the hell outta something, but I couldn't anyway. I couldn't get a good punch in if my life depended on it. I HATE THIS. I'M SO FUCKIN WEAK, AND TIRED, AND…" he was sobbing

"Deacon, you've only been home a few hours. You just came out of a major coma a couple days ago. It's gonna take time. You have to be patient, and do what the doctors and therapists tell you." She tried to reason with an emotional Deacon

"I DON'T…..WANNA DO THIS TO YOU, RAY! It's too much work with me and the kids, and your album. You're exhausted already, baby. I can see it in your eyes. The doctor suggested maybe a rehab center would be best until I get stronger." He reminded Rayna of the options for his continued care as he recovered.

"YOU GET THAT OUTTA YOUR HEAD RIGHT NOW, DEACON! I AM NOT PUTTING YOU IN A NURSING HOME!" she glared at him as she said it

"Ray, before we left the hospital I didn't realize how weak I am. This last few hours has taken every ounce of strength I have."

"I don't care, Deacon. You're going to recover at home with me, and the girls. You start physical therapy tomorrow. It'll get better. Just try, and don't push us away. We want to help you. The girls will be great little nurses. They'll get you whatever you want. It'll be fun for them to feel like they're helping you. Let them, Deacon. They love you." He looked away as she said it

"They're downstairs. They really want to see you. Maddie had a fit when I kept them away. Can I please let them come up here?" she asked as he continued to stare blankly at the wall

"Does it make me the worst father in the world if I say no?" he asked as the tears fell

"Yes, it does! They need you, Deacon. They've seen you once in a month. Please don't do this to them. You can get as mean and spiteful, and bitter as you want with me. Not with them! I don't give a damn if you have to FAKE IT, but you need to be strong for them. I'm bringing them up here. GET IT TOGETHER, NOW!" She snapped at him and went to get the girls before he could fight anymore.

He layed there not sure if he wanted to cry more, or yell at Rayna. She'd never been so forceful and demanding with him. If she had he probably would have walked out, but now he couldn't. He couldn't even get his boots back on if he tried.

He layed there contemplating his next argument. Not that it really mattered. He was captive. He hated needing Rayna so much. Not the emotional part. They'd always been so emotionally connected. He loved being vulnerable with her on an emotional level. She was truly the love of his life in that respect. 8 years together hadn't changed anything.

Rayna still took his breath away. He missed seeing her concerts. His heart nearly exploded with love and pride, and pure physical attraction every time she took the stage even now. There was absolutely nothing he wouldn't do for her if she asked, but this was different.

He knew after just a few hours at home he needed 24 hour care. He didn't think it would be this bad. He hadn't considered how weak he'd be, or how much help he'd need with daily tasks. The doctor had warmed him, but he was stubborn and didn't believe it until now.

"Daddy, daddy, daddy!" both girls shrieked as they jumped into the king sized bed and attacked him with kisses and hugs

"OK, ok, ok…girls…careful! Be gentle with daddy. He's awfully tired." Rayna cautioned as she watched Deacon's eyes for reaction

"I missed you sooooo much, daddy." Maddie said as she stroked his chin scruff with her little hand

Deacon closed his eyes and took a deep breath remembering Rayna's words "FAKE IT, you need to be strong for them."

He wrapped his arms around both of them.

"I missed my babies so much." He said as he kissed them

"How was school?" he asked trying to stay positive like Rayna asked

"Good, Maddie kissed Jared Jacobs at recess!" Scarlett blurted out clearly about to explode with that tid bit of information she'd held all day

"SHUT UP!" Maddie snapped

"Well, you DID!" Scarlett snapped back

"So is this Jared your boyfriend?" Deacon asked in a concerned father voice

"No, I just wanted to kiss him." Maddie admitted matter of factly like it was nothing, as Deacon shot Rayna a "what the hell?" look.

"He didn't like it!" Scarlett continued to divulge Maddie's secrets

"UH HUH! HE DID SO!" Maddie screamed at Scarlett

"AT LEAST I HAVE BOY FRIENDS! YOU HANG OUT WITH ALL THOSE DUMB GIRLS." Maddie retorted

"I'M NOT KISSIN A BOY. THEY'RE ICKY!" Scarlett snapped back

"Am I icky?" Deacon asked as he pulled Scarlett to him and kissed her as she easily squirmed away from his weak grasp

"You're different, daddy. Not like a boy." Maddie clarified

"HE IS A BOY, STUPID!" Scarlett spat back

"I'M NOT STUPID! YOU'RE A POOP HEAD!" Maddie shot back as Deacon failed miserably at separating them. Things had turned physical and they were going after each other across Deacon's chest, one on each side of him in the bed.

"ENOUGH! DAMMIT! KNOCK IT OFF, RIGHT NOW!" Deacon yelled as things continued to escalate

"Alright, girls. That's enough. Daddy needs to rest. Go back downstairs to watch cartoons till dinner's ready." Rayna intervened pulling them apart.

"Sorry, daddy." Scarlett said as she kissed Deacon's cheek and padded back downstairs.

"SHE IS A POOP HEAD!" Maddie scowled as Rayna shuffled her out of the room.

Deacon exhaled…

"That kid's gonna give me gray hair." He commented on Maddie as soon as she was out of earshot.

"She's certainly the more challenging of the two." Rayna agreed

"I'm gonna make dinner, babe. I'll come up to get you when it's ready. Do you want the TV on?" Rayna asked handing Deacon the remote.

"No, and I'm not comin down for dinner. I'll eat up here."

"DEACON! YOU ARE COMIN DOWN FOR DINNER! WE'RE A FAMILY, AND WERE DAMN SURE GONNA ACT LIKE ONE!" she snapped back at him.

"RAYNA, I'M FUCKIN EXHAUSTED! JUST GETTING UP THE DAMN STEPS ABOUT KILLED ME. I CAN'T DO IT AGAIN TONIGHT. I CAN'T DEAL WITH THE KIDS FIGHTIN EITHER. YOU WANTED ME TO SEE THEM AND FAKE IT. I DID IT, NOW LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE." He rolled on his side turning his back to her.

"DEACON! YOU ARE NOT GONNA LAY UP HERE AND GET WEAKER. YOU ARE NOT GONNA MOPE AND AVOID EVERYONE. I SAT WITH YOU A MONTH WAITING FOR YOU TO WAKE UP. I'LL BE DAMNED IF IT WAS ALL JUST TO WATCH YOU PUSH EVERYONE AWAY."

He rolled back over to look at her, his face red with anger and frustration.

"Well, Maddie was right about one thing…I'm sure as hell not a boy. I don't much feel like a man these days. GODDAMN BALLS ARE IN MY WIFE'S PURSE!" he snapped clearly pissed at Rayna's continued forcefulness with him.

"We'll discuss your balls later, dear! Maybe I can help you feel more like a man? I'll be up to get you for dinner in a little bit!" she replied with little change in her intentions to force him into whatever she wanted him to do.

"RAYNA…." He started to yell again but, she cut him off with a quick kiss on his cheek, before she left him fuming in the bed, mad as hell, at the way she was treating him.

She barely made it to the top of the stairs when she heard the TV remote hit the bedroom door.

"At least he still has the strength to throw things. That's my Deacon." She smiled as she went to the kitchen.


	3. Chapter 3

45 minutes later Rayna returned to the bedroom to collect Deacon for dinner.

She picked up the TV remote from the floor near the door, replaced the batteries, and the back cover. They'd come out when the remote hit the door, or maybe the floor. She placed the remote on the nightstand after checking to make sure it still worked.

Deacon was still mad as hell. She could tell just by looking at him. His arms were crossed over his chest as he layed in the bed fuming.

"Ya know Maddie is the spitting image of you, Deacon!" she said as she looked at him seemingly in temper tantrum mode.

"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" he sniped

"Do I need to get a mirror?" she laughed

Realizing how he must look fuming with his arms crossed, he uncrossed them and lightened up just a little.

Rayna went to the walk in closet, returning with Deacon's slippers. She'd bought them years ago. He never wore them, preferring his boots, barefoot, or just socks.

She massaged his feet again. They were still ice cold to the touch. She pulled off his right sock. His foot was a pale bluish color. She pulled off the left sock. It was the same.

"Are your feet freezing?" she asked

*******silence**********

"Deacon….your feet are ice cold and blue. Can't you feel that?"

"No, Rayna. I can't feel my feet. Happy now?"

"Why didn't you say anything to the doctor?"

"Cause I wanted to come home, Rayna. I'm tired of being poked and prodded. I just wanted to come home. Although now that I'm here I just wanna go back. At least the nurses gave a shit about what I wanted." He sniped clearly still very pissed off

"Deacon, I do give a shit about what you want. I'm just not gonna let you go into one of your self pitty, ignore the world, sulking, temper tantrum modes."

"I love you. I want the man I fell in love with back. Is that too much to ask?" she said with tears in her eyes

He looked away without answering. She replaced his socks, and put the house slippers on his feet.

"I'm calling the doctor tomorrow about your feet."

"DAMMIT, Rayna. I'm fine."

"Sit up. DEACON! SIT UP! I'm taking you downstairs for dinner with your children."

He grudgingly sat at the edge of the bed as Rayna looped and arm around his waist.

She realized how shaky he really was as they made their way towards the stairs. Slowly, one step at a time, she managed to get him downstairs.

"Can you make it to the kitchen with the walker?" she asked as she placed the walker in front of him and let go of his waist

He clamored to the kitchen and sat down with Maddie and Scarlett as Rayna got the food ready.

"Nothing special. Just grilled cheese and bacon sandwiches with tomato soup." Rayna said as she brought everything to the table

"One of my favorites." Deacon smiled at Rayna

Rayna sat down. She cut the kids sandwiches into quarters the way they liked, and began eating. She watched Deacon as he struggled to lift his coffee cup shakily to his lips. He tried to lift a spoon with soup to his lips, but he was too shaky. He got frustrated, threw the spoon down, and pushed the bowl of soup away, concentrating more on the sandwich.

He was still struggling to swallow solids and the sandwich caught in his throat. He began choking as Rayna rushed to his side and patted his back till he managed to cough up the piece of grilled cheese.

He leaned back in the chair and managed to catch his breath.

"I told you I didn't wanna come down here for dinner." He whispered in a husky voice close to tears

"Deacon, you've gotta try to eat. You've lost 30 pounds already. Come on sweetheart. Just make sure you chew everything extra long so you can swallow. Here, have some soup?" she lifted a spoon to his lips and fed him.

He was hungry. He willingly let her feed him most of the bowl as the girls quietly watched not knowing what to think.

"Finish your dinner, baby." Deacon told Rayna when his soup was gone

"Do you wanna try a little more sandwich?" Rayna put the grilled cheese back to his lips

"Just tiny bites, Deacon. Come on, you can do this. We need to build up your strength." She pleaded with him as he took tiny bites of sandwich.

It took 45 minutes to get a cup of soup and half a sandwich down him.

The girls were extremely quiet the rest of the night. They weren't really sure how to process Deacon being so weak, and needing so much of Rayna's attention.

Rayna cleaned up the kitchen as Deacon watched TV with the girls. He was on the couch between the girls when Rayna came in with chocolate pudding cups for dessert.

Since it was thicker she left Deacon on his own with the spoon. He was shaky, but eating the pudding. Scarlett noticed how hard it was for him. She climbed into his lap, took the spoon from his hand and fed him the rest of his pudding.

Rayna was surprised he let her do it ,but he was smiling, and Scarlett seemed happy to help him.

"All gone. You did good, daddy." She smiled as Deacon kissed her little head

"Thank you, sweetie." He said as she bounded off his lap to join Maddie on the floor in a blanket fort.

"Come down here and play with us, daddy?" Maddie asked peeking out from the make shift tent

"I really wish I could, baby, but I can't get down there."

"I think it's time for 2 little girls to go to bed." Rayna said as she came back into the room

"Will you tuck us in, daddy?" Maddie asked so sweetly Deacon couldn't say no

"OK, go upstairs, get your pajamas on, and brush your teeth. It's gonna take me a little bit to get up the stairs."

After the girls left the room, Rayna gently helped Deacon up. He walked to the bottom of the stairs with his walker.

"Let me do this, Ray. I did it alone earlier. I need to learn to do everything on my own again."

One agonizing step at a time he finally made the top 6 minutes later. Rayna wasn't sure if it was harder on him, or harder on her to watch him struggle.

"I think I beat my first time. Took me 10 minutes earlier." He smiled as Rayna wrapped her arms around him at the top and led him to the chair beside the girl's bed.

"How about I read you a story while daddy catches his breath." Rayna suggested as Deacon struggled to slow his breathing after his climb

She read for 20 minutes as Deacon watched and the girls drifted in and out of sleeplessness fighting the inevitable sleep monster.

"Will you sing Kiss the girl, daddy?" a sleepy Maddie asked

A look of total confusion came over Deacon. Rayna noticed it right away.

"What's wrong, baby?" she asked

"I get the feeling I should know that song, but I can't for the life of me remember a single verse." He admitted

Rayna grabbed the old guitar he kept in Maddie's room for bedtime. She placed it on his lap. He held it up, strummed a few chords but still couldn't recall Kiss the girl, and he was far to shaky and his fine motor skills were so far gone there was no playing a guitar.

"Take this, PLEASE!" he demanded Rayna take the guitar away

"OK, you're not ready for that, yet." Rayna quickly took the guitar afraid he might smash it as she watched frustration build in his eyes.

"DAMMIT." He cursed frustrated and confused as tears stung his eyes.

"Come on, Deacon. Let me help you to our room." She sat Deacon on their bed and went back to tuck Maddie and Scarlett in tight.

The baby monitor was on. Deacon could hear everything going on in the girls room.

Scarlett was sound asleep as usual. She was always the easy one. Maddie was sleepy, but full of questions and confusion about her daddy.

"Why did daddy get mad, mama? I just wanted Kiss the Girl. He always does Kiss the Girl."

"Sweetie, things with daddy are gonna be a lot different for a while, maybe forever. He had a very bad accident, and he's not really the same person anymore."

"…but he's still my daddy?" she asked

"Of course he is, and he always will be. He loves you very much, but his memory isn't very good. There are things you will always remember about him, but he may not remember them. Like the song. He doesn't remember Kiss the Girl." Rayna tried to explain the best she could.

"He's never gonna sing to me again?" Maddie asked starting to cry

"I don't know sweetie. I hope he gets that part of himself back. Your daddy has the sweetest voice I've ever heard. It's part of why I fell in love with him." Rayna said fighting back tears herself

"Why can't he remember?" Maddie asked still confused

"It's called amnesia, baby. It happens when someone hurts their head really bad like daddy did."

"What's damnesia?" she curiously asked as Rayna had to laugh at her pronunciation

"It's when you don't remember something,"

"…and I think that's a better name for it than amnesia. Daddy's favorite word too." She laughed again at the irony of it all.

"Go to sleep, sweetie. There's tomorrow night for more questions."

Deacon was still sitting on the bed, but he had the baby monitor in his hands when Rayna came back in the bedroom.

"You still gonna love me if I can't sing?" Deacon asked

"Deacon, I'm gonna love you till the day I die no matter what. If the past couple months haven't proved we're meant to be together, I'm not sure what will." She replied with exhaustion written all over her face.

"Let's get you ready for bed." She said as she slipped off his slippers, and peeled off his socks.

"Deacon, your feet are colder and bluer than before. You still can't feel anything?" she asked rubbing his feet as he nodded no

"I'm gonna run you a hot bath. Maybe if you get your feet in front of the jets in the tub it'll help warm them up."

She had him safely in the tub as she brushed her teeth and readied herself for bed. She was staring at the dark circles under her eyes in the mirror. "God, this is only day one." She quietly thought to herself as Deacon watched her from the tub.

"You're so damn beautiful, baby." He said noticing her tired expression

"Thank you, for taking such good care of me, and the kids. I'm sorry for being so difficult earlier."

"C'mere, give me a kiss, PLEASE?" he begged as she bent to kiss him.

"You still wanna discuss my balls?" he laughed making Rayna laugh too

She lit her scented candles and turned off the bathroom lights leaving a romantic glow.

"I think I wanna do more than discuss em." She smirked as she dropped her robe on the bathroom floor and climbed in the tub with Deacon.

She carefully kissed him from head to toe taking special care in certain areas. She gently stroked him relieving all the frustration and anger from his first day home.

He relaxed against the back of the tub, all of his tension gone.

Having Rayna in his arms meant everything. He was happy to be home.

She layed in his arms with her head against his chest just relaxing in the candlelight thankful he was home, and happy they'd be alone in their king sized bed tonight.

No trying to sleep on a single sized hospital bed with nurses coming in every couple hours.

Tonight Deacon was all hers.


	4. Chapter 4

Deacon was not at all happy to be sitting in Dr. Simms waiting room. He was moody and figeting as he impatiently waited with Rayna.

"Honestly, Deacon…can you just sit still?" Rayna asked annoyed

He'd only been out of the hospital a couple days. It was basically like having another much larger child to deal with for Rayna.

"I'm just so damn restless. I don't wanna be here, Rayna. I already have physical therapy today. Did you REALLY need to add another goddamn doctor's appointment?"

"Your feet are ice cold, and blue. You said you can't feel them. I think that's cause for concern, Deacon. Let's just see what the doctor says."

"I'M FINE, RAYNA!" he sniped. She'd lost track of how many times she'd heard that in the last 48 hours.

Deacon wasn't fine. He was extremely moody and emotional. He was easily irritated and snapping at the girls and Rayna over nothing. His feet were blue and cold. He was shaky, and unable to balance well when walking. He was having trouble swallowing solid food. He was having headaches. Memory loss had become apparent since his arrival home, and those were symptoms Rayna knew about.

He hadn't told her about the nightmares. He hadn't mentioned pain in his lower back. He hadn't told her about problems in the bathroom.

"Dr. Simms will see you now." A pretty blonde nurse said from an open door leading back to exam rooms.

More waiting as they sat in the exam room waiting for the doctor.

"Deacon, good to see you up and about!" Dr. Simms smiled widely as he entered the room

"What brings you back so soon?"

"…an over-reactive wife!" Deacon sniped irritated to be there

"OK, Mrs. Claybourne. Wanna tell me why you feel he needs to be here?" he asked Rayna sympathetically sensing Deacon could be difficult.

"Well, my main concern is his feet. They are blue and ice cold to the touch. He admitted he can't feel them."

"OK, can you please remove your boots, and socks for me?"

Deacon didn't move

"Deacon, I can't help you if you don't let me take a look."

"That brings us to some other issues." Rayna said as SHE pulled off Deacon's boots and socks.

"He is still very weak. He's shaky when trying to eat or hold a cup. He's a professional musician, but can't remember any songs he used to sing, or how to play guitar. He says he aches and hurts all over. He's very tired."

Deacon was glaring at her the entire time.

"I see. Well, we talked about some of this before you left the hospital. He's going to need therapy to rebuild his strength. His memory should slowly return. Engage in activities that he always liked and did even if he can't do it now. It will help stimulate his memory. Can you please swing your feet up to the table for me, Deacon?"

Rayna reached for his legs, but the doctor stopped her.

"Rayna, I know you want to help him. You need to let him, or make him do things on his own." The doctor smiled trying to be gentle, but firm on the matter.

Deacon struggled, but he did manage to lift his legs onto the table.

"Can you feel that?" the doctor said tightly squeezing Deacon's right foot

"Yeah, when you squeeze I can."

"OK, you do have feeling, but I think there are some circulatory issues. It's not uncommon after a long period of immobility."

"So, is there something that will help?" asked Rayna

"I'm gonna prescribe some Pentoxifylline. It should help with circulation, and also cramping and that aching tiredness he feels in his limbs."

"He's probably going to suffer many ailments, symptoms as he slowly recovers. Feel free to call the office anytime. If you'd like just leave a message for me to call you back. You don't need to drag him down here every time." The doctor smiled at Deacon.

"So she did over-react?" Deacon asked

"No, blue feet isn't a good thing. You do need the prescription, but not every symptom that comes along will require an office visit." He smiled at Rayan as he turned to leave the room after handing her the prescription slip.

"Thanks for seeing us on such short notice." Rayna said as he left the room, and she began putting Deacon's socks and boots back on.

"RAYNA! He just told you, let me do stuff for myself. I can put my own damn socks and shoes on."

She stopped. It was hard watching him struggle and not jump in to help, but he did it. Socks and boots successfully back on.

Another waiting room as they sat at the physical therapists office.

"We're ready for you Mr. Claybourne."

Rayna got up to go along.

"Ray, please…I can do this alone." Deacon said firmly as Rayna slumped back into the chair.

An hour passed as Rayna impatiently waited.

Deacon finally emerged, clearly upset. He clamored past Rayna with his walker and out to the truck without a word.

"What in the world?" Rayna asked the woman in white not far behind him

"Mrs. Claybourne?" she asked

"Yes, why is he so upset?" Rayna asked confused

"We told him we think he needs some pretty intensive physical therapy. 5 days a week. We don't think he should drive for at least another 3 to 4 weeks. The part that seemed to upset him the most was the fine motor skills testing. He's lost basically all of that. He may never play guitar again, but we're certainly going to try to help him."

"OK, thanks. I'm sorry if he was difficult. He's always had a temper." She tried to smile, sure Deacon was devastated by the news he may never play guitar again.

Deacon was in the driver's seat, engine running, as Rayna neared the Escalade. She opened the driver's side door.

"C'mon Deacon. Let's get you in the passenger seat."

"I'm driving home, Ray. I can do this." He was insistent

"Deacon, please. They just told me you can't for another 3-4 weeks."

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT THEY SAID. GET IN!" he snapped

"Deacon, I'm sure you can drive. It's not you that's the problem. What if someone pulls out in front of you, or a light changes too quick. Are you gonna be able to move your feet fast enough to hit the brake?"

"…FINE!" he said as he climbed out, and held onto the car as he made his way around to the passenger seat.

He slammed the door, and sat sulking as Rayna pulled out of the office parking lot.

She drove for 20 minutes away from town before Deacon said a word.

"Where the hell are you goin, Ray?"

Without a word she pulled over. They were out of town. Very few cars around in a wooded area.

"Drive, Deacon." She said as she got out and walked around to the passenger side.

"Come on. This is what you wanted, right? Let's see how you do?"

He quietly climbed into the driver's seat. He struggled a little with the shifter, but he finally got the Escalade into drive and slowly pulled onto the road.

He drove silently for another 30 miles or so away from Nashville. It felt good to be doing something normal again. He pulled off onto an old saw mill road. The place had been closed for years.

"Look familiar?" he asked as he put the truck in park and shut off the engine.

Rayna smiled. Right after his 2nd trip to rehab they'd taken a country drive in his old Chevy. It had run out of gas in the same spot they were now sitting.

"Remember how we passed the time waiting for triple A?" he smirked as he leaned in for a lingering kiss which turned into a hot and heavy make out session.

"Guess it's not quite as romantic with 2 car seats, and your husband's walker in the back seat, huh?" he laughed as he pulled away slowly, leaving Rayna wanting more.

"It's sweet that you remember 7 years later, Deacon."

"Why don't you come over here, and sit on my lap?" he asked as he brushed her cheek

"I'm not sure I can do this, but I wanna try." He said breathily as Rayna straddled him in the driver's seat.

He slowly unzipped his jeans, and then Rayna's as she ran her fingers through his thick dark hair. His mobility was limited, and he couldn't lift Rayna, but she made up for it with slow deliberate movements that drove him crazy as he tried to hold off finishing.

He wanted it to last as long as possible. She deserved as much pleasure as she'd given him the past couple days. He felt like he'd been depriving her. He finally couldn't hold it in any longer and exploded inside her. She slumped against him breathing heavily in his ear and kissing his neck.

He forcefully planted a deep kiss on her lips and only stopped when he couldn't go another second without air. She nibbled his ear, her teeth lightly brushing his neck drove him crazy again and he felt aroused. Rayna slipped over him again and slowly moved up and down until he couldn't take it anymore and finished again.

They sat breathless in each other's arms for several minutes. Deacon struggled to catch his breath. He was completely winded.

"Are you OK, Deacon?" she asked worried as he struggled to breathe

"I'm better than OK, baby." He managed between breaths

"We should probably go. The girls are out of school in an hour, and it's gonna take us that long to get back to Nashville." Rayna finally said as she slowly climbed back to the passenger seat.

"You better drive, Ray. I can't feel anything below the waist, but you were so worth it. Thanks for a great afternoon. I love you, baby." He said as he opened the driver's side door and waited for Rayna to help him.

Hi knees almost buckled as Rayna helped him to the ground, and slowly walked him around to the passenger side.

"You still make me weak in the knees, sweetheart." He said as he pulled her to him for another lingering kiss before she closed the door.

The girls bounded down the preschool steps and were happy to see Deacon in the car as Rayna fastened them into their car seats.

"How was school?" Deacon asked still beaming as the feeling slowly came back to his legs

"Good. We had crackers and cheese for a snack. The canned kind you can squirt." Maddie proudly said of her new found love for canned cheese.

"Can we get some squirt cheese mama?"

"I'll add it to my grocery list, baby." Rayna smiled at her in the rearview mirror.

"How about you Scarlett? Did you like the canned cheese?" Deacon asked

"No, it looks like worms."

"ahhh…anything else exciting happen?" Rayna asked

"Maddie and Jared are going together now." Scarlett blurted out

"What exactly does "going together" mean?" asked Deacon the father figure coming through

"We kiss and hold hands at recess." Maddie clarified

"I'm not sure daddy's quite ready for this at 5." Rayna said as Deacon's face twisted in an unpleasant scowl

"Just wait till she's 16, baby." Rayna laughed at his overprotective side

"I remember what I was doing with girls at 16, Ray. Let's not go there." He requested

"Probably the same thing you were doing an hour ago." She shot him a seductive grin

He smiled and squeezed Rayna's hand as she pulled into the drug store parking lot.

"Why don't you guys stay out here with daddy. I just need to get his prescription." Rayna said as she got out of the car

The drug store was busy. The pharmacist told her it'd be about 10 minutes. She walked around shopping as she waited. They had Maddie's canned cheese. She grabbed a can and some crackers. She knew Scarlett liked peanut butter on crackers so to be fair grabbed some small dipable peanut butter cups.

Deacon loved chips and chocolate so she got him his favorite dove bar, and some plain potato chips. As she turned back towards the pharmacy counter she passed the home pregnancy tests. She'd tried to push the fact that she was a month late out of her mind, but she was still feeling sick usually in the mornings.

She had thought back to the day Deacon pulled her into his truck and made love to her. The police had shown up at her door the following morning. She sat with Deacon in his coma for the next 3 days. She hadn't gone home at all. She'd missed 3 birth control pills immediately after that day in his truck.

She grabbed a test and went to the counter.

She climbed back into the Escalade with her bag of goodies for everyone.

"What the hell took so long, Ray?" Deacon asked irritated as she handed him the bag.

"They were busy. It took a while to fill the prescription so I shopped." She smirked

"You know I can't be left unattended in a store." She playfully said

"Yeah, so does my platinum card." He smiled and leaned in for a quick kiss

"What the hell did you buy anyway?" he asked as he rifled through the bag

"Oh, look Maddie worm cheese." He joked as he tasted it

"That's not half bad."

"eeewwww…" Scarlett crinkled her nose in disgust as Deacon handed the can to Maddie.

"Peanut butter. That must be for Scarlett." He said as he passed the peanut butter and the box of crackers back to the girls for their after school snack.

"What you're not gonna yell at me for letting them eat in your car?" he asked Rayna

"No…that was before. Everything is different now. The small stuff that used to bother me, doesn't. It's just a car. I don't care if they get crumbs in the back seat. I don't care if they spoil their dinner. I'm just happy we're all together as a family again, and we still have you." She squeezed Deacon's hand.

"So what did you get me?" he asked looking in the bag again like an excited child over candy

"Oh, my favorite chips and chocolate. Thank you. I haven't had junk food yet since I got home. Gotta gain back that 30 pounds."

"Didn't you get yourself anything, honey?" he asked

"Some of your hummus dip and packing peanuts?" he laughed referring to Rayan's usually healthier choices to keep her figure for the cameras.

"I'll just steel some of your chips and chocolate." She smiled

"Since when do you want salty and sweet snacks?" he asked

"Oh, I've been craving it lately, Deacon."

"What?" he looked surprised

"You haven't craved anything like that since…" his face went white and he glanced at Maddie and then back to Rayna.

"There is one more thing in the bag, Deacon." She smiled and squeezed his hand as he pulled out the pregnancy test.


	5. Chapter 5

3 months had passed since Rayna sprang the pregnancy news on Deacon. He had taken it surprisingly well. Shocked at first, but his initial reaction had been much better than when she'd told him she was pregnant with Maddie. He knew how to be a father now, and that part was at least less scary for him.

This time the fears were different. He was still recovering from his car accident, and still struggling with many things 90 days since waking up from his coma.

He no longer needed the walker. Climbing stairs wasn't a challenge anymore, and his strength was getting better every day as he continued physical therapy.

Rayan was concerned over his lack of interest in music. He hadn't touched a guitar since his first night home from the hospital. He hadn't tried to sing a note. She missed his voice coming from the shower, or as he made breakfast. She missed hearing him work on new songs and guitar riffs in the home studio, but most of all she missed hearing him sing the girls to sleep.

She hated that this new life growing inside her hadn't heard his/her daddy's voice singing the way he had to Maddie before she was born.

Deacon's excitement was there, just as it had been with Maddie once he got over the initial shock. He was so in love with a pregnant Rayna. He couldn't keep his hands off her belly. His eyes had lit up the first time they went in for an ultrasound just like when he saw Maddie for the first time on that black and white screen.

Rayna's doctor had confirmed that the day in Deacon's truck had in fact been the conception date. Not that there was any doubt. It was really the only possibility.

They both felt that this baby was meant to be. It was conceived just hours before that terrible accident, just hours before Vince's life was so abruptly taken too soon.

It was also conceived at an uncertain time in their marriage when a permanent "goodbye" was almost inevitable, and the divorce papers had been filed by Deacon in a moment of extreme anger and hurt.

…but now in their bed on an August Friday morning all of the hurt and anger had been forgotten, forgiven, and they were looking forward to being parents again.

"He's active this morning." Deacon said as Rayna woke to his hands gently caressing her belly as the baby inside kicked and seemed to be somersaulting.

Deacon was encouraging him to move with playful cooing, belly rubs, and kisses.

"HE?" she asked smiling as he leaned in for a lingering morning kiss.

"I know we don't find out for sure till later today if we're havin a boy or girl, but I just have this feeling, ya know? It's a boy. My son." Deacon beamed thinking about finally having an ally in a house full of women.

"You'll still be outnumbered, babe." Rayna laughed as Deacon pulled her closer and attacked her neck with kisses driving her crazy.

"Guess I'll just have to knock you up again after this one." He smirked as he slowly removed Rayna's panties and nightgown taking advantage of his morning arousal.

"I think this one needs to finish cookin, before you can get another in the over." She laughed as he slowly drove her crazy with gentle thrusts and nibbles on her chest.

"I'll just practice then." He whispered as he dotted kisses from her chest, around her neck, behind her ears, and slowly up to her lips for a deep, lingering kiss.

He finished and fell breathlessly beside her smiling. To Rayna's surprise their sex life since Deacon's coma had been amazingly, active even before he regained his strength. His appetite for her was insatiable, and only getting stronger as he recovered.

She sometimes felt he used sex as an outlet for all the frustration in other parts of his life. He was still short tempered with the girls, and Rayna at times. His fine motor skills had improved, but for a professional musician with Deacon's former level of hand eye coordination, he still had a long way to go, and as far as Rayna could tell was terrified to even try.

"Daddy…mama…" Maddie exclaimed as she bounded into the bed between them. Rayna struggled to get her nightgown on, and Deacon slipped his underwear back up quickly under the covers.

"Good morning, sweetie." Deacon said as he kissed her head, and tried to smooth her unruly morning hair.

"Mama let you go to sleep with wet hair, didn't she?" his annoyance was evident.

Maddie hated her hair brushed, and if left wet at night the morning brushing was a nightmare for Deacon with his limited fine movement. Lately more often than not it resulted in a fighting match between Maddie and Deacon to get her hair brushed for school.

"I don't have studio time today. I'll handle her hair, Deacon." Rayna sniped hearing the frustration in his voice.

"Today we find out, right?" she beamed at her parents

"Yes, today we find out you're getting a brother." Deacon replied

"DEACON!" Rayna snapped

"What?"

"We don't know what the baby is, but yes, today when we pick you up from school we'll be able to tell you if it's a boy or girl."

"I WANT a girl, mama!" Maddie said matter of factly like Rayna had a say and could alter the baby's sex if need be.

"I think it's a boy, kiddo." Deacon teased her

"NO…I need a little sister." Maddie whined

"I want a boy too." Scarlett gave her two cents as she bounded into the king sized bed and cuddled up nuzzling Deacon's scruff as he hugged her tightly and kissed her little blonde head.

Scarlett had always been an easier, more agreeable child than Maddie, but since the baby announcement she'd been very needy clingy with both Deacon and Rayna. She wanted to be held a lot, and Deacon appeased her when sitting or laying in bed, but he still didn't have the strength to lift either of the girls while standing.

Scarlett didn't understand. She really didn't have the fits like Maddie. She kept her emotions more inside, and would cry quietly in her room if her feelings got hurt. They had to be careful. She liked going off by herself if upset, but stress and anxiety often caused asthma attacks.

"OK, it's getting late. Let's get you dressed for school while daddy makes breakfast." Rayna said as Deacon got up to go downstairs.

2 hours later Deacon and Rayna were in an exam room waiting for Dr. Laura Finn. She'd been Rayna's OBGYN for years. She'd delivered Maddie, and was thrilled to see Rayna and Deacon adding to their family again.

"OK, today's the big reveal." She said as she entered the room, directed Rayna to lay back, and put on elastic gloves.

The monitor sprung to life with movement. This baby was extremely active. Deacon held Rayna's hand and didn't take his eyes off the monitor as the doctor glopped cold gel on Rayna's tummy and began moving the hand held wand over her growing bump.

"Everything looks good. Would you like to hear the heartbeat?" she asked as she turned on volume and filled the room with a quick whooshing tempo.

"You can see the face here, the heartbeat here, looks like all fingers and toes are present, hard to tell on these back and white images, but looks like a thick head of hair."

"Just like Maddie." Deacon beamed in amazement at the images of his unborn child as he squeezed Rayna's hand fixated on the screen.

"….and right here you can clearly see a protrusion. Congratulations, you're having a bouncing baby BOY!"

Deacon's face lit up. He was so overcome with joy. He stood up and leaned in for a long, deep kiss not caring that the doctor was right there. After pulling away he lightly brushed hair from Rayna's face still beaming with pride looking at his son on the monitor.

"A boy, Ray. I knew it. I just had this feeling." He smiled and kissed Rayna again

"Any questions?" the doctor asked

"So due date still Jan 19th?" Deacon asked

"Yep, that should be about the 40 week mark." The doctor replied

Deacon kept his arm around Rayna as they walked out to his new truck. She loved how attentive and protective he was when she was pregnant.

"How bout some lunch, baby?" he asked

"I'm really not feeling very good, Deacon. Can you just take me home and go get something to bring back for lunch." She asked looking green

"Sure, sweetheart. What sounds good?" he asked opening the passenger side door and helping her in

"Roast beef with lots of pickles. Can you also stop at the grocery store and get more of that salted caramel ice cream?" she asked batting her eyes

"Anything for you, baby." He smiled and kissed her before closing the door

Deacon settled Rayna back into bed at home, before heading to the deli for her requested roast beef with lots of extra pickles. He stopped at the grocery store for a few tubs of her salted caramel ice cream. She couldn't seem to get enough sweets this pregnancy.

Before heading back home he swung through the florist. He got Rayna a dozen baby blue roses. He also picked up a few blue roses for each of the girls along with small blue teddy bears for each of them. The bears had little T shirts that said "Big Sister" on them. He sat the bears in the backseat ready for the girls after school.

Rayna was sound asleep when he got home. He gently kissed her, careful not to wake her. She was having a pretty rough pregnancy. Extremely tired. Morning sickness and a very energetic baby that rarely let her sleep long without waking her kicking.

He left her sandwich and the roses on the night stand.

By the time she woke he had left to pick the girls up from school, and the house was quiet.

She was touched and moved to tears as she read the card attached to the roses. She'd been pretty emotional this pregnancy.

_Ray,_

_I'll never be blue as long as I have you._

_You've made everything new._

_You'll always be the only one._

_Can't wait to meet "our son"_

_Love you, baby_

_Deacon_

She finished her sandwich. She still had tears in her eyes when she heard the overhead garage door open and Deacon's truck.

A few minutes later the girls bounded into the king sized bed with her…followed by Deacon a few minutes later. He was doing much better, but keeping up with 2 five year olds was still a challenge for him.

"mama…mama…mama…" they both shrieked as she hugged them

"What do you have?" Rayna asked looking at the blue bears Deacon had given them.

"Blue bears cause it's a BOY." Scarlett excitedly said

"I WANTED A GIRL!" Maddie scowled in disappointment

"Oh, sweetie once he's here you'll forget all about wanting a sister." Rayna smiled at Deacon who only shrugged

"We're not happy." He apologetically said to Rayna after a car ride home with a sulking Maddie

"Why don't you guys go downstairs and get your after school snack." Deacon suggested so he could have a few minutes alone with Rayna.

"Thank you for the roses. They're beautiful, and the teddy bears were a nice thought for the girls. You're so sweet, Deacon. We're all so lucky to have you." Rayna said as the tears fell again

"I'm the lucky one, Ray." He said as he curled up next to her in the bed wiping away her tears

"How's my boy?" he asked caressing Rayna's growing baby bump and leaning to kiss it

"I think he's awake again. He let me sleep for a little while. He's certainly an active one." She smiled and rubbed her bump.

"I should have known he was a HE. Won't even be here for another 5 months and already giving me hell." She smiled

"He's a Claybourne, Ray. I think you're in for quite a ride with this one." Deacon laughed still caressing and kissing the bump as the baby kicked and moved crazily.

"So, Maddie's not pleased, huh?" Rayna asked sadly

"She'll come around, Ray. You know how she is when she doesn't get her way. I'm sure as soon as he gets here she'll fall completely in love with him just like I already have." He moved away from the bump long enough to kiss Rayna's lips before going back to his son.

"What did she do when she saw the blue bear?" asked Rayna

"Scowled, and pouted all the way home. She cried for a few minutes sobbing about a sister." He replied annoyed at Maddie's behavior.

"I can't take the whining, Ray. She's so damn dramatic about everything." He admitted to his frustrations with Maddie.

Rayna had become concerned about Maddie and Deacon's relationship. They'd been so close before his accident, but since things had changed. Maddie seemed to gravitate more towards Rayna now. Maddie had always been a difficult child, but Scarlett's arrival and the little girls good nature had really shown a spotlight on Maddie's usually not as sunny disposition.

Deacon struggled with emotional issues resulting from his accident. The doctor had warmed it would happen. He wasn't as patient with the kids. He was much quicker to anger if they annoyed him now. He'd rarely yelled at the kids prior to his accident, but now it seemed they rarely made it through a meal without upsetting him enough to raise his voice. He couldn't tolerate their bickering, and was quick to separate them whenever they'd fight.

"Deacon, she doesn't understand that we don't get a choice. She's had so much to deal with in the past year. Scarlett's arrival, our separation, all the fighting, your accident, and now a new baby. Please, honey..try to be patient with her." Rayna pleaded

"I try, Ray. I really do, but jesus there are times I just wanna shake her. I love her to death. She's my little girl, but that kid can push my buttons." He signed in pure frustration over Maddie.

"Oh I know, Deke. I find myself struggling with her a lot, but it's just her personality and strong will. She gets that from you, ya know?" Rayna laughed

"Are you sayin I'm difficult? ME?" he joked knowing how much hell he'd put Rayna through over the years.

"….but you can't get enough of ME!" he sarcastically said as he sucked on her neck.

"THIS YOU, no I can't get enough of. I love you more everyday, Deacon. There is the "other" you. That one I could live without." She laughed and returned the neck nuzzling just below his scruff leaving a mark.

"I'll try to be more patient with Maddie, OK?" he conceded as the baby kicked wildly again to his touch.

"Oh, honestly…this one's gonna kill me!" she signed in frustration and exhaustion

"Shhhh settle down in there little guy. Give mama a break." Deacon whispered kissing her belly and talking to him.

"Now that we know it's a boy we can start thinking about names." Rayna said

"I'd like Vince in there somewhere, Ray. Doesn't have to be the first name, but middle?" he asked tearing up a little

"I'd like that too, Deacon." She approved holding his hands on her tummy as little Vince continued to send ripples over her skin

"How about Hank, or George?" he joked

"Henry is cute, but not feeling Hank, or George." Rayna wrinkled her nose in disapproval

"There's always Deacon, Jr." he joked

"I'd love to have another, Deke in my life, but I think he needs to be an original."

"How about Cash after Johnny?" he smirked

"Cash Vincent Claybourne?" she mulled it over for a few seconds

"CVC…uuuhhhhh no, sounds like a government agency." She laughed

"Merle, Earl, Charlie, Waylon, Willie, Conway?" Deacon continued to throw musical influence names at her

"Conway Claybourne? Sounds like a trucking company." She smiled

"Merle is an M name if we keep a theme going…Maddie and Merle."

"NO, Deacon…my child will not be a Merle." She was adamant

"We could use Mason, Vince's last name?" Rayna suggested

"Mason Jaymes Claybourne." Deacon said with a smile on his face

"…or Jaymes Vincent Claybourne." Rayna suggested

"I like Mason Jaymes, Ray. That's the winner." He looked hopeful as he watched her mull it over

"I like that too, Deacon. Mason Jaymes Claybourne it is."

"What do you think Mace? Sound good to you?" Deacon asked as he gently kissed her bump.

"I can't wait to meet you Mason Jaymes. Daddy loves you so much already." Deacon said cooing to Mason as ripples moved through Rayna's skin under his hand.

"I think he approves." Deacon was beaming with joy and pride as he thought about his son.


	6. Chapter 6

The holidays had come and gone. Rayna was very pregnant at 8 months now. She had gained a lot more weight with Mason than Maddie. She felt like a beached whale, and cried constantly. Her hormones were raging, and she was extremely emotional often crying over sad TV commercials or other mundane things.

She couldn't wait to get Mason out of her, and feel some relief. He was going to be a large baby. It seemed he was always making her uncomfortable with his head stuck under her rib cage, or kicking an organ, he often got hiccups inside her making for a strange sensation. It seemed the kid always had a foot or hand somewhere uncomfortable for Rayna. He was still very active.

"Oh my god, Deacon! This boy is gonna kill me." Rayna figetted and flopped, unable to get comfortable no matter what position she tried on the couch.

"Just a few more weeks, baby." Deacon said as he tried to soothe her while watching TV on the couch one late December night.

"I can't do this anymore….." she sobbed for no apparent reason as a hormonal shift took hold and reduced her tears.

"Ray, come on sweetie. It's OK. Shhhhhh…don't cry. C'mere, baby." He directed her to lay her head on his lap as he wiped her tears and stroked her hair.

He was madly in love with a pregnant Rayna and the baby inside. He lifted her shirt and rubbed both hands over her now very large bump and leaned to kiss it.

"C'mon Mason. Be a good boy for daddy and give mama a break." He cooed to his unborn son as the baby settled down, but then suddenly the familiar rhythmic twitches began again.

"Oh for christ sake!" Rayna sobbed exasperated again as Mason began to hiccup inside her.

Deacon was loving it. He kept his hands on her belly feeling each little hiccup in amazement.

"That just blows my mind, Ray." He laughed as the twitches shook her belly every few seconds.

"It's not funny. You can get away from it. I can't. It's constant. He NEVER stops moving. I need some sleep, Deacon…" Rayna began sobbing on Deacon's lap in pure exhaustion.

"My insides ache. He kicks all the time." She was pleading for relief as Deacon watched helplessly

"I'm sorry, Ray. I wish there was something I could do. I'd take it all away if I could. You're almost there. A few more weeks. Ya got this, baby." He smiled and tried to lighten her mood

"How bout a soak in the tub while I get the heathens ready for bed." He suggested

"That sounds nice. NOT TO HOT, Deacon." She reminded him it's not safe for the baby to get too hot and the water temp needs to be cooler." As he went up the stairs to run her bath and see what Maddie and Scarlett were up to.

Deacon had sent the girls to their room shortly after dinner. They were watching TV, but wouldn't stop bickering and fighting. He'd been patient and asked them a few times to stop, but by the 3rd time and as things escalated into a physical hair pulling match between the girls he'd lost his temper.

"BOTH OF YOU, GO TO YOUR ROOM, NOW! I'M TIRED OF THIS SHIT! I'VE ASKED YOU 3 DAMN TIMES TO STOP IT! I'M DONE ASKIN! GO, NOW!" He'd yelled with a rough tone forceful enough to make both cry instantly as they slowly climbed the stairs looking forlornly back at Rayna for assistance.

Deacon's temper scared Rayna at times. He'd always been so patient with the kids, but something changed after the accident. Normally when the kids upset him and she sensed he was about to blow she'd step in, but this time she let him handle them. She was tired and uncomfortable and herself sick of listening to them bicker.

The girls were on holiday break from school. They now attended a private kindergarten full time 5 days a week. Scarlett had turned 6 in September. Maddie would be 6 in March. The private school shut down every year between Thanksgiving and New Year's. Often the wealthier families traveled at this time of the year. Summer break was shorter as a result of this long holiday break.

The girls had been home all day, every day for more than a month. They fought constantly about everything from who got a bigger cookie, what to watch on TV, who would wear what clothes and shoes, who would get to hold Mason first when he arrived, and just in general anything little girls might argue about. The fights often became physical and required separation.

Rayna was more emotional and temperamental as the pregnancy came towards the end. Deacon still struggled with emotions, temper, headaches and a much shorter fuse when it came to the girls fighting. The combination of tempers flaring, and emotions running high with the girls being there 24/7 had taken its toll on both Deacon and Rayna over the past month.

Deacon quietly opened the girls bedroom door. They were both awake laying on their new beds sulking. Both had got to pick out new bedroom sets for Christmas. Rayna wanted them in separate single beds rather than together in the queen sized bed Maddie had before Scarlett arrived. The plan was to eventually have them in their own rooms. Deacon and Rayna both thought they needed space from one another as the fights seemed to be increasing in frequency.

The spare bedroom upstairs had been converted to Mason's nursery. Deacon had just finished the paint and crib assembly the day before. The paint fumes got to him a bit. His senses seemed heightened since the accident. It had taken him a while to paint the nursery, but it was now perfect. Rayna loved it.

Pale blue walls with light oak furniture. Mason's name lovingly painted in blocks on the wall above the crib. Rayna had found a stencil and Deacon painted it to look like building blocks with the letters of his name. Deacon has painstakingly concentrated on getting the furniture together. He insisted on doing it himself even though concentration and following directions still proved difficult for him.

The long term plan was for Deacon and Rayna to create a new master suite downstairs for them in one of their offices. They really didn't need 2 office spaces in the house. They'd convert their large master suite upstairs into 2 rooms sharing the master bath for Maddie and Scarlett. The girls current room would then be a guest room.

"We done fightin now?" Deacon asked as he stood at their bedroom door

"Yes, daddy." Scarlett politely replied

"Maddie?" Deacon asked as she lay on her bed, arms crossed, not speaking.

"OK, silent treatment is better than fightin. You both need to get your pajamas on and brush your teeth for bed" Deacon said as Scarlett got up to follow his instructions.

"Maddie. Daddy asked you to do something. PLEASE, get up, get your PJ's on and brush your teeth, sweetheart." He said a little firmer this time as he reached for her and tried to sit her up.

"NO! I WANNA WATCH MY SHOWS. I DIDN'T GET TO WATCH ANY TV TONIGHT!" she replied hotly to Deacon as she squirmed away from his grasp.

"Maddie, I asked you and Scarlett to quit fighting more than once earlier. You didn't listen. You're not listening now. I don't think you deserve to watch TV if you can't listen to mommy and daddy when we tell you something. This is the last time I'm gonna ask. Get your pajamas on and brush your teeth." He was doing his best maintain control with Maddie. He'd told Rayna he'd work on being more patient with her.

"NO, ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS THE BABY, AND SCARLETT! YOU HATE ME! I DON'T WANNA LIVE HERE ANYMORE. I WANNA GO STAY WITH AUNT TANDY." She screamed at Deacon, and also grabbed her bedroom TV remote turning on cartoons.

Deacon was quickly losing his temper. He was praying Rayna would come upstairs and intervene, but she didn't and he didn't want to make her deal with this. She was so tired, and uncomfortable.

He took a deep breath and rubbed his temples, trying to decide a course of action, and not completely lose it with Maddie.

He reached for the remote, but Maddie pulled it away from him. "Alright, FINE!" He pulled the plug from the wall, grabbed the TV, and took it to the nursery away from Maddie.

Maddie followed him into the nursery screaming her head off over the TV.

"MADDIE, THAT IS ENOUGH!" He yelled as he turned around to face her after carefully setting the TV on Mason's dresser.

He reached for the remote she still clutched. She hit his hand away with hit.

"I HATE YOU. YOU CAN'T TAKE MY TV. IT'S MINE!" she continued to scream at him. He grabbed the remote and threw it against the wall, losing control of his temper more and more as her screaming became louder.

He took another deep breath trying to regain some control as Maddie continued to scream how her life sucked, no one loved her, she hated Deacon and wanted him to go back to the hospital. He'd been mean since he came home. She hates the baby and hopes he's never born. She hates Scarlett and thinks she needs to leave now. She's been here too long….it went on and on. Maddie was unloading months of hatred and frustration on poor Deacon as he stood helplessly watching her melt down in a fit of rage and tears as she screamed at him.

It was then he noticed the pink permanent marker on almost everything in the baby's room. Someone, and he was pretty sure that someone was now flopping on the floor in full temper tantrum mode in front of him, had marked the walls, crib, changing table, and rocking chair with bright pink permanent marker.

He'd worked so hard on the nursery for 3 days. It had been perfect. Rayna loved it. Now it was all ruined.

He grabbed Maddie off the floor, out of her fit, and stood her up more forcefully than he intended. He hadn't been able to lift the girls, but now adrenalin took over. He easily lifted her to her feet to stand in front of him.

"DID YOU DO THIS?" he barked with the full force of his voice and temper as he pointed to the pink markings.

Maddie didn't say a word. His face was bright red. He'd NEVER been so furious with Maddie. Usually when he talked to her he came down to her level, or sat in a chair. He was standing up, his full 6'1" height towering over her as he yelled.

"ANSWER ME?" He barked shaking her by the shoulder

"Y….yyyy….es….." she sniffled terrified of her father

"WHY?"

"I HATE MASON! I WANTED A SISTER! IT SHOULD BE PINK IN HERE!" she barked back finding her courage to challenge Deacon, and overcome her fear as she glared up at him.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? GODDAMMIT, MADDIE! I'VE TRIED TO BE PATIENT WITH YOU, BUT YOU JUST CAN'T BE GOOD. WHAT AM I SUPPPOSED TO DO WITH YOU?" he continued to yell in frustration. Nothing worked with her. Time out, taking things away, going to her room, didn't faze her. It only seemed to piss her off more.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO! I HATE YOU! I WISH YOU'D LEAVE AGAIN, AND NEVER COME HOME THIS TIME!" she yelled at him through tears of frustration and 5 year old emotion.

She'd hit a nerve. As a little boy he'd prayed his own father would leave and never come back. JD Claybourne had been a mean drunk. Deacon hated him. Now his own little girl felt the same about him. She wished he'd leave and never come back, or at least that's how he felt in that moment as she challenged his authority.

"YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT IT SO GODDAMN BAD? MY DADDY WAS A HELL OF A LOT MEANER THAN YOU'LL EVER SEE IN YOUR LIFETIME LITTLE GIRL. GO TO YOUR ROOM, NOW!" He barked at her still seething with anger, but he needed her away from him. His temper was getting the best of him, and he couldn't control it much longer.

Maddie still being stubborn didn't move.

"GO TO YOUR GODDAMN ROOM, MADDIE!" He hissed through gritted teeth as Maddie held her stance, still glaring up at him.

He was shaking with rage, at a total loss for how to deal with this tiny challenger, who wasn't backing down no matter how loud he yelled.

He finally lost all control and grabbed her In anger, spanking her several times as he took her to her bedroom, put her on her bed, and slammed the bedroom door hard enough to knock a piece of molding from the outside of the door frame loose. He punched the door frame to get the molding back in place as it started to come off.

Rayna had just got to the top of the stairs as he slammed the door, and punched the frame. She'd heard the whole thing, but decided to let Deacon handle it. "Maybe he and Maddie needed to have it out," She thought. She'd changed her mind and decided to intervene when Deacon grabbed Maddie, and she heard Maddie scream "DON'T HIT ME, DADDY."

Scarlett stood frozen in the bathroom doorway, lip trembling about to cry. Maddie was sobbing uncontrollably on her bed. Rayna just stared at Deacon, not sure what to say as she watched him shaking with rage, fear, regret.

"Ray, I didn't mean to….." His voice trailed off as tears filled his eyes.

"I …..I need some fresh air. I'm sorry….I…. gotta get out of here." He said as he brushed past Rayna at the top of the steps.

"Deacon, where are you….." The kitchen door leading to the garage slammed before she finished.

A few seconds later she heard the overhead garage door open, Deacon's truck start, and the truck backing down the driveway.


	7. Chapter 7

A few hours had passed since Deacon and Maddie's blow up. Deacon hadn't come home. Rayna was getting worried. It was after 1am.

She'd put Scarlett to bed, and took Maddie downstairs for a long stern talk about her behavior, and some of the things she'd said to Deacon.

"I'm very disappointed in you, Maddie. You know how hard your daddy worked on that nursery for Mason. Why would you ruin it with pink marker like that?" she'd asked

"…I'm sorry, mama. Everything is for the baby. Daddy likes Scarlett more than me too." She said lip trembling

"Maddelynn Grace Claybourne, you know that's not true! Daddy loves all 3 of you the same."

"No he doesn't. He never plays guitar for me anymore. He yells a lot. He makes us go to bed without stories, songs, or snacks. He took my TV away."

"…..and he spanked me. He said he'd never spank me. He gets mad when you do. Why did he hit me, mama?" she asked crying completely shocked Deacon had spanked her for the first time ever.

Rayna was more shocked. She never thought she'd see Deacon lay a hand on one of the kids. He'd suffered so much abuse as a child. He swore he'd never do it. Rayna knew that was why he was so upset when he left. His face was so full of regret.

Maddie was right. Deacon had scolded Rayna more than once when she herself lost her temper enough to spank Maddie. He didn't like it, and didn't want her raised that way. Unfortunately, with Maddie's difficult and strong personality physical punishment was all that really seemed to work.

"He hates me!" Maddie sobbed into Rayna's side.

"Sweetie, he doesn't hate you. He loves you so much, and you really hurt him tonight. You said some pretty mean things to him. You need to tell him you're sorry."

"…but mama, he took my TV away!" she started to argue

"Young lady, you know you made him mad way before he took your TV away. You and Scarlett didn't listen when he asked you to stop fighting. He asked you nicely several times before he got mad."

"…but I wanted to watch my shows, mama!"

"...and if you'd listened to him when he asked you to not argue with Scarlett anymore he would have let you watch your shows. He probably would have read you a story too before bed."

"Honey, I know you and daddy used to be so close, and you were used to having him all to yourself, but things have changed. That's part of life. Scarlett is part of this family now. Mason will be in a few weeks. You need to learn to share daddy."

"Don't you love having Scarlett here. You always have a friend to play with."

"Why doesn't he pay any attention to me?" she asked tears falling as she reached for Rayna and wanted to be held.

"Honey, can you just sit beside me? I'm really uncomfortable with you on my tummy. You're squishing Mason"

"Can he hear us, mama?" she asked putting her little hands on Rayna's bump for the first time ever. She hadn't been the least bit interested till now.

"Yes, sweetie, he can. Would you like to talk to him?"

"Yeah…Hi Mason. I'm your big sister Maddie. I'm sorry I markered your room. Daddy's really mad about it." She said her lips practically on Rayna's belly as if she had to be right there for Mason to hear her.

Mason suddenly went crazy kicking. Maddie's face lit up as Rayna's tummy rippled under her little hands, and Rayna lifted her shirt so Maddie could see it better.

"What's he doin in there, mama?"

"It feels like summersaults." Rayna laughed as she moved to try to adjust Mason to a more comfortable position.

"Does it hurt?" she asked quizzically

"Sometimes, yes. Your brother can kick really hard."

"Mason, stop hurting mama" she got close to scold her little brother

"He doesn't mean to, sweetie. He's just a baby."

"I'm sorry I said I hate you, Mason. I love you." She got close again and hugged Rayna's belly as Mason kicked again

"He hears you." Rayna said as Maddie's face lit up again marveling at the moving bump. Maddie looked so much like Deacon. Their faces lit up in the same expression when feeling Mason kick.

"Is daddy coming back?" Maddie asked looking sad

"Of course he's coming back, baby."

"Is he still gonna be mad at me?" she asked looking like she might cry

"He may be, sweetie. I'm sure he'll get over it though." Rayna pulled Maddie close to her side on the couch.

"I told him I didn't want him to come home." She looked so sorry Rayna's heart broke

"He knows you didn't mean it. I promise he'll be here when you wake up tomorrow."

"If I tell him I'm sorry, will he love me again?" she asked breaking Rayna's heart as the pregnancy hormones raged.

"He's never stopped loving you, Maddie. No matter how mad you make him, or how much you hurt him I promise you, your daddy will NEVER stop loving you."

Maddie drifted off to sleep at Rayna's side with her little hand on Mason. She could be so difficult, and completely unbearable, but at times like this watching her sleep she was so angelic. Rayna's heart nearly exploded with love for the little girl in these quiet moments.

Rayna couldn't move without disturbing her. She really couldn't carry her upstairs at 8 months pregnant. She sat watching her sleep and watching the clock. It was nearing 2am when she heard Deacon pull into the garage.

He quietly crept into the kitchen thinking everyone would be asleep. He was surprised to find Rayna on the couch with a sleeping Maddie next to her.

"Ray, what the hell are you doin up?"

"Maddie and I had a long chat. She fell asleep. I can't really get away." Rayna laughed as Deacon looked at Maddie wrapped around Mason.

"I'm surprised she's that close to the baby. She usually flips out at the mention of touching him." Deacon said looking sad.

"Well, we talked. I think maybe I got through to her a little. She felt him kick and it seems more real to her now, I think"

"I wouldn't hold your breath, Ray. She's awfully damn difficult!" he said sarcastically

"Deacon, I really really really need you to make an effort with her. She's only 5. She's had so much to deal with in the past year. She was so close to you, and now you barely acknowledge her. I know she's difficult, but she just wants your attention, honey. She loves you, but she feels so left out with Scarlett and now Mason."

Deacon took a deep breath, and sat next to Rayna on the couch with Maddie between them. He brushed her little cheek with his thumb.

Her face was red, and warm. He could see recent tear marks.

"She OK? I didn't mean to lose it with her, Ray. She just…." He started crying thinking about spanking her and yelling at her the way he did.

"I'm sorry. I said I'd never be like my….." he broke down again feeling like he'd really hurt Maddie.

"Deacon, you are NOTHING like your father. You love your kids, and I know you'd never really hurt them. You spanked her. So what! I've done it. I'll probably do it again, and honestly maybe you should too if she gets that out of hand again. It seemed to open her eyes a little. Lord knows nothing else does with her." Rayna sympathized completely with Deacon. She'd had knock down, drag outs with Maddie herself.

'I can't Ray. It absolutely killed me. I sat in a bar parking lot for over an hour. I wanted a drink so damn bad. I'll never touch her like that again." He said shaking with tears in his eyes

"OK, well…maybe SHE doesn't need to know you won't again. Hopefully just the memory and thought that you might spank her will keep her on her toes." Rayna laughed

"So, you went to a bar?" she asked worried

"I didn't go in. I thought about you and the kids and a new baby, and all we've been through. I couldn't do that to you, Ray. I haven't had a drink since the night of the accident, and I don't plan to." He said as Rayna squeezed his hand over their sleeping child.

"OK, Deacon. Can you take her up to bed please? I really need to get up. My back is killing me."

Deacon gently layed Maddie down on the couch as he helped Rayna up and pulled her into his arms.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you and the kids?" He asked leaning in for a kiss

"Not as much as I love YOU and the kids." She smiled and kissed him back deeply as she ran her fingers through his hair, down his neck and massaged his tight shoulders.

"I'll meet you upstairs." She smiled seductively in his arms as she wiggled away, and started turning off lights before bed.

"My side of the bed, or yours?" he smirked as he turned his attention to Maddie.

Deacon gently picked up Maddie and started upstairs. She woke half way up the staircase.

"Daddy…" she sleepily said in his arms

"What, sweetie?" he whispered kissing her ear

"I'm sorry, daddy. I love you. I don't want you to leave, and never come back."

"I'm not going anywhere, baby. I love you too." He hugged her tighter.

He was about to lay her in her bed when she asked…

"Hold me, daddy. Pleeeeaase?" as much as he wanted to get to Rayna he knew Maddie needed him more right now.

"OK, for a little while." He said as he sat in the chair next to her bed with a sleepy Maddie wrapped around his neck nuzzling his chin scruff.

"Will you sing the butterfly song, daddy?" she asked so heartbreakingly sweet he couldn't say no. He struggled for a few seconds thinking what song she meant. He hadn't sung since before the accident, and didn't remember a lot of even his own lyrics, but he just happened to have heard THAT song on the radio an hour or so ago.

"Sure, sweetie." He said kissing her little head

_**"Butterfly Kisses" Bob Carlisle**__  
><em>

_There's two things I know for sure:  
>She was sent here from heaven and she's daddy's little girl.<br>As I drop to my knees by her bed at night  
>She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes<br>and I thank god for all of the joy in my life  
>Oh, but most of all<em>

_For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;  
>sticking little white flowers all up in her hair;<br>"Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride."  
>"I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."<br>Oh, with all that I've done wrong, I must have done something right  
>To deserve a hug every morning And butterfly kisses at night.<em>

_Sweet 16 today  
>She's looking like her mama a little more everyday<br>One part woman, the other part girl.  
>To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls<br>Trying her wings out in a great big world.  
>But I remember...<em>

_Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;  
>sticking little white flowers all up in her hair.<br>"You know how much I love you, Daddy,  
>But if you don't mind I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."<br>Oh with all that I've done wrong I must have done something right  
>to deserve her love every morning and butterfly kisses at night.<em>

_All the precious time  
>Like the wind, the years go by.<br>Precious butterfly.  
>Spread your wings and fly.<em>

_She'll change her name today.  
>She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.<br>Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.  
>She asked me what I'm thinking and I said<br>"I'm not sure-I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."  
>She leaned over<em>

_Gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,  
>Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair<br>"Walk me down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time."  
>"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry"<br>Oh, with all that I've done wrong I must have done something right.  
>To deserve her love every morning and butterfly kisses<em>

_I couldn't ask God for more, man this is what love is.  
>I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember<br>Every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses..._

Maddie was sound asleep by the time he finished with tears in his eyes. He gently tucked her into her bed and kissed her cheek.

When he walked into their bedroom Rayna had tears streaming down her cheeks.

"What's wrong, baby?" he asked pulling her close as he climbed onto the bed.

"I've missed hearing you sing to the kids so much. That was beautiful, Deacon. What are you so afraid of? You can still sing. Why don't you anymore?"

"I dunno, Ray. At first I really couldn't remember a lot, and my hands just wouldn't play a guitar. I'm still not so sure I'll ever be good enough with a guitar again to perform live. It just seemed easier not to the more time passed."

"What about singing? You don't need a guitar to hide behind, Deacon. You've always been a great frontman. You just never really give it a chance."

"I did for a while, Ray. The one album."

"….and people loved it." She encouraged him

"Why don't you call Sarah tomorrow, and see if you can get your Thursday night Bluebird spot again?"

"We'll see, Ray. Let's just go to sleep, OK?"

"Think about it, please Deacon? You need a purpose again. Something to keep your mind busy. The doctor said you need to go back to doing things you loved again."

"I have you for that!" he smirked as he pulled her close for a deep kiss.

"I've been doing you daily for months." He laughed and kissed her again

"I'm serious, Deacon!" she was fighting his advances.

"So am I. C'mere…I need you. I want you. I gotta have you." He whispered as he traced her belly with his finger so lightly it drover her crazy.

He gently rolled her on her side, and slowly made careful, gentle love to her. He was so soft and light she barely felt anything, but it drove her nuts with anticipation.

He kissed her from head to toe, taking special care to kiss her baby bump and gently caress his unborn son.

"He's not moving. I think we wore him out. Get some sleep, Ray. He'll be awake again soon giving you hell." Deacon said as he kissed Rayna one last time, and then kissed Mason goodnight.


	8. Chapter 8

Deacon thought he heard one of the kids crying as he woke from a deep sleep. He sleepily rubbed his face, and listened again. The house was quiet. Rayna was sound asleep next to him. He tried to stay as still as possible. Rayna was sleeping so soundly. She was so peaceful. He didn't want anything to disrupt her. She was having such a hard time with this pregnancy.

The baby kicked and moved all the time. She had gained more weight than her small frame could handle comfortably. He knew she was absolutely miserable. She was sleeping peacefully for the first time in weeks. He had to resist the strong urge to kiss her, and reach for the baby bump. He couldn't keep his hands off Mason most of the time. He wanted to be close to his son.

He layed his head back on the pillow. It was barely 8am, and they hadn't gone to bed until after 3am. He drifted back into a light sleep, but again heard what sounded like a child crying. He listened again. The house was quiet, but he'd heard it twice. He hated to move much with Rayna sleeping so peacefully, but he needed to check on the girls.

The sound wasn't coming from the baby monitor. That's what threw him. Normally any sound the girls made was clear on the monitor, but it was silent as Deacon picked it up, making sure it was on and the volume was up. He slowly slipped from under the covers. He quietly closed the bedroom door holding the knob to keep it from clicking.

He peered into the dark room where Maddie and Scarlet were sleeping. Scarlett was sound asleep in the bed closest to the door. He had left the chair near Maddie's bed and it was blocking his view of her. He quietly entered the room. His heart sank as he realized Maddie wasn't in her bed. That panicked parent moment when your kids not where they should be came over him.

He stepped back in the hallway quietly closing the door as not to wake Scarlett. The bathroom was dark, and the door wide open. Deacon quietly went downstairs. The house was quiet. No lights on. No TV on. He looked in the living room, studio, both offices, kitchen, pantry. He checked the downstairs bathroom. He checked the garage, even looking inside both trucks.

Panic was setting in. He scanned the backyard. There was a separate door from the kitchen leading out to a fenced in area around the inground pool. Having a pool when Maddie was only one had scared the hell out of Deacon. They took every precaution available. The door and all gates accessing the pool had alarms. He glanced at the alarm keypad high on the wall. All lights were green and armed. There was no way she opened any of those doors or gates. It would have sent a shrill alarm through the house if she had.

The whole system was armed. There was no way she opened any exterior doors. The alarm would have sounded. Deacon punched in the code to disarm the system so he could search outside anyway. The pool cover was on and undisturbed. There was a light dusting of newly fallen snow on the late December morning. The whole backyard was undisturbed. She would have left footprints if she'd been out here.

The basement was just storage. The furnace and water heater were down there. Deacon quickly descended the basement steps. It was dark, but he flipped on the light and checked anyway. Nothing but old guitars, amps, and Rayna Jaymes memorabilia. As he came to the top of the steps in the foyer he decided to check the front yard. The alarm would have sounded had the front door opened, but he checked anyway. No disturbance in the fresh snow out front either.

"She's gotta be in the damn house." He thought panic stricken

He hated to wake Rayna with news that Maddie was missing especially since she HAD to be there somewhere, but he'd checked the whole damn house. As he climbed the steps deciding it was time to wake Rayna he noticed light from under the nursery room door spilling into the dark hallway. He'd missed it earlier, but coming up the steps it was at eye level.

He slowly opened the nursery room door. There was a box of Kleenex and several discarded Kleenexes strewn on the floor near the areas Maddie had used pink marker on the wall, and furniture. Maddie was asleep in Mason's crib clutching a stuffed dog Rayna had bought for him.

She woke as Deacon brushed her little tear stained face with his thumb.

"You scared daddy, baby girl. I didn't know where you were." He smiled picking her up and sitting in the rocking chair with her, holding her tight, happy she was OK as he rocked her.

"I'm sorry, daddy. I'm sorry I messed up Mason's room. I tried to fix it. It won't come off." She began sobbing into his chest still clutching some of the Kleenex she'd tried to use.

"Hey….shhhhhh, you're gonna wake up mommy, and Scarlett." He said as he sat her up on his knee to face him.

"I don't think Kleenex is gonna work to fix it, sweetie." He wiped a few more tears from her face with some of the Kleenex.

"…but I don't want Mason to see it. He won't like me if he finds out what I did." She sniffled

"Mason is gonna love you. You're his big sister." Deacon tried to reassure her

"I'll tell you what. We're gonna fix it together later, OK? You can help me."

"OK, daddy." Still sniffling

"Are you hungry, sweetie?"

"How would you like to go on a breakfast date alone with daddy?"

"Just me? Scarlett can't go?" she beamed with excitement at the thought of getting something Scarlett wasn't getting.

"Yes, just you, but you have to very quiet until we get in the truck. Don't wake Scarlett up. If you do, she'll get to go too." He warned

"Let's get you some clothes on….shhhhhhhh quiet." He led her to the girls room and quietly got her an outfit.

He closed the door and took Maddie downstairs to get her dressed. She was so excited to have Deacon to herself. He was afraid she'd wake Scarlett and Rayna accidentally. If Scarlett woke up he knew he'd have to take both girls, but he felt like Maddie needed some time alone with him. Rayna had been right, and it was bothering him.

He barely acknowledged Maddie anymore. He didn't ignore her, but she'd been so difficult lately, and Scarlett was always so easy going. He thought back a few weeks, and realized most of his exchanges with Maddie had been to yell at her, or tell her to eat her dinner, or some other order to stop whatever she was doing to irritate him.

The bedtimes he used to love with the girls had turned into a nightmare that replayed every night. Rayna was usually so exhausted and moody by then after a day of fighting with the kids. Deacon was just easily irritated since his head injury. He knew it was like that, but sometimes he just couldn't stop himself from snapping at the kids and even Rayna.

The bickering at the dinner table usually set the tone for the rest of the evening. Lately more often than not Deacon would be pissed off enough to send the girls upstairs with no TV. If they did watch TV the bickering usually continued. He'd either go to bed early, not able to take it anymore, leaving Rayna to deal with them, or send them to their room early with no story.

Maddie being Maddie fought every step of the way. Instead of bedtime kisses and story time it had become yelling, screaming, no hugs, or kisses as Deacon stormed out of the room tired of Maddie's whining and demands.

They were both counting the days till the girls holiday break ended and the house would be QUIET with no fighting and bickering during the day. They'd have just over 2 weeks before Mason arrived of peace and quiet alone together.

"OK, sweetie. I need to get dressed. Watch TV. Don't turn it up. I'll be right back." Deacon climbed the stairs to get dressed after getting Maddie settled in front of the TV.

Deacon accidentally jingled his key as he plucked them from the night stand.

"DAMMIT, I'm sorry, Ray. I didn't mean to wake you." He whispered as Rayna's eyes popped open.

"I was awake earlier. I heard doors opening all over downstairs. What in the world were you doin, babe?" she asked sleepily smiling at him as he stood fully dressed in one of his better shirts, and nice jeans.

"Nothin, don't worry about it, honey. Go back to sleep. I'm gonna run some errands. Maddie's going with me. Scarlett's still asleep. We'll be back later today. I love you." He whispered as he bent to kiss her and rub Mason.

"I'm awake now. Where you goin?" she asked finding it odd he was leaving. He hadn't done much outta the house other than therapy in months and he was done with that.

"Couple errands, and some special time alone with Maddie. Don't worry about it, OK. How's Mason this morning he asked as he felt for any movement."

"Quiet. He really hasn't moved since last night."

A look of concern came over Deacon's face. "You think he's OK?"

"Yeah, they stop moving as much just before delivery. Maybe he's gonna be early?" she smiled

"You want me to stay home, just in case?" Deacon asked worried she might go into labor.

"No, go…Maddie needs some time with you. It's very sweet of you to take her out alone. Thank you for making an effort with her, Deacon." Hormonal shift as Rayna started to cry touched by his effort with Maddie.

"Don't cry, baby. She's my little girl. She makes me so mad sometimes, but you were right. I've been pretty crappy with her lately. I need to fix that. You sure you're OK? I hate to leave if you think …."

"GO, Deacon! I'm fine. I'm not even dilated, no contractions. Even if Mason is getting into place it's gonna be a while. Keep your cell close. I'll call if I need you."

Deacon gently kissed her and Mason. He made sure his cell was fully charged as he slipped it into his shirt pocket. He peered in at Scarlett one more time. Still sound asleep.

"You ready, Maddie?" he asked as he got to the bottom of the steps

Maddie bounded into his arms so happy to be going somewhere alone with Deacon. He carried her to the garage. He hadn't tried to lift the kids much since recovering, but since last night he'd lifted her a few times. He felt strong and happy to be able to do it again. He was supposed to be their dad and strong for them. He'd felt kind of useless not even being able to hold his children or carry them if they needed him.

"Can I sit in front with you?" Maddie asked

"You know I think the new truck does have an airbag switch. Let me see if I can turn that off, sweetie." He fumbled around the dashboard and found it, shutting the air bag off.

"OK, lets move your booster up front."

Maddie was thrilled to be getting so much of Deacon's time and attention. She was jabbering as he started the truck, and all the way to town as she sat next to him.

He took her out for a breakfast date, letting her order whatever she wanted. Waffles had been her choice. She jabbered to him all through breakfast about school, boys, Scarlett, being a big sister soon, her favorite TV shows. He loved hearing how happy she was. He hadn't realized how long it had been since he really sat and listened to her.

As he buckled her back into her booster seat she wrapped her little arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you for breakfast, daddy." She politely said as he hugged and kissed her back.

"You're more than welcome, sweetie. How about we start doing this every couple weeks, huh? Just you and me. We'll go do something special, OK?" he tickled her and nuzzled her with his scruff making her squeal.

"Just me, no Scarlett?" She smiled at the prospect of more daddy dates.

"Just you, baby girl. I'm sorry I've been so crabby with you. You know I love you, right?"

"Are you still mad at me about the pink marker?" she asked sadly

Deacon sighed, and brushed her unruly hair back off her face. He really should have done more about her hair before leaving the house. He closed the door without answering her question, and walked around to the driver's side. He was contemplating what to say. He was still mad about the nursery. He needed to let her know that, but also that he'd always love her no matter what.

He got in, started the truck, and turned the heat on before answering her.

'I'm not mad, Maddie. I am very disappointed, about the pink marker, about your attitude with me and mama, about all the fighting with Scarlett, and your attitude about Mason." He said looking at her sternly, but calmly explaining things.

"I'm sorry, daddy." She started to cry realizing how disappointed Deacon was in her.

"Don't cry, baby. I'm not mad. I'm sorry too. I should have paid more attention to how you were feeling. I didn't know you were feeling so left out, and we're gonna work on that, OK?"

"OK." She sniffled a few more times trying to hold back tears

Deacon reached over to unbuckle her and pull her into his arms as he felt tears start prick his own eyes.

"You're my baby, girl. I love you VERY much, Maddie. I'm sorry I hurt you, but you really hurt me last night, kiddo. I never want you to hate me, or not want me to come home. I'm your daddy, and I'm supposed to always take care of you, and make you feel loved and wanted. You are loved and wanted very much, Maddie." He held her tight as they both fought back tears

"I thought I made you leave last night daddy. I didn't think you'd come back." She said as she clung to his neck.

"I'll always come back for you, sweetie. You didn't make me leave. I just needed to be alone and think about things for a little bit."

"I'm glad you came back, daddy. Will you sing to me again tonight?"

"Sure, sweetie. We good now? Are we all made up? Should we kiss and make up?" he asked as he planted scruff laden kisses all over her little face as she squirmed and squealed in his arms.

"Let's get you buckled back in. I have some errands to run. Do you wanna go with me, or you want me to drop you off at home?"

"I wanna stay with you, daddy."

Deacon's first stop was the Bluebird café. The last time Sarah had seen him he was in a coma. She about fainted when he walked in with Maddie looking so good and healthy.

"Deacon, How are you? You look great!"

"I feel great. Tryin to get my life back together now. Kinda hopin to get my Thur night spot back?"

"Sure, we'll make room. I'm so happy to see you up and around. How's Rayna? I hear she's due any day?"

"Yeah, yeah…we're havin a boy. Due in a few weeks. She havin a rough time with this one."

"Of course, he's a man. Difficult before they even come out." She laughed

"His name is Mason Jaymes." Maddie proudly announced her little brother's name to Sarah

"Oh, that's a cute name. Are you happy to become a big sister?"

"Yeah, I am now. I wasn't before, but I got to feel Mason kick. He likes me." She explained to Sarah as she held Deacon's hand and clung to the back of his leg.

"I'm sure that was exciting."

"She is adorable, Deacon." Sarah said looking at Maddie

"We like her. We might keep her." He joked as he picked Maddie up and blew raspberry kisses on her tummy as she laughed and tried to push his scruff away

"See you Thursday, Sarah. Thanks." He said putting Maddie down to go.

Next stop was the opry offices to see where they were with band leaders. He wasn't sure he wanted to go back, or even if he could, but he missed the opry, and the people. He felt like he'd kinda abandoned them.

"Hey, Marv…" Deacon said as he led Maddie into a backstage office

"Deacon, How the hell are you? We were wondering if we'd ever see you again." The man reached for Deacon's hand

"I'm good, real good. How are things here? I listen every chance I get on WSM."

"Fine, things have been good here at the opry. I was actually planning to call you in the next week or so. Del has been covering your post as band leader since April. He says he'll hang around till March, but then wants to get back to retirement. Has some out of state grandkids he wants to see."

"I see, and what did you want from me?" Deacon asked

"Well, we'd like you to come back if you're up for it?" Marv had a hopeful look

"March, huh? I really haven't been playing much. Actually, I have some fine motor skill issues. I'm not sure I can play guitar, but I have a few months, right? Can I have a week or so to think about it and see if I can start playing again let you know?"

"Sure, Deacon. I can wait a week, but I'm gonna need an answer early January. I gotta get somebody lined up."

"Yeah, I understand. Thanks for keeping me in mind after all this time."

"Glad you're up and doing well. Tell that pretty wife we'd like to see her on our stage soon too."

"I'll do that. Thanks Marv. I'll be in touch." He said as he turned to leave and noticed Maddie was missing.

"Did you see what direction Maddie went?" he asked Marv

"No, sorry Deke."

Deacon began checking the backstage halls. He was getting worried when he suddenly heard Maddie's little voice happily chattering about Mason and Rayna coming from a dressing room.

He rounded the corner and knocked on the door which was slightly cracked open.

"Come in." a voice that instantly made Deacon's blood pressure spike responded from behind the door.


	9. Chapter 9

"Uncle Luke's here, daddy." Maddie happily told Deacon as he entered the dressing room.

Deacon and Luke locked eyes. Luke had Maddie on his lap. Deacon had heard her jabbering about Rayna and Mason as he'd come down the hall, before he realized who she was talking to.

"I see that, sweetie." He said calmly not breaking eye contact with Luke.

"How are you, Deacon?" Luke made the first attempt at a conversation not knowing how Deacon was going to react.

Their last encounter had been the day Luke followed Rayna home to work in her home studio. She and Deacon were separated then. Rayna had no idea at the time Deacon was at the house with the girls.

It had been a year this month since Rayna and Luke's affair. Between the separation, Deacon's accident, Luke's touring, and Rayna's unexpected pregnancy they'd never finished the last 2 tracks for the dual album. The co-headlining tour had been indefinitely put on hold.

Edgehill wasn't happy, but there wasn't much they could say. Rayna's husband had been in a coma, and now she was pregnant. Both situations were considered medical or family related reasons which legally released her from contract.

Luke stood up and gently placed Maddie on the floor between them. Deacon hadn't said a word to him.

"Hey, Deacon. It's been a year. We run in the same professional circles. We're gonna run into each other. Can we just get past this?" Luke asked as he extended his hand to Deacon.

Deacon reluctantly shook Luke's hand.

"Jesus, Wheeler! It's not like you borrowed my damn guitar without asking!" Deacon finally responded.

"I didn't say we had to be friends again, just tolerate each other for professional reason?" Luke asked

"Friends again? After what happened I don't think we were ever truly friends, Luke."

"You're probably right Deacon. When there's a woman involved I guess opposing sides aren't friends."

"Yeah, you just remember that woman is MY WIFE!"

"How is Rayna? Maddie tells me her baby brother is due any day now."

"She's fine. Due in a few weeks" Deacon didn't want to discuss Rayna with Luke.

Luke had initially been worried when he learned Rayna was pregnant. He'd seen it in a tabloid, and of course early in her pregnancy when the Luke and Rayna rumors were hot, he thought it might be his. She hadn't told him herself, and he had no idea how far along she was.

Rayna had also maintained a low profile since getting pregnant. Luke really had no idea if she'd maybe already had the baby. He was actually happy Maddie clarified she is still pregnant. That makes him safe by at least a few months from baby daddy drama.

"….and How are you, Deacon? I was real sorry to hear about your accident. You look good. So, you're OK?" Luke was trying to smooth things over. He really wanted to finish the album with Rayna and go on tour if she'd still do it.

"Good as new, but we really need to get goin. Come on, sweetie." Deacon said as he put Maddie's coat back on her, eager to get away from Luke.

"Alright then. Good to see you, Deke. Give Rayna my best, and good luck with the new little one. Congratulations. Boys are a lot different. You're in for a whole new world." Deacon didn't really care for Luke's parenting advice any more than he'd cared for his marriage advice last year in the garage.

"Thanks." Deacon half heartedly said as Luke extended his hand again.

Deacon shook it, but the guy made his blood boil. He knew Luke had wanted Raya since way back in their Bluebird days, before they were famous. Deacon didn't care for Luke then. The fact that Luke had almost destroyed Rayna and Deacon's marriage just gave him a solid reason to hate the man.

"…and you…C'mere and give me some sugar. Tell your mama I said Hi, OK?" Luke had knelt down to Maddie's level to hug her. Deacon's blood began to boil when he kissed Maddie's head.

"You take good care of that baby brother too." Luke said as he finally released Maddie from his grasp.

Deacon quickly scooped Maddie up and turned to leave before Luke could get his mits on her again, or say another word to Deacon.

"Bye, Uncle Luke." Maddie waved as Deacon carried her away

Once in the truck, Deacon was struggling to calm down. He knew it was stupid. Things were better than they'd ever been with Rayna. They rarely fought anymore, and usually calmly talked things out if problems did arise. Even through his recovery their recent sex life had been amazing. She'd barely worked in the past 8 months since his accident, and he knew the few times she'd gone to the studio it was her own album and not the dual album with Luke she'd worked on.

He took a deep breath. His hands were shaking as he sat in the opry stages parking lot with Maddie next to him. He'd noticed when he was really upset his issues with fine motor skills became worse, and he was having a hard time turning the key to start the truck. He'd barely gotten the key in the ignition. He'd fumbled with his seat belt and gave up. He was happy the new truck had a key fab with unlock button or they'd still be standing in the parking lot, fumbling to unlock the damn door.

"DAMMIT." He cursed as he struggled to hold the key long enough for the engine to turn over.

"What's wrong, daddy?" Maddie looked worried as she watched him struggle

"It's OK, baby. Daddy's just having a hard time here. It's not your fault. It's just me, sweetie."

"…because of Uncle Luke?" she asked

"You're way to smart for your own good, kiddo."

"Can you do daddy a really big favor? Come over here, click my seat belt on, and start the truck for me?"

"Yes, daddy." She was happy to help, and excited to get to start Deacon's truck.

"OK, that's good. Let go of the key." Deacon said as the engine started

"Thank you, sweetie. Get back in your seat." He said as he kissed her little head

He struggled a little with the shifter, but finally got the truck into drive. He had two more stops before he'd planned to go home. Belcort about his writing contract, and the hardware store for something to take marker off of oak furniture, and trim nails to fix the door frame he'd punched the night before. Both could wait. He thought about just taking Maddie home.

He decided to stop for lunch and try to calm down. He really couldn't go home. Rayna would know instantly he was mad if she saw him. He kept telling himself it was stupid. A year had passed. Rayna loved him. She'd stayed through his coma, never leaving his side. She'd stayed through the worst of his recovery when he was difficult and mean out of pure frustration, and hurt pride.

They were having another baby together. Their marriage was strong. In some ways stronger than before the affair. She'd pushed him to the ultimate breaking point, and they'd survived still married. They were both on the same page with the kids now. They worked as a team, never undermining the other.

"How about McDonald's for lunch?"

"YAY…mama never lets us have that. Can I play in the playland, daddy?" Maddie asked excitedly

"If you eat all your food, yes you can play for a little while."

"YAY…I love daddy days. When are we doin this again?" she beamed at Deacon as he pulled into McDonald's parking lot.

"Soon, sweetie. I'll take you out again soon, OK. How about we just enjoy this date before we rush the next one."

He fumbled with the key again, but managed to shut off the truck without Maddie's help. She had to release his seat belt for him. He fumbled with his wallet at the cash register.

"How the hell am I gonna play a damn guitar for the opry?" He thought as he shakily sat the tray on the table.

His curiosity about how Maddie seemed to know Luke so well got the best of him as he finished his lunch, and watched her eat fries happily.

He was trying to push it out of his mind, but as much as he wanted to move forward in his marriage and forget Luke Wheeler, Rayna's affair still bothered him a lot.

He'd thought he'd moved further past it than this, but seeing Luke with Maddie and realizing she knew Luke irked Deacon. He couldn't let it go.

"Sweetie, How do you know Uncle Luke? Where have you been around him?"

"uuummmm…with mama at work. They were singing in the studio. She took me and Scarlett with her. We went for ice cream too one time. He has horses at his house. He showed them to me and Scarlett one time. Oh and he has a reeeeallly big pool. Lots bigger than ours."

"I bet he does." Deacon muttered sarcastically under his breath.

"You and Scarlett went to Luke's ranch?" he asked really irritated that Rayna had taken the kids around Luke and obviously not all under working conditions.

"Yeah, it was a long time ago. I think we went there 2 times."

"Can I go play now daddy?" Maddie asked as she ate her last fry.

"Sure, baby. You did a good job. Thanks for eating all your lunch."

Deacon watched Maddie play for an hour. He had grabbed a piece of foam from a foam play pit and worked his hands like they'd show him in physical therapy. He had to work with what he had. His stress balls were at home in his office. He really needed to start doing the exorcise more. He had to get his guitar playing back up to par by March if he wanted his opry band leader job back.

"Time to go, Maddie."

"OK, daddy. One more time down the slide?"

"One more, I'll catch you at the bottom." He scooped her into his arms at the bottom and put her coat and shoes back on.

His self therapy with the foam block seemed to work. He easily buckled his seat belt and got the truck started on the first try.

"You wanna go home, or run a couple more errands with daddy?"

"I wanna stay with you." She smiled still happy to have Deacon all to herself all day.

He took Maddie to the 8th floor of the high rise downtown to the Belcort offices. After a 20 minute wait one of the label heads had an opening to see him.

"Deacon Claybourne, How the hell are you?" Jerry asked thrilled to see Deacon alive and well

"Can't complain. So I won't."

"What can I do for you Deacon?"

"ahhh well…I have some new material, and I'm working on some things. I was wondering if Belcort was still interested in buying any of my stuff, or I was maybe kicking around recording a few myself for another album?"

"OK, yeah, sure. Why don't you bring me in some demos say next week? Set up something with my receptionist and we'll talk."

"Thanks, Jerry. I'll be in touch." Deacon thanked him with a hand shake as he got u to leave

After setting up a meeting for next week he let Maddie push the elevator buttons back down to the lobby.

"One more stop, kiddo."

"Where, daddy?"

"Hardware store. We're gonna get the stuff to fix Mason's room. Will you help me clean up the pink marker later?"

"Yes, daddy." Maddie looked a little sad remembering that was still waiting at home.

After a quick stop, they were headed home. They'd been out all day. It was after 5pm.

Maddie bounded into the kitchen happy to tell Rayna all about her day with Deacon. She was jabbering a mile a minute. She'd really loved being alone with him, and having him all to herself all day.

"Oh my gosh! Sounds like you and daddy had a good day." Rayna said as Maddie lovingly kissed her belly and said hi to Mason.

Deacon had focused on Scarlett who seemed a bit sulky.

"Hey Scar. How was your day?" he asked as he picked her up and snuggled with her.

"OK," she said in a sad voice

"We're a little jealous, and mopey." Rayna told Deacon

"I'm sorry we left you out today Scar. Next time is your turn for a daddy day, OK?" he asked as he nuzzled her with his chin scruff and easily snapped her out of the mood getting her to giggle and play with him

"Just me, no Maddie." She asked

"Yes, baby girl. Next time, just you."

"Why don't you both go watch TV while mama finishes dinner." Rayna asked the girls

"How was your day, baby?" Deacon asked as he wrapped his arms around Rayna from behind and kissed the back of her neck.

She turned in his arms for a deep kiss. He rubbed his hands over Mason.

"How's my boy?" Deacon whispered.

"Still quiet. Barely moved today. I got to sleep late, and got an extra nap in too." Rayna said looking happy and well rested.

"How was Maddie all day?" Rayna asked

"Perfect angel." He smiled

"We are talkin about the same kid, right?" Rayna joked

"Time will tell, but I think she needed today. We had a heart to heart and cried a little. We're all made up now."

"Good. Thank you for being an amazing father, and husband. I love you, babe."

"Love you too, Ray."

"We need to talk later, OK?"

"Is something wrong, Deacon?"

"Yes, and no. It's nothing to worry about, baby. I just wanna talk, OK?"

"Deacon, you're scaring me."

"It's OK, Ray. We're great. Better than ever. I just need to air a few things out. I'm kinda tired. I'm gonna go lay down for a little bit before dinner."

"OK, Deacon. I'll come up and wake you when dinner's ready." Rayna watched him climb the stairs. He did seem tired, but she knew something was really bothering him. The sparkle just wasn't in his eye even when he touched Mason.


	10. Chapter 10

The lasagna was bubbly in the middle and brown around the edges as Rayna peered into the oven. She pulled it out to cool, and put the garlic cheese bread in, setting the timer for 10 min.

It was almost 7pm. Kind of a late dinner in the Claybourne house these days, but it had been after 5 when Deacon and Maddie got home. Rayna and Scarlett had baked cookies to cheer up a mopey Scarlett who clearly felt left out of Maddie's day with Deacon. They'd eaten quite a few cookies too.

Rayna checked on the girls. They were unusually quiet in the living room. No bickering which was nice, but odd. Maddie was sound asleep on the couch. That explained the quiet. Maddie was normally the instigator although at times Scarlett got in her digs.

"It's almost time for dinner, Scar. Why don't you wake Maddie and you two can set the table, OK?"

"OK." The always agreeable child replied getting up to wake Maddie

"Wake her nice, OK?" Rayna warned sensing some hostility over the day inn Scarlett's face as she approached Maddie

Rayna peered into the oven. The cheese still wasn't melted on the garlic bread. She added 5 minutes to the timer. Standing waiting for the bread to toast she glanced at the wall calendar. It was a Tue night. WSM should be broadcasting the opry. She flipped on the kitchen radio just as they announced Luke Wheeler taking the opry stage.

Maddie and Scarlett bounded into the kitchen to set the table. Rayna got out the plates and handed each 2. She reached into the silverware drawer for 4 settings, again handing each child 2. Everything had to fair and even or a fight was inevitable.

"That's Uncle Luke." Maddie suddenly realized it was Luke singing on the radio

"Yes it is, baby." Rayna agreed

"Me and daddy saw him today. He said tell you hi, and gratulations on Mason." Maddie cheerfully remembered what Luke had said and relayed the message to Rayna.

"You and daddy talked to Luke today?" Rayna said with concern in her voice

"Yeah. Why doesn't daddy like Uncle Luke, mama?"

The oven timer dinged. Rayna pulled out the garlic cheese bread. "Saved by the bell." She thought as Maddie's attention went from Luke to the bubbly bread and amazing smell filling the kitchen.

"oooohhhhh I love garlic bread!" Maddie happily smiled sniffing the air

Scarlett was still mopey and quiet as Rayna left the kitchen to get Deacon up for dinner. She knew now why his mood had been sullen earlier, and he wanted to "talk" later….Luke!

Her thoughts wandered to Luke as she climbed the stairs. She hadn't seen or talked to him in at least 7 months. He'd called a couple times while Deacon was in a coma and offered Rayna whatever support she needed.

He'd also visited once, but Rayna saw him in the waiting room. Out of respect for Deacon, and knowing he might actually be hearing everything in his hospital room, she hadn't wanted Luke in there. Luke had been hurt, but said he understood. She'd ended up sobbing in Luke's arms that day. They still weren't sure Deacon would survive at that point, and she was a mess. Luke had been there for her when she needed him.

She felt a little guilty for once again ignoring Luke. They were friends. They'd agreed it was a mistake to sleep together at a time when both of their marriages were in turmoil. They'd talked and decided to stay friends, finish the album, and possibly take the dual tour. Rayna and Deacon were separated then.

Everything changed the morning of Deacon's accident. By the time Deacon came out of the coma, Luke was back out on his tour. As far as Rayna knew he hadn't been back to Nashville, until now of course. He hadn't contacted her, but she feared he might. It wasn't that she wanted to avoid him, but she didn't want to lie to Deacon ever again about anything, and she knew contact with Luke would upset him. It was easier to just avoid him.

After Deacon's accident she'd contacted Edgehill and backed out of her contract for both the album and the tour with Luke. Once Deacon started to recover she'd found out she was pregnant. She'd once again contacted Edgehill and told them things were indefinitely off with everything. She couldn't deal with Deacon's constant care, pregnancy, and work.

Rayna took a deep breath as she opened the bedroom door. Deacon was laying on the bed, awake, staring at the ceiling. The alarm clock radio had been plucked from its home on the night stand, yanked from the wall plug, and was laying on the floor across the room with a cracked display.

Rayna picked up the clock radio, and threw it into the bedside wastebasket. She sat at the foot of the bed, rubbing Deacon's socked feet. She always checked his feet. He still had circulatory, and neurological issues with his limbs.

Luckily it was just his hands and feet, effecting only his fine motor skills. To Deacon it was devastating because it had taken away his ability to play guitar. He'd become frustrated with the slow progress of recovery and barely did the exercises he'd learned in physical therapy. He tried to hide it, but Rayna knew.

She'd watched him fumble with keys, shirt buttons, tying the girls shoes, and many other daily tasks most people take for granted. She knew if he'd just try and keep doing the therapy, he'd get better. He was stubborn, and she'd quit arguing with him about it, figuring eventually he'd get frustrated enough to do it on his own.

"Guess I'll add Clock Radio to my list of things to get next time I'm out." She joked as she rubbed his feet and tried to relieve some of his tension.

"Sorry, I had a hard time with the buttons." He lied

"Really? That all?" she asked

"Yep." He replied still looking at the ceiling

"OK, well, dinner's ready. The girls are waiting. You want me to turn off the kitchen radio, or you plan to throw that one against the wall too?" she asked irritated that he'd broken the alarm clock, but also that he'd lied about why, and because he was in a sulky mood.

"I'm not hungry." He sniped clearly not amused by her kitchen radio comment.

"FINE, Deacon! You wanna sulk…WHATEVER? I've had a good day. I got some rest. Maddie is happy and behaving herself for the first night in weeks. I made a nice dinner. Your favorite, lasagna. I guess one decent family dinner together is too much to ask for. JESUS, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS FAMILY?" She yelled as pregnancy hormones took over. She burst into tears, running into the bathroom, and locking the door.

"Ray…..RAYNA!" Decacon tried to stop her, but he wasn't quick enough. She slammed the bathroom door before he got there.

She was sitting on the toilet sobbing. She really didn't even know why. She was used to Deacon's moodiness, but he'd caught her in the midst of a hormone swing. She wasn't sure what he was feeling about Luke. She only knew he was upset after seeing him and wanted to "talk". She'd thought they were past that.

She'd made Deacon's favorite dinner. Now he didn't even want to eat with his family. She sat sobbing about nothing or maybe it was everything. She wasn't sure. She just suddenly felt like bawling.

Deacon felt horrible.

"Ray….Ray….please, baby just open the door?" he was pleading as he stood helpless outside the door.

"C'mon, sweetheart. I'm a damn jerk!"

*****sobs*******more sobs***********was all Deacon cold hear from inside the bathroom

"Rayna, please….I'm sorry. Open the door!"

"Would you just go feed the kids, Deacon?" she said through sobs behind the door

"C'mon, baby. Come out. We'll go downstairs and have the family dinner you want." He tried again

"It's already ruined. Just GO, Deacon!" she continued to bawl

"DAMMIT, DEACON! WILL YOU PLEASE JUST GO FEED THE KIDS. IT'S ALMOST 8." She yelled through the door.

"OK, Ray…"

Deacon went down to the kitchen not completely sure what he'd done to upset her that much. He had been sulking, but normally she didn't react that strongly to it.

"Hey guys. Ready for some of mama's lasagna?" he asked as Maddie and Scarlett sat at the table patiently waiting for their parents.

"Where's mama?" Maddie asked

"uummm….she doesn't feel very good. She's laying down. Just you two for dinner." He tried to cover and make it seem like everything was OK.

"Aren't you gonna eat, daddy?" asked Scarlett

"I'm gonna wait for mommy, OK?" he said as he cut pieces of lasagna for the girls and gave them each small pieces of garlic bread.

"I'll sit with you while you eat though, OK?" he said taking his usual chair at the table with a cup of coffee

Being away from each other all day seemed to have done the trick with the girls. They chatted and laughed though dinner with Deacon.

"Can I please have more, daddy?" Scarlett asked

"Me too." Added Maddie

"Mama did good, huh?" he asked as he placed seconds in front of them.

"How about you guys help me clean up for mama?" Deacon asked as the girls finished

The girls brought him dishes and helped him clean up the kitchen for the next 30 minutes

"Tell you what. Why don't you guys get your jammies on, and brush your teeth. Bring your Barbie sleeping bags downstairs. I'm gonna let you stay up, and sleep downstairs watching movies, OK. Does that sound good?" Deacon asked the girls

"YAY." They both cheered and couldn't run upstairs fast enough to get ready

Deacon got a couple plates of lasagna and garlic bread ready and placed everything on a tray with a candle for Rayna. He popped a big bowl of popcorn for the kids and put in Lady and the Tramp for them to watch. He knew after a big dinner they'd be out quick anyway.

10 minutes later they bounded down the stairs with their sleeping bags, ready for bed.

"OK, spread out here." He moved the coffee table and helped them get comfy

"I made you popcorn." He said as he handed them the bowl and started the movie

"Lady and the Tramp. We haven't watched this one in a while." Scarlett reminded him

"You know the romantic scene with the dogs and spaghetti? I'm gonna try that with mommy. I need you two to stay downstairs and be good, OK?"

"OK, daddy." They both agreed

Deacon turned off most of the lights, and set the TV sleep timer for 2 hours.

"Do I get kisses?" he asked bending down to nuzzle them

"You're the best daddy ever." Maddie squeezed him around the neck happy to be staying up late watching TV

"Night guys. I love you both" he said as he went upstairs with the tray and candle to try to smooth things over with Rayna.

The bedroom lights were off. Rayna was out of the bathroom and laying on the bed with her back to the door as he entered the room. He sat the tray on her nightstand and lit the candle before sitting next to her on the bed.

She was awake with tear marks on her cheeks. He gently brushed her face with his thumb and leaned in for a gentle kiss.

"You're beautiful in the candlelight, you know that?"

"What are you doing, Deacon?"

"I'm sorry." He whispered and gently leaned in for another kiss

He hadn't had his hands on Mason much today. He couldn't resist anymore as he lifted Rayna's shirt and placed gentle kisses on him as he caressed Rayna's bump.

"How's my baby boy?" he asked as Mason began to hiccup

"Active for the last hour. I think he knows when I'm upset." She answered

"I'm really sorry, Ray. I didn't mean to be a jerk. You're 8 ½ months pregnant. The last thing you need is me being an asshole."

"C'mere, please." He pulled her into his arms for a deep kiss and a tight hug.

"I'm sorry. I love you. Can we make up?" he asked smiling

"Well…Mason is hungry. Probably why he's kicking me again. It's after 9, and he hasn't seen dinner yet." She laughed and kissed Deacon back

"We better feed him, then." Deacon fed Rayna a forkful of lasagna

"Why 2 plates? Didn't you eat with the girls?" she asked

"No, sweetheart. I wanted to have dinner with you." He smiled and took a bite himself

"You outdid yourself. Best damn lasagna I've ever had." He smiled and took a couple more bites

He moved the candle to the nightstand and the tray to the bed. They sat having a candlelight dinner and talking in their bed for the next hour, their little spat forgotten, as they kissed and Deacon got in his Mason time.

"What did you do to keep the kids so quiet?" she asked suddenly aware she hadn't heard a peep on the baby monitor

"Drugged em." He laughed

"Seriously, where are they, Deacon?" she asked a bit concerned. They weren't easy to silence at bedtime, especially Maddie.

"They're fine, Ray. I let them drag their little pink sleeping bags and pillows downstairs, put in a movie, gave em popcorn. They both had 2 helpings of lasagna. Probably out cold by now after a big dinner." He smiled and kissed Rayna again.

Rayna seemed a little worried as Deacon deepened the kisses and sucked on her neck.

"What's the matter, baby? You're tense. Let me fix that." He whispered as he moved down to her chest with the kisses and massaged her shoulders.

"Not trying to ruin the mood. I want you, Deacon. Would you mind if I check on them." She asked breathily as she kissed him back

"OK, we'll both go check if it'll make you feel better. I want you back in this bed naked, in 5 minutes before I lose interest." He smirked as he stood up

"Deacon, you wanted sex 3 hours after you came out of a coma. Do you EVER lose interest?" Rayna laughed as he thought about it.

"Oh…guess you're right. No, I guess not. Comatose, mad as hell, too weak to do it…I've always wanted you no matter what, Ray." He pulled her up and planted another deep kiss before going to check on the kids.

"See, baby. I had this tonight. They're fine." Deacon said as Rayna covered them both with throws from the couch for extra warmth.

"They're inside sleeping bags, Ray. They're gonna get too hot. Relax, baby!"

"I think my nesting has kicked in. Maybe that's why I'm so emotional tonight? I'm sorry I go so upset earlier over nothing." She smiled as Deacon scooped her into his arms, kissed her, and effortlessly carried her back to their bedroom upstairs.

"Deacon, you're gonna hurt yourself. Be careful." She said worried he might overdo it. He still had some lingering issues since the accident.

"I've wanted to do that for 8 months, Ray. I'm fine…really. Aside from these damn fine movement issues, I'm good as new." He said as he began slowly removing her clothes, massaging her from head to toe, and making sweet, gentle love to her for over 2 hours, careful not to hurt the baby inside her.

Rayna layed awake with her head on Deacon's bare chest. She thought he was asleep. He must have thought she was too. He gently kissed the top of her head and whispered "I love you. I'm gonna get over this. I promise, baby." So quietly she barely heard it.

She didn't move, wondering if she should tell him she's awake. Finally she decided they needed to talk. She knew he was upset about seeing Luke.

"Do you still wanna talk?" she asked looking up at him and seeing his eyes were misty

"It's stupid, Ray. I should be over this shit. I just can't seem to let it go."

"Luke?" she asked sadly

"Yeah." He admitted his voice cracking

"I'm soooo sorry, Deacon. It was a horrible mistake in a weak moment, and I will regret it for the rest of my life. You are the only man I want. You have nothing to worry about. It will never happen again. I'd rather die than ever hurt you like that again, Deacon." She was crying on his chest as he held her tight.

"I know that, Ray. I believe that. I do. I completely trust you again. You've more than proved your love for me in the past year. You've seen me at my absolute worst and weakest moments, and you're still here. I've treated you pretty bad a few times, and you stayed, or came back. I love you with all my heart, Ray. I'm gonna get over this." He said breaking down in Rayna's arms.

"So damn weird that the person that caused this much pain is also the ONLY person that can take it away." He said when he'd composed himself enough to speak again.

Rayna was crying so hard. He knew how sorry she was, and hated that he was struggling so much to just let it go.

"Rayna, look at me. I don't blame you 100% for what happened. I let you leave with HIM that morning thinking I didn't love you, thinking I didn't want you, and didn't want to work things out. You tried the night before to make things right between us. I was a damn jerk. You left me that letter, and that's what finally opened my eyes, but I was too late. I'd already pushed you to him. I have to live with that."

"You don't have to shoulder all the guilt, Rayna. I'm sorry too for the part I played in letting it happen."

"You know tomorrow's New Year's Eve. We have a few weeks before Mason gets here. Why don't we ask Tandy if she can take the girls for a few days starting tomorrow night. We'll go out on a real date for dinner tomorrow, and go to the cabin afterwards to be alone just the two of us to start this new year. I seem to remember I owe you a real date. It's been a really long time comin. I asked you the day Mason was conceived. Almost 9 months ago. Would you go out with me tomorrow night?"


	11. Chapter 11

Deacon fell asleep easily with Rayna in his arms. While he still struggled with Rayna and Luke's affair, he knew Rayna loved him, and he truly believed she was sorry, and it would never happen again. He was sure in time he'd get past the hurt and betrayal. He accepted that he himself was largely to blame for the trail of events leading up to Rayna's affair, and knew that if he'd handled their problems better it might not have come to that point.

Rayna was having a harder time now that she knew he still struggled with her infidelity. It had been a year. She'd said she was sorry countless times, and tried to reassure him it was a mistake. She had no romantic interest in Luke, although she was aware that Luke still hoped maybe they'd have a chance together someday. Luke had been there for her during the first days after Deacon's accident, when the doctors could offer no hope, or answers. She had completely broke down in Luke's arms in the hospital waiting room the day after Deacon's accident.

She'd felt guilty that day when she went back to Deacon's bedside. He was laying in a hospital bed, struggling for his life, his handsome face battered and bruised beyond recognition, and she'd been two rooms away in the arms of a man she knew Deacon despised. She'd tried to distance herself from Luke after that day, but as the days went on, and Deacon didn't wake up, she had hours of nothing to do but think.

She'd let herself wonder "What if Deacon doesn't wake up?" "What if he does and doesn't remember her, or the kids?" Technically they were separated and living apart at the time of his accident. She wasn't sure if he recovered where they'd really stand with each other. If he recovered and they couldn't make things work "Would she have a future with Luke?" If Deacon didn't survive the coma "Could she love Luke?" "The kids would need a father."

Luke had called her about 2 weeks after Deacon's accident. She was waiting outside the school to pick up the girls when her phone had rang. He was about to go out on tour again and wanted to see her before he left. She'd met him for ice cream with the girls, and he ended up taking them all to his ranch to show the girls his horses. They'd gone back the following day because the girls wanted to swim in his Olympic sized indoor pool. It was part of the few hours here and there Rayna spent with the kids away from the hospital, and it was more about the kids than her and Luke.

It was all innocent. The kids were there the entire time. They were never alone together. The only contact was caring embraces because her world was in pieces and she needed Luke more than she wanted to admit. She needed someone to hold her and tell her it was gonna be OK when Deacon couldn't. Luke had done that for her.

Luke had also been great with Maddie and Scarlett the few times they'd been around him. She'd had to take them to the studio a couple times after Deacon left her. She didn't hear from Deacon for an entire week after that horrible day he'd walked in on her fight with Luke and heard everything. Luke had been sweet and played with them, letting them sing in the booth.

There was nothing to admit. No wrong doing, but she felt maybe she should share with Deacon the support Luke provided her in those dark days. She wondered if maybe Deacon could see Luke truly as her friend and nothing more he might soften towards him, but she knew Deacon was extremely stubborn and could be so closed minded. His disdain for Luke went much further back than the affair.

She felt guilty where both men were concerned because the affair had actually forever altered two relationships that she valued very much. Her marriage while now strong again would always have a dark cloud. Deacon had forgiven her, but she knew he'd never forget and whenever things became challenging she knew it might come up.

Luke had become her best friend before the affair. He was there to talk when her marriage was falling apart. He was there for movies, drinks, and dinner to cheer her up. They shared a lot of the same marriage issues. His wife, and Deacon were both unhappy at home as they toured, and Luke understood the fights, the time away from kids, missing milestones, and special occasions.

Rayna missed that part of her friendship with Luke. She didn't have a lot of close friends because of her career. Most people wanted something from her, or the attention from being near her, or the power she could provide to help them achieve their own success. Luke understood that even more so than Deacon, but at the same time Luke had been there in the beginning before she was Rayna Jaymes, and cared then too.

Sleeping with Luke had forever changed the dynamics of their friendship. She couldn't run to him with problems about her marriage anymore. They could remain friends, but Deacon was a taboo subject. Knowing how Luke felt about her meant not talking about marriage issues with him anymore. If she did he'd get false hope that maybe he could have a chance with her, and she didn't want to do that to him.

She was committed to Deacon, and her marriage. She loved Deacon more than she'd ever love anyone. They had 3 kids together. They'd been to hell and back in the past year and survived. That had to mean something. She had to forget any type of relationship with Luke. Deacon wouldn't understand even an innocent friendship that Rayna so needed at times.

Her mind continued to wander throughout the night as Deacon slept peacefully beside her. He was so handsome in the moonlight. They'd been together almost 9 years now. Married 6 of that. He could still drive her crazy with a touch, a soft kiss, or even a look at times. Watching him sleep she was so thankful he'd survived the accident. He could easily have been the one driving and suffered Vince's fate. She would rather go through a bitter divorce than lose Deacon that way so permanently.

The morning the police stood on her porch and told her there had been an accident, Deacon's truck, and the driver was dead. Her world stopped spinning. She couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't speak. The thought of a world without Deacon in it was incomprehensible. He couldn't be gone. Not like that. She'd almost collapsed when the medical examiner pulled back the sheet and it wasn't Deacon. Her heart started beating again in that moment and she took what felt like the first breath in over an hour since the police had shown up.

The morning sun was streaming through the bedroom window. Rayna had layed awake all night her mind running through the past year over and over. Mason had been overly active, back to what seemed normal for this pregnancy. She'd had heartburn all night. In hindsight lasagna and garlic bread wasn't the best idea after 9pm for a woman 8 ½ months pregnant. The day was beginning and she was exhausted, but excited for the first "date night" she could remember ever having with Deacon since they had actually been dating.

Sure, they'd spent a lot of time together. They'd shared a lot of romantic times, but all seemed to be either award shows, red carpet events, concerts, family dinners out. She couldn't think of a single time in recent history or maybe never in their marriage where they'd actually had a "date night" with just the two of them.

"Good morning, baby." Deacon sleepily said as he reached for Mason and gave Rayna a quick peck on the lips before quickly moving down to kiss the baby bump.

"Oh…I see how this is gonna be. You're getting a boy and I'm not gonna exist." She joked as he slowly worked his way back up to her lips stopping to take extra care at her swollen breasts.

"That's not true. You know I need you. I just can't keep my hands off him. I'm so ready to hold my son. This last few weeks is gonna take forever but, I'm not sure it's gonna be 3 weeks, Ray! The girls are awfully swollen this morning. You feelin OK? Any contractions?" he asked as he kissed Rayna's neck moving back up to her lips.

"Nope, just a lot of movement like he's been doing. I don't think your son cared for my lasagna as much as his daddy did. I didn't sleep a wink. My mind just wouldn't shut off. Mason kicked all night, and the lasagna kicked too." She laughed

"I'm sorry sweetie. Not much longer. Maybe you should see the OBGYN about all his movement? Is that normal? Maddie never moved that much." Deacon asked a little worried.

"I asked at my last check up. She did an extra ultrasound and said everything looked fine. He's bigger than she'd like, but seems healthy."

"How big does doctor Finn think he's gonna be?"

"Well, I have an appointment Monday. If he's over 8 pounds by then she said she'd probably take him early."

"Wow…Maddie was barely 6 pounds, and Scarlett wasn't even 5 pounds when we saw her at 2 weeks old. Remember she practically fit in the palm of my hand?" Deacon recalled of the first time they met a tiny Scarlett. She had only weighed 4 pounds 9 ounces at birth. She was still tiny for her age.

"I'm goin with you Monday. I should've went to that last appointment."

"It's OK, babe. You had to stay with the girls, but they'll be back in school Monday so I'd like you there especially if she decides to induce early. We can go right to the hospital." She smiled and took Deacon's hand.

"Monday…huh? January 5th. Good Birthday? Too close to Christmas?" he mused at the thought of Mason arriving as soon as Monday

"Today would be fine with me! I can't wait to get this kid out."

"A New Years Eve baby. Tax deduction if you come out by midnight Mason." Deacon laughed as he encouraged Mason to make an early appearance

"You might wanna enjoy your last weeks of quiet, Ray. He could be worse once he's out."

"Well, yeah, but then he's daddy's little problem while mommy catches up on sleep." Rayna laughed and kissed Deacon's cheek

"I'm perfectly fine with that. You can sleep for the first few months if you want. I loved every second of Maddie's first few months."

"I remember. I barely got to hold her. You always had her in your arms. You spoiled her rotten. She screamed if we tried to put her down for the first year."

"Ohhh…that's true. She still screams if she doesn't get her way." Deacon laughed

"We really ready for this? 3 of em. We'll be outnumbered."

"I'm ready for anything with you, Ray. I'm just happy we have another chance."

"Me too, Deacon." She smiled sleepily in his arms closing her eyes as Mason settled down for the first time in hours.

"Why don't you go back to sleep, Ray. I'll take the girls out for breakfast and call Tandy about taking them for a few days. You look so tired, sweetheart. Sure you're up for tonight?" he asked

"Yes, I can't wait for tonight and a few days alone. We gotta get it in now. Once Mason gets here we won't have any quiet time for a while."

Rayna was so exhausted she drifted off to sleep while they talked. Deacon covered her, and quietly slipped into the shower. She hadn't moved 20 minutes later when he came out.

He quietly crept down to the living room. The girls were sound asleep still. It was barely 8am. He needed a private place to call Tandy to set his plan for the evening in place. He went into the sound proof home studio and dialed Tandy's number.

"Hey, Tandy. I've got a really big favor to ask you and Bucky. Do you guys have any plans for the next 2-3 days?"

"uuuhhhh…No I don't think so. Buck hasn't mentioned anything. Why?"

"Well…first I'd like to ask if you'd be willing to take your nieces for a few days starting tonight?"

"Sure, love to."

"Great, and there's more…you guys have breakfast yet?"

"No, just coffee."

"Would you and Buck join me and the girls for breakfast? I'm planning a surprise for Rayna tonight. I'm gonna need your help."

"I love surprises. Do tell?"

"Soon. I'll pick you guys up say 930 for breakfast out?"

"Well now you've got me curious. OK, we'll be ready. See you soon."

Several hours later with his surprise plans for Rayna set into motion with Tandy and Bucky on board, Deacon arrived back home with the girls to pack and get ready for the evening and a few days alone at the cabin.

He'd kept the girls in the dark about the plans fearing they'd be excited and spill the beans to Rayna. The girls simply thought they'd be spending a few days with Tandy and Bucky which was partially true.

Rayna was packing for the few days at the cabin as Deacon entered their bedroom. She'd already packed the girls suitcases for Tandy's.

Deacon wrapped his arms around her from behind rubbing her bump and kissing the back of her neck which still sent butterflies to her stomach every time he brushed the back of neck with his scruff. She turned to kiss him and hold him tight. She'd felt really needy clingy with him towards the end of her pregnancy with Maddie. She was feeling the same now like she needed to be in his arms, and couldn't get close enough.

"Somebody miss me?" he asked as she held him tight

"I always miss you when you're away from me."

"I missed you too. How you feelin? Did you get some sleep?" he asked concerned she still seemed so tired

"A little, but someone isn't much cooperating with relaxation." She sighed as she ran her hands over Mason.

"Maybe he'll settle down on the drive to the cabin and let you sleep tonight." Deacon smiled and kissed her bump feeling Mason rapidly move under his hands.

"I dunno, Ray. Maddie never moved like that." He said worried

"Maybe we should do dinner and come home? Tandy can still take the girls and give us some time alone."

"I'm fine, Deacon. You haven't been to the cabin in 8 months, and I haven't spent a night there in years. We're only an hour from town. I was in labor with Maddie for 6 hours. Even if he decides to come early we'll make it to the hospital." She tried to reassure a very worried Deacon

"You sure? You feel OK, and wanna go out tonight?" he asked giving her an option if she needed to rest

"Yeah, Maybe getting out doing something will help settle him down? I've been looking forward to dinner alone with my handsome husband all day." She wrapped her arms around Deacon tight again

"You're like a little suction cup. You just can't enough of me, huh?" he took her face in his hands for a kiss as Rayna clung to him

"I don't plan to let you go for the next 3 days." She squeezed him tighter

"I don't plan to fight you. I'm all yours." He held her tighter still feeling uneasy as Mason flipped and flopped against Deacon as they hugged tight

"Sit down, baby. Let me rub your back and shoulders. You're so tense." He sat Rayna on the bed rubbing her back and shoulders

"Jesus, Ray. I can feel him moving in your back. Why don't you call Dr. Finn? I'd really feel better if you get checked out before we go to the cabin."

"It's New Years Eve, Deacon. I hate to bother her now. I have an appointment Monday."

"DAMMIT, RAYNA! CALL HER, OR I WILL. THIS IS CRAZY. YOU'RE MISERABLE. MONDAY IS 5 DAYS AWAY. WHAT IF SOMETHING IS WRONG?" He didn't mean to lose his temper but he was worried. Rayna's pregnancy with Maddie had been a breeze compared to this.

Rayna burst into tears as a hormone shift took hold. She was sobbing incoherently rubbing her stomach.

"I'm sorry, Ray. I didn't mean to yell. I just hate seeing you so damned miserable. I'm gonna call the doctor. Gimme your phone?" he said asking for Rayna's phone with Dr. Finn's numbers stored

"Is this one the emergency number she gave you?" he asked finding 2 numbers for her

"Deacon, it's not an emergency!" She protested as he called the number anyway.

Dr. Finn herself answered on the 3rd ring. There are some perks to being Rayna Jaymes.

"Hi, Dr. Finn. This is Deacon Claybourne. My wife Rayna is really uncomfortable. We're not sure anything is wrong, but I'd feel a lot better if you could check her out today, please?"

"What seems to be the problem?"

"She's not getting any rest. The baby moves and kicks all the time. I can feel it in her back now. She's just exhausted, and emotional. She says her insides hurt."

"OK, well, doesn't sound too alarming, but I'll meet you at my office in 30 minutes. We'll do a quick ultrasound just to make sure things look OK."

"Great, thank you soo much." He hung up and rubbed Mason

"She'll meet us in 30 minutes for an ultrasound." He said as Rayna was trying to stop crying

"C'mere, sweetheart. I love you, and Mason. I'm worried. This doesn't seem OK. You shouldn't be this uncomfortable and in pain. C'mon Mason, calm down big guy. Mama needs a break." Deacon pulled Rayna into his arms as she sobbed and rubbed her back where he could still feel Mason kicking

"You already got the girls stuff ready for Tandy?" he asked Rayna

"Yeah, their suitcases are packed and on their beds."

"OK, let's get everyone in the truck. We'll just go ahead and take the girls to Tandy now."

"C'mon sweetie." He helped Rayna up and knew she was in pain

"Take it easy on the stairs, Ray." He said as he grabbed the little pink suitcases and followed her to the garage

"C'mon girls. We're goin to Aunt Tandy's a little early." He said corralling the kids to the garage."

"Would you mind if we take the Escalade, honey? The heated seats help my back." Rayna smiled at Deacon knowing he hated her SUV

"Anything for you, baby." Deacon smiled as he helped Rayna into the passenger seat of her SUV

20 minutes later Dr. Finn pulled into the parking lot of her closed office and ushered them into the dark space. She flipped on lights and power to the ultrasound machine as Deacon helped Rayna onto the table.

"OK, lets see what's going on in there?" she said as she glopped gel on Rayna's abdomen

"I'm glad we got you here today. Nothing is wrong, but he is very large. I was pretty certain I was going to have to take him after your Monday appointment, but I don't even want to wait that long. He's over 9 pounds now."

"So, what does that mean?" asked Deacon

"Well explains all the discomfort. Rayna's frame is small. Mason is pushing on her rib cage, and kicking her kidneys. That explains the back discomfort and feeling him there."

"I'm going to schedule you for a C section on Friday the 2nd. Let me check my schedule. OK, how's 1pm for you?"

"So surgery?" Deacon was concerned

"She'll be fine. We could induce for a vaginal delivery on Friday, but sometimes they don't work, and the risks are higher with added drugs. My advice is a C section."

"OK, we're havin Mason Friday." Deacon was beaming with joy

"You guys have a great holiday. Get some rest if you can. I'll see you Friday to meet your son."

"Thanks for getting us in so quick doctor." Deacon appreciatively said to Dr. Finn as he helped Rayna off the table.

As they drove home Deacon kept his hand on Mason. Rayna relaxed against the heated seat.

"Friday, huh?" Deacon couldn't stop smiling

"I'm happy this pregnancy is almost over. Not sure I want a C section, but I trust Dr. Finn." Rayna seemed worried as Deacon kissed her hand

"You're gonna do great, baby." He smiled as they pulled into the garage

He helped Rayna in and to the couch. Just in the past day she'd become so uncomfortably miserable. It was bad before, but now she was suffering. Deacon hated seeing her like that.

"C'mere, sweetie." Deacon pulled the ottoman close and put Rayna between his legs spread out in front of him so he could rub her shoulders and rub Mason from behind as she leaned against his chest

"That feel better. Warmer against me like a heated seat." He kissed the top of her head

"Yeah, that is comfortable." She drifted off to sleep leaning against him

"Feel a little better after your nap?" he asked as she woke in his arms

"I am feeling better. What do you have in mind tonight?" she asked trying to get information out of him about his plans for the evening

"Why don't we just stay in, Ray? You're so uncomfortable. There'll be other chances for "date nights." I'll make you a nice dinner. Anything you want. I'll run to the grocery store. Buy you all the pickles you can handle." He laughed as he kissed her head again

"I've been looking so forward to going out." She started to cry as the hormones attacked again

"Ray, please don't cry. You were never this emotional with Maddie either. I can't stand to see you cry, honey. We'll go out if you feel OK. I do have some very special plans for us tonight."

"I wanna go out, Deacon. I wanna go to the cabin. We have a couple days." She sobbed still leaning against his chest

"OK, baby. Whatever you want. If you feel up to it. We'll keep all the plans the same except come back to Nashville Fri by 1pm for your C section." He gently rubbed Mason who for the time being was calm

"I think he likes this position. He's been calm. You napped for an hour and I didn't feel him move at all. If I have to sit with you like this for the next 2 days to make you comfortable I will." Deacon smiled as Rayna comfortably leaned back again.

"You're almost there, baby. Just a couple more days." He held Rayna as she drifted off to sleep again

Deacon's cell phone ringing in his shirt pocket woke them both. Rayna was still leaning against his chest. They'd been sleeping for a couple hours.

"Yeah, hello." Deacon answered sleepily

"She's good. She's been sleeping. Yes, same plan."

"What was that about?" Rayna asked as Deacon slipped his phone back in his pocket

"Never mind. We should probably finish packing and get ready. We have a 10pm reservation for dinner." He smirked knowing the suspense about tonight's plan was killing Rayna. She hated not being in control.

"What? 10pm?"

"Sorry so late. That's why I let you nap all afternoon. I plan to keep you up late." He smirked kissing her on the back of the neck

"Wear something nice." He asked as she waddled toward the steps

"Like what Deacon? A tent? I'm huge."

"You're fine, baby. You're waddling. It's damn adorable. You didn't with Maddie." He was laughing at her and she started crying again

"Oh, Ray…I'm sorry, sweetie. I didn't mean anything by that. It's cute. I love you." He pulled her back into his arms to soothe those hormones

"I'm glad we're havin this kid Friday. Those hormones have really got you sensitive." He pulled her into his arms for a tight hug and then a passionate kiss

"You look great. Come on please don't cry anymore. I didn't mean anything with the waddling comment. It is adorable. You're beautiful, Ray. I love you pregnant." He held her till she stopped crying.

"We OK now?" he asked as they went upstairs to pack

"Yeah, I'm just fat, and waddling, and I feel so emotional." She sniffled

Rayna was in the shower when Deacon got dressed. He was loading everything into the Escalade when she came downstairs. He was in his best navy blue suit, crisp white shirt and black dress boots. He walked into the foyer as she came down the steps in her black evening dress.

"You look amazing, Ray." He smiled and kissed her as she hit the bottom step

"I look like a waddling penguin, Deacon." She sniffled again trying not to cry and mess up her make up

"I'm sorry about the waddling remark. I had no idea you'd get this emotional. It's cute. I love your waddle." He was laughing again.

"You're so handsome in that suit and I look like a big, black, blob!" she looked like she might cry again.

"C'mon, baby. You ready? You're my blob, and I love you. No more tears, OK. It's gonna be a great night." He lovingly led her to the Escalade

"I figured you'd be more comfortable with your heated seats. I packed your car instead of mine."

"We got everything? Groceries, cabin, shed and generator keys, my meds, your hospital bag for Friday, infant car seat?" Deacon ran through his mental check list

"I think so. Where are we going?" Rayna tried again

"You'll see." He smirked as he started the Escalade

20 minutes later they arrived for their 10pm reservation at the Kayne Prime steakhouse. The hostess led Deacon and Rayna back to the private Union room with amazing union station and city views.

"It's beautiful, Deacon. Thanks for getting the private room. I'm not up for fans like this." She smiled and rubbed Mason

"You're pregnant, Ray. You're absolutely glowing and beautiful."

They chatted and had a nice dinner. They talked about the kids and Mason and how life was about to change. Deacon told Rayna he was going back to the Bluebird on Thursday nights, and gonna really start working his hands to try to play guitar again and reclaim his opry band leader job. He had some new material he'd worked on before the accident for Belcort.

"Remind me to looks for my music bag at the cabin, Ray. That bag wasn't in the boxes you had brought back home."

"I'm gonna take 8 weeks away from Edgehill after the baby, and then start work on my album again." Rayna told Deacon

'Not too soon, Ray. We're gonna have 3 kids. Last time we both tried to work it was just Maddie and it was rough." He reminded her

"Oh Buck said Marshall quit. There's a new label head at Edgehill. I guess he wants to meet with me soon. His name is Jeff."

"Is that good, or bad?" Deacon asked kinda concerned about new blood at Edgehill

"I guess we'll see when I meet him."

"We've got an hour drive to the cabin, babe. We should probably go." Rayna said noticing it was almost midnight

"Not just yet." Deacon smiled and stood up

He pulled a small box from his jacket pocket and dropped to one knee

"We've had a rough year. I love you, Rayna. I wanna reaffirm that tonight, and marry you all over again. So..what do ya say baby? Will you marry me?"

"What on earth are you doing, Deacon?" she was smiling not sure what he meant

Lamar, Tandy, Bucky, and the girls came in with another man Rayna didn't know.

"You haven't answered me yet, Ray?" Deacon still on one knee looking up at her with his deep blue eyes so hopeful for the future reminded her

"I'm not sure what you're up to but, YES! I'd marry you all over again Deacon."

He slipped a new wedding band on her finger.

"This one symbolizes the life we have. There's a diamond for forever, but there's also an opal for the girls and a sapphire for Mason."

"It's beautiful. I love it, Deacon."

"This is Judge Mark Pratt. He's a friend of your father and Tandy's. He's gonna renew our wedding vows tonight." Deacon said as he leaned in to kiss a now sobbing Rayna

"I love you, baby. If I get forever with you, I'd do it all over again, and not change a thing." Deacon whispered with misty eyes.

"I…I….don't know what to say? I love you all so much. You are the sweetest, kindest, man I've ever known Deacon. Thank you for all of this. It really feels like we have a second chance now." She sobbed as everyone got in place.

Judge Pratt began…

Rayna and Deacon will you face each other and join hands

Good relationships never stop evolving. Like fine wine, they just get better with age! Rayna and Deacon, you have now been married 6 years and have now come to this beautiful setting, so that you could renew your vow and commitment of love to each other.

Not one marriage is perfect. As you continue in this union, you already know that it will take a lot of love and work to maintain your relationship.

Many couples tend to think of marriage as a 50/50 proposition. Actually, the best relationships are 90/10. If you both will give 90 percent and take only 10 percent, you will have a formula likely to bring both of you happiness for the rest of your lives.

As you continue on your journey together, I ask you to remember this advice:  
>Let your love be stronger than your anger.<br>Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend than to break.  
>Believe the best of your beloved rather than the worst.<br>Confide in your partner and ask for help when you need it.  
>Remember that true friendship is the basis for any lasting relationship.<br>Give your spouse the same courtesies and kindnesses you bestow on your friends.  
>Say "I love you" every day.<em><br>_

Rayna and Deacon, I remind you that marriage is a special gift; a lifelong dedication to love and a daily challenge to love each another more fully and more freely.

With this understanding, do you Deacon, continue to take Rayna as your beloved wife?  
>Will you continue to be a tender, faithful husband?<br>Will you continue to love and cherish her, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and keep yourself only unto her?

"I will" Deacon said with tears in his eyes

With this understanding, do you Rayna, continue to take Deacon as your beloved husband?  
>Will you continue to be a tender, faithful wife?<br>Will you continue to love and cherish him, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, for better for worse, and keep yourself only unto him?

"I will" Rayna said almost sobbing again

With that said your love and commitment to this marriage have been reaffirmed

You may kiss


	12. Chapter 12

Rayna had been sobbing tears of joy since the renewal ceremony. Deacon held her hand on Mason as he drove to the cabin early on New Year's Day. She finally calmed down and was only sniffling in the seat next to her husband.

"You OK?" He asked as she finally quit bawling enough to talk.

"I'm better than OK, Deacon. I thought I couldn't love you anymore than the day we got married the first time, but it just keeps getting stronger." She started to tear up again as he gently kissed her ring finger, which now held 3 rings.

She looked at the new ring he'd given her a couple hours earlier. It wasn't overly extravagant. It was a thick gold band with a tiny diamond, a tiny opal, and a tiny sapphire embedded into the band. From a distance it simply looked like a gold wedding band, but the tiny stones symbolized so much.

She nestled herself deep into the heated seat as Mason continued his kicking assault on her kidneys.

"I'm sorry this one's so tough on you, Ray." Deacon whispered as he felt Mason moving under his hand and Rayna winced in pain.

"Sorry enough to make sure this doesn't happen again?" she asked smiling

"What?" he asked not sure where she was going

"I think our family is complete with Mason. We have a boy and a girl, and an extra blessing with Scarlett. I think permanent birth control is a serious consideration now." She squeezed his hand

"OK, if you're sure, Ray? You or me?" he asked

"Why don't we check into all the options after Mason is born, and see what seems best?" she smiled at Deacon reassuringly as she saw the concern in his face.

"You OK, babe?" She asked seeing his continued concern and he was suddenly quiet as he drove

"Yeah…I just…." He trailed off in thought

"Worried about the boys?" Rayna laughed and slid her hand up his inner thigh to lighten his mood

"Careful. I'll pull over right here if that hand gets any closer to the boys." He laughed as Rayna teased him with gentle strokes over his blue dress pants.

"OK, I'll stop teasing you. I don't think I can handle car sex. My back is in knots and there's not enough room for all three of us between the seat and steering wheel." She laughed and pulled her hand away.

"You're gonna pay for teasing me later." He smirked as he pulled onto the dirt access road leading to the cabin.

Deacon slowed as the huge ruts in the road violently shook the Escalade and Rayna winced holding Mason. Deacon applied the brakes and came to a complete stop as he surveyed the situation.

"We didn't have the road grater out this summer, did we?" he looked over at Rayna

"I didn't even think about it, babe. After your accident I had the cabin cleaned and locked up. I hadn't thought about this place at all until you mentioned coming up here just yesterday."

"I was too busy worrying about you and your recovery. I'm sorry. I kinda dropped the ball on yearly maintenance issues here." She sadly apologized to Deacon for neglecting the cabin

"It's OK, sweetie. I guess I gave you an awful lot to deal with. I haven't helped with any of this kinda crap since the accident. I'm better mentally and physically now. I'm sorry for dumping so much on you this past year." He squeezed her hand before shifting the car into drive and slowly moving forward trying not to jostle and already uncomfortable Rayna.

"We're gonna have to do something about this road, Ray. This sucks!" Deacon cursed under his breath as he struggled to slowly and carefully drive over the deep ruts.

"It's never been this bad before." Rayna said grabbing a pillow from the backseat to put under Mason.

"Are you sure you're OK? Am I going slow enough?" Deacon asked as he stopped again to help Rayna get the pillow under Mason.

"You're doing great, babe. So sorry I neglected this place. I guess the emergency vehicles, and tow trucks really did a number on this road. I hadn't even considered it, but you said the road was pure mud that night when I called you. Now it's a bunch of deep frozen ruts." She squeezed his hand as they approached the sharp curve at the half way point.

Deacon tensed and pulled his hand away tightening his grip on the wheel. He stopped and put the Escalade in park.

"It was right here, wasn't it?" he asked about the accident that took Vince's life. He glanced into the backseat at the urn. He planned to sprinkle some of Vince's ashes in the river.

"He loved it here. Fishing on the riverbank was the one thing other than drinking and women that he really seemed to enjoy." Deacon said remembering Vince as tears filled his eyes

"I can't believe he's really gone, Ray." Deacon said as he cried

Deacon really hadn't grieved Vince's death. Once out of the coma everything was so much about his recovery, doctor's appointments, and therapy. Then Rayna told him she was pregnant. It had been a crazy year. Both Rayna and Deacon were anxious to forget 1998 and really start over hopeful for a much better 1999.

"It's OK, Deacon. I didn't consider how hard it might be for you to come back up here. You spent almost a month here with Vince before the accident. I'm glad you had that time with him." She rubbed Deacon's back and ran her fingers through his dark hair as he stared into the dark.

Deacon flipped the brights on. The spot directly in front of them was clearly the place the suburban had landed on its roof. The trees had been cut by emergency workers for better access to the flipped vehicle. There were ruts and huge drag marks where they had dragged Deacon's old truck from the woods back to the road for removal and towing.

It was the first time Rayna had seen the spot too. She realized how far the suburban had really been thrown from the roadway. The accident report from that night said the police believed the suburban flipped end over end at least 3 times before landing on its top. Neither man had been wearing a seat belt. She knew now why Deacon's handsome face had been so bruised and batter in those first few days at the hospital, and squeezed his hand tight, thankful he'd survived.

"Are you OK, Deacon?" she asked as he continued to just stare seemingly deep in thought.

"Yeah, yeah…I just didn't think I'd feel so emotional seeing this spot. Guess now we both have raging pregnancy hormones. Maybe we'll both cry all night." He laughed and squeezed her hand before putting the car back in drive to move on.

They came to the security gate. Deacon couldn't remember the code as he leaned out and reached for the control box. He'd done it a million times, but the number escaped him tonight.

"What's the code, baby?" he asked

"Deacon, you seriously don't know it?"

"NO, RAYNA! I DON'T." He said irritated about something else he'd forgotten. His memory was much better, but certain random things he should seemingly know still escaped him at times. It frustrated the hell out of him. There was no rhyme or reason. He'd just suddenly not know something. The doctor said it was perfectly normal after a head injury and might never improve.

"It's 1990, the year we met." She softly reminded him

The gate slowly creaked and protested after almost 9 months with no use. It painstakingly opened in slow motion, stopping dead about half way open. Deacon entered the code again. Nothing, no movement.

"SHIT, the back up battery is dead." He cussed in frustration

"Now what?" asked Rayna almost in tears as another hormonal shift hit her

"It's OK, Ray. I'll just get out and do it the old fashioned way." He laughed as he climbed out and struggled to push the gate open all the way.

"You OK with leaving it open? It's rusty. I don't wanna fight with it to get it closed tonight." He asked as he climbed back in the car

"I doubt anyone's coming down this road. I think we're safe." She smiled laying a hand on his leg

"It'll probably close once the generator kicks in and it has power again." He said as they neared the dark cabin.

It was always so pretty here with the moon coming off the water. There was a light dusting of undisturbed snow covering the area as they neared the open area around the cabin.

Rayna had forgotten about Vince's car still being stuck on the access road inside the gate. Erica had told her in a note she left after cleaning the cabin that it was stuck in the mud, and she hadn't been able to free it.

"I'm sorry, Deacon. I should have taken care of everything up here. It just slipped my mind. I was so focused on you last year." She said as Deacon stopped by Vince's little Honda still stuck in now solid ruts.

"We're gonna have to get a wrecker or tractor to pull that out now, Ray. It's encased in solid, frozen mud 8 inches deep at least." He sighed looking at the car sunken into the ground up to the door bottoms.

After a rough ride on the neglected road they'd finally made it. Deacon smiled as he came around and scooped Rayna into his arms. He carried her over the threshold just like he had the night they moved into the cabin. It had been their first home together as a married couple. Maddie's first year of life had been spent here, before they bought the house in Nashville.

Deacon gently put Rayna down under the "Eternity" sign she'd hung the day they moved in. He pulled her close for a passionate kiss and held her tight for several minutes.

"Feels just like the first time." She started crying again as she whispered in his ear and gently kissed his cheek.

"I was 6 months pregnant with Maddie last time you carried me over that threshold."

"…and now you're 9 months with Mason, and we're starting over tonight, Ray. New Year. New baby. New unbroken vows. I love you, Ray." He gently kissed her with only the moonlight reflecting off the river setting a romantic glow in the room as they held each other tight.

"I'll get the groceries, and bags outta the car." Deacon finally broke the embrace

Two trips later Deacon had the groceries on the kitchen island ready to be put away, and their suitcases by the bedroom door. He put Vince on the fireplace mantle.

Rayna was chilled. It was a cold night. Barely 20 degrees outside, and not much warmer inside the neglected cabin, as she stood, coat still on rubbing her shoulders for warmth.

Everything had been covered in white sheets and plastic. There was a layer of dust on everything as Deacon pulled the sheet from the couch near the fireplace.

"Sit down and cover up with the throw from the couch, baby. I'll start a fire, and get the generator going. Gotta warm you up." He smiled and slowly moved her to the couch. He kneeled in front of her on the couch and kissed her a few times. He ran his hands over Mason.

"How's my boy?" he asked as he lovingly bent to kiss the bump.

"He's quiet now. I think he likes it here. He's peaceful." Rayna said rubbing her hands over Deacon's as she pulled him to her for a passionate make out session on the couch.

"Hold that thought. As much as I'd like to warm you up THAT way, we really need some heat in here. I'll start a fire first to keep you and Mason warm, while I start the generator." He said as he stepped outside for some firewood from the stash just off the porch, which had also been neglected and was running low.

"We're almost outta wood, Ray. Do you still have the number for the guy that sells wood?"

"Yeah, babe. It's in my cell. Do we have enough for tonight?"

"I think so, and the furnace will be on once I get the generator going. We'll be fine tonight." He smiled as he built a fire. He was handsome in the firelight.

10 minutes later Deacon had a roaring fire going. The flames made for an even more romantic glow. Rayna loved the smell of a real wood burning fire. Their fireplace at home was nice, but it was electric start with gas and just wasn't the same.

She loved their quiet time at home too, but somehow pushing a button to start a fire and then flopping on the couch in front of the tv, after a hard day with Deacon wasn't as romantic as it always was here.

There was just something totally sexy and romantic about watching Deacon build a real fire, and then make love to her in front of the fire place like he'd done so many times before. Rayna still couldn't get enough of him. She was ready to curl up together for the night in front of the fire. She couldn't wait to be safe and warm in his arms alone all night. No kids, no work, just the two of them for the next couple days.

"Do you have the shed and generator keys?" Deacon asked pulling her from her daydream about making love in front of the fire.

"Front pocket of my purse." She pointed to her purse near the groceries on the island.

"I'll be right back." He planted a quick peck on her lips as he went out in the cold

10 minutes passed…20 minutes passed….Finally after 30 minutes Rayna got worried.

Deacon hadn't come back in, and the power hadn't come on. She hated to move from under the comfy throw all warm in front of the fire, but she was worried about Deacon out in the cold generator shed.

She shivered as she stepped out on the crispy porch as the wind howled around the corners of the cabin. The river was so pretty with ice and snow on it, but she preferred the view from behind the glass, in front of the fire with coffee in hand at this time of the year.

She could hear Deacon cussing like a sailor before she even got close to the shed. The generator was silent and not running.

"COME ON. START. GODDAMMIT!" he was ranting as he tried unsuccessfully to get the thing running.

She knew he was pissed. The long tirade of obscenities continued as she neared the dark open shed doors.

Deacon let go of the key and yelled "FUCK" as she stepped into the ice cold metal shed.

His hands were shaky, and fumbling. She knew he was having a hard time holding the key in place. The generator had been cranky in the past, but with his fine motor skills not what they used to be he was having a harder time than usual with it. The fact that it was only 20 degrees wasn't helping much either. The engine was cold, and hadn't been started in almost 9 months.

"Not going so well out here, huh?" she tried to rub his back, but he was mad and not in the mood for soothing

"Goddamn thing won't start. I've tried everything." He sniped as he leaned against the casing, looking at the generator in frustration trying to figure out what to do next.

"Your hands are so shaky, babe. Let me help?"

"Go back inside, Rayna. It's freezing out here. You're practically 9 months pregnant. You shouldn't be out here in the cold."

"Well, I'm not leaving you out here alone. Your hands are shaking."

"I'M FINE, RAY!"

"Deacon. Come on. Don't be so stubborn." She tried to lighten his suddenly sour mood

"I'm guessing the yearly maintenance on the generator wasn't done either?" he turned and looked at her in frustration

"No. I'm sorry, babe. I told Erica to just shut it off last year when she finished cleaning the cabin. It hasn't been touched since."

"It's not your fault, Ray. I always took care of all this crap. I should have thought about all of this yesterday before dragging you up here. Just random shit I don't seem to remember or process anymore."

Rayna felt so bad for Deacon. She knew his pride was hurt. His memory just wasn't quite right anymore. She knew he hated to ask her for help especially with things he'd always taken care of, but both of them had completely neglected the cabin since the accident.

"I'm sorry, baby. I wanted tonight to be so perfect for you." He turned and sighed as he looked at the stubborn generator again.

"We'll try it a few more times. If it doesn't start, maybe we should just go home?" he said sadly

"Your hands are so shaky. Let me try." She said as she held his hands and kissed his cheek trying not to hurt his pride too much.

"I haven't done this since we lived here. I just hold the primer till the light goes out, and then turn the key, right?" she asked

"Yeah." He said watching her closely

Rayna didn't have any luck either. Deacon tried using starting fluid. That didn't help. The battery started to give out as Rayna held the key in the start position.

"That's enough, Ray. It's not gonna start. You wanna just go home?" he sighed in frustration looking helplessly at her with wounded male pride.

"No, I think you can keep me warm tonight. We have the fire. We'll get some sleep and decide what to do when we get up." She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him deeply and passionately for several seconds.

"You warmer now?" he whispered as he led her back to the cabin arm in arm.

"Sit in front of the fire, baby. You need to warm up. Thank you for trying to help." He smiled and disappeared into the bedroom coming back with the queen sized mattress from their bed, making another trip for flannel sheets and blankets.

Deacon moved furniture and made up the bed in front of the fire.

"How about that? Can't have my pregnant wife on the cold floor, and it's too damn cold to sleep in the bedroom."

"I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be tonight, Deacon."

"5 star hotel maybe?" he sarcastically replied as he moved the perishable groceries outside to the porch, leaving the bottled water near the sliding door to get cold, but not frozen.

He came back with Rayna's tub of salted caramel ice cream and her jar of pickles.

"Does Mason want his usual late night snack?" he laughed as he sat Rayna's favorite pregnancy staples on the table in front of her.

"You're too good to me, babe. If I had known ice cream and pickles were in those bags you'd have been on your own with that damn generator." She laughed as she opened the ice cream.

"You'd have left me all alone out there in the cold for a tub of ice cream and a jar of pickles? I'm hurt, Ray." He stole her bite of ice cream from the spoon just before she was about to pop it in her mouth and took the tub away as he gently lowered her to the makeshift love nest in front of the fire.

"I really wanted that bite of salted caramel, Deacon!" she said irritated that he'd taken her ice cream tub away and stolen the bite from her spoon.

"Really, how bad?" He grabbed the tub and spoon and took another bite keeping it away from her teasing her as he took another bite.

"What exactly would you be willing to do for it?" he smirked holding a spoon full just far enough from her lips for temptation.

"You know you're playing with fire getting between a pregnant woman and her ice cream." She reached for the spoon, but he pulled it away and ate it himself again.

"Deacon, pleeeeaassee…." She whined like Maddie

"I told you you'd pay for teasing me on the way up here in the car." He smirked and finally fed her a little bite.

"Oh you're just cruel to withhold my ice cream and pickles." She whined more.

"There's one pickle I won't withhold." He laughed as he fed her more ice cream and took another bite himself.

"This one?" Rayna laughed unzipping his navy dress pants and unbuttoning his crisp white dress shirt as she dotted kisses down his chest, down his abs, and slowly took him in her mouth teasing him before moving back up towards his chest so slowly he about spilled the ice cream.

"I'm gonna need another bite if you want me to continue." She laughed as Deacon quickly fed her more ice cream.

"I think the pickle needs a little more attention, Ray." He smirked withholding the ice cream again, as he propped himself on a pillow and watched Rayna slowly dot kisses back down his chest, abs, and slowly take him in her mouth again.

She stayed a little longer this time before moving back up to his lips for a steamy make out session. He couldn't take it anymore and sat the ice cream tub on the table. He slowly and gently slipped inside Rayna and made sweet love to her for almost an hour in front of the cracking fire careful of the baby inside her.

Afterwards he just held her watching the fire as she drifted in and out of sleep with her head on his bare chest. Mason was calm. He seemed to like the warmth of the fire and Deacon so close against Rayna. She sleepily asked for more ice cream looking up at Deacon.

"We just about finished this tub." He smiled down at her as he fed her the last bite.

"I guess a 7-11 run is out, huh?" she asked and pouted about the end of the salted caramel and being to far from anywhere to get more at this hour. At home he'd run out at 3am just weeks ago for ice cream as one of her craving rages set in.

"Yeah, but luckily YOU have an amazing husband that knows you and that son of mine are capable of putting away at least 3 tubs in a sitting. There's a whole grocery bag full of tubs on the porch." He smiled and kissed Rayna on the nose as her eyes welled with tears.

"I do have the most amazing husband. I love you so much, Deacon." She started crying…another hormone shift touched at how sweet Deacon could be, and just something small like ice cream made her heart explode with love for him.

"Who's gonna go get it? It's probably down to 10 degrees out there and we're both naked." He laughed as Rayna pouted under the covers.

"OK, I'll go, but only because I love you so damn much, Ray." Deacon said slipping on his underwear only, as he darted out quickly in the cold, and rushed back in under the covers, his skin already cold after just a few seconds away from the warmth of their fireside bed.

He playfully pressed the tub between Rayna's swollen breasts to make her pay for sending him out to the porch in his underwear.

"Oh Jesus, Deacon, that's cold!" she shrieked about the frozen solid tub between her boobs.

"How the hell do you think I feel, Ray? I just ran out there in my damn tidy whities." He laughed and pressed his cold body against her to get warm again.

Mason clearly didn't like the cold and began moving again. Deacon reached for the ice cream after it'd had a few minutes by the fire to soften. It was pretty solid after being on the porch.

They talked and shared the ice cream as Rayna kept her head on Deacon's bare chest. It was so warm and cozy under the covers, by the crackling fire as they both drifted into a restful sleep cuddled together.

Rayna awoke to the afternoon sun streaming in bouncing off the ice and snow in the river. She smelled bacon and eggs cooking. Sitting up she saw Deacon in the kitchen making a big breakfast. The cabin lights were on and Deacon had a radio volume low on in the kitchen. She quickly threw on some sweat pants and a shirt and snuck over to wrap herself around him at the stove. He turned in her arms.

"Good afternoon." He said leaning in for the days first kiss as she held him tight.

"Still feeling clingy?" he laughed as he hugged her tighter

"I just can't seem to get close enough to you." She smiled in his arms as he turned to tend breakfast again.

"You hungry?"

"Starving."

"Sit down. I'll bring you a plate. Almost ready." He said as he turned off the burners and made up plates for both of them.

"What time is it?" she asked as he served her breakfast

"Almost 1pm" he smiled watching her eye his coffee

"I'd kill for a cup of coffee, right now." She pouted watching him drink it, knowing it isn't good for the baby.

"How about a coffee kiss." He leaned across the breakfast bar for a morning make out session.

"I need a little more." She said pulling him back to her deepening the kisses

"What time did we finally go to sleep?" she asked

"It was almost 5am."

"..and it's 1 now? I slept for 8 hours?" she smiled

"You did. You've been out cold. Mason hasn't moved as far as I could tell either. You were so peaceful. I couldn't wake you. You needed the rest, Ray. Tomorrow we'll have Mason."

"What did you do about the generator? The heat and lights are on. It's nice and cozy in here." She asked as she dug into breakfast

"I took your truck back to the shed and jumped it. I should've tried that last night. Didn't think about it till this morning. Coma brain, I guess." He laughed. It was nice to see him joke about it and not get so flustered. Rayna knew his mental awareness or lack of at times bothered him.

"Damn thing started right up. I guess the battery was just too weak in the cold last night. Seems to be running fine today. I checked the security gate. It closed as soon as the generator kicked in." He smiled happy they didn't need to leave yet. Rayna knew Deacon loved the cabin.

"I'm glad you got it going, honey. I wanted one more night here with you before tomorrow." She squeezed his hands across the table

"Me too, Ray."

"Think I'm gonna do some ice fishing with Vince today. I'm gonna spread some of his ashes by the water. He can always be fishing that way." Deacon said with tears in his eyes

"He'd like that." She said wiping a tear from Deacon's cheek

"I'm gonna straighten up around here. That whole nesting thing has me now. I feel this need to clean and organize like crazy." Rayna laughed because cleaning is not her thing and she only gets this way at the end of a pregnancy.

"The place isn't too bad, Ray. Just dust. Erica did a nice job last year. Vince and I didn't clean much that month we were both living here. I hope you paid Erica well. If not…we owe her more!" he laughed as he kissed Rayna and started to clean up.

"Go fishing, baby. I'll take care of this mess. After tomorrow you'll have a new little Vince to fish with." Rayna said rubbing Mason.

"Might explain why he's been such a little shit during this pregnancy. He's Vince reincarnated." Deacon laughed as he rubbed Mason.

"Trouble maker from day one. Just like Vince. Let's just hope he's not THAT much like him. He'll put us both in an early grave if he gets in half the trouble Vince did."

"Maddie was so calm during pregnancy, and look at her now? I'm hoping that means Mason will be the easy one, and he's getting it out of his system now." She said as Deacon rubbed her belly.

"Scarlett's the easy one. I think we only get one good one." Deacon joked

"They're all good, Deacon. Some are just a little more spirited than others. Maddie has a lot of spirit, but she seems to calm down when she feels loved. She's been an angel since spending the day with you. You need to make sure she knows you love her even when she's not so angelic. She loves you, Deacon. It kills her to disappoint you."

"I know, Ray. I promised her we'd do more daddy/daughter days. I've missed being alone with her, and she has too. I mean, I'm glad you haven't toured for more than a year. I hate it when you're gone for months at a time, but Maddie and I have a special bond because of all the time I had with her alone."

Deacon spent the rest of the afternoon fishing. Rayna cleaned, dusted and put a pot roast in the crock pot for dinner. She made mashed potatoes and gravy. The cabin smelled wonderful as Deacon came in from the cold to have dinner.

The bed was all made up in front of the fireplace.

"I thought you'd probably want me to move the mattress back to the bedroom. Why'd you make the bed?" he asked curious

"I kinda like it there. I wanna sleep out here, in front of the fire, in your arms again." Rayna smiled and kissed his cold lips

"OK, sweetheart. Whatever you want. This couple days is about you and resting. The place looks great. Dinner smells great too. Can't wait to dig in."

"Oh, I found your music bag in the bedroom. Those songs are amazing, Deacon. Sad, but I know you were in a lot of emotional pain when you wrote them. Belcort's gonna love them."

"Thanks, Ray. Are you OK with me releasing them? They're about us, and a pretty painful time in our marriage."

"Yeah, maybe you can write some happier songs now to go along with them?"

"I have a few ideas." He smiled as disappeared down the hall to shower before dinner.

After dinner Deacon was scribbling lyrics on a notepad as Rayna cleaned up the kitchen.

"Whatcha writin?" she asked wrapping her arms around Deacon from behind

"It's about Vince. I kinda wrote it in my head while I was fishing today. Needed to get it down before the coma brain loses it."

"Can I play it for you?"

"I'd love that, Deacon. I miss you singing and performing so much. I'm so happy you're trying to get back to music. It's been way too long."

Deacon surprised Rayna when he grabbed an old guitar he kept at the cabin and sat down. He cursed and fumbled for a little while, but he kept trying, and eventually found the few chords to play Vince's song.

**"Drink A Beer" Luke Bryan**

When I got the news today  
>I didn't know what to say.<br>So I just hung up the phone.

I took a walk to clear my head,  
>This is where the walking led<br>Can't believe you're really gone  
>Don't feel like going home<p>

So I'm gonna sit right here  
>On the edge of this pier<br>Watch the sunset disappear  
>And drink a beer<p>

Funny how the good ones go  
>Too soon, but the good Lord knows<br>The reasons why, I guess

Sometimes the greater plan  
>Is kinda hard to understand<br>Right now it don't make sense  
>I can't make it all make sense<p>

So I'm gonna sit right here  
>On the edge of this pier<br>Watch the sunset disappear  
>And drink a beer<p>

So long my friend  
>Until we meet again<br>I'll remember you  
>And all the times that we used to...<p>

... sit right here on the edge of this pier  
>And watch the sunset disappear<br>And drink a beer  
>Drink a beer,<br>Drink a beer.  
>Yeah<p>

The both had tears in their eyes when he finished.

"I love it, Deacon. Vince would too. …and you can play guitar. When did you know you could?"

"It just kinda came back. Seems like a lot of things that I couldn't remember, or didn't want to remember are flooding back now. I just gotta get my fingers to cooperate. Still hard to get my fingers to do what my brain tells them to." He said sadly

"You will, Deacon. The doctor said be patient, but persistent. Keep trying and eventually everything will come back. This could have been so much worse. I know you get frustrated with all the little things that this accident took from you, but you were really very lucky, Deacon. You could have lost your entire memory, and not remembered anything including me and the kids. Your "damnesia" as Maddie calls it really wasn't that bad."

"I know, Ray. I haven't thanked you nearly enough for taking care of me. You could have just left me in a nursing home, but you took me home, and put up with my moody ass, and made me work at getting better even when I fought you. Thank you for helping me get my life back."

"I'd do it all again, Deacon. Let's go to bed. I'm feeling clingy. I need to hold you tight."

"I'll be right there, baby." He said as he turned off lights, built the fire back up, and grabbed a tub of ice cream to share.

After a couple hours of ice cream and sweet gentle love making in front of the fire, Rayna drifted off to sleep in Deacon's arms. She was in a deep sleep when she woke to Deacon screaming and thrashing around in his sleep. His thrashing was so violent she got up and away from him afraid he'd hurt the baby. He seemed to be awake, but she didn't think he was. His eyes were open, but he wouldn't respond to her.

"Deacon….Deacon…." she kept saying his name, but he didn't respond

She wanted to hold him, and tell him it was OK, but she worried he'd hurt Mason if he started thrashing again.

"Deacon, baby..please talk to me. You're scaring the hell out of me!" she watched as he calmed down his eyes open, but no response.

He hadn't moved for a few minutes. She curled up next to him again, fear gripping her. Praying he wouldn't hurt her or Mason. He was just like he was in the hospital the day he seemingly woke up, but had only a blank stare and really didn't seem to be there.

"DEACON! Come on, Deacon. Pllleeeeaasssee, Deacon, wake up. What's wrong?" she was sobbing on his chest

She wasn't sure what to do. They were an hour from Nashville. Deacon wouldn't wake up or respond to her. She was in panic mode. She tried to sit him up.

"Come on, baby. Just walk to the car for me…PLEASE, DEACON?"

She struggled to sit him up. She was straining to get him up when she felt a sharp pain in her abdomen and the familiar whoosh of her water breaking.

"NOOOOO….NOT NOW! DEACON, PLEASE….MASON'S COMING! I NEED YOU!"

She felt light headed. She knew she might pass out soon. She dialed 911, and then called Tandy to stay on the line with her while she waited.

Her head felt so fuzzy…

"Rayna? Rayna?...helps coming…hang in there." Tandy helplessly pleaded over the phone and hour away unable to do anything but wait.

Rayna heard sirens in the distance. She had extreme pain in her lower abdomen, and then everything went dark as she collapsed against Deacon's chest


	13. Chapter 13

Tandy paced in the emergency waiting room. She'd already had 3 cups of coffee. She'd left Bucky at home with Maddie and Scarlett over 2 hours ago.

"Excuse me. Is there anything on Rayna or Deacon Claybourne yet?" She asked the receptionist at the check in desk again.

"No, ma'am. I'm sorry, but there's nothing registered in our systems under either name."

"CAN'T YOU CHECK, OR MAKE SOME CALLS? THEY WERE ONLY AN HOUR FROM NASHVILLE. AN AMBULANCE WAS SUPPOSE TO HAVE BEEN THERE OVER 2 HOURS AGO. THEY SHOULD HAVE ARRIVED BY NOW!" she snapped at the poor woman behind the counter in frustration.

"I'm sorry ma'am. I need you to please calm down. I will make some calls and see what I can find out."

"Thanks, I'm sorry. She's my sister and she's 9 months pregnant." Tandy said with tears pricking her eyes

Several minutes passed as the woman made calls and typed on her computer.

"OK, I called dispatch. They did send out an ambulance, but there were access problems at the property. They had to call for a 4 wheel drive vehicle. They couldn't get the ambulance down the road. They are en route here now. Probably another 15 minutes before they arrive."

"Thank you for checking. Anything about how they are? Is my sister OK…and the baby?"

"There's very little information. They were both unconscious and unable to provide any information about what happened. The 911 call information simply says:

Female caller, 9 months pregnant, water broke

Husband is unresponsive after what appeared to be a seizure of some sort"

Two hours later Deacon awoke in a hospital room, the morning sun streaming in. His head was pounding. Everything seemed fuzzy and hazy. There was sound around him, but it seemed muffled or distant. He struggled to focus his eyes and strained to hear clearly.

He remembered yelling at Vince to "slow down." He remembered the slow motion of the suburban flipping end over end. He felt the pain all over again as his body bounced around inside the rolling truck. He remembered Vince laying next to him. Pouring rain, and mud everywhere. Vince was mumbling, and bleeding from the mouth as Deacon struggled to help him breathe.

"Vinny, come on. Breathe! Stay with me." He remembered watching Vince gurgle and take his last breath as he pleaded with him to stay. The rain continued to pound the metal truck.

He remembered a woman. Connie, Vince's latest love interest screaming over and over…..

"VINCE, VINCE, VINCE…NOOOOOOOOOO!" as she tried to pull Vince from the car, but it was too late. He was already dead, laying in a dark pool of his own blood, mixing with rain as it continued to pour.

He remembered Connie screaming again as she jumped back. There was a horrible metal twisting sound as the suburban rolled from its side onto its top.

Deacon remembered being thrown again painfully against the roof. His head slammed into something hard, and darkness as his own life flashed before him.

The first time he saw Rayna

Proposing to Rayna

Their wedding day

Maddie's birth

…..and then nothing but darkness…

"Mr. Claybourne, can you hear me?" asked a woman dressed in white as Deacon blinked to focus on her face, and strained to hear her words.

"Yeah, what, where?..." he asked in confusion as he scanned the room for Rayna.

"You're at Vanderbilt Hospital. You had a seizure. Do you remember?" the woman in white asked.

He nodded no.

"Where's my wife? Where's Rayna?" he asked as he scanned the room again.

"I'm not sure. I think they took her to delivery. You're having a baby today. Do you remember anything about that?" she asked as he Deacon leaned back against the pillow.

He nodded yes as his head continued to pound.

Suddenly realizing the nurse said "delivery." He bolted upright.

"I need to see Rayna. I need to be with her. Mason!" he struggled to pull out the IV as the nurse tried to push him back into bed.

"Mr. Claybourne, PLEASE…you need to relax. I'll check on your wife, but lay down." She said leaving the room to check her computer for information on Rayna.

Before she could check and get back to his room, Deacon had his jeans and boots on. He was still wearing the hospital gown, as he approached the nurse's station demanding to know where he could find Rayna.

"MR. CLAYBOURNE! YOU NEED TO GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM!" the nurse demanded as a large male nurse tried to force Deacon into a wheelchair.

"WHERE THE HELL IS MY WIFE?" Deacon pushed the male nurse away and got up heading towards the maternity area he remembered where Maddie was born.

He stopped at the information desk after coming off the elevator on the maternity floor.

"I'm Deacon Claybourne. My wife is Rayna Claybourne. She's in labor. PLEASE..tell me where to find her?" he demanded as the woman behind the desk looked at his hospital gown, but eventually answered him.

"She's in delivery room 6, Mr. Claybourne, but you can't just walk in th….." he was heading towards room 6 before she could stop him.

He slowly opened the double doors to room 6. Rayna was on the bed, legs in stirrups. Tandy beside her holding her hand.

"Sir, you need to be in surgical scrubs to be in here." A man came running to stop Deacon and quickly helped him into scrubs over his jeans and hospital gown.

"Are you a patient, sir?" the same man asked, as Deacon ignored him and went straight for Rayna.

"I got this." He said as he took Rayna's hand from Tandy. Tandy stepped back knowing Deacon was what Rayna needed most right now.

Rayna looked exhausted as Deacon gently kissed her head. She squeezed his hand weakly.

"Deacon, are you OK? I was so worried about you." she cried barely able to lift her head.

"I'm fine, Ray. Let's just worry about you right now." He pushed hair off her sweaty forehead as his eyes filled with tears, and worry. She looked so weak.

"I'm a little late to the game. What's going on? I thought we were doing a C section?" he asked as Doctor Finn appeared to be attempting a regular delivery under the sheet.

Doctor Finn was too busy with Rayna and Mason to respond. Tandy filled him in.

"The wanted to do a C section, but Mason had other ideas. Rayna's water broke at the cabin. She called 911, but the road was in such bad shape they couldn't get the ambulance to the cabin. By the time they got a 4 wheel drive to you guys, and made the hour long drive back here to the hospital Mason was already crowning. Doctor Finn is trying a normal delivery, but Deacon…." Tandy's eyes filled with tears

"NO, what's wrong?" Deacon asked as tears threatened.

"Rayna has lost a lot of blood. She's weak. It was too late for painkillers so it's all been natural. It's been 7 hours already. Mason is stuck in the birth canal. He doesn't have a lot of oxygen. The umbilical cord is tight around his neck. His heart rate drops every time Rayna pushes. They're trying to get him naturally because that would be safest at this point, but if they can't they'll have to push him back in and do the C section."

"Why can't they just do the C section?" Deacon asked

"It's dangerous for both of them. There's already so much blood loss, and the cord is suffocating Mason. If she pushes him back it might tighten more around his neck."

"Ray, I'm here. Whatever happens, I love you and Mason." He was fighting to be strong and not cry. Rayna needed him more than ever.

"OK, Rayna..Do you think you can push again?" the Doctor asked as Rayna nodded yes

"On 3….1…..2….3…big push…come on, keep trying…" Rayna weakly squeezed Deacon's hand as all the energy drained from her, but Mason didn't budge. The fetal heart monitor signaled distress again and a low indicator flashed.

"OK, stop…let's give Mason a break." The doctor said as the monitor slowly picked up again

Deacon exhaled as Mason's heart rate climbed again.

"It's been like this for over 7 hours." Tandy rubbed Deacon's back in support as he kissed Rayna's head again.

"Ready to push again?" the doctor asked from under the sheet as Rayna nodded yes.

"On 3…1…2…3…..push…he moved a little. Come on Rayna…one big push and we might have it."

The fetal monitor flat lined as Rayna pushed as hard as she could.

"Come on, Rayna…keep pushing. We need to get him out NOW! He's not getting oxygen. Come on…PLEASE RAYNA…this is your baby's life….BIG PUSH….." with one last push that took everything Rayna had Mason came free. There was no crying. They didn't hand him to Rayna. He was rushed to a table where CPR began.

Rayna began to hemorrhage with all the blood loss. Her heart rate dropped as a team of Doctors pushed Deacon and Tandy away to work on her.

Deacon and Tandy watched in horror looking between Mason and Rayna as they tried to resuscitate Mason and stop Rayna's bleeding.

They held each other and cried, not believing both lives were hanging on precariously in the balance.

Finally after what seemed like forever Mason let out a tiny weak cry.

Deacon almost collapsed against Tandy hearing his son for the first time. The baby was quickly rushed out of the delivery room and to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.

Deacon had barely seen him. He didn't get to hold him. Rayna was still lying motionless on the birthing table as several Doctors and nurses surrounded her.

Suddenly her heartrate spiked, and blood pressure dropped. Deacon and Tandy were ushered to a waiting room as Rayna was prepped for an emergency life saving hysterectomy to stop the excessive bleeding.

Deacon was a mess in the waiting room. Still in his own hospital gown, jeans, and boots. He cried in Tandy's arms.

"I can't lose her, not now, not after everything we've been through." He wept over and over in his sister in laws arms as the hours passed with no news.

Finally a nurse came looking for Deacon.

"Mr. Claybourne? Would you like to see your son?" the woman asked

She led Deacon up to the Neonatal Intensive Care floor. Mason was in a clear isolate. He had a ventilator to breathe and tubes and monitors all over his little body. Deacon wasn't allowed to hold him. The only contact was through arm holes and gloved.

Tandy watched as Deacon lovingly ran his hand over Mason's little head and talked to his new little boy.

He was a large baby weighing in at 9pounds 6 ounces, but he looked so fragile. He had Deacon's dark hair and facial features. He still had a bluish color after so many hours lacking oxygen in the birth canal.

"Hey, Mace. Daddy's right here. You're gonna be fine, big guy. You've been hard on mommy, but she's gonna be fine too. I'm sure she can't wait to see you." Deacon cried as he talked to Mason and gently rubbed his little body.

Mason seemed to know he was there turning his head towards Deacon's voice. He wasn't moving a whole lot, but he did open his tiny dark blue eyes a few times looking at Deacon.

"I'm Mason's private nurse, Clare." A young brunette told Deacon

"I'll be keeping watch over him from 3pm to 3am. We're gonna take good care of him Mr. Claybourne."

Deacon felt weak as he and Tandy returned to the waiting room to await news on Rayna. He stopped and leaned against the hallway wall trying to catch his breath. His head was spinning and still pounding from this morning.

"Are you OK, Deacon?" Tandy asked concerned

"I don't know how the hell Rayna did this for a goddamn month. I've haven't made it a day and I just wanna crawl in a hole and die." He said with tears in his eyes

"She's a fighter Deacon. That's how she did it. That's how she's going to come through this too."

"You haven't said anything about yourself. Did they release you this morning, or how did you end up in the delivery room." She asked looking at the gown he still wore and the bracelet still on his wrist.

"No, I had to be with Ray. I just walked out of my room."

"Deacon, you had some kind of episode last night. You need to let the doctors find out why. You're not gonna be any good to Rayna or Mason if you're laying in a hospital bed again, or dead." She snapped at him for being so careless with his own health, but at the same time admiring the love he had for Rayna.

"I'm taking you back to your own room. Where is it?" she demanded

Deacon tried to move away from the wall, but again felt weak and dizzy.

"I need some help here." Tandy grabbed a nurse to help Deacon

Once in his hospital bed again Tandy promised him she'd let Doctor Finn know where he was and tell him the second they knew something about Rayna.

A very unhappy nurse came in to reinsert Deacon's IV, and scold him for getting her in trouble.

"You need to stay in that bed Mr. Claybourne. You got me in quite a bit of trouble with my supervisor for losing a patient." She said sternly

"I'm sorry. My wife had a baby boy. I wanted to be there." He said tears threatening again.

"Congratulations, but we need to focus on you. I'll tell the Doctor you're back. He'll be in to see you later. Would you like a meal? You haven't eaten today." She asked softening as she saw the tears in Deacon's eyes.

"Yeah, and maybe coffee. Can I have that?"

"I don't see why not. The Doctor didn't specify any diet restrictions." She smiled as she left the room to call for a meal

Deacon had a sandwich and coffee. He wasn't as fuzzy and dizzy anymore. He wanted to know what was happening with Rayna, but Tandy said she'd let him know as soon as she knew anything.

With nothing to do, but wait and worry he fell into a restless sleep. The nurse had given him something in his IV to calm his nerves. He instantly didn't like the way it made him feel. He felt depressed and hopeless, and he knew he needed to be strong for Rayna and Mason.

Everything seemed fuzzy again. The light was hazy. He wasn't sure if he was awake or dreaming. He thought he heard Tandy say that Rayna didn't survive the surgery.

He saw himself standing over her bed, holding her hand. Crying till he couldn't cry anymore. Wondering how to tell 3 kids their mother was gone. Mason would never know Rayna.

He saw himself in a black suit holding baby Mason with the girls next to him. They were standing over a casket. Everyone was crying.

Mason's first birthday. A bittersweet day. Mason was a healthy happy toddler, making a mess with his cake, but Rayna wasn't there to see it.

Later they all stood over a head stone marking both Mason's birthday, and the day Deacon lost Rayna forever, 1/2/99 engraved on the stone.

The next images were of a high school prom. He was taking pictures of Maddie and Scarlett with their dates as a 10 year old Mason teased his sisters about "getting laid" later.

Deacon scolded him "MASON JAYMES! I DON'T WANNA HEAR THAT ABOUT YOUR SISTERS!" He said as the ornery little boy continued to tease them.

He saw Maddie and Scarlett graduating high school as he sat in the audience with Mason, Lamar and Tandy.

Maddie's wedding day, as he stood in the bride's room dressed in a tux, trying not to cry both because a now 24 year old Maddie was getting married, but also because Rayna wasn't there to see how beautiful her daughter was.

An old man sitting alone on the porch at the cabin, as the sun set over the Cumberland River. He realized it was himself. The kids grown and gone, pursuing their own lives and careers. They'd visit the cabin with grandkids a couple times a year, but mostly Deacon was alone, to remember the last couple of days he'd shared there with the love of his life so many years ago.


	14. Chapter 14

"Deacon…Deacon…Deacon…." He heard his name, and felt someone shaking him. He couldn't open his eyes. It was like the never ending nightmare he'd felt in the coma. He knew his loved ones were there, but he couldn't speak, couldn't open his eyes, and tell them he knew.

Everything was still a hazy fog. "Did Rayna die?" He felt and overwhelming sense of grief.

"DEACON! COME ON, WAKE UP!..." a now worried and more alarming sounding voice pleaded.

"I'M GETTING A NURSE…" the same voice said and he heard a door open, and close

His chest felt like it was being squeezed. He was soaked…his hair matted to his forehead. "Was it blood, sweat, rain?" He wasn't sure. He was struggling to breathe like he might drown. He couldn't get enough air.

He heard the door open again, and two different voices talking not to him, but each other…

"He's sweating, and unresponsive…I tried to wake him, but…"

"Relax, Ms. Hampton. He's fine. I put a sedative in his IV earlier. Let me remove his IV drip. He'll slowly wake up." The nurse said as she removed Deacon's IV.

"I'll get him a dry gown and dry sheets. Some people react with sweating to sedatives. It's nothing to be alarmed about."

He felt cooler, almost cold as someone sat him up, undressed him, redressed him, made a bed around him…the pillow was dry as his head was gently placed back on it.

"OK, he's dressed with fresh bedding. You can come back in Ms. Hampton. He's waking up."

"Deacon…" he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder as he slowly opened his eyes

"Rayna…where's Ray? Please, tell me she's OK?" he pleaded as he looked into his sister in laws eyes

"She's in recovery. There were some complications. They're going to move her to ICU soon." Tandy said as she rubbed his shoulder.

"Complications?" his eyes welled with new tears

"They had a really hard time stopping the blood flow. She's really weak, but she came through it. They're worried about infection. She's running a high fever."

"I need to see her." Deacon said as he tried to get up

"No, you need to take care of yourself, Deacon. She's going to need you, and Mason is going to need you if….." Tandy's eyes welled with tears.

"If…If WHAT? No…she might not….NO…" he slumped back against the pillow.

"The next 24 hours is going to be rough, but Doctor Finn is a good Doctor. She really seems to care. She's watching Rayna very closely."

"I wanna see her. If something happens….she needs to know I love her before…" he turned away from Tandy crying

"Deacon, she knows you love her. You've made her very happy over the years. I don't think there's a doubt in her mind about the fact that you love her." She tried to reassure him

"I need to see Mason. When I do see Ray, I wanna tell her about him. I need to know he's OK, before I tell her." He pleaded with Tandy to see his new son again.

"I'll get the nurse, and see what they say. You stay in that bed, Deacon Claybourne!" Tandy sternly warned him as she left the room.

"OK, Mr. Claybourne. We're gonna help you into the wheelchair. Your sister in law can take you to see your son." A woman who'd just started her 3rd shift job helped Deacon out of bed.

"I can walk. Is the damn chair really necessary?" he grumbled as they sat him in the chair

"Yes, you can probably walk, but you've had 6 hours of sedation. You've only been awake a couple hours. Hospital regulations." The new nurse explained

"Just cooperate, Deacon! You got your way! I'm taking you to see Mason!" an exhausted Tandy reasoned with him

"FINE!" he sniped sitting in the chair

"CAN I AT LEAST HAVE MY DAMN PANTS?" he barked

"Honestly, I don't know how my sister hasn't killed you." Tandy sniped back throwing his jeans at him

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to…." He swallowed a lump feeling bad for being difficult. Tandy had been at the hospital almost 24 hours with no sleep.

"Thank you for everything." He sniffled feeling emotional again

"It's OK. Everyone's on edge. It's been a rough day. Let's go see that handsome nephew of mine." She smiled as she wheeled Deacon to the elevator.

It was almost 6am. The nurse from the day before, Clare was gone. A new nurse took the 3am to 3pm shift with Mason. Jen, was holding a fussy Mason near his isolette trying to soothe him. The ventilator was off, but he still had wires and monitors and probes all over his little body.

"He can breathe on his own?" Deacon asked with tears in his eyes as Jen turned with a quietly crying Mason

"Yes, you must be daddy. They only used the ventilator on him for a few hours after birth to give him some time to relax and not put so much stress on him after the rough delivery. He needed to rest. He's doing great. Would you like to feed him?" she asked Deacon as another nurse came in with a bottle

"Yeah, I'd love to." Deacon said as Jen gently placed him on Deacon's lap careful of the wires and monitors.

Mason's color was a lot better. He was a plump pink baby now. Not the blue sickly looking little guy from yesterday afternoon. He stopped fussing as soon as he was in Deacon's arms. The other nurse handed Deacon the bottle.

"He may not take a bottle very well. This is the first we've tried. He had a feeding tube until just a few hours ago." The nurse explained

Deacon place the nipple near Mason's lips. He didn't take it. He tried for several minutes, but Mason was stubborn and seemed to have no interest in the bottle.

"Just keep trying." The nurse coaxed seeing Deacon's frustration

Mason got mad and started to fuss as Deacon tried to force the nipple.

"Come on, Mace. You can do this, big guy. Ya gotta eat." Deacon cooed to his son as he touched Mason's lips with the nipple

Mason became agitated and his heart rate spiked. The monitor beeped signaling distress.

"OK, give him a little break to calm down, and then try again. Maybe hold him close for a few minutes." The nurse suggest as Deacon gave her the bottle and held a fussy Mason to his chest rubbing his little back till he stopped crying.

"He's so quiet when he cries. Maddie just wailed." Deacon said remembering Maddie's first few days.

"He'll get louder. Don't worry. He just had a rough time coming into the world. He's still tired. Once he gets his strength he'll wail too!" The nurse assured Deacon.

"Let's try the bottle again. Try some exercises first. Gently touch his cheeks with your fingers. Try to get him to root towards your finger."

Deacon placed Mason back on his lap rubbing his little chubby cheeks gently. He rooted towards Deacon's fingers and tried to suckle Deacon's pointer finger.

"Go ahead, let him. He needs to learn to suckle." She suggested as Deacon gently let Mason suckle his finger. He wrapped both tiny hand around Deacon's hand.

"He's got a pretty good grip already." Deacon beamed watching his baby boy, holding his little hands.

The nurse slowly pressed the bottle to Mason's lips and instructed Deacon to take it as he gently removed his finger and took over the bottle feeding. Mason eagerly sucked the nipple once he realized it was food.

He quickly finished the two ounces, and cried for more.

"He's a big boy. Is that enough for him?" Deacon asked as Mason cried

"We'll try 3 next feeding. We don't wanna overdue it on the first try. Just burp him and comfort him now. We'll give you some time alone." She smiled as both nurses left Tandy and Deacon in the private nursery room alone with Mason.

Deacon held Mason close again and patted his little back till he let out a large burpy air bubble.

"Wow..no wonder you got hiccups inside mama so much. You got some major air bubbles there, buddy." Deacon propped Mason on his knee to look at him.

"He's beautiful. I wish Ray could see him now." Deacon said tearing up as Tandy rubbed his shoulder and cooed to her new nephew.

"He is a handsome devil. So big. I can't believe Rayna pushed that out. She has such a small frame." Tandy was amazed at Mason's 9 pound 6 ounce size.

"Mama did good, huh? How am I ever gonna do this alone if…." Deacon's eyes filled with tears as he pulled Mason close to his chest again and hugged the infant, kissing his little head, still careful of the wires and monitors

"Don't think like that, Deacon. Rayna is gonna be fine. She'd never wanna leave this baby and you and the girls." She tried to reassure him as he cried with Mason against his chest kissing him and watching him move.

Mason drifted off to sleep against Deacon's chest. One of the nurses came and placed him back in his isolette after several kisses from his daddy.

Tandy slowly pushed Deacon down the hall toward the elevator.

"I gotta see her, Tandy. Please, take me to see, Rayna." He begged

"OK, we'll see if she's in a room yet." She slowly pushed Deacon to ICU

Rayna had only been in a room 30 minutes. Doctor Finn was at the nurse's station as Tandy pushed Deacon near the station.

"How's my wife?" he asked trying to hold back tears. It was all so surreal. Just a couple days ago Doctor Finn assured them everything was fine as they looked at Mason on the ultrasound. Now Rayna was fighting for her life.

It was all so unfair. They'd survived a horrible year. All the fights, Rayna's affair, their separation, Deacon's accident and recovery, A new baby, and now this.

He'd do it all again if Doctor Finn would just say Rayna's fine. He didn't give a damn about Luke Wheeler anymore, or all the stupid fights. He just wanted Rayna safe, happy, and healthy in his arms again.

"She's hanging in there. We have her in a private room now. She's still running a fever. I'm really worried about an infection. We're running tests." The Doctor explained to Deacon and Tandy

"Can I see her, PLEASE?' Deacon begged with such sadness in his eyes the Doctor couldn't refuse.

"OK, but only for a few minutes. She needs to rest. She needs all her strength now to fight this."

Tandy wheeled Deacon to Rayna's bedside. He'd never seen her look so weak and helpless as he took her hand in his and gently kissed her fingers.

"I'll leave you alone." Tandy said as she stepped out of the room

"Hey, Ray. I'm here, baby. You gotta fight, sweetie. We have two little girls that need you so much. A brand new baby boy that can't wait to meet his mama. He's doin good. I just fed him. He's a big boy. 9 pounds, 6 ounces, Ray. You did it. I know it must've hurt like hell, but you did it, baby." He whispered as he held her hand and cried in the dark room.

"They need you soo much, Ray. …but honestly, I think I need you more. I can't do this alone, baby. I love you so goddamn much, Ray. Please, don't leave me like this….." he layed his head on the bed next to her as he leaned forward in the wheelchair still holding her right hand as he cried quietly.

Several minutes passed. He felt a little fuzzy again after an emotional feeding with Mason and now seeing Rayna so weak and helpless. He closed his eyes and just took in her scent with his head next to her on the bed.

He thought he was imagining it at first, but he felt Rayna's fingers in his thick hair. She always loved running her fingers through his hair. He looked up. She was sleepily smiling at him only about half awake. She had her left hand weakly running her fingers through his hair. She smiled and drifted slowly back to sleep after he met her loving gaze.


	15. Chapter 15

"Why don't you go home, Tandy?" Deacon said as Tandy helped him back into his own hospital bed.

"I hate to leave her."

"You're exhausted. There's nothing you can do right now. Her Doctor knows where to find me, and I'll go back to check on her later. I promise I'll call if anything changes."

"You need to stay in that bed, Deacon!" she sternly warned him

"I'm fine. My wife and son need me." He sniped stubborn as ever

Tandy reluctantly went home for some rest. Deacon managed to sleep for a few hours. He felt better knowing Mason was getting stronger and off the ventilator. Rayna's smile had meant everything to him. It gave him a glimmer of hope that she'd be OK.

He continued to be a difficult patient making the neuro unit nurses crazy. He felt fine, and wanted to be discharged. He refused to let them reinsert the IV, or give him any medication other than Tylenol for his headache.

He'd hated the way the sedative had made him feel, and the vivid dream about Rayna's death had shaken him. He was upset that the nurse had drugged him to keep him in his bed.

They finally gave up trying to keep him in his room. He put on his pants and went to the NICU to feed Mason every few hours, and always peeked in on Rayna before going back to his own room. The NICU nurses had fallen in love with the handsome baby boy, and didn't mind his handsome daddy's presence in the least as Deacon arrived every few hours like clockwork to feed and cuddle Mason.

Deacon really wasn't pleased when Doctor Simms requested he stay another night just for observation, and to wait for ALL test results to come in. He really wanted to be in a chair by Rayna's side just as she'd been for him during his coma.

He called the girls and told them all about their new baby brother, careful not to say much about Rayna other than she was really tired and sleeping. He missed them, even the little bickering wars that seemed to happen regularly in Claybourne household as Maddie and Scarlett became more like sisters, and less like cousins every day.

"He's been waiting for his daddy." One of Mason's nurses said as Deacon took a fussy Mason from her

"You think so?" Deacon asked

"Yeah, he seems to know your voice and look for you. Did you talk to him a lot while your wife was pregnant?" the nurse asked

"I guess I did." He thought of all the chats he'd had with Mason to behave as he terrorized Rayna from inside

"They know mom and dad before they're born. Usually if I'm taking care of them it's because their parents can't for whatever reason. They always seem to look for them, and know the voices. He cries when you leave." She told Deacon

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Deacon asked as he held Mason a little tighter, kissed his head, and felt guilty for not being with him all the time.

"Yes, and no. He knows you already. That's a good thing. He's done so much better since you've been coming by every few hours. It's almost like he waits for you." She smiled as she left Deacon alone for the ritual feeding he'd been doing every few hours.

Mason peered up at him as Deacon fed him. He had a look in his eyes Deacon hadn't ever seen with Maddie. Deacon wasn't sure what it was, but it almost felt like an emptiness or longing for Rayna.

"What are you thinkin about big guy?" he asked the baby as he eagerly sucked away staring at Deacon

"You're gonna see mama real soon. She can't wait to meet you." He brushed Mason's soft cheek with his thumb

He finished his bottle quickly and cried for more, but the nurses assured Deacon 4 ounces was enough for now. More than most newborns take.

Deacon held him close and patted his little back till he let out his usual strong burp.

"Maybe you're eatin too quick, buddy. That just seems painful." He said as he put him back on his lap to look at him

He stayed a little longer this time, feeling guilty after hearing that Mason cries when he leaves him.

"I'll be back soon, Mace." He told Mason as he handed him to the nurse, and teared up a little

He took a deep breath and shook off the sadness as he walked toward the ICU to peek in on Rayna. She was sleeping like she had been the last 3 or 4 times he'd been by.

He wanted to be near her. He missed her so much. He sat in the chair next to her this time.

"Hey, Ray. I'm back. Just fed Mason again. He's doing so well, baby. He's off the ventilator, and eating good. He seems to know my voice. I think he misses his mama. He's just got a look in his eye."

Rayna didn't move. Her color seemed odd. Her hands and face seemed swollen as he looked at her. Her hands seemed cooler, but her forehead was still burning with fever as Deacon gently kissed her.

"I'll be back soon, Ray. I love you." He whispered as he got up to leave

Doctor Finn was coming down the hall as he left Rayna's ICU room.

"Hey, Doctor Finn. How's Ray? Any test results yet?"

"Yes, actually I was just going to check on her, and call you."

"Call me, why?"

"Her tests confirm we're dealing with a serious kidney infection. The antibiotics we've been giving her don't seem to be working."

"So now what?" he asked swallowing a lump

"This is one of the more serious infections I've seen. It's called pyelonephritis. It's when pockets of infection form in the kidneys. Antibiotics don't work when it's this bad."

"What other options are there?" Deacon asked

"I'll need to perform a nephrostomy. I'll insert a tube through her back to drain the abscess's."

"Another surgery?"

"Yes, these tubes can be permanent, but with Rayna it should only be a few days, and we'll removed them. We'll continue strong antibiotics, and fluids. Once we get her kidneys flushed out I'm hopeful normal function will resume."

"…and if it doesn't?" Deacon asked feeling weak again himself. Rayna being sick was more than he could handle as he struggled to understand everything the doctor was saying.

"We'll go over more options later if need be. I'm gonna need you to fill out some forms now."

"So if she doesn't have this nephro…whatever you called it, or it doesn't work. What happens?" he asked wanting to be clear on all options.

"Deacon, her kidneys are already not functioning well. If they continue to decline she'll go into full renal failure."

"….and die?" he asked struggling to maintain control over his emotions

"There would still be some options, dialysis until a transplant."

"She could end up needing a kidney transplant?" he leaned against the wall processing the information

"We're trying not to get to that point, but yes, worse case scenario she could need a transplant. Most people have an infection in only one kidney and can survive with the remaining but both of hers are compromised."

"How does it get this bad so quick? She was fine when you did the ultrasound 2 days ago. You said Mason was just a big baby, and…." He trailed off trying not to cry

"He was large for her small frame. He took up so much space it was hard to see her organs clearly. I suspect now that she already had the infection. The pregnancy and Mason's kicking masked the infection."

"She was in a lot of pain. Her back was bothering her weeks ago. We told you that." Deacon was pissed they'd told the doctor of symptoms that pointed to more than pregnancy issues. He wanted someone to blame. Someone to yell at, but what would be the point. Rayna was already sick.

"I'm sorry. I promise you I'm doing the best I can for her. I couldn't see a problem when we did the last 2 ultrasounds. I would never intentionally put her in harms way. Pregnancy can mask a lot of things." She put a hand on Deacon's shoulder to comfort him.

"OK, where do I sign these forms?" he asked

"They have them at the nurses station. I'll start the procedure right away after you sign them. Hopefully we'll have her doing better within a few hours." She smiled and left Deacon to the forms.

After completing the forms he went back to Rayna's bedside.

"Hey, baby." He said as he took Rayna's hand and sat down.

"Another procedure today. I need you to be strong. I'm tryin like hell to do this, Ray. You're a hell of a lot stronger than me when it comes to dealing with this shit. I'm a damn basket case." He kissed her fingers a few times. Her hands were so swollen and her face so puffy looking.

Tandy came in as he sat with Rayna.

"How is she?" she asked worried seeing the deep lines furrowed in Deacon's forehead as he looked up

"Worse, the Doctor was just here. Kidney infection…bad one. Antibiotics aren't working…" he took a deep breath trying to maintain control

"So, what does that mean?" asked Tandy

"Another surgery. They'll be In to prep her soon. I was gonna call you as soon as I left her. You just missed the Doctor."

"What kind of surgery?"

"Tubes in her back to drain the infection out of her kidneys. I guess they're deep pockets of fluid. I don't remember the technical names she said…"

Tandy rubbed Deacon's back as he held his face in his hands in despair.

"She's gonna be fine. You are sis. Keep fighting. We're here." Tandy told Rayna as they waited for the prep team to take Rayna to surgery again.

Deacon and Tandy both went to the NICU to see Mason after Rayna was taken away for surgery. Deacon flipped out when Mason wasn't in his isolette. His nerves were frazzled. He couldn't handle anything else going wrong.

"WHERE THE HELL IS MY SON?" he barked at the first nurse to cross his path as Tandy tried to calm him down

"Deacon…let them explain before you freak out." Tandy tried as his face turned red

"I just started my shift, sir. I'm not sure. I'll find out. He wasn't on my list of infants to care for tonight."

Deacon was unraveling as the nurse scrambled both to get away from him, and find out where Mason was.

"YOU'D THINK THEY'D LET ME KNOW WHAT THE HELL THEY'RE DOING WITH MY KID." He yelled after the nurse left the room.

"FIRST THEY FUCK UP AND DIDN'T CATCH THAT RAYNA HAD AN INFECTION DAYS AGO BEFORE MASON WAS EVER BORN, AND NOW THIS?" he was ranting and poor Tandy was taking the brunt of it.

"What? What do you mean she had the infection days ago?"

"YEAH, THE MORNING BEFORE WE EVER WENT TO THE DAMN CABIN SHE HAD AN ULTRASOUND FOR BACK PAIN. THE DOCTOR SAID SHE WAS FINE! SHE WASN'T. SHE PROBABLY HAD THE KIDNEY INFECTION THEN."

"I didn't know that." Tandy seemed surprised. She knew they'd gone to see the Doctor , but neither had said anymore so she assumed all was good.

"SHE TOLD THE DAMN DOCTOR SHE HAD BACK PAIN A COUPLE WEEKS BEFORE THAT EVEN!"

"OK, Deacon you need to relax. I'm sure nothing was missed or done intentionally. I know you're stressed. Calm down..PLEASE!" Tandy begged knowing he was seconds from a melt down as his face reddened.

Several minutes passed. The nurse hadn't come back. Deacon slammed the door open and headed towards the information desk. Tandy was trying to stop him, but it was pointless. He was pissed with the lack of answers about Mason's whereabouts and the screw up with Rayna.

"WHERE IS MASON CLAYBOURNE?" he demanded as the woman behind the desk looked up

"My shift just started sir. Calm down. Let me look….. I'm sorry he's not listed as an NICU patient." She finally answered after checking her computer

"I JUST FED HIM HERE 3 HOURS AGO! HE'S 2 GODDAMN DAYS OLD. HE DIDN'T JUST WALK OUTTA HERE. SOMEBODY BETTER TELL ME WHERE MY KID IS NOW! WHAT THE HELL KINDA HOSPITAL MOVES A BABY OR TAKES THEM SOMEWHERE WITHOUT ASKING THE PARENTS?" Deacon was ranting again

"I'm sorry sir. We'll figure it out. It's 3pm. We just changed shifts. Apparently the previous shift didn't update us on your son."

"HELL OF A SYSTEM YOU GOT THERE. I WANT A SUPERVISOR NOW!"


	16. Chapter 16

"Mr. Claybourne. I'm Jessica Reed. I'm the Head hospital administrator here. Your son is fine. Better than fine actually. We've moved him out of NICU. He's in the regular nursery now. Apparently they tried to reach you, but you weren't in your own room, and calls to your cell went unanswered. They did it just before shift change and his information hadn't been updated in our systems yet. I'm VERY sorry for the mix up, but he's fine. He's just down the hall in the general nursery. He'll probably be released to go home tomorrow." A young well dressed woman explained to Deacon and Tandy apologetically over the mix up.

Deacon exhaled for the first time since seeing Mason's empty isolette.

"Thank you. I'm sorry I overreacted. It's been a very stressful couple days." Deacon said as he checked his pocket for his phone

"I don't have my damn phone. It's in my shirt pocket in my room. I need to get out of this damn gown and into my own clothes." He said relieve and a little embarrassed he'd thrown a fit for nothing.

"It's no problem. We're used to it. Tensions run high with sick kids and worried parents. Please let me know if there's anything else we can do?" the administrator said as she turned to go.

Deacon and Tandy walked down the hall to the general nursery. Mason was sound asleep in a regular crib. No wires or monitors. He was pink and plump. Sleeping peacefully as Deacon reached in to grab him.

"Hey, buddy. You gave daddy a scare." He cooed as he held Mason close, and the little boy snuggled closer to Deacon's scruff making little baby noises.

"I just fed him." A nurse told Deacon as he held Mason tight

"The NICU nurses said his daddy comes every few hours to feed him, but it had been almost 4 hours and he was getting pretty fussy. He's a big boy. He likes his meals on time." The nurse smiled

"I know. Sorry I'm late. There was a communication mix up with his transfer and I didn't know where to find him. Thanks for feeding him. I got the next one." Deacon said so overly relieved Mason was OK

"How about some Aunt Tandy snuggle time? I haven't got to hold him yet. I was a little afraid to ask when he had all the wires." Tandy said

"Sure. Here you go buddy. This is your aunt Tandy. She's gonna be the best aunt in the world. She takes good care of all of us." Deacon said as he handed Mason to Tandy

"Wow…what a chunk! He is a big one." Tandy smiled wide holding her first nephew

"I don't think Maddie was this big till at least 3 months, was she?"

"No, she was around 10 pounds at 3 months. About his size now." Deacon recalled Maddie's growth rate

"She was all mouth. So far he's fairly quiet. His cries are gentle and more relaxed. Seems to be a mellow guy so far." Deacon smiled brushing Mason's chubby cheek as Tandy swayed with him over her shoulder.

"Well for my sister's sake I hope he stays a mellow guy. She's got her hands full with YOU and Maddie in the temper department." Tandy laughed

"What are you implying?" Deacon asked smirking

"Oh I'm implying nothing. You and Maddie are cursed with the Claybourne temper. That is a fact. I love my niece, but she certainly got your temper." Tandy smirked back as she cuddled Mason closer

"He is so sweet. I wish Rayna could hold him." Tandy teared up a little

"She will, soon." Deacon swallowed a lump thinking about Rayna in surgery again

"We should probably head back and see if there's any news yet?" Deacon said taking Mason and gently kissing him before putting him back in the crib.

"Any news on Rayna Claybourne?" Deacon asked the woman behind the information counter in the waiting room.

"Yes, she'd in recovery. The doctor will be in to update you shortly." The woman behind the counter said after checking her computer.

"That was pretty quick." Deacon said as he and Tandy sat to wait for Doctor Finn.

"How are you feeling, Deacon?" Tandy finally asked as they waited.

"I'm fine. Persistent headache, but other than that, I'm OK."

"Have you talked to your doctor?"

"No, I keep missing him."

"Deacon, you really need to make sure you're OK. You're supposed to be lying in a hospital bed, and you're running around this place like a crazy man."

"I'll take care of myself when I know Rayna's OK."

"Promise? After we see the doctor you'll go back to your own room?"

"Yeah." He grudgingly agreed.

Doctor Finn arrived an hour later to update Deacon on Rayna's surgery.

"She's doing well. Things went fine. She'll be back in her ICU room shortly. I just want to make sure the tubes are draining properly first. Her fever is already breaking."

"So, no complications this time?" asked Deacon

"No, text book nephrostomy. She should start feeling a lot better within a few hours. We'll slowly back off the sedative. Hopefully by morning she'll be more alert."

"So if everything goes OK from here on out, How much longer will she need to stay here?" Deacon asked anxious to get Rayna home to recover.

"It's too soon to say, but if all goes well over the next couple days I'd say maybe a week. She'll be able to go home with restrictions, and no work for 8 to 12 weeks. She won't be able to lift more than 5 pounds for a while, and I don't want her lifting the baby."

"OK, thanks. Can I see her?" Deacon asked

"Sure, but not too long. She needs to rest."

After seeing Rayna Deacon was feeling a lot better. Her fever was breaking. She didn't seem as swollen and puffy looking. He gently kissed her forehead before getting up to leave.

"I'll be back soon, sweetie. I love you." He whispered as he bent to kiss her. Her eyes fluttered and she half smiled as he held her hand for a few seconds.

"I'm here too, Rayna. I got to hold Mason. You have the sweetest baby boy. I can't wait for you to meet him. We all love you." Tandy said holding Rayna's other hand

Deacon had been back in his own bed for an hour when Doctor Simms finally caught up with him.

"For a guy that's supposed to be lying in bed, you're awfully hard to track down!" the doctor said a bit irritated with Deacon for not staying in his bed.

"Sick wife and a new baby. Nothing's gonna keep me from seeing them."

"OK, well..I have good news. All of your tests look good. You did have a pretty serious seizure, but one in the 8 months since waking up from the coma isn't reason for medication. If they continue we may need to explore that."

"OK, so I'm fine? I can get the hell outta here?" Deacon asked

"Sure, I'll get your discharge papers ready. I do want you to keep track of headaches, dizziness, anything that's out of the ordinary. Anything that might trigger another seizure."

"I had a nightmare right before the seizure. I think it was a memory actually. I remember the accident. I watched my best friend die, and the truck rolled again after. I hit my head, before everything went dark."

"OK, well a traumatic memory may have been the trigger."

"How is your memory overall? Are you getting your life back?"

"I was workin on it, before all of this. I'm tryin to play guitar again, and go back to work in a few months. I'm still havin a hard time getting my fingers to do what my brain thinks they can."

"Keep doing the physical therapy and keep trying. If you really want it, you'll get it back. You were really very lucky. Your memory loss was minimal compared to most patients with serious head injuries, and you've come a long way already with physical recovery."

"I know. I have Rayna to thank for that. She kicked my ass every day early on when all I wanted to do was lay around and sulk about what I couldn't do. She made me get up, and didn't put up with my crap."

"She was pretty insistent last year that you were gonna wake up and be OK. She was right, even when I had doubts. You're a lucky guy. Congratulations on the new baby and I hope Rayna makes a full recovery. See you in about 6 weeks for follow up." Doctor Simms shook Deacon's hand as he left the room.

"Well…you're free. Now what?" asked Tandy as Deacon took off the hospital gown and replaced it with his favorite denim shirt.

"Gonna feed my boy, and I'd like to see my girls. Probably take a nap, a shower and come back to be with Ray tonight."

"OK, I'll take you to my place to see the girls after you feed Mace."

Mason's little face lit up when Deacon came back.

"Daddy's back." The nurse holding him said as Mason looked toward Deacon

"He's been waiting for you." She said as Deacon took Mason and his bottle.

"I'm sure it's just food he's looking forward to." Said Deacon as he sat to feed Mason

"The staff pediatrician saw him. Everything looks good. He's eating normally. His bodily functions are all good. His reflexes and vision are normal for an infant. He can go home in the morning." The nurse told Deacon

"Best news I've had all day!" Deacon beamed as he held a healthy Mason

"I got sprung too. I'm gonna be away from the hospital for a while, and then with my wife tonight. Probably won't make anymore feedings till morning. Sorry, buddy! I'm sure you guys can handle him?" Deacon asked

"He'll be fine. We'll see you tomorrow. Don't worry about him. I hope his mama gets well soon." She smiled as she took Mason back

"She's doin better. We'll all be home soon. Thanks." Deacon smiled as he left with Tandy

"Daddy…daddy…daddy!" a happy Scarlett and Maddie bounded into Deacon's arms the second he got in the door at Tandy's

"Where's mama and Mason?" asked Scarlett asked as Deacon sat to hug them on the couch

"I wanna see mama, and my brother!" Maddie demanded

"Soon. You'll see Mason tomorrow, but mama needs to stay at the hospital for a few more days, maybe a week."

"NO." Maddie whined

"Maddie, she had a touch delivery with your brother. I need you to please be a big girl. She's gonna need your help when she gets home, OK sweetie?"

"…but what about Mason's room daddy? We never fixed it. Now he's comin home."

"Soon, baby. I'll help you fix it soon. Mason will never know. I promise." He hugged Maddie tight sensing her guilt over the marker incident

"OK, daddy's tired, and I haven't had a shower in 3 days. I need to go. You both be extra good for Buck and Aunt Tandy. I'll be here tomorrow with your brother.

"I don't want you to go, daddy." Maddie continued to whine

"I know, sweetie. We'll all be together at home soon. I love you both." He said as he got up to leave

It felt so weird for Deacon to walk into an empty quiet, house. He was so used to Rayna and the girls being there for more than a year. As he climbed the stairs he realized Rayna probably wouldn't be able to for a while. He had a surprise in mind for her return home.

He showered and took a long nap, before returning to the hospital to sit with Rayna for the night. She was sleepy, but awake as he snuck past the nurses and into her room just before 11pm.

"Deacon." She weakly said and smiled

"Hey, look who's awake? How you feelin, baby?" he asked as he gently kissed her lips and sat holding her hand

"Really sore all over. Where's Mason?"

"He's doin good. He's in the hospital nursery, but he's fine. He gets to go home tomorrow. I'll bring him to see you before I take him to Tandy. He's a good boy, Ray. So gentle and quiet. Barely cries unless he's hungry. He does like to eat and gets a little demanding there. He's a big boy. 9 pounds, 6 ounces. I bet that really hurt. You did it…naturally."

"No wonder I feel like hell." She started to laugh, but it hurt

"You've had a couple surgeries, baby. An emergency hysterectomy to stop the bleeding after you gave birth. There were some complications. You lost a lot of blood. Earlier today you had a kidney surgery. You have an infection. That's why the tubes are inn your back, to drain the infection pockets from your kidneys. Doctor says you're doing good now. I'm sure it's gonna hurt and be sore for a while, but I'm not goin anywhere. I owe you that after you took such good care of me last year."

"What about you, Deacon? You scared the hell outta me at the cabin." She said with tears in her eyes

"I'm fine. Got released this morning. I had a seizure, but it's nothing to worry about. Tests are all good, and the doctor doesn't think it's gonna be a regular thing. You don't need to worry, sweetie. I remembered the accident. We'll talk about it sometime, but right now you need to rest."

"I love you." She said as her eyes fluttered closed again

"I love you more, baby." Deacon said as he kissed her hand and settled into the chair for the night

Rayna was sound asleep when Deacon woke the next morning. He quietly crept out of the room to pick up Mason.

She was still asleep when he came back with the sleeping baby boy in his carrier. He sat the carrier and diaper bad on the floor. He watched Mason and Rayna sleep peacefully for the next hour. Mason woke up demanding a bottle. After feeding and changing his first diaper as a new dad again, Deacon fell asleep with Mason on his chest.

"Can I hold him?" Deacon woke to Rayna smiling from her bed asking for Mason

"Sure, I'll set him next to you. The doctor doesn't want you lifting him yet. He's a chunk." Deacon put a sleepy Mason in Rayna's arms for the first time.

"He's perfect. I thought Maddie looked like you, Deacon, but he's the spitting image of you in baby form. I love you both so much." She said happy tears streaming down her face as Mason woke up and peered into her eyes with his deep blue eyes.


	17. Chapter 17

10 days later Rayna was released from the hospital to go home. She went home with restrictions. No lifting over 5 pounds for at least 4 weeks, which meant she wasn't able to pick Mason up. No work for at least 6-12 weeks depending on her healing. The hardest for Deacon was no sex for 6-12 weeks. The longest they'd gone since Maddie was around 2, and things had hit a rough patch on a bus tour between them.

Deacon understood that Rayna was very tender. She'd had a full hysterectomy. Plus she'd also had the added nephrostomy which left her back sore and painful where the tubes had been. He was doing his best to cope, and also deal with a still very emotional Rayna. The girls didn't really understand that Rayna was too sore for them to climb on her. Mason seemed to sense her sadness and prefer Deacon for feedings.

"You sure you're OK with all 3 of them alone?" Deacon asked about a week after Rayna got home as he was leaving for only long enough to pick up dinner and come back.

"I'll be fine." She said as Masons slept on the couch next to her and the girls played in their room upstairs.

"OK, call if you need anything. I'll be right back." He said as he leaned to kiss her

"Deacon, I think I can handle my children." She snapped and pulled away from his kiss

"OK." He said sadly as he left without a kiss

He was happy Rayna was home, and OK, but she was moody, emotional, and seemed distant with him. He figured it was just the pain and discomfort. She also hated not being able to care for Mason herself. He was normally a happy baby and rarely cried for Deacon. It was different with Rayna. Almost like he senses her sadness and felt the distance she seemed to be experiencing. Not seeing him his first few days of life had slowed the bonding process.

Mason would often cry, fuss and even refuse the bottle if Rayna tried to feed him. She was devastated to a point she'd almost given up even trying. He preferred Deacon. She was jealous of Deacon's bond with him. The girls irritated her easily. The tables had completely turned in the Claybourne household. After almost a year of Deacon being the moody one, It was now Rayna.

"What the hell's goin on in here?" Deacon barked as he came home with dinner to the girls making cookies alone in the kitchen, oven on. Mason screaming on the couch alone.

"YOU TWO KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TURN ON THE OVEN!" he yelled

"Mama said she didn't care what we did. Just leave her alone." Maddie told Deacon

"She did, huh?" he sniped as he turned the oven down from 500 degrees to 350

He put the take out food on the island and picked up a screaming Mason from the couch.

"It's OK, big guy. You just ate 45 minutes ago. Why so upset?" he cooed as he held Mason and calmed him down

He put Mason in his pack and play in the living room with a pacifier and went to find Rayna.

She was sobbing in the new master bedroom suite he'd had finished for downstairs in his old office. It was a surprise for her when she came home. They'd planned to do a pretty extensive remodel, but he went ahead and had the new master suite downstairs done so she wouldn't have to climb the stairs while she recovered. He'd asked Erica her PA to handle all the colors and bedding. Rayna loved it for about a day until depression set in.

"Rayna, what the hell?" he asked as he entered the bedroom

She didn't answer him, barely looking up.

"You know the girls had the oven on 500 degrees?" he snapped harsher than intended

"….did you hear Mason screaming?" he asked

"I leave for a damn half hour and come home to this? If they'd put those cookies in that oven they coulda started a fire."

"RAYNA, LOOK AT ME. DO YOU EVEN GIVE A SHIT WHAT THEY DO?" he was getting pissed. She seemed out of touch and didn't care that the oven had been on.

"RAYNA…JESUS…what if I'd been gone longer?"

"So I'm a rotten mother and not even capable of taking care of my kids." She sobbed

"Honey, I didn't say that, but you can't just lock yourself in here and ignore them when you're the only one here with them."

"I tried to get Mason to stop crying. He just screamed louder after you left. He hates me, Deacon." She sobbed, but wouldn't let Deacon hold her.

"Sweetie, he doesn't hate you. You'll bond with him. It's just hard right now since you can't really pick him up when he cries." He tried to reach for Rayna again, but again she pushed him away

"OK, no harm done. Everyone's fine. You wanna come have dinner?" he asked

"I'll eat later. I just wanna lay down for a while." She pulled the covers up around herself and turned away from Deacon.

He left the room feeling sad, but the kids needed dinner. He put Maddie and Scarlett's cookies in the oven and ate with the girls as Mason happily sucked his pacifier in the pack and play.

After cleaning up the dinner dishes he left the girls to decorate their cookies in the kitchen. Fed Mason and attempted to take Rayna a plate of chicken, beans, and her favorite flavored water.

"We feelin any better in here?" he asked pulling back the covers. Rayna quickly pulled them back around her.

"Brought you some dinner. You hungry?" he asked

"Just leave it on the night stand. I'll eat in a little while." She said without looking up

Not sure how to process this new distance between them he simply said "OK" and left her alone again.

The girls had decorated several dozen cookies. Some for Rayna.

"How do I spell…I love you mom?" asked Maddie as Deacon quickly helped her write it in red gel on a cookie for Rayna

Scarlett drew a heart on one for Rayna

Before taking the girls upstairs for their bedtime routine Deacon let them take the cookies to Rayna.

"Mama…we made you cookies!" the girls excitedly said as they showed Rayna the cookies

Rayna sat up and looked at them, setting them off on the night stand along with her dinner she hadn't touched.

"Don't you like them, mama?" Maddie asked sadly

"I love them. I'm just not hungry, baby." She said as Scarlett stood off to the side not sure how to process this new sad Rayna.

"Go to bed guys. Daddy will help you." Rayna told them wanting the kids to leave her alone.

"Aren't you gonna tuck us in?" Scarlett asked

"Not tonight." Was all Rayna said

"Go get your jammies on, brush your teeth and pick out a book. I'll be up in a minute guys." Deacon said as he ushered the girls out of the room and closed the door.

"Rayna?"

"What, Deacon? Just go put the kids to bed."

"They love you. They're trying to get through to you. You barely acknowledged the cookies."

"I said I loved them. What more do you want from me Deacon?"

"You said you loved the damn cookies. You coulda told your daughters you love them. Would a hug be too much to ask?" he snapped trying not to lose his temper after a week of this type of behavior from Rayna with both him and the kids.

"I don't know what you expect from me right now, Deacon. My insides have been ripped out. I feel like hell. I can't lift anything. My newborn son hates me. Just leave me the hell alone, OK?" she sniped

"FINE, RAYNA, WHATEVER!" he snapped back and slammed the door leaving Rayna alone to cry again.

Deacon read the girls a story, played a few guitar songs for them, and cleaned up the cookie mess in the kitchen.

Mason started to fuss in the pack and play. Deacon got a bottle and sat feeding him for a while thinking about things.

He was starting his Thursday nights at the Bluebird again next week. He was also going to start recording some of his songs for Belcort. Eventually he'd do a small venue van tour. In March he was going back to the opry as house band leader. He wasn't sure leaving the kids alone with Rayna was a good idea after the oven incident tonight, and the way she'd just left Mason alone on the couch to cry. He was to young to roll over yet, but eventually he would and could fall off.

Deacon finished feeding him, changed him, put his pajamas on him and settled him in the pack and play not far from their bedroom door. Mason was watching the lights on his mobile spin. He was such a happy good natured baby. Deacon couldn't figure out why he cried and fussed so much with Rayna.

He took a deep breath before opening the bedroom door. Rayna was still huddled under the covers with her back to him. She had picked at the chicken and drank half the flavored water. The girl's cookies were untouched.

"You done with this?" he asked about the food

"Yeah."

He took the food and cookies out to the garage garbage so the girls wouldn't see the uneaten cookies and be hurt.

He quietly got ready for bed, and slipped under the covers next to Rayna. He tried again to curl around her, kissing the back of her neck.

"You know I can't do that, Deacon!" Rayna said irritated he was even touching her

"I know that, Rayna. I wasn't gonna try. Can't I just hold you?" he asked

She didn't answer

"Ray…Have I said or done something to upset you?"

"No, I just …feel so empty both physically and emotionally." She admitted not bothering to look at him

"I love you, baby. Whatever you need me to say…I'll say it. Whatever you need me to do…I'll do it. Just please don't shut me out like this." He said on the verge of tears after a week of rejection. She'd barely kissed him since leaving the hospital, and pulled away quickly if she did.

"Deacon…I just…I can't OK. I can't even explain it. I'm not tired. I'm gonna go watch TV in the living room." She said getting up, pulling away from his grasp

"There's a TV right here, Ray. You won't bother me if you turn in on." He said offering her the remote

"What now you don't even wanna be in the same room with me?" he asked more hurt than before.

"I just need to be alone, OK. That's what I need from you right now." She said as she left the room


	18. Chapter 18

3 months had almost passed. Rayna continued to be distant with Deacon and the kids. Deacon was about to go out on a van tour playing small venues. His first trip out was only going to be a few days, but he knew he couldn't leave the kids alone with Rayna that long.

After a bedtime routine with the girls and Mason, He slipped into bed with Rayna. In the 3 months she'd been home she'd only bothered to put the girls to bed on the nights Deacon wasn't home. He'd made sure Tandy was always there so Rayna was never alone with the kids, which Rayna resented, but he felt he had no choice. Her thought process and emotional stability just didn't seem to be right.

He'd given up trying to touch her. She only pulled away and left the room if he really pushed the issue. He focused on the kids, and rebuilding his career. Seemingly living together but separate lives with Rayna. She really didn't seem to care, or even notice his hurt and anger.

He slipped under the sheets one March night. Rayna's back to him, like it had been every night since coming home from the hospital. He got up the courage to reach for her. He hadn't tried in weeks.

"I miss you." He gently whispered as he wrapped his arms around her

To his surprise she didn't push him away, but she didn't make an effort either.

"We need to talk." He finally said after holding her for several minutes

"About What, Deacon?" she asked irritated as she turned to face him.

"Well, that's an improvement. You're actually gonna face me?" he smiled

"What do we need to talk about?" she asked willing to talk for a change

"I'm leaving Friday for this van tour. I really think we need to hire a nanny to be here 24 hours a day while I'm gone." He said watching her eyes for reaction

"OK, fine with me." She said and rolled back over facing the wall

"That's it? You're not gonna argue?"

"What's there to argue about. You want a nanny. I said OK. Hire the damn nanny!"

"I thought you'd put up at least a little fight. You were always so adamant about not having a nanny when it was just Maddie."

"Well, things have changed." She sniped

"No shit." He sniped back losing patience with her distance and attitude.

"JESUS, DEACON! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME? YOU WANT A NANNY. I SAID OK. WHAT IS THERE TO ARGUE ABOUT?"

"Do you even wanna help interview or look for someone with me?" he asked

"I'm sure whoever you pick will be fine."

"OK, something else you have NO interest in." he snapped

"It's been almost 3 months Deacon. I'll be cleared to go back to work soon too. You're right. We need a nanny. We can't keep expecting Tandy and Bucky to drop whatever they're doing and take the kids."

"While we're fighting I might as well get this outta the way…Edgehill called. That new label head Jeff is a total ass."

"…and." Deacon asked

"He's gonna force all my contracts. He couldn't when I had a valid reason with you sick and being pregnant, but Mason's almost 3 months old. I'm only allowed 12 weeks legally for maternity leave, and then the contracts resume."

"ALL of them?" Deacon asked

"Yes, Deacon. ALL of them. Completion of my album. He wants the last two tracks for the dual album with Luke, and he wants the tour with Luke." She said not bothering to look at Deacon

"You're seriously thinkin about doin this?" he asked pissed off

"We do need the money, Deacon. Neither of us worked for almost a year. We have 2 houses. I had to re-mortgage this house last year when you were so sick just to keep us afloat. We have medical bills out the wazzoo for both of us, Scarlett and Mason. You bought that $50,000 truck. We've done remodel work on the house. You wanna do all this work at the cabin fixing the road. The girls are in that private school to the tune of $6000 each per semester."

"Wait…you re-mortgage this house without telling me?" he asked

"It was right after you came out of the coma. You weren't in any shape to deal with financial decisions. I took care of it." She sniped

"You still should have told me. I've been good for a while." He said upset she'd hidden it all this time

"Why didn't you tell me our finances were in trouble?" he asked pulling Rayna to look at him

"They're not. The re-mortgage kept us afloat. I'll pay it off with this tour, plus the other debts." She said pulling away to roll back towards the wall.

"with HIM?" Deacon snapped

"Deacon. Come on. I thought we were soo past that with everything that's happened in the past year."

"I don't wanna talk about it." He snapped knowing it was going to be a huge fight at some point.

"FINE. GREAT. SOMETHING WE AGREE ON. NIGHT." She said not bothering to look at him again.

Deacon layed awake seething most of the night. His frustration with Rayna was coming to a boiling point. He was doing his best to fight it. He knew she still struggled with some pain since surgery and having Mason. She was able to lift Mason now, but he still cried and fussed more often than not when she held him and preferred Deacon or anyone other than Rayna.

Deacon began searching for a nanny. After talking to friends and placing an ad he found Maria. She was a widow who'd lost her husband unexpectedly a year ago. Her own kids were grown. She was able to move into he and Rayna's old master suite upstairs and be a live in nanny when needed and go home when Deacon was at the house to care for the kids. Rayna wasn't the least bit interested in helping with the nanny search.

As he left for his first official van tour in years he felt better knowing Maria would be at the house to care for the kids. Rayna was better and at times OK with the kids now, but she still had bouts of depression where all she wanted to do was hide in bed ignoring everything including the kids. She didn't seem to care if she was alone with them. She'd often just let Mason cry if she couldn't comfort him.

"OK, C'mere and give daddy kisses." He said to the girls as he was leaving for the short tour

"When are you comin home?" asked a whiny Maddie

"It's only a few days this time. I'll be back Monday night."

"Where's my boy?" he asked taking Mason from Maria for hugs and kisses as the baby cooed and smiled at him.

"You guys be good for Maria. Call my cell anytime for any reason." He told Maria as he stepped onto the back porch to say goodbye to Rayna.

"What are you reading?" he asked as he approached Rayna

'Just some contracts and expectations from Jeff." She said unhappily

"Still bein an ass, huh?"

"Ass is an understatement with this guy." She sniped

"I'm sorry, baby. Things will get better. You know you don't have to stay with Edgehill?"

"…and what else can I do, Deacon? They own the rights to everything I've ever done. I'd have to start all over if I left. I wouldn't even have the right to sing my own songs in public anymore."

"I gotta go. The guys are waiting at the bus lot for me. We'll talk about it more when I get back, OK?"

She barely looked up from her paperwork

"Ray…I'm leaving for three days. Do I get a kiss or even a hug?" he asked sadly

"I'm sorry. He just has me so pissed off!" she said as she stood and let Deacon take her in his arms for a few minutes.

"I'm gonna miss you. How about a date night when I get back Monday? We haven't really spent any time alone together since the cabin right before Mason and everything went to hell." He asked hopeful

"Yeah, sure, OK." She replied with little interest

He leaned in for a kiss. He tried to deepen the kiss as he held her, but she pulled away. He was hoping maybe a date night alone would help them get back on track with each other. By the time he got home 12 weeks would have passed since the hysterectomy and Mason's birth. She would be cleared for sex again. Deacon was hopeful that if they could connect in the bedroom again everything else would fall back into place. He'd missed her. Her distance and moodiness was killing him. They'd always been so close, and this was all completely different than anything they'd been through.

"OK. I love you. See ya in a few days." He kissed her one last time and let her go

"Love you too." She replied with little interest as she went back to her reading.

The 3 days passed quickly. It was nice to be away from the house and the daily fights. Deacon missed Rayna and the kids, but the past 3 months had really worn him down emotionally.

Deacon sent Rayna roses on Sunday.

_Looking forward to date night_

…_and even more to late night fun_

_I've missed you_

Rayna was touched by the flowers, but she was apprehensive about resuming a physical relationship. She was still sore. She loved Deacon, but lately she just didn't seem to be attracted to him anymore. She knew she couldn't keep pushing him away. He was getting impatient with her. She felt bad. He was trying so hard to be patient and she barely wanted to even kiss him.

She decided to try even it meant faking it. He deserved her love and attention. He'd been amazing taking care of everything around the house and the kids since her surgery. She loved the kids, but she still didn't feel like she really connected with Mason.

Deacon arrived home Monday afternoon. The girls were in school and Maria had taken Mason to the park for a walk. Rayna had left him a note.

_Deacon,_

_I'll be home soon for date night. Working with Luke. We're playing the opry Tue night and needed some practice time. It's been a while. Welcome home. Hope the tour went well. See you soon. Thanks for the roses, baby._

_Love,_

_Rayna _

Deacon wasn't exactly happy to come home to find out Rayna was with Luke, but he was looking forward to date night and she seemed to be making more of an effort.

Maria came home with the girls and Mason before Rayna.

"Daddy….you're home! I've missed you soooo much." Maddie bounded into his arms as soon as she got in the house.

"I've missed you too, sweet girl."

"Are you staying home for a while?" asked Scarlett

"A few weeks before the next tour kiddo, but I have work while I'm home too."

"We'll spend some time together. I promise. How about a daddy daughter day next Saturday? Lunch and a movie with my girls?" he asked

"YAY…can we see Toy Story 2?" Maddie asked

"Anything you want." He hugged and kissed them both before reaching for Mason

"How's my big guy? You've grown in just the 3 days daddy's been away." He cuddled a now 3 month old Mason as the baby cooed and smiled at his daddy.

"I think he missed you." Said Maria

"How did things go?" he asked Maria

"Great with the kids." She said

"…and Rayna?"

"She was busy in the studio with that Luke Wheeler most of the time. I haven't seen her much since you left." Maria said as Deacon's mood darkened at the mention of Luke again.

Deacon was in a suit and ready when Rayna arrived home at 6:15pm.

"Ray…we have a 7pm reservation. I thought you said you'd be home for date night." He snapped a little more irritated than he intended

"I'll be ready in 15 minutes. We have time. Relax, Deacon." She said breezing through the house to the bedroom without even a hello or kiss.

Deacon had reserved the union room at the Kayne Prime steakhouse again. It had worked out well on New Year's Eve. It had been private and the meal was excellent as usual. They'd renewed their vows there just a few months ago. Deacon was hoping it would be a good place with good memories to rekindle their love and set the tone for a good night between them.

After Rayna's rush to get ready, once they sat down at the restaurant was the first chance they'd really had to talk since Deacon arrived home.

"How was the tour?" she asked

"Good, crowds were good. They seemed to like the new material."

"How was your weekend?" he asked still irritated about Luke but doing his best to control it and not show it.

"Really good. We finished the dual album, and Edghill scheduled us for the opry Tue. Guess we'll be onstage together again, babe." She smiled

"Yeah, yeah…it's been a long time." He tried to smile. He had resumed his house band leader role at the opry which meant he'd be Rayna's and Luke's guitarist tomorrow night.

They chatted through dinner. Things seemed to be going well. Maria had all the kids in bed by the time they got home and she was in the master suite upstairs sleeping. They were alone downstairs for the night.

They slipped into bed. Deacon wrapped his arms around Rayna.

"I've missed you so damn much, baby! 3 months is a long time." He dotted kisses along her neck and down to her breasts. He moved back up to her lips for a long deep kiss. He'd missed her lips.

Rayna wasn't as enthusiastic. She was trying, but she just wasn't into it, as Deacon did his best to kiss her all over and nibble her neck and ears like he always did. It used to drive her crazy wanting him, but now it wasn't doing anything for her.

"What's wrong, baby?" he whispered noticing she wasn't enjoying it

"I don't know, Deacon. I'm just having a hard time getting back into things I guess." She tried to kiss his lips, but it was a pretty lackluster attempt.

He slipped her panties off.

"Maybe I can help get the juices flowing." he said as he moved down slowly for some oral sex which also used to drive Rayna crazy, but now nothing

"Deacon, please stop." She asked in a serious tone

"You don't really want me to stop, do you?" he dotted kissed up her abdomen and around her neck eventually kissing her lips again.

She didn't kiss him back. He stopped and leaned back against his own pillow realizing she really meant stop.

"OK, if you're not ready, you're not ready." He said sadly as he rolled over to face the wall away from Rayna.

"I'm sorry, babe. I thought I could do it, but…" she trailed off as the tears started to fall

"Ray, please don't cry." Deacon softly said as he rolled back to face her

"Talk to me, please. What's wrong? Is it painful, or you just don't feel anything?" he asked

"I don't know. I just don't feel anything anymore. I have no desire to …." She was trying to figure out how to say she just wasn't attracted to him nicely.

"No desire…meaning what?" he asked

"You don't want sex, or you don't want…me?" he asked with such hurt In his eyes

"Deacon, I love you. I just…I'm not attracted to you in that way anymore. I don't know how to even begin to explain this. It's so weird for me." She said still crying

"I guess that explains why you've barely kissed me in months." He said voice cracking as he turned away from Rayna

They barely spoke the next morning as Maria made breakfast. Deacon ate and kissed the kids goodbye, ignoring Rayna.

He had rehearsals and needed to catch up with everyone before tonight's opry. He hadn't had a chance since he'd been away touring all weekend.

Deacon struggled as he watched Rayna and Luke get all touchy feely for the love songs they were singing together right in front of him onstage that night at the opry.

He didn't speak to Rayna as he drove home after the opry.

The house was quiet. The kids were asleep. Maria went home when Deacon and Rayna arrived home that night. Deacon didn't have anything going on until his Thursday night Bluebird gig so he'd take care of the kids for the next 2 days giving Maria time off.

Mason was sleeping in his pack and play just outside Deacon and Rayna's bedroom. He slept there when Maria was away, and upstairs in his nursery when she was spending the night.

Deacon hadn't said a word to Rayna since the night before when she'd told him she just wasn't attracted to him anymore.

"Deacon, I'm sorry." She whispered in the dark after they'd both slipped into bed

"I do love you." She started to cry

"…but what, Rayna? You just never plan to touch me again?" he said with so much hurt in his voice as they lay in the dark

"Are you still attracted to HIM?" Deacon asked anger building as he thought about Rayna onstage with Luke earlier.

She didn't say anything.

"ANSWER ME, RAYNA?" Deacon was losing his temper now

"Deacon, please, don't do this. I love you. I want you. I want to try and work through this." She said trying to kiss him

"It's a simple question, Ray. Are you still attracted to Luke?"

"No, Deacon. I WANT YOU!"

"You want me? You sure as hell haven't touched me in months the way you touched him on that stage tonight." He whispered on the verge of tears

"Deacon, you know it's all an act on that stage. It doesn't mean anything."

"Make love to me, right now, PLEASE Deacon?" she asked

"Why, Rayna?"

"Because I love you, and I want to try." She said crying again

"I'm sorry about last night. Please try, Deacon?" she begged

He had really missed her, and he wanted to try. He slowly took her in his arms for a deep passionate kiss, which she returned for the first time in months. He slowly removed her nightgown and panties lightly kissing her breasts and stomach. He moved back to her lips for another slow deep kiss that left them both breathless. He gently inserted himself and began slow gentle movement. It didn't take long before she winced in pain.

"What, are you OK?" he asked as she let out a painful cry

"Yeah, just a little tender. Keep going, sweet and gentle, Deacon." She asked

"I've missed you so goddamn much, Ray." He whispered as he continued slow gentle strokes, but she winced and cried out in pain again.

"I can't do this, Ray. You're obviously still hurting and tender inside. I'm not gonna hurt you like that." He stopped getting up and going to the shower alone.

He finished himself as he cried quietly in the shower. He felt horrible for being a jerk and making her feel guilty like she had to give him sex before she was ready. He leaned against the shower wall letting the water fall over him.

When he got out, Rayna was not in the bedroom. Mason was screaming his head off in the living room as Rayna tried unsuccessfully to give him a bottle as she cried over everything with Deacon.

"Mason, please, come on baby boy. Let me feed you." She was saying through tears as Deacon sat next to her on the couch leaving Mason on her lap, but trying to soothe him with gentle cooing and belly rubs.

"Just take him." Rayna said trying to hand a screaming Mason to Deacon

"No, Ray. You need to keep trying with him. It's never gonna get any better if you hand him to me everytime.

"Come on, Mace. Mama loves you. Take the bottle big guy?" Deacon cooed as he continued to rub Mason's chest and belly as he cried.

Deacon pulled both Rayna and Mason into a tight embrace. Rayna continued to hold Mason as Deacon took the bottle and gently got him to take it.

"Take the bottle from me, Ray. See he's taking it." Deacon held Rayna tight as Mason finally let her feed him without a fight.

Deacon stayed close to comfort Mason, but let Rayna finish the feeding and hold him tight for the burping as Deacon gently rubbed his little back.

Deacon held both Rayna and Mason tight for several hours as they sat and watched their baby boy sleep in Rayna's arms.

"Thank you, Deacon." She smiled and gently kissed Deacon for helping her and Mason start to bond.


	19. Chapter 19

Rayna and Deacon continued a feeding regimen with Mason over the next month. Rayna would start out trying to feed him. If he fussed and fought her, Deacon would get up and hold both of them until he settled down and allowed Rayna to feed and burp him. Slowly he started to allow Rayna to feed him without Deacon.

At 4 months Mason Claybourne was a happy healthy 21 pound boy. He'd continued to be a mellow baby, rarely crying. The only time he got demanding was meal time. He was starting to laugh, grab for things, almost roll over, and push himself on the hardwood floors by kicking his feet. He loved baths, and playing with his sisters.

Rayna was making an effort to be more attentive with Deacon. They hadn't tried sex again, but she was making a conscious effort to kiss him and show affection even when she didn't feel like it. She hated faking it, and sensed he knew. She loved him, but since the hysterectomy her emotions seemed to be on a roller coaster. Little things upset her. Big things sent her sobbing to her bed sometimes for days.

They were both working. Rayna was working on her newest album, and in the studio a couple days a week. Deacon was also working on a solo album for release. He had his opry, Bluebird, and short van tour gigs.

Edgehill and Jeff Fordham were really pushing for Rayna and Luke to kick off their dual tour by June. They had set a concert date at Bridgestone arena to gage sales. Of course it sold out within a day, which only made Jeff more determined to add more dates and push sales. Luke's Moonshine tour was wrapping up after 2 years on the road. He'd be back in Nashville full time until he and Rayna started their tour soon.

Once the dual tour had been announced the tabloids went nuts again with Rayna Luke rumors. One going as far as to suggest Mason was Luke and Rayna's love child. Rayna had taken Mason to a baby wellness check appointment with Doctor Finn. When she came out a TMZ photographer snapped the first public images of Mason as she carried him to the car.

She refused to comment, but the man got a close enough look and decent images of Mason. The following weeks tabloid read:

Did Rayna Jaymes and Luke Wheeler create love child?

Exclusive baby pics inside

Our photographer got the first public images of Mason Jaymes Claybourne last week. He is the first son for Rayna Jaymes and second child for the Queen of Country Music. Daughter Maddie is 6. Public birth records indicate Mason is 4 months old. You do the math. 13 to 14 months ago Jaymes was photographed leaving a prominent divorce attorney's office in downtown Nashville. Husband and former guitarist Deacon Claybourne took things a step further and actually filed to divorce the Queen of Country Music around the same time period. Just weeks later Claybourne was involved in a serious car accident which sources confirm left him fighting for his life and in a coma. The divorce was never finalized. Claybourne has since recovered and resumed his own music career. Around the same time period rumors and photos swirled indicating a budding romance between Jaymes and King of Country Music Luke Wheeler. Wheelers marriage to Stephanie Cannon ended in divorce last fall with a whopping $26 million settlement going to his ex wife. Jaymes and Wheeler gave a steamy performance onstage at the opry last month. Strangely, Jaymes's husband was also onstage as a guitarist for that performance. He seemed less than happy as his wife took the stage with Wheeler. While Mason carries the Claybourne name, with the timing, we can't help but wonder if he's actually a Wheeler. Jaymes and Claybourne were legally separated. Claybourne was supposedly in a coma. Doesn't seem there would have been any hanky panky going on between them around the time she got pregnant. Jaymes and Claybourne reps have refused to comment on the matter. Wheelers reps steadfastly deny paternity. Time will tell as Wheeler and Jaymes are set to begin touring soon. The first show takes place at Nashville's Bridgestone Arena in early June.

Deacon was gone for a week with his van tour in mid-May. Rayna was alone with all 3 kids. She was doing better with them and Maria had gone to visit her children and grandchildren out of state for a few days. Rayna was still a bit absent minded with the girls especially if she was pre-occupied with Mason, but Deacon felt she needed a chance to be alone with all 3 kids. He knew she was hurt that he didn't think she could handle her own children. He was doing his best to bridge all the gaps between them and get his wife back to herself.

Rayna was giving Mason his evening bath in the kitchen sink. He was happily splashing and playing with Rayna, all smiles, and now bonded with his mama.

"You're getting me soaked Mace." She laughed as Mason splashed water at her laughing like crazy as he flailed his little arms and kicked in the sink.

"Mama, what's love child mean?" asked Maddie from behind Rayna

"Where on earth did you hear that?" Rayna laughed as she lifted Mason from the sink and wrapped his little hooded bath robe around him to dry off.

"This magazine has a picture of you and Uncle Luke. It says love and child, and there are pictures of Mace inside."

"WHAT?" Rayna turned to see Maddie holding a tabloid

"Where did you get this?" Rayna said grabbing the magazine away from Maddie

"In Maria's room."

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN MARIA'S ROOM? YOU AND SCARLETT KNOW YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN THERE!" Rayna yelled as Maddie started to cry

"HOW DID YOU GET IN THERE, ANYWAY? IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE LOCKED." Rayna continued to yell

"Daddy's keys were on his night stand. Maria lets us in there. We look at magazines with her." Maddie sobbed not understanding why Rayna was so upset

"Go sit down on the couch. Where are the keys now?" Rayna asked

"On Maria's bed. Scarlett is still looking at magazines in there." Maddie continued to cry

"HOLD YOUR BROTHER! DON'T MOVE! YOU STAY ON THE COUCH WITH HIM!" Rayna yelled as she climbed the stairs, and padded down the hall to Maria's master suite.

"SCARLETT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?" Rayna yelled as Scarlett's bottom lip began to quiver

"Just looking at magazines. We do it all the time with Maria." She softy said lip still quivering at Rayna's anger

"YOU AND MADDIE BOTH KNOW WHEN MARIA IS NOT HERE, YOU ARE NOT TO BE IN THIS ROOM!"

"I'm sorry, mama." Tears were falling now as Scarlett apologized

"GO TO YOUR ROOM! IT'S TIME FOR BED!"

Rayna grabbed Deacon's keys. She wasn't sure where all the magazines belonged so she left them spread on the bed. She wasn't sure if Maria had left them out or if the girls had dragged them out. She wasn't about to go through Maria's drawers and personal items. She was tempted because Maria had a large collection of tabloids spread all over the bed. Rayna and Deacon had always done their best to shield the kids from the tabloids and cameras. Rayna was furious Maria had brought it all into their home.

Once Maria moved in, they had basically given her the master suite. As a live in nanny, she had the same rights as a tenant renting an apartment. She was allowed to come and go as she pleased. She had access to the entire house with the exception of the studio, their shared office, and Rayna and Deacon's bedroom. They had given her a key, and told her to lock the room when she wasn't staying at the house. She valued her privacy, and they wanted her to feel like she had a place of her own within the house. Still close to the kids, but private. They were not to enter without her permission unless it was an emergency.

They had requested she sign non-disclosure agreements, and not divulge any information to anyone about them, the kids, or their household. She was generously rewarded with a beautiful master suite to call her own. They paid for redecorating and bedding to her liking. She was welcome to stay all the time if she wanted, but she had chosen to also keep her own home outside the Claybourne residence. She was paid well, and given lenient time off whenever she requested. They had also bought her a mini van to transport the kids, but allowed her to use it as her own even when not working. She didn't own her own car so she drove it often, including taking it to see her kids and grandkids out of state. Deacon and Rayna paid for all gas and maintenance on the van.

Scarlett was crying on her bed as Rayna turned off the lights and locked Maria's room.

"Get your pajamas on, brush your teeth, and go to bed." Rayna said as she passed the girls room headed back downstairs

Rayna took Mason from Maddie

"Get your pajamas on, brush your teeth, and go to bed." She also told Maddie

"…but WHY, mama?" Maddie always the difficult child protested

"…because you know better than to steal daddy's keys, and go into Maria's room. It was locked for a reason. That means YOU STAY OUT!" she yelled

"…but I didn't get to watch TV, and you haven't read us a story." Maddie continued to protest

"YOU'RE IN TROUBLE! YOU'RE NOT WATCHING TV, AND YOU'RE NOT GETTING A STORY. GO TO BED, NOW!"

"NO, I WANT DADDY!"

"DADDY IS NOT HERE. GO TO YOUR ROOM, NOW. DO YOU WANNA MAKE THIS WORSE?"

"HE SAID I CAN CALL HIM ANYTIME!" Maddie yelled

"You can call him tomorrow, and tell him what you did. He's onstage right now." Rayna tried to calm down knowing Maddie loved to fight and yelling only seemed provoke her more.

Mason began to wail in Rayna's arms upset by all the yelling

"You've upset your brother. Go to bed now!"

"NOOOOOO…MAMAAAAA….I WANT DADDDYYYYY!" Maddie also began to wail

Rayna was losing it with both of them screaming. She needed a few minutes alone to collect herself. She put a screaming Mason in his pack and play. Went to her bedroom, and slammed the door.

Maddie grabbed Rayna's cell from the kitchen table and tried to call Deacon 14 times. He had his phone silenced in his pocket onstage. His show had just begun. It would be 2 or 3 hours before he'd see the missed calls, and hear Maddie's incoherent crying messages.

Rayna was only in the bedroom 15 minutes before collecting herself enough to deal with Maddie again.

She came out. Maddie had picked Mason up and was soothing him on the couch. He was smiling and happy again in his sister's arms.

Rayna was mad at Maddie, but couldn't help but smile seeing her two kids together and Maddie taking such good care of Mason.

"Thank you, baby, for taking care of him. You're a good big sister. Let's get you to bed. I'll read you a story for taking such good care of your brother." Rayna said softening as she took Mason and led Maddie upstairs

Rayna fell asleep in the chair next to the girl's bed after reading to them. She had Mason on her chest. She only woke up because he had peed on her. She hadn't put a diaper back on him after his bath. He was still in his little hooded bathrobe. She quickly took a sleeping Mason downstairs, diapered him, and put his pajamas on him before settling him in the pack and play for the night.

She went to change into one of Deacon's old T shirts and sweats to get comfortable herself. It was after midnight. She came out of her bedroom to her phone ringing. It wasn't on the table where shed left it. By the time she located it, the ringing had stopped. 6 missed calls from Deacon in the last 30 minutes, and one frantic message.

"RAYNA! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON THERE? I'VE HAD 14 MISSED CALLS AND MADDIE CRYING THROUGH MESSAGES. CALL ME BACK NOW!" His voice had such alarm and worry. She quickly called him back.

Deacon was frantic. He'd pulled his phone from his pocket after signing a few autographs. He quickly ditched the fans after seeing 14 missed calls from Rayna's phone. He became more frantic after listening to several tearful messages from Maddie.

He was a good 17 hours away by car, and he'd already called the airport to check for flights home. There wasn't one till late tomorrow morning. With nothing to do but sit in his hotel and worry he was going crazy knowing Rayna was alone with all 3 kids for the first time since Mason's birth.

He quickly answered when his phone rang

"Hey…I'm sorry I fell asleep reading to the girls. My phone was downstairs. I just got your message." Rayna tried to smooth things over quickly.

"What the hell, Rayna?" he said breathlessly

"We're fine. Relax, Deacon. Maddie had a tantrum. I didn't know she had my phone." She tried to calm him down. His voice told her he was worried and scared to death.

"So, everything's OK?" he finally took a deep breath

"Yes, babe. I'm sorry she scared you."

"Oh…Jesus Christ, Rayna! She called 14 times and left 6 messages. I didn't notice till 2 hours later. When I couldn't get you to answer I panicked. I'm about to have a goddamn heart attack." He finally relaxed and sat down. He'd been pacing frantically.

"Call your sister. I left her a message. She hasn't called back." He said still trying to relax

"She's in New York on that business trip with daddy." Rayna reminded him

"How was your show?" Rayna asked trying to change the subject. She didn't want to go into detail about the tabloid that started the whole chain of events. Luke was a very touchy subject. She knew they would need to deal with Maria, but she was planning to do that before Deacon got home.

"Good. Good. Great crowd response. They love the new songs. Asking for autographs after the show."

"I was havin a damn good night till I checked my phone."

"I'm so sorry, Deacon. She threw a fit. Mason was screaming too. I had a little lapse. I just needed 15 minutes away from them. I'm sorry she called you." Rayna was crying now sorry to disappoint him the first time he'd left her alone with the kids, and no nanny.

"Ray, it's OK. I know Maddie can be difficult. I'm just glad you're all OK. I'm sorry I'm not there. I miss you, baby." He said trying to reassure her that he wasn't mad and still trusted her with the kids.

"I miss you too, Deacon. I love you sooo much! Thank you for being the patient, kind man you are. I know I've made your life hell the past few months. I'm sorry." She said crying as hormones took over

"Ray, come on. Don't cry, sweetheart. I hate that I'm not there to hold you."

"Me too, Deacon. I'd love to be in your arms now." She cried harder. For the first time in months she was craving Deacon's touch. She missed him.

"Really?" he said tearing up. It had been so long since she seemed to want him.

"I'll be home in a few days. I can't wait to hold you. Kiss the kids for me. I'll call you tomorrow night. I love you, Ray." He said as he hung up thankful things were OK, but also happy Rayna seemed to really miss him and want him home. The last couple times out she'd been pretty distant during their calls, and didn't really seem to care when or if he came home.

Maria arrived back at the Claybourne house the next afternoon. Rayna sent the girls upstairs and Mason was napping. Maria preferred to deal with Deacon on all employment issues. She felt intimidated by Rayna, and knew Rayna was more direct and to the point in business matters where Deacon was more personable and warm.

Maria really didn't care much for Rayna especially early on when Rayna seemed completely detached from the kids and didn't even want to hold Mason. Maria wasn't aware of Rayna's hysterectomy and the long term effects. She'd heard Rayna and Deacon fight on more than one occasion and really didn't understand why Deacon even stayed with Rayna.

He seemed like such a gentle loving guy, although she knew he had a dark side and a temper. Living with them she'd seen that too. He just had a devotion to Rayna, Maria didn't understand. She just chalked it up to opposites attract, and avoided Rayna as much as possible, but now Deacon wasn't there. She had to deal with Rayna alone.

"We need to have a little chat, Maria." Rayna said as Maria started up the stairs to her room

"Oh...what about Mrs. Claybourne?"

"Come in the kitchen and sit down, please?" Rayna said as Maria obeyed

"Did you have a nice visit with your family?" Rayna asked

"Yes, very nice. I'm really very tired, after the drive. What is it you need to talk to me about?" Maria asked not wanting to make small talk or deal with Rayna longer than needed.

"The girls got a hold of my husband's keys. I'm afraid they got into your room while you were away. I'm very sorry. If anything is broken or missing, please let us know. We'll replace it immediately. I promise this will never happen again. We know you value your privacy, and want you to feel like you have your own space here."

"However, that's not my main issue. The girls got a hold of several tabloid magazines. Maria, Deacon and I have always done everything in our power to shield the kids from rumors. What you do in your room is your business, and what you read is your business, but Maddie saw this." Rayna pulled out the tabloid Maddie had asked her about

"We don't want this kind of thing in our home. I'd really appreciate it if you'd remove all of this type of material from our home."

"Sooo let me understand this. You weren't watching the girls as usual. They got keys, and entered my locked room. Somehow it's my fault you can't take care of your own children for a few days?" she asked irritated that Rayna was chastising her when she clearly wasn't watching the kids and allowed them into the room."

"Maria, this really isn't how I wanted this to go. I'm simply asking that you remove all of this tabloid material from our home so the kids don't accidentally see it again."

"Do you really think they won't see it of you keep it out of your home? It's on every supermarket shelf. You can't shield them from this forever."

"I understand that, but they are only 6 years old right now. They don't understand that these are hurtful lies. I don't want them thinking any of this is true."

"They can hear you fighting Mrs. Claybourne. When they're older they'll understand what it's about, and figure it out for themselves what's true and what's not."

"Maria, I really don' think my relationship with Deacon is any of your concern, and remember you signed a NDA. Anything you've hear inside this house is off limits."

"You know Mrs. Claybourne how you raise your kids is none of my concern. What you do with your husband or anyone else for that matter also is none of my concern. I'm sure raising kids in the spotlight with cameras always rolling and paparazzi always lurking poses challenges my husband and I never had to face. However inside our home Roy and I NEVER fought in front of the kids or within earshot of our children the way you do. I care about your kids. You and your husband need to take a really good look at how you're raising them, and what you yourselves are subjecting them to."

Rayna wasn't sure what to say. She hadn't realized Maria had heard the fights between her and Deacon, and pretty much knew the tabloid stories weren't that far off the truth, with a few added lies of course, but overall they had some accuracy.

"OK, Maria…I think that's enough. This conversation is over. Please remove the tabloids from our home." Rayna said not wanting to discuss her marriage any further.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Claybourne, but I can't continue to work here. Our value systems about marriage, and raising children are too different. I've been thinking about it for a while. I stayed because I feel bad for your husband. He's a devoted man, and you're lucky he's still here. I'll be out of here within an hour. I just need to pack a few things, and call a cab. Can I say goodbye to the children before I go?"

"Yes, they care about you. They're going to miss you. This wasn't how I wanted this to go. Would you please reconsider?" Rayna asked suddenly aware of what was happening

"I don't think so. Please tell Deacon, I'm sorry."

20 minutes later Maria was holding Mason crying. She'd said goodbye to the girls. They were upset and crying. She placed Mason back in his pack and play. Gave Rayna all the house keys and van keys, and got in the cab waiting in the driveway.

Rayna changed all the security system codes, and notified the neighborhood security team than Maria was no longer employed with them and her access to the gated community had been removed.

The next night Rayna fell asleep feeding Mason on the couch. She awoke to the doorbell and fear ran though her. It wasn't often that unexpected people got to the doorbell. The neighborhood was pretty secure. The last time she remembered waking to the doorbell was the morning the police told her Deacon might be dead.

This time it was Deacon at the door.

"What the hell's wrong with the alarm system? My damn code isn't working to unlock the house. Why's the van in the driveway? Something wrong with it? Maria's not here tonight, right?" Deacon asked several questions confused by the code not working and the van since it was Maria's night off.

Rayna had went to put a sleeping Mason in his pack and play as Deacon followed hurling questions.

Rayna turned to face him wrapping her arms around him willingly and on her own. She was making the first move. She really had missed him and was ready to try again in the bedroom.

She planted a deep lingering kiss on his lips and nibbled his neck unbuttoning his shirt to kiss his chest.

"I've missed you too, baby." He smiled wide kissing her back, dropping his suitcase and guitar on the hallway floor with a thud surprised she was being so aggressive.

With his hands now free he pulled her into his arms, carrying her to the bedroom. He quickly undressed her as they aggressively kissed and nibbled on each other.

"Are you sure, Ray?" he asked as he stripped off his own clothes and boots.

"Make love to me, Deacon. I want you so much right now. I've missed you." She begged

Deacon gently inserted himself and began a slow, gentle rhythm carefully watching Rayna for any sign of pain or discomfort.

"A little rougher, Deacon." She whispered breathily as she nibbled his ear

He deepened the thrusts still carefully watching her. He wasn't about to hurt her again. He hated that he had 6 weeks ago.

He finished and collapsed against her, both sweating, and trying to catch their breath after over an hour of pretty aggressive love making.

"I should leave more often." he said when he finally caught his breath and was able to speak

"I don't think so." Rayna smiled and tightened her grip around him

"Somebody miss me?" he smirked and kissed her again just to make sure he wasn't imagining it.

She wrapped her arms around him tighter and fell asleep with her head on his bare chest. She hadn't done that since the night she went into labor at the cabin 4 ½ months ago.

He watched her sleep for several minutes. He was tired from traveling and his amazing welcome home gift. He gently kissed her forehead and whispered.

"I'm glad you're back, baby. I love you." As he drifted into a deep sleep with her in his arms


	20. Chapter 20

Deacon woke early the following morning to his favorite sounds in the world. The kids and Rayna were chattering away in the kitchen as Rayna got the girls ready for school. Mason was in his walker watching and giggling as he threw his toys on the floor repeatedly for the girls or Rayna to pick up.

Deacon had come home a couple nights early. He believed Rayna had everything under control, but Maddie's calls had shaken him a little. Rayna's surprise welcome home had taken precedence over everything, and he had been exhausted after renting a car, and driving 17 hours to get home. He and Rayna really hadn't talked yet as he entered the kitchen sleepily after only a few hours of sleep.

"Daddy…daddy….." both girls screamed surprised he was there. Rayna didn't want them to wake Deacon. She didn't tell them he was home.

"You're not supposed to be home yet, daddy." Scarlett said as she pointed to the calendar they crossed off days on showing when he'd be back.

"See…2 more X's."

"What if I missed my girls? Can't I come home a couple X's early?" he asked scooping her into his arms for kisses and scruff snuggles as she squealed

Deacon picked up several of Mason's toys from the kitchen floor, laying them on his walker tray, and softly rubbed Mason's head, as the little boy quickly threw everything on the floor again for Deacon to pick up.

"New game?" Deacon asked after picking up the toys 3 times, kissing and snuggling a laughing Mason each time.

"He changes so much even just bein away a few days. He's laughing a lot more than last week." Deacon seemed a little sad realizing how much he was missing with Mason.

"He's still little. There's so much more ahead." Rayna said as she wrapped her arms around Deacon as he watched Mason play and laugh.

"I know. It's just different. I wasn't really ever away from Maddie until now. The one time we did go out, it was together as a family on that bus tour." Deacon recalled the horrible attempt he and Rayna tried at touring when Maddie was a toddler.

"…and we almost ended up divorced by the time it was over." Rayna laughed and kissed Deacon's cheek.

"You never woulda really left me, would ya?" Deacon whispered as he leaned in for a long, deep morning kiss

"Eeeewwwww…they're back to kissing again." Maddie scowled

"I like it when they kiss, and don't fight." Scarlett said as she wrapped her arms around Deacon's waist

"OK, go get your bags upstairs. Time for school." Rayna said as she grabbed her purse and keys off the island.

"Not so fast. Thanks for last night, and this morning." Deacon whispered as he pulled Rayna back to him and leaned in for another long, deep morning kiss. She pulled away as the girls came back down the stairs.

"What are we doin after school, daddy?" asked Maddie

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I won't be here. I've got a gig in Memphis tonight. I had some time to sneak home, but I've gotta meet the guys for sound check at 5. I gotta leave before you get home."

"NOOOOO! YOU JUST GOT HOME! IT'S NOT FAIR!" Maddie started to whine

"I know, baby. It's a couple more days, and I'll be home for a few weeks. We'll do something special, OK?" Deacon scooped Maddie into his arms for kisses and scruff snuggles to diffuse the tantrum that was coming.

"STOP, DAD!" she demanded

"Maddie! Have I ever lied to you? I said I'll be here in a couple days." Deacon sternly tried as Maddie's temper took over.

"THIS IS JUST LIKE IT USED TO BE WITH MAMA! YOU KEEP LEAVING, AND IT KEEPS GETTING LONGER AND LONGER. YOU'LL START LYING ABOUT COMING HOME TOO." Maddie snapped as she squired away from Deacon and slammed the garage door on her way out to Rayna's car.

"Scarlett, would you do daddy a favor, please? Go get my keys, phone, and wallet on my nightstand."

"Deacon, What are you…."

"I'll take em to school, Ray. She's pissed at me. You shouldn't have to deal with it. I got this."

"Don't you wanna get dressed?" Rayna asked

"Why? You'll just have to undress me when I get back." He smirked as Scarlett handed him his keys, phone, and wallet.

"Thank you, Scar. Go get in mama's car with Maddie. I'll be right there."

"We're not takin your truck?" Scarlett asked

"Nope, I'm not gonna fight with your sister to switch cars…and Scar, shhhh…don't tell Maddie I'm taking you. Just get in and leave her alone, OK?" Deacon asked as Scarlett as she opened the garage door.

"OK, daddy."

"So, you're going to Memphis tonight?" asked Rayna

"Yeah, sorry. We haven't really had a chance to talk. I snuck away, rented a car yesterday, drove the 17 hrs. I missed you, and you seemed to miss me for once. After last night, I sure as hell don't regret it." Deacon said brushing Rayna's hair away from her cheek and looking into her eyes.

"Me neither. I'm glad you're here, even if it's only for 12 hours."

"Come with me, Ray…to Memphis? I'd love to have you at the show, and we can stay at the Peabody tonight. Come on baby, Please? We could use a little road trip alone together."

"What about the kids, Deacon?"

"Maria will be here tonight, won't she?"

"uuuhhhhhhh….not exactly. We need to talk about Maria, Deacon."

"What, why?"

"The girls are late. Take them to school. I'll explain when you get back." Rayna said ushering a T shirt, sweat pants, and slippers only Deacon out to the garage.

"You sure you wanna take them in your slippers, and sweats?" Rayna laughed as Deacon climbed behind the wheel of her Escalade, and slipped on a pair of her sunglasses from the dash.

"Oh, that's attractive, Deke. Your pajamas and women's sunglasses. The girls aren't gonna wanna be seen with you like that in a few years."

"Me..I'm always gonna be the cool dad!" he laughed

"You're the coolest, daddy." Scarlett agreed as Maddie scowled behind him

"WHY'S MAMA NOT TAKING US?" Maddie demanded as Deacon started the car and backed out of the garage, ignoring her whining. He turned the radio on loud enough to drown her whining, like he'd done since she was little at times when he didn't feel like listening to a tantrum.

Deacon pulled up in front of the girls private school just in time for class. Maddie had been pouting in the backseat with her arms crossed over her chest the entire 6 mile drive across town. Scarlett hugged and kissed Deacon from behind as she climbed out.

"Love you, daddy. See you in a couple days." She said as she bounded out and skipped into school

Deacon grabbed Maddie's shirt and pulled her back as she tried to exit without saying goodbye to him.

"Climb up here, Maddie?" Deacon asked as she continued to scowl at him in the rearview mirror

"LET ME OUT, DAD. I'M LATE." She yelled

"Alright, I'll take care of that." He said grabbing his cell from the console

"Yes, this is Deacon Claybourne. My daughter Maddie is running a little late today. I'll drop her off in an hour or so. Can you please let Mrs. Swanson 1st grade know. Thank you." He flipped his phone closed and tossed it back into the console.

"THERE, NOW YOUR MORNING IS MINE! CLIMB UP HERE, PLEASE?" he asked a lot more forceful this time.

Maddie grudgingly climbed into the front seat next to him and slumped in the passenger seat arms crossed again.

"Put your seat belt on." He requested as he pulled away from the school

Deacon realized he hadn't had his morning coffee and pulled into a McDonalds drive through. He ordered his coffee and a hot chocolate for Maddie.

"Here you go, baby girl. You still love hot chocolate, right?" he asked as she took the cup

He drove to the downtown riverfront and parked the truck.

"Maddie, This attitude of yours is getting really old. I'm tired of these yelling matches you seem to put me and your mother through whenever you don't get your way.

You scared the hell outta me when you called my phone 14 TIMES the other night."

"YOU SAID I COULD CALL ANYTIME." Maddie started to cry in frustration

"….and you can, sweetheart. Anytime you REALLY need me, you can call. I'll answer, or call back soon."

"…but that doesn't mean just because you're mad at mom you can call that many times. I was in the middle of a show. Do you know how worried I was when I saw all those missed calls? I thought something was wrong with one of you girls, or mom, or the baby."

"I'm sorry, daddy."

"It's OK. I want you to call when you need me, but honey if I don't answer, leave me one message telling me what's going on. I promise I'll call back, OK?"

"OK." Maddie quietly said sipping hot chocolate.

"…and the attitude. I know you get frustrated. You get that from me. Poor kid. You got my temper. I know how hard it is to control when you get mad, but you need to try."

"…but you promised that day we went out alone, all day together, that we'd do it again. You lied, daddy. We didn't." she said through sobs making Deacon feel horrible

"…and now you're touring like mom used to, and you're gone all the time. She always said she'd be home for stuff, and then didn't come." She continued to sob

"You're right, baby. I did promise more daddy/daughter days. We'll do it, OK? Things just got crazy after the baby came and mama got sick. I didn't mean to lie to you."

"Is that why you're so upset?" Deacon asked

"Yeah, sometimes." She sniffled

"Alright, I probably should get you to school. We good? You feel better now that we talked?" Deacon asked wiping her tears away with his thumb

Maddie was quiet as Deacon drove her back to school. He pulled up in front of the private school more than an hour after the regular start time. He barely had the Escalade in park when she threw her arms around his neck sobbing.

"I miss you, daddy. Do you have to go to Memphis?"

"Yeah, Maddie. I do. I have a show. People bought tickets, but it's only a couple days. I'll be back by the weekend. We'll do something Saturday. Maybe just you, me, and Scarlett will go to a movie and get a pizza. How's that sound?"

"OK, I love you, dad." She said as she opened the door to go

"Love you too. See you in a couple days. You be good, and you can call me anytime if you need me, or if you just need to talk. Just call once, leave one message. I promise that's enough. I'll call back."

Rayna was asleep in the recliner with Mason on her chest when Deacon got home. He gently picked up Mason and placed him in the pack and play. He leaned over Rayna waking her with gentle kisses on the lips and down her chest. She woke wrapping her arms around his neck as lifted her and carried her to the bedroom for a mid-morning love making session.

They'd both missed those. Before Scarlett, and before Mason when Maddie was in pre-school on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoons they'd often write together and end up making love on the floor of their home studio. The past year and a half had been tough on both of them, and their relationship. Things finally seemed to be getting back on track, but with two busy careers it wasn't going to be easy, and there was still the Maria issue Deacon was unaware of.

"I called Tandy. She's gonna come take Mason, and pick the girls up from school later. She'll keep them for a couple days. Yes, I'd love to go to Memphis with you Deacon." Rayna said as she layed in Deacons arms.

"Really? I'm glad you're going. Would you sing with me tonight? You can hide out backstage until towards the end. We'll keep it low key so we don't cause a stir." He asked hopeful she'd agree. He missed singing with Rayna.

"Sure, babe. Looking forward to it." She smiled because it seemed to take so little to make Deacon happy.

"How was Maddie on the drive to school?"

"I dropped Scarlett off, and took Maddie to the riverfront for a daddy/daughter heart to heart. She's better. She just lets things build up and then she blows ya know?"

"hmmmm…can't imagine WHERE she gets that?" Rayna laughed

"Yeah, alright I know. Poor kids too goddamn much like her old man."

"She was upset I hadn't spent any alone time with her since Mason. That's my fault. I told her I wasn't happy about the 14 calls to my cell the other night. I think she understands that one is plenty now."

"Thank you, babe, for being such a sweet, caring, considerate father. As difficult as Maddie can be you've really tried to see things from her point of view and help her work through things. She's been so much better since right after Christmas when you two finally had it out."

"I know. I'm pretty damn amazing." He laughed as Rayna smacked his bare chest jokingly

"So, why does Tandy need to take the kids? What the hell happened with Maria?"

Rayna sighed. Deacon was in such a great mood, even Maddie's tantrum had barely phased him. She really didn't want to bring up Luke and the tabloid, and the girls seeing it. The fact that they no longer had a nanny was going to be an issue too. The dual tour with Luke was starting in a few weeks. The last thing Rayna wanted to do now was set Deacon off on another Luke tangent.


	21. Chapter 21

The tabloid was in pieces on the bedroom floor. Rayna's suitcase for Memphis was open and empty on the bed. She hadn't bothered to start packing after Deacon slammed the bathroom door.

"So much for a great night, followed by a great morning." She sighed again as she shoved the suitcase aside.

"No point packing now." She thought as she listened to Mason cry, hoping he'd go back to sleep, but his cries were only getting louder.

The slamming bathroom door woke Mason from his late morning nap. He was hungry and screaming as Rayna lifted him from the pack and play. Rayna had just started him on jarred baby food. She placed him in the highchair, poured herself a cup of coffee and sat down to feed her son.

"Strained peas today, buddy. Let's try these." She said as she lifted a spoonful of green glop to his little lips. He wasn't impressed as his little face twisted with a sour expression and peas dribbled down his bib.

"C'mon Mace. Try some more." She coaxed putting another spoonful to his lips. He refused to even open his mouth, and began screaming again.

"OK, no peas." She said frustrated. Doctor Finn had told her to begin solids, but so far Mason didn't seem to care for anything she tried. Formula wasn't keeping him full anymore, and he was usually fussing again within an hour of eating, still hungry.

"How about sweet potatoes? What do you think?" she asked Mason as he watched her open the jar. Again the sour face, and he began to fuss, refusing more sweat potato, as the last spoonful dribbled down his chin.

"How about cereal? We haven't tried that yet." She asked Mason as she grabbed a box of dry flakes from the pantry and began mixing with warm water as Mason fussed louder in hunger.

"Try this." She coaxed placing a spoonful of cereal to his lips. Rayna got her hopes up. He didn't immediately spit the cereal out. She tried another bite. Out it came, as Mason began to scream his head off in hunger.

"I don't know what to do with you, baby boy! You don't like anything I try. Formula's not enough anymore. Your daddy's being a jerk! Mama can't take much more right now." Rayna began to sob at the kitchen island as Mason continued to scream.

She was still struggling with hormonal and emotional imbalances since her hysterectomy. Her moods swings were crazy at times. In the last 10 hours she'd gone from extremely happy, feeling like she really wanted Deacon and sex again, happy about the Memphis trip, back to feeling hopeless, helpless, and distant from Deacon.

"I should have just kept my mouth shut about the damn tabloid." She thought as she sobbed and replayed the fight with Deacon over and over in her mind.

"How did they get the magazine?" Deacon had asked pointedly

"I was busy giving Mason a bath. They got YOUR keys DEACON! Maybe YOU need to think about keeping things where they can't get them."

"OH YOU'RE GONNA BLAME ME? I WASN'T EVEN FUCKIN HERE!" he yelled

****silence and sobbing from Rayna**********

"WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, RAYNA? YOU OBVIOUSLY CAN'T HANDLE ALL THREE OF THEM ALONE. YOU MADE THE DAMN NANNY QUIT. HOW THE FUCK CAN I CONCENTRATE ON TRYIN TO FIX MY OWN CAREER, AND BE AWAY WHEN I CAN'T DEPEND ON YOU TO HANDLE THINGS HERE?"

"I'M SORRY, DEACON! I CAN'T WATCH ALL 3 OF THEM ALL THE TIME!" she'd yelled back crying

"MARIA SEEMED TO DO IT JUST FINE." He snapped back as Rayna bawled and apologized incoherently

"…BUT SHE'S GONE, AND I GOTTA BE IN MEMPHIS IN 5 HOURS! I'LL DRIVE HOME AFTER THE SHOW."

"You don't have to do that, Deacon. We'll be fine until we hire another nanny."

"YEAH…YA KNOW WHAT, I'M JUST GONNA CANCEL THE REST OF THE TOUR. I'LL GO BACK TO BEIN A STAY AT HOME DAD SO YOU CAN RUN OFF WITH LUKE FUCKIN WHEELER AGAIN IN A FEW WEEKS. WILL THAT MAKE YA HAPPY? HUH, RAY?"

"Deacon, No…you've worked so hard to get back into music. You deserve to tour, and finish your album. We'll find another nanny."

"I'm not you, Rayna. I can't listen to my little girl sob on the phone cause you're locked in the damn bedroom crying, and ignoring the kids. No wonder Maddie called 14 times. She needed me. Everything was going to hell here." Deacon sighed torn between his kids and career.

"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE ALL THREE OF THEM, DEACON? YOU THINK I'M SUCH A BAD MOTHER, BUT YOU HAVEN'T HAD TO DEAL WITH ALL THREE OF THEM YET. YOU JUST HAD MADDIE WHEN I WAS TOURING. THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ONE AND THREE, DEACON!"

He'd ripped the tabloid in half, thrown it across the room, and slammed the bathroom door as he went to the shower to get ready to leave.

Of course Deacon picked the second Rayna said "Your daddy's being a jerk!" to walk into the kitchen freshly showered, with his suitcase and guitar in hand. He dropped both with a thud, and poured himself a cup of coffee, ignoring a still sobbing Rayna.

She couldn't help but notice how handsome he was. He was dressed for the show in black jeans and boots. His white shirt was crisp with a dress vest over it. In the past few days she'd finally found herself really wanting Deacon again, and feeling the familiar pull and strong attraction to him. She hated that they were fighting when all she wanted to do was be in his arms.

"Deacon, I'm sorry…" she tried as Deacon picked up a still crying Mason, got him a bottle, and left her alone in the kitchen without saying a word to her.

Deacon was in his recliner feeding Mason. She tried again to smooth things over, not wanting Deacon to leave with things like this.

"Please don't leave with things like this. I love you. I'm sorry, Deacon." She was trying to hold back tears.

"Sorry…for what? Lettin the girls read about your love child with Uncle Luke, or tellin Mason I'm a jerk!" He sniped sarcastically.

"Fine, Deacon, you wanna leave with things like this? Isn't that what got us here to begin with? Anger, no communication, all these stupid fights trying to hurt each other?" she said fighting back tears as Deacon propped Mason on his shoulder to burp him.

Rayna quickly placed a burp rag over Deacon's vest and dress shirt in case Mason spit up. She lingered a bit trying to rub Deacon's back, but he remained tense under her touch as he stood with a fussy Mason patting the baby's back and swaying with him to get him to burp and sleep.

"You wanna walk out of here mad? That's fine, Deacon. You do whatever you need to do, but I'm not letting you leave thinking I don't care. I love you, and I want you even if YOU ARE BEING A JERK!"

Mason finally burped after 15 minutes of struggling and fussing in Deacon's arms. He placed the baby boy gently in his pack and play, grabbed his suitcase, guitar, and walked out the front door without a word to Rayna.

Rayna listened as Deacon backed his rental car down the driveway, and drove away. She watched Mason for a few minutes to make sure he was asleep. She padded down the hall to the bedroom, happy the girls were gone for another few hours as she slipped back into bed and her depression. She had a few hours alone to cry and wallow in self-pity allowing the hormones to take over.

Deacon had tears on his cheeks as he pulled into a gas station to fill the rental car before leaving Nashville. He felt horrible, and guilty for being such an asshole almost as soon as he'd left the driveway, and his anger started to subside.

"DAMMIT!" he yelled and punched the dashboard as soon as he got back in the car

Rayna heard the front door open, footsteps in the hall, and the bedroom door creek.

"I'm sorry I forgot to call you, Tandy. You can go back to work. Deacon and I had a big fight. I'm not going to Memphis with him." She sobbed from under the covers without even bothering to look up.

"I'm guessin your sister would probably say something along the lines of "What a Jackass?" right about now, huh?" Deacon asked softly as Rayna turned to face him.

"…and she'd be right. I'm a damn idiot, Ray. I'm sorry too, baby. I just lectured our 6 year old daughter not 3 hours ago about learning to control her temper, and then I come home and completely lose mine, when you didn't deserve it, Ray." He said voice cracking

"…and I don't deserve you tonight, but if you still want to…I really do want you to come to Memphis with me?"

"I'm soooo damn sorry, Ray! I don't even know what the hell happened. I just get so pissed off anytime Luke Wheeler comes up, and the closer this tour Edgehill and this new Jeff guy are pushing gets, it just keeps getting harder."

"C'mere, Please. I love you." Deacon lost it and cried as he slipped into bed and pulled Rayna into his arms for a tight embrace followed by a steamy makeout and make up session.

They were so wrapped up in each other they didn't hear Tandy when she really did come in, and make her way to the bedroom door.

"Whose corvette is in the drive?" she asked as she interrupted their make out session.

"Oh, hey Tandy…mine, it's a rental." Deacon said sitting up

"Your rental is a corvette?" Rayna asked surprised. Deacon wasn't usually one for flashy, sporty displays.

"Yeah, I had a 17 hour drive to get here yesterday. I told the rental agent I needed something fast. That's what she gave me." He smirked helping Rayna sit up

"Is everything OK?" asked Tandy seeing Rayna had been crying

"Yeah, fine. We just had a little spat. We're OK, now." Rayna replied smiling at Deacon

"So, you'll come with me to Memphis?" he asked hopeful as he brushed Rayna's hair from her face.

"Only if I get to drive?" Rayna smirked leaning in for a kiss as Deacon put the corvette keys in her hand.

"Let's get you packed. It's almost 2. I got sound check at 5, and it's a three hour drive." Deacon said helping Rayna up

"Babe, you just gave me keys to a corvette. We'll make it." Rayna laughed

"Pray for me!" Deacon joked looking at Tandy

"You gave her the keys. You're on your own. You're a brave man with her lead foot." Tandy joked.

Thirty minutes later Deacon was watching Rayna enjoy the bright red corvette as she sped down interstate 40 towards Memphis.

"You're awfully sexy driving this. Maybe we need one?" he joked as he leaned to nibble Rayna's ear

"…and where would we put the kids?"

"Trunk?" he joked

"Two overnight bags and your guitar barely fit back there, Deacon."

"Oh…I guess we'll just have to rent sports cars once in a while for romantic weekends." He agreed as he continued to nibble Rayna's neck

Rayna dropped Deacon off at the Orpheum Theater in Memphis just after 430pm.

"Made damn good time!" he smirked kissing her as he pulled his guitar from the trunk.

"You wanna come in and run through my new duet? I usually have one of the back up girls sing it with me, but I'd like you to tonight, Ray?"

"Have I heard this one?" Rayna asked

"Nope, you haven't heard most of the newest stuff, except the one for Vince I sung you at the cabin."

"Are they all about me and us?"

"Pretty much. Always have been, Ray. Even when we haven't been together, seems like they're always about you." He smiled and squeezed her hand as he led her into the back entrance

The hustle and bustle of backstage preparations came to a halt as Rayna Jaymes entered unexpectedly with Deacon. The guys in the band knew Deacon was married to Rayna, but she rarely made public appearances with him at his shows.

"Wow..Rayna! Good to see you. It's been a while." Steve one of Deacon's back up guitarist said.

"Good to see you too, Steve." Rayna replied

"Rayna's gonna sit in on a couple tonight if that's OK with everyone?" Deacon asked and got no complaints

After running through the duet Deacon wanted her help with later he walked her to the car out back. He was always very conscious of Rayna being in public and rarely left her side when they were.

"They're expecting you at the Peabody. Go in the back way." Deacon gently kissed Rayna as he led her out the back to the car.

"Call me when you get to the room, OK?" he asked worried about letting her go alone

"Deacon, I've been doing this a while. I think I can handle a few fans if needed." She laughed at his extra attention, but also loved his protective side.

"I know. I just worry when you don't have the extra security like you do for your own shows. Wish I could go with you, but I'm kinda tied up here."

"Call me when you get back here later for the show. I'll come out and walk you in. There might be press or fans as more people figure out you're in town."

"You know Deacon, I've been thinking a lot about our public image. I know we've kept things fairly private since our early days when making out onstage was fun, but I think maybe if we're a little more open it might help with all the Luke rumors."

"What are you sayin, Ray?"

"Well, no major bombshells, but we are married and the fans and press know that already. It just seems odd to them that we don't make a lot of public appearances and we don't show a lot of PDA anymore, but maybe we should. What do you think? Can we turn things up a notch in public?"

"I'm OK with that if you are." He smirked and leaned into the car for a deep, lingering kiss knowing a photographer was close. It had already gotten out that Rayna Jaymes was with Deacon at the Orpheum. The last available 600 seats had sold out since Rayna's arrival, making the show Deacon's first sell out of the tour.

Later as Deacon's show was winding down he addressed the crowd. Rayna had opted for a front row seat rather than stay hidden backstage. She was proud of Deacon for pursuing a solo career and really wanted to show her love and support not just privately, but publicly too. She loved Deacon, and maybe the world needed to know that if they were ever going to get past all the Luke rumors.

"It's been a great night here in Memphis. Our first sell out. I'm guessing that has more to do with my beautiful wife than anything. " Deacon said as the crowd went crazy.

"Yeah, ya'll know her as Rayna Jaymes. We've been together 9 years. We have 3 beautiful children. The past years been rough, but I wouldn't change a thing. I love you, Ray. You are my Perfect Storm." Deacon said as he bent to kiss Rayna in the front row to dozens of camera flashes as his band launched into the song.

_**"Perfect Storm" Brad Paisley**__  
><em>

_If she was a drink  
>She'd be a single-barrelled<br>Bourbon on ice  
>Smooth with a kick<br>A chill and a burn all  
>At the same time<em>

_She's Sunday drive meets  
>High speed chase<br>She ain't just a song  
>She's the whole mix tape<br>She's so complicated  
>That's the way God made her<br>Sunshine mixed with  
>A little hurricane<em>

_Woah-oh-oh_

_And she destroys me in that t-shirt  
>And I love her so much it hurts<br>I never meant to fall like this  
>She don't just rain she pours<br>That girl right there's  
>The perfect storm<em>

_I know how to make her laugh  
>Or blush, or mad at me<br>But that's OK there ain't no one  
>More beautiful angry<em>

_And she loves just as deep  
>As she goes when she's down<br>The highs match the lows  
>Can't have one without the other<br>And I love her just the way  
>God made her<br>Sunshine mixed with  
>A little hurricane<em>

_And she destroys me in that t-shirt  
>And I love her so much it hurts<br>I never meant to fall like this  
>But she don't just rain she pours<br>That girl right there's  
>The perfect storm<em>

_She's the girl of a lifetime  
>A guy like me spends his whole life<br>Looking for, that girl right there's  
>The perfect storm<br>Woah-oh-oh  
>Woah-oh-oh<br>(She destroys me in that t-shirt)_

"Thank you, very kind. Now you're all in for a very special treat. You didn't think you were getting a Rayna Jaymes show, did ya? I'd like to ask my amazing wife to please join me onstage for the last couple songs tonight. First we'd like to sing her CMA winner from last fall. It was a co-write between us. This Time." Deacon announced to a crowd going completely crazy about seeing Rayna Jaymes perform in such an intimate smaller setting.

**"**_**This Time" Nashville Cast**__  
><em>

_Well you know how it goes when you meet somebody  
>That you like somebody<br>Wanna hold somebody  
>But ya just can't stand to think about somebody as another somebody becoming someone else<br>When it all goes to hell  
>Why can't we keep it on the sweet side<br>See how it feels to take the slow ride  
>This time<br>So you try to run away from the one somebody  
>That you like somebody<br>Wanna hold somebody  
>But ya can't stay away from the one somebody cause they're ain't nobody else running through your dreams<br>So we complicate things  
>Why can't we keep it on the sweet side<br>See how it feels to take the slow ride  
>This time<br>You don't need to meet my mama,  
>You don't need a key to my house,<br>We don't need to dream, and plan and scheme ain't nothing here to figure out  
>Wouldn't it be nice just to find somebody<br>That you like somebody  
>Wanna hold somebody<br>And you didn't have to worry bout losing somebody  
>Cause you pushed somebody a little to hard too fast<br>Oh, I could use some of that,  
>I wanna get back on the sweet side, I wanna get back on the slow ride<br>Want every kiss to give me butterflies  
>See that "oh baby, come here" look in your eyes<br>This time, this time._

"..and this last one tonight is a special one for me. Sometimes things get crazy. Life gets away from you. You get busy with work, kids, problems… It's easy to forget where it all started, and how crazy you used to be about each other. Anyone that followed Rayna and I years ago knows how crazy we were about each other in the beginning. Yeah…I hear a few of you out there. You saw some early shows, right? This one's called Remind Me." Deacon said laughing as the crowd remembered early Rayna Deacon shows and made comments, some not family friendly.

_**"Remind Me" Brad Paisley**__  
><em>_**(with Carrie Underwood)**__  
><em>

_We didn't care if people stared  
>We'd make out in a crowd somewhere<br>Somebody'd tell us to get a room  
>It's hard to believe that was me and you<br>Now we keep saying that we're okay  
>But I don't want to settle for good not great<br>I miss the way that it felt back then I wanna feel that way again_

_Been so long that you'd forget the way I used to kiss your neck  
>Remind me, remind me<br>So on fire so in love. Way back when we couldn't get enough  
>Remind me, remind me<em>

_Remember the airport dropping me off  
>We were kissing goodbye and we couldn't stop<br>I felt bad cause you missed your flight  
>But that meant we had one more night<em>

_Do you remember how it used to be  
>We'd turn out the lights and we didn't just sleep<br>Remind me, baby, remind me  
>Oh, so on fire so in love<br>That look in your eyes that I miss so much  
>I wanna feel that way<br>Yeah, I wanna hold you close  
>Oh, if you still love me<br>Don't just assume I know_

_Baby, remind me, remind me_

_Do you remember the way it felt?  
>You mean back when we couldn't control ourselves<br>__Remind__ me_

_Yeah, remind me  
>All those things that you used to do<br>That made me fall in love with you  
>Remind me, oh, baby, remind me<em>

_Yeah, you'd wake up in my old t-shirt  
>All those mornings I was late for work<br>Remind me_

_Oh, baby, remind me  
>Oh, baby, remind me, baby, remind me<br>Yeah, you'd wake up in my old t-shirt  
>Remind me, yeah, oh<em>

_Baby, remind me_

Deacon leaned in close to Rayna covering the microphone for a few private words

"I'm soo sorry about this morning, Ray. I really am happy you're here. Thanks for sharing the stage with me again tonight. I've missed this. I love you so damn much. Lets go back to the hotel so I can really remind you that nothing's changed. I love you more today than I ever thought possible, and I don't have a single regret, baby." Deacon said as he pulled Rayna into his arms for their first onstage make out session since their 1992 tour, 7 years ago.


	22. Chapter 22

"I could use some coffee. How 'bout you, Ray?" Deacon asked as he pulled off interstate 40 headed back to Nashville.

"Yeah, babe. That sounds good…Starbucks, Pleeeeaaase?" Rayna begged knowing Deacon would pull into a McDonalds if she didn't interject now.

"Alright…" he sighed and pulled into a Starbucks parking lot.

"I could use the little boy's room. How about we just go in? I'm gonna need a minute to figure out their damn menu anyway. Is black coffee even an option here?" Deacon sniped as he held the door for Rayna and slipped his sunglasses into his shirt pocket.

"Black coffee, just the way you like it." Rayna smiled as she pushed a large cup towards Deacon as he joined her at a table after his restroom visit.

"Thanks, baby. What did you get anyway?" Deacon asked scowling at the receipt laying on the table

"$14.86 for two damn cups of coffee." He grumbled

"You are such a grouch when you don't get enough sleep!" Rayna laughed

"Well, who kept me up so late?" he smiled as he kissed Rayna's hand across the table.

"I think that was the other way around. You were pretty pumped after the show." She smiled squeezing his hand

"Just happy to be back onstage with my favorite girl, that's all. It's been way too long, Ray. Also nice to finish a show the way we used to, barely get back to the hotel before we tear each other's clothes off." He smirked

"We should probably get goin. Tandy's gonna be pullin her hair out dealing with all three kids." Rayna reminded Deacon

"Oh, yeah..those pouting, whining, fighting, screaming short people we live with." He joked

"The peace and quiet, and time alone has been nice, but I kinda miss 'em." Rayna said tearing up a little as hormones took hold she realized how much she missed her babies

"I know. Me too." Deacon said helping her up and pulling her to him for a long, deep kiss in the middle of Starbucks.

"Mind if I drive, babe?" Rayna asked as Deacon pulled the corvette keys from his pocket

"You really like the vette, huh?" he asked smiling

"I love, Rose. Do we really have to give her back today, Deacon?" Rayna asked looking sad

"You named it?" Deacon laughed

"I know, silly, but I just feel young and alive again driving her. I've been so depressed since the baby and hysterectomy. Never thought a car would make me so happy, but she does."

"I thought I did that?" Deacon smirked helping Rayna into the driver's seat

"You do, but in a different way." She laughed as he leaned in for another quick make out session in the driver's seat before handing her the keys.

"There's not enough room for both of us in the driver's seat. She's definitely going back." Deacon laughed

"You don't need sex with a car like this Deke. Driving it is the thrill." Rayna laughed as she started the engine and revved Rose a few times laughing.

"Alright, that's it! Pull into the nearest Enterprise. If Rose is better than sex she's got to go NOW! I'm renting you a mini van for the rest of the drive back to Nashville." He laughed

"I'd rather have you revving my engine." Deacon said in a husky whisper as he pulled Rayna in for an aggressive make out session from the passenger seat.

"Later, babe! Right now, hang on!" Rayna laughed wildly as she floored Rose coming off the ramp back to interstate 40.

"You're so goddamn sexy like this, Ray."

An hour and a half later Rayna pulled into the driveway, and parked Rose next to the nanny mini van. She lingered for a bit looking at the car as Deacon unloaded the suitcases and his guitar from the trunk.

"You want a few minutes alone with Rose before I call the rental agency to pick her up?" Deacon asked sarcastically, laughing.

"Shut Up!" Rayna said smacking him jokingly

"Daddy, mama…!" two excited little girls attacked Rayna and Deacon as they entered the kitchen finally home.

"I missed you!" Maddie said as she wrapped her arms around her parents

"I missed you more!" Scarlett said as she greeted them with hugs and kisses too

"Nuh uh…you didn't miss them more!" snapped Maddie

"Did too!" Scarlett snapped back

"GIRLS, ENOUGH! We just got home." Deacon said sternly not ready for a fight 30 seconds after arriving home.

"Hey, How was Memphis?" Tandy asked entering the kitchen with a fussy Mason

"Great! We really needed this. Thanks for babysitting on such short notice, sis." Rayna said as Deacon softly kissed her cheek before taking a fussy baby from Tandy.

"What's the matter, big guy?" Deacon cooed as he tried to soothe Mason

"I couldn't get him to eat any food. He just took formula. I think he might be teething already." Tandy said.

"Yeah, I think he's gonna be a really picky eater. I've tried several jar foods and dry cereal. He just spits it all out. Not sure what to do?" Rayna sighed

"Come on, buddy! Daddy's exhausted!" Deacon pleaded with Mason to stop crying as he fussed and squirmed in his arms. He'd been fussy since they arrived home.

"No luck getting him down?" Rayna sighed as she came downstairs to an exhausted husband holding a fussing baby

"He's a little warm. I don't know if it's from holding him for the last 6 hours, or maybe a low fever? He's just not himself tonight, Ray. He's usually such a happy little guy." Deacon said as he patted Mason's back and continued to walk and sway with him.

"The girls want daddy to play a few songs before bed. I'll take him." Rayna said feeling sorry for Deacon. He'd been walking around the house, swaying with Mason for over 6 hours and looked so tired.

Rayna took Mason and tried to sit on the couch, but as soon as she sat he started screaming his head off.

"He's fussy if you stand, but he'll scream if you try to sit down. Sorry, baby." Deacon gently kissed Rayna's cheek before climbing the stairs for bedtime with the girls.

"Any requests tonight?" Deacon asked as he sat in the chair next to the girl's beds with his old guitar

"Kiss the girl, daddy!"

_**"Kiss The Girl"**__  
><em>

_There you see her  
>Sitting there across the way<br>She don't got a lot to say  
>But there's something about her<br>And you don't know why  
>But you're dying to try<br>You wanna kiss the girl._

_Yes, you want her  
>Look at her, you know you do<br>It's possible she wants you too  
>There's one way to ask her<br>It don't take a word, not a single word  
>Go on and kiss the girl (kiss the girl)<em>

_Shalalalala  
>My oh my<br>Looks like the boy's too shy  
>Ain't gonna kiss the girl<br>Shalalalala  
>Ain't that sad<br>it's such a shame  
>Too bad, you're gonna miss the girl<br>go on and kiss the girl (kiss the girl)_

_Nows your moment  
>Floating in a blue lagoon<br>Boy, you better do it soon  
>No time will be better<br>She don't say a word  
>And she wont say a word<br>Until you kiss the girl (kiss the girl)_

_Shalalalala  
>My oh my<br>Looks like the boy's too shy  
>Ain't gonna kiss the girl<br>Shalalalala  
>Ain't that sad<br>it's such a shame  
>Too bad, you're gonna miss the girl<em>

_Shalalalala  
>Don't be scared<br>You better be prepared  
>Go on and kiss the girl<br>Shalalalala  
>Don't stop now<br>Don't try to hide it how  
>You wanna kiss the girl<br>Go on and kiss the girl  
>(kiss the girl)<br>(oh, ohnoo..)  
>(kiss the girl, kiss the girl)<br>Lalalala, Lalalala  
>Go on and kiss the girl<br>Lalalala, Lalalala  
>Go on and kiss the girl<em>

_Shalalalala  
>My oh myyyyy<br>Looks like the boy's too shy  
>Ain't gonna kiss the girl<br>Shalalalala  
>Ain't that sad<br>it's such a shame  
>Too bad, you're gonna miss the girl<em>

_Lalalala, Lalalala  
>(Go on and kiss the girl)<br>Go on and kiss that girl!  
>Lalalala, Lalalala<br>(Go on and kiss the girl)  
>Go on and kiss the girl<br>Kiss the girl  
>(Kiss the girl)<br>Go on and kiss the girl_

Scarlett was sound asleep by the end of the song. Deacon pulled the blankets up around her and kissed her little blonde head. Maddie was sleepy, but fighting it as usual, and full of questions.

"Will you lay down with me, daddy?" she asked

Deacon knew he shouldn't, but he was exhausted. He and Rayna had only slept a few hours each of the past 2 nights. Mason and the girls had been relentless since arriving home. The girls were bickering, and Mason hadn't stopped fussing.

"OK, for a little bit, sweetie, but only if you go to sleep. No more questions tonight." He said as he layed down and Maddie snuggled up close to him rubbing his chin scruff like she had since she was little.

Maddie quickly fell asleep in his arms. He meant to get up, but he drifted off to sleep. He woke 3 hours later and quietly slipped from Maddie's grasp.

"I'm so sorry, Ray. Maddie wanted me to lay down with her and I fell asleep." He apologized to a really exhausted Rayna as he came downstairs after 1am."

"It's OK, honey. You were tired." She said as she patted a quietly fussing Mason's back and swayed with him.

"C'mere…." He pulled Rayna and Mason into his arms as they both patted Mason and swayed with him between them for several minutes.

"He still feels warm. I don't think he feels good, Ray." Deacon said as he gently kissed Mason's warm little head.

"Why don't you go to bed, Ray? I'll take him." Deacon offered

"Are you sure?" she asked

"Yeah, I got a few hours in with Maddie. I've got a second wind. I may take him for a drive."

"OK, his car seat is in the nanny van. The keys Maria gave back to me are in the basket on the table."

"Ahhh…that's worse than your Escalade. I'm the cool dad. I can't drive a nanny van." Deacon scowled thinking about it

"Well, we could trade it in on something…RED!" Rayna laughed kissing Deacon as she turned to go to bed leaving him with a fussing baby.

Deacon drove around Nashville for the next 2 hours with Mason in the van. After 6 cups of coffee, and running through his concert playlist singing for Mason, the little boy was finally asleep at 3:20am.

Deacon pulled the van into the empty spot in the garage. He quietly took a sleeping Mason upstairs to his nursery. He figured there would be less chance of the baby being accidentally woken up there. He made sure the monitor was on, and went to the old nanny suite for the other part of the monitor. Rayna hadn't told him about the huge pile of tabloids on the bed in there.

"Is he finally asleep?" asked Rayna as Deacon slipped his arms around her in bed

"Yeah, my playlist did him in." he laughed as he kissed the back of Rayna's neck sending butterflies to her stomach. She was so happy Deacon did that to her again and turned to kiss him passionately as they lay in their own bed together.

Deacon drifted off to sleep as she ran her fingers through his hair. She couldn't help but keep kissing him as he slept. He was so handsome in the moonlight. He was so tired he hadn't even taken his clothes off.

Rayna gently unbuttoned his denim shirt and slipped it off as he slept. She carefully removed his belt, wallet, and phone from his pockets. He barely moved.

She kissed him a few more times times before curling into his side and drifting off to sleep herself. They both woke around 7am to a crash from the kitchen, followed by a screaming baby on the monitor, who'd also heard the crash.

"It was so quiet in Memphis." Rayna sighed, staring at the ceiling, contemplating wheather to go see what crashed or ignore it.

"I'll go see what they're doin." Deacon sleepily said putting his shirt back on

"What are we doin in here?" he asked as Maddie and Scarlett scrambled to pick up the contents of a pantry shelf that had fallen when someone clearly climbed it knocking everything to the floor.

"Sorry, daddy. It just fell." Maddie guiltily said

"Oh it just fell, huh? Some little girl didn't climb it and make it fall?" he asked

"Maddie did it. I told her not to climb the shelf." Scarlett tattled

"Did not!" Maddie argued

"ENOUGH! Quit bickering. I don't care who did it, just clean up the mess." Deacon said turning to go get Mason as his cries became louder.

"Hey, buddy. How we feelin?" he asked as Mason reached for him and smiled from the crib

"That's better. A smile, and you're cooler." He said cuddling the little boy as Mason patted daddy's chin scruff and laughed.

"How about breakfast, and a bath?" he asked as he changed Mason's diaper

Rayna wandered out 30 minutes later. The girls were quietly eating they're cereal and Deacon was feeding Mason apple sauce, and drinking coffee.

"It's quiet in here." She noted

"Daddy's patience is wearing a little thin. We're playing the quiet game." Deacon smiled as Rayna bent to kiss him on the cheek

"…and he's eating?" Rayna kissed the top of Mason's head as he happily let Deacon feed him another bite of applesauce.

"I think he cut a tooth already. Maybe that's why he didn't wanna eat before?" Deacon said as Mason finished the whole jar of apple sauce, and he carried him to the sink for a bath.

"You're getting me soaked, buddy." Deacon laughed and splashed with Mason

"Back to his happy place today." Deacon smiled at Rayna

"You're my happy place, babe." Rayna said kissing Deacon before taking the girls to school

By the time she got back Deacon and Mason were asleep together in the recliner. She quietly cleaned up the kitchen.

Deacon came in as she sat down with coffee and the paper.

"So Sunday is Mother's Day. What do you want to do?" he asked

"Hire another nanny." She laughed

"I'll place an ad, and ask around at the opry tonight. What else? Anything special you want, or want to do?"

"I already have everything I want, Deacon. Thank you for a great trip to Memphis, and being so good with the kids. I couldn't ask for a better husband and father." She said with tears in her eyes as a hormonal shift took hold and overwhelmed her.

"Ray, still feeling pretty emotional?" he asked as he moved the chair next to her and held her for a while

"Yeah, but now it's a good emotional. Before it was more depression and sadness. Now everything just makes me cry even happiness. I'll try to be better with the kids, and not go off to cry if they upset me." She sobbed.

"You're a good mother, Ray. I'm sorry I implied otherwise the other day when we were fighting. I was out of line. I wasn't here when you had the blow up with Maria. I'm sure you handled it the best you could. I saw the pile of tabloids on her bed when I went to get the baby monitor last night. I probably would have lost it if I'd have been here when Maddie got a hold of the "love child" one." He smiled rubbing Rayna's back.

"I've got a few weeks before my next tour dates, and you've got a few weeks before yours starts. We'll interview nannies together this time. Things are gonna be fine. We'll figure it out together, OK?"

"How about a mother's day brunch at that botanical garden place Sunday after church? Maybe Tandy and Bucky can come too? We can stop at the cemetery and take your mom's flowers to her grave. I'll even wear a tie and dress shoes." He laughed and pulled Rayna closer as her tears fell.

"That sounds nice, Deacon. I'll call Tandy and have them meet us for church. Can you handle daddy?" Rayna asked

"Ohhh…a suit, church, and Lamar, Ray?" he joked

"For you, yeah. It's your day. I want it to be special." He said kissing Rayna on the cheek

"How about a shower together before the kid wakes up again?" he laughed and pulled Rayna to the shower to lighten the mood.

Deacon let Rayna wash his hair. He washed her long, red locks. They let the hot water fall over them as they quietly made love against the wall all soapy and slippery in each other's arms.

Sunday everyone got dressed up for church. Rayna always liked going to church on mother's day. Her mom had taken her and Tandy to church when they were little. It seemed fitting to go as a family to honor her own mother.

The girls had pink dresses on. Rayna wore a light blue sun dress. Mason had an adorable little grey suit on matching Deacon's.

They all attended 8am services with Tandy, Bucky, and Lamar. Afterwards the whole family met for brunch at the botanical gardens, a place Rayna's mom always loved.

Deacon pulled the van into the florist parking lot to pick up Rayna's order for her mom's grave. He had a special bouquet of roses for Rayna as he got back in the van.

"These are from me and the kids. A dozen red, 2 pink-one for each girl, and a blue rose for Mason. Happy mother's day, Ray." He said as he handed her the roses and leaned across to kiss Rayna from the driver's seat.

At her mother's grave there were tears and laughter.

"You look very nice today Deacon." Tandy said as Bucky kept his arm around her

"Never thought I'd see Deacon Claybourne driving a mini van, or wearing a tie, and wingtips." Lamar laughed

"I think Deacon looks amazingly handsome, daddy." Rayna came to Deacon's defense as she felt him tense with Lamar so close.

Deacon held Rayna's hand as they drove home. She seemed sad after visiting her mother's grave. He hoped the final part of his mother's day surprise would cheer her up. He was shocked the girls had kept it quiet. He had rehearsed their lines with them the night before and they were waiting for his cue anxiously behind him in the van. He knew they couldn't hold out much longer as he heard them giggle, so he went ahead with the cue a block from home.

Rayna was looking out the window. He turned and nodded to the girls.

"Daddy, they forgot a red rose." Maddie said looking at Rayna's mother's day bouquet.

"There's only 11. There's supposed to be 12 red ones, right, daddy?" added Scarlett

"I'm sure they're all there. Let mama count them." Deacon said as the girls erupted in giggles and handed the bouquet to Rayna

"No, they're right. There are only 11 red roses. You got shorted one, babe." Rayna said looking a bit confused as to why they were all giggling

"I think I know where the other ROSE is." Deacon stopped at the end of the driveway. He pulled a small box wrapped in red from his jacket pocket and handed it to Rayna.

"You didn't, Deacon!" Rayna's face lit up as she pulled a set of keys from the small box

"There's number 12." Deacon laughed as he hit the garage door open button on the visor revealing Rose parked in her new home.


	23. Chapter 23

"You OK now, sweetheart?" Deacon asked as he held a sobbing Rayna next to Rose in the garage.

"Thank you soo much, Deacon. This is the best mother's day EVER! I love you!" she said with her head on his shoulder as she held him tight.

"I just want you to be happy, Ray. You seemed so vibrant and sexy as hell driving this car." He smiled and leaned in for a long, deep, passionate kiss.

"Happy Mother's Day, baby!"

"I was vibrant and sexy because YOU were next to me, Deacon. I loved our time onstage again, and being alone in Memphis. The car was just an added bonus."

"Well, now it's an everyday bonus. Rose is yours." He pulled back an wiped away all of Rayna's tears

"Deacon, I love the car and all the thought you put into this, but it's a lot, babe. We already have so many expenses….."

"I got this, Ray. It's paid for. My royalties check from all the new material came in. Belcort loves all of it. The check woulda covered 10 Roses. Don't worry about that part of it, baby. I wanted to do this for you."

"Don't you like it, mama?" Asked Maddie

"I love it, baby. …and I love all of you more. Thank you all sooo much for making this day so special." Rayna said as she started sobbing again

Mason started fussing in the back of the van. In all the excitement, he'd been left in his car seat.

"I got him." Deacon said letting go of Rayna ad climbing into the back of the van for Mason

"Look, buddy. What do you think of mama's new ride?" Deacon asked sitting behind the wheel of the corvette with Mason

"Good thing we've got 16 years before he's old enough to drive. I think he likes Rose." Deacon said as Mason laughed and tried to turn the wheel on his lap.

"Can we go for a ride, daddy?" asked Scarlett

"Honey, this car only seats 2 people. It's a mommy toy." Deacon tried to explain

"What about daddy / daughter dates? Can we take Rose then, daddy?" asked Maddie

"I think you'll have to ask mommy if we can borrow her." Deacon laughed and smiled at Rayna

"I might share!" Rayna smirked and leaned in to kiss Deacon again as he sat in the driver's seat with Mason.

The home security system control panel on the garage wall began to beep. Rayna went to answer.

"Yes." She asked holding the button

"Rayna, this is Mike at the main neighborhood entrance. Is Deacon available?"

"Right here, Mike. What's up?" Deacon answered getting out of the car to get closer to the box

"We have a Beverly O'Connor here. Says you'd want to see her?"

"uuhhh…yeah…she's my sister. Go ahead, let her in."

"Deacon!" Rayna said with alarm in her voice

"What the hell am I supposed to do, Rayna? Turn her away? She's still my sister."

"Here, take the van keys. Take the kids to the park down the street, NOW, before she gets here." Deacon said as he ushered Rayna and all three kids back to the van.

"…but Deacon?" Rayna started to argue

"Rayna, please let me handle this? Just get Scarlett out of here before Beverly upsets her." He whispered pleadingly in Rayna's ear.

"OK, call me when you're ready for us to come back." Rayna said taking Mason from Deacon

Rayna had barely left the driveway when a cab pulled in. Deacon was still standing behind the corvette in the garage. He loosened his tie and unbuttoned his top shirt button. It suddenly felt like a noose around his neck.

"Hi, Beverly. What exactly is it you want?" he got right to the point

"Nice to see you too, Deke!" she sniped sarcastically eying the corvette behind him

"Let's cut right to the chase here, Bev. We haven't heard a damn thing from you in a year and a half. Why are you suddenly here now?" he asked

"It's Mother's Day, DEACON! Don't I have a right to see my little girl."

"You didn't give a shit last Mother's Day!" he snapped losing his temper

"….or how about the last two Christmas's, or Scarlett's birthday, HUH? WHERE THE HELL WERE YA THEN?"

"…or how about when she was diagnosed with asthma. WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU ALL THE NIGHTS RAYNA AND I SAT IN THE EMERGRNCY ROOM WITH HER?"

"I had to get myself together, and I have. Where's my daughter?"

"She's not here!"

"YOU CAN'T KEEP HER FROM ME, DEACON! I'M HER MOTHER, NOT RAYNA!"

"I'm not gonna keep her from you, but Rayna and I love that little girl like one of our own. I'm not gonna let you show back up after a year and a half and tear her life apart. We need to talk to Scarlett before you see her and explain what's happening."

"FINE, and what am I supposed to do, DEACON? I don't have a car, or a place to stay."

"I'll take you to a hotel."

"What, you can't let your own sister stay in your home?" Beverly hissed

"HOW THE HELL'S THAT GONNA WORK, BEV? YOU CAN'T GET ALONG WITH RAYNA!"

"I'd like to stay with my daughter."

"Please, Deacon? I love my daughter and you. You're the last family I have. I've been a mess, but I'm trying to get better." Beverly began to cry in the driveway.

"I dunno, Bev! There's a lot of bad blood between you and Rayna, and more between you and me." Deacon said as he began to crack watching his sister cry.

"C'mere…" Deacon said as he hugged Beverly

"How have you been?" he asked voice cracking as his initial anger subsided

"Lester left me a few months ago. The house seems so empty since mama and Scarlett have been gone." She sniffled in Deacon's arms

"Wait…you've been in Natchez? We've tried to call. Why the hell haven't you responded to any messages? It's been a damn year and a half, Bev."

"I left for a while. Lester never keeps a job long. We tried California and Nevada for a while, but he kept losing jobs. We moved back to Natchez and mama's house last fall. He never did find a job in Natchez. He left in February, but this time he left me."

"You're better off! Lester's always been a damn loser. I don't understand how he could be with you, and still not want anything to do with his daughter."

"He did when she was a baby, but then he divorced me. He came back right before mama got sick, and acted like Scarlett wasn't even his. I didn't push it. Mama was pretty much raising Scarlett by then."

"…and you got back with him anyway, WHY?" asked Deacon confused

"I don't know, DEACON! Does it matter? It's over now, and I need to make things right with my daughter."

"Alright! We're between nannies right now. The master suite upstairs is empty. You can stay, but I need to talk to Rayna and Scarlett. C'mon, I'll show you the room." He said taking Bev's suitcase and leading her into the house and upstairs.

"Thanks, Deke!" Beverly sniffled as Deacon removed all the tabloids Maria had left on the bed

"What are all of those doing here?" she asked

"Don't ask!" he sniped as he threw them into the bathroom trash can

"I'll be back. I gotta go talk to Rayna. …and Bev DON'T MAKE ME REGRET THIS!" he said pointedly before leaving Beverly alone in the room

Deacon rubbed his face as he climbed behind the wheel of his truck. He sighed. "Rayna's gonna fuckin kill me." He thought to himself as he backed down the driveway and drove the block to the park.

The girls were squealing and playing on a jungle gym in their pink mother's day dresses. Rayna was pushing Mason on a swing. He was laughing and flailing his arms and legs loving every minute of his first swing experience. Deacon sat in the truck watching them for a few minutes. He knew Rayna was not going to be happy about having Beverly in her home.

Beverly had hated Rayna since the first time Deacon had taken her to Natchez. Scarlett was a newborn at the time, and Rayna was a few months pregnant with Maddie. Beverly's relationship with Deacon had been strained since he'd left Natchez when he was only 16. He'd recently resumed his relationship with both his mother and sister after limited and sometimes non-existent contact for over 8 years.

Beverly resented Deacon's musical career and success. That resentment included his relationship with Rayna, and they instantly hated each other. Early in their marriage Rayna and Deacon had taken several trips to Natchez for birthdays and Christmas's with Deacon's mom and Beverly, but it was hard for Deacon to be in that house with all the bad childhood memories. He did it because he wanted Maddie to have a relationship with her grandmother, but things always felt forced and stressful when they were there.

"Hey, He loves the swing, huh?" Deacon said as he wrapped his arms around Rayna from behind as she pushed Mason on the swing.

"Thought you were gonna call when you were ready for us to come home?" Rayna replied without turning around already sensing something was wrong.

"We need to talk first." He sighed as Rayna turned in his arms to face him

"Where's Beverly?"

Deacon tightened his hold around Rayna, and looked down. "At our house." He quietly answered.

"….for what…to see Scarlett, dinner, the night? What exactly does "At our house" mean?"

"I dunno, Ray. She's still my sister, and she's still Scarlett's mother and…" he sighed again finally meeting Rayna's gaze.

"I told her she can stay." He cringed waiting for Rayna's reaction

"DAMMIT, DEACON! …without even talking to me first?" Rayna was pissed

"I'm talking to you now." He said calmly

"…yeah, great, after the fact! How long is she staying?"

"I dunno, Ray. It didn't come up. She was upset and cryin. She doesn't have a car, or anywhere to go."

"How about a hotel?" Rayna suggested as she pulled away from Deacon and plucked Mason from the swing.

Mason began to fuss upset to be taken from the swing fun. Rayna held him close as she walked to the van and diaper bag for a bottle. She sat in the backseat feeding him with the sliding door open to watch the girls as they played.

"I want her gone before we both leave for our tours in a few weeks. She's not staying alone in our house with the kids and a nanny." Rayna said hotly as Deacon approached and sat on the edge of the door frame at her feet.

"OK." He simply said torn between his sister and wife

"What do we tell Scar?" Deacon quietly asked as they watched the girls play

"I DON'T KNOW, DEACON! HOW THE HELL DO YOU TELL A KID THE MOTHER THAT ABANDONED HER MORE THAN A YEAR AGO IS SUDDENLY SLEEPING DOWN THE HALL?" Rayna snapped

"I'M SORRY, RAY! WHAT THE FUCK WOULD YOU HAVE DONE? SHE DOESN'T HAVE ANYONE. AM I JUST SUPPOSED TO COMPLETELY TURN MY BACK ON MY ONLY SISTER, HUH?" he asked getting mad, but also had tears in his eyes.

"No, you're a caring, compassionate man when it comes to your family and the people you care about. I'm sorry for getting so upset. You're right. She's your sister. She's Scarlett's mother. We'll deal with it." Rayna said softening as she watched Deacon struggle to deal with his estranged sister's arrival. She reached down to rub Deacon's shoulders.

"…but we do need to talk to Scarlett now, before we go home." Rayna said handing Mason to Deacon

"Can you burp him? I'll go get Scarlett."

Deacon walked back to the swings patting Mason's back. He was fussy even after a burp. Deacon placed him back in the swing. He was laughing and flailing his arms and legs again as Rayna approached with the girls.

"Sweetie, can you swing your brother, gently, not too high? Mama and I need to talk to Scarlett alone." Deacon asked Maddie

"OK, daddy. You're in trouble Scar!" instigated Maddie

"Am NOT!" Scarlett shot back

"Nobody's in trouble." Deacon said as he and Rayna led Scarlett to a picnic table?

"Do you remember when mama and I came to get you at the hospital after grandma got sick?" Deacon asked Scarlett as he pulled her onto his lap at the table

"Yeah…" she replied looking confused

"Your first mom was sick and she asked us to take care of you, remember?" Deacon continued as Scarlett nodded yes.

"She's better now, and she wants to see you."

"Is she gonna take me away?"

"Right now she just wants to see you. We'll worry about that part later." Deacon answered looking at Rayna for help. He hadn't expected that question.

"Sweetie, we love you, and whatever happens we'll always love you like our daughter, but you remember we were your aunt and uncle. Beverly is your mama." Rayna said voice cracking

"You don't want me?" Scarlett started to cry

"No, no, Scar…We will always want you! You will always be part of our family, but your mama Beverly is part of this family too, OK?" Deacon said hugging Scarlett tight as she clung to his neck

"We love you, baby. No matter what happens remember that. We're always gonna be here for you." Rayna said rubbing Scarlett's back as she clung to Deacon.

"Look at me, Scar!…your mama is gonna be staying with us at home for a while. She's there now waiting for us. Are you ready to see her?" asked Deacon as he held Scarlett on his knee

"…but it's Mother's Day. I didn't get her anything." Scarlett always the compassionate little girl said lip quivering

"I think we can fix that. Ray, I'm gonna run a little errand with Scar. We'll meet you at home in a half hour or so. Do you need anything for the pizzas tonight?" he asked standing with Scarlett in his arms

"No, the girls and I got everything for family pizza night the other day. See you at home." Rayna said smiling as Deacon walked to his truck with Scarlett still in his arms

"Which ones do you wanna get?" Deacon asked Scarlett as they stood at the flower case in the grocery store.

"The purple ones." Scarlett smiled and grabbed a bouquet of purple carnations

"Good choice. Very pretty. She'll love 'em." Deacon said brushing her blonde hair from her face

"Can we get a cake too, Daddy?"

"Sure, sweetie. Pick one out."

"The one with two heart for two moms." She pointed to the cake

"OK…ma'am, can I get the cake with two hearts?" Deacon asked the woman behind the bakery counter

"Sure, sir. Would you like names added?"

"aaahhh…yeah, Bev and Ray inside the hearts please?"

Scarlett was quiet next to Deacon on the drive home as she held the carnations for Bev.

"You ready for this?" Deacon asked Scarlett as he shut the truck engine off in the garage at home.

"What do I say, daddy?"

"You say whatever you want, sweetie. Everything is gonna be OK. I promise."

"C'mere…one more big hug before we go in there?" he pulled Scarlett into his arms and held her for a few minutes in the driver's seat before opening the door.

"How's it goin?" Deacon asked Rayna as he placed the cake on the kitchen island, as Scarlett lingered behind him clinging to the back of his leg.

"So far, so good. Maddie's keeping her busy. She hasn't really been able to get away from her." Rayna laughed knowing Maddie could jabber for hours if you let her.

"You're cruel. Sick jabber jaws on her first thing?" Deacon smiled as he kissed Rayna

"Thank you, for being OK with this for now." He hugged Rayna a little tighter

Maddie was in the living room jabbering away to Beverly about school, and anything she could think of. Beverly was attentively listening and asking questions when she could get a word in. Maddie loved new people to talk to.

Mason was in his walker throwing things on the floor waiting for anyone to pick them up so he could throw them down again. Deacon put all the toys back on his tray and rubbed the little boys head as he made his way to the living room with Scarlett still clinging to the back of his leg with the flowers.

"Maddie, go help mama with the pizzas." Deacon said as he entered the living room with Scarett

"Sorry we're late gettin back. Scarlett wanted to get you something for mother's day." Deacon told Beverly as he pulled Scarlett gently from behind him

"These are for you ma…" Scarlett wasn't sure if she should call Bev mama or not

"Thank you. Purple…my favorite color. Can I have a hug?" Beverly asked a very standoffish Scarlett

"It's OK…go ahead." Deacon tried to coax Scarlett towards Beverly, but she wasn't very receptive to her estranged mother

"C'mere, Scar." Deacon scooped Scarlett into his arms and sat next to Bev on the couch with her

"It's OK, sweetie. Calm down. No one's gonna make you do anything you don't want to." Deacon tried to reassure Scarlett as she began to wheeze. Her asthma always acted up if she was really upset.

"RAYNA! Nebulizer, please?" Deacon yelled to the kitchen as the wheezing continued

Deacon and Rayna had become pros and setting up the nebulizer in seconds. Rayna was handing him the machine after only about 30 seconds.

"Here you go, baby. Deep breaths. It's OK." Deacon said as he fitted the mask on Scarlett and held her on his lap

"What's wrong with her?" asked Beverly

"Asthma. She was diagnosed about a month after we took her. We have it pretty well under control now, but if she gets upset it flares up." Deacon explained

"How do you not freak out when she can't breathe?" Bev asked surprised at how calm Deacon and Rayna handled the attack

"Believe me, when this all began a year and a half ago we both did some freaking out, and had some pretty rough nights in the ER with her."

"…but she's OK, now? She just uses this machine and it goes away?" asked Bev concerned

"If we get it on her quick, yeah. She's usually OK within a few minutes. We also give her treatments a few times a week even when she's not showing symptoms, just to keep it under control"

"Feelin better?" Deacon asked as he sat Scarlett up and removed the mask

"Deep breath for me?"

"OK, you sound better. No wheezing." Deacon said kissing her little cheek as Scarlett wrapped her arms around his neck again.

"You wanna go to your room and lay down for a little bit, sweetie?" he asked

"Yeah, daddy." Beverly was a little shocked to hear Scarlett call Deacon daddy

"I'll be back down in a little bit." Deacon said as he climbed the stairs with Scarlett in his arms

"Here you go. Comfy?" he asked as he tucked the blankets around Scarlett

"I don't wanna go with her daddy." Scarlett said as Deacon got up to leave the room

"No one said anything about that yet, Scar. We're gonna work this all out, OK?"

"Noooooo….pleeeeaaasseee don't leave me alone with her." Scarlett asked with such fear in her little voice it broke Deacon's heart. He knew that fear. He was scared of his father that way.

"C'mere. I'm not going anywhere. Mama and I are not leaving you with her." He pulled Scarlett back into his arms as she sobbed

"Promise?" she asked shaking

"I promise. Go to sleep, sweetie." He held her tight as she fell asleep

Deacon had been upstairs for more than an hour. Rayna and Maddie had finished the personal pizzas the way everyone liked them and they were ready for the oven. Beverley was feeding Mason some jarred prunes at the island. Rayna decided to check on Deacon and Scarlett after setting the oven timer and loading the pizza.

"The pizzas are in. Sausage and pepperoni, just the way you like it, Deacon." She said as she entered the room and closed the door behind her

Scarlett was sound asleep clinging to Deacon's neck. He was sweating, still in his suit jacket.

"Deacon, you're sweating. Put her down and take off the jacket, baby. What's wrong?" she asked seeing the anger in his face

"I didn't wanna wake her. She was so upset." He said finally putting Scarlett in her bed and covering her again.

Deacon was soaked as he removed his blazer and tie unbuttoning several buttons to cool off.

"Are you alright?" Rayna asked seeing the mess he was in

"Deacon, what's wrong?" Rayna asked worried

"I think Beverly may have done something to Scarlett."

"Like what? What do you mean?"

"I don't know for sure, Ray, but she's terrified of Bev. She begged me not to leave her alone with her, or let Bev take her away from us. She was clinging to me so tight. She's scared to death, Rayna."

"Poor kid. She's never said anything the whole time we've had her. I mean she's always been timid and wanting to please us, but never said for sure anything happened to her."

"Yeah, well neither did I at that age. I never admitted to anyone that my dad was abusive until I was probably 13, and then it was Rosa Mason, Vince's mom. Back then there wasn't much anyone did about it. I just suffered till I was 16, and left." Rayna wrapped an arm around Deacon as she sat on the arm chair next to him.

"What do you want to do, Deacon?"

"Beverly sure as hell isn't taking her anywhere until we find out what happened. I think we need to see a lawyer, Ray. Find out what our rights are as far as keeping her permanently away from Bev if needed."

"OK, but in the meantime I don't think upsetting Bev is a good idea. I'm not sure there's much we could do if she decided to take Scarlett."

"Why the hell did I agree to let her stay here?" Deacon sighed

"You didn't know, Deacon. We still really don't know."

"C'mon, let's get you in some dry clothes and have dinner. Just try to be nice to Bev until tomorrow. We'll see a lawyer, and see what we're dealing with." Rayna said kissing Deacon's cheek. She could see he was really shaken and this was bringing up painful memories from his own childhood.

"Is Scarlett OK?" asked Bev as they came downstairs. Deacon cringed as she held Mason. Rayna squeezed his hand reminding him to stay calm.

"She's not feeling very well. She's sleeping." Deacon told Bev coldly as he went to his bedroom for dry clothes

"I made your's with sausage and pepperoni daddy." Maddie announced proudly as Deacon joined them in the kitchen in dry sweats and T shirt for dinner.

"Thank you, baby. It looks delicious just like you." Deacon said as he playfully nibbled Maddie's ear as she squealed in delight

Dinner was quiet aside from Maddie chattering and Mason squealing for someone to pick up his toys so he could throw them down again.

Rayna took Scarlett's cheese only pizza upstairs as Beverly cleaned up the kitchen, and Deacon played with Maddie and Mason in a pillow and blanket fort on the living room floor.

"Hey Scar, are you hungry?" Rayna asked as Scarlett stared blankly at the wall

"You need to eat, sweetie." Rayna sat Scarlett up and put the tray in front of her on the bed

"Will you stay with me?" Scarlett asked

"Sure, eat your pizza. It's cheese only, your favorite." Rayna smiled and brushed blonde hair out of her eyes

"You're wheezing again, kiddo. We'll give you another breathing treatment before bed." Rayna said as Scarlett ate a couple small pieces of pizza.

"Can I sleep with you and daddy?" Scarlett asked Rayna close to tears again

"You'll have Maddie up here with you soon. Don't you wanna stay and watch TV with her before bed?"

"Noooo, I wannna sleeeepp with youuuu and daddddyyyy, pleeeaaseee?" she begged and climbed onto Rayna's lap sobbing again

"Shhhhh…calm down. You're fine. C'mon, you're wheezing. You're gonna have an asthma attack if you don't settle down." The wheezing became worse and Scarlett started to cough

"DEACON! GET HER NEBULIZER NOW!" Rayna yelled as she came downstairs with Scarlett in her arms and took her to their bedroom

Deacon was there with the machine in seconds, placing it on Scarlett's little face as he and Rayna layed with her between them.

"There you go, Scar. Sit up. Better?" Deacon asked as he sat her up

"Deep breath?"

"OK, you're just havin a hell of a night, kiddo. How about a eucalyptus bath?"

Deacon got he and Rayna's master bath suite nice and steamy with Rayna's eucalyptus oil bath hoping to help Scarlett relax. Rayna put Maddie to bed, reading her one story and agreeing to let her watch TV till she fell asleep. TV usually got Maddie to sleep with minimal fighting. Beverly entertained Mason until Rayna came back down from Maddie.

Deacon was still in a steamy bathroom with Scarlett as Rayna gave Mason his bedtime bottle and rocked him to sleep. He finally went to sleep and Rayna placed him in the pack and play.

"Why don't you go to bed Beverly? There's a TV upstairs with all the movie channels, and pay per view if you want to order a movie. There are extra blankets in the closet." Rayna said as she headed towards her bedroom to check on Scarlett

"What's going on with Scarlett?" Beverly asked

"Well, Beverly, she has asthma flare ups when she's upset. Deacon and I really don't understand why she's so upset tonight. Maybe you can shed some light on that?" Rayna asked

"I haven't seen her in a year and a half RAYNA! Why would I know?" Beverly sniped

"No reason. Night Beverly!" Rayna said slamming the bedroom door.


	24. Chapter 24

The Claybourne family was up early for a Monday morning. Scarlett was doing better after a night between Deacon and Rayna. She slept peacefully and seemed to feel safe with them. Neither Deacon nor Rayna had slept much worried about Scarlett and what the attorney would tell them later today.

They had decided to get up early and out of the house before Beverly came out of her room. Deacon was taking everyone to breakfast, and then to drop the girls off at school. He and Rayna had a 9am appointment with Kendra Hoskins, the same attorney who'd handled their legal guardianship request for Scarlett when she first came to stay with them.

Mason laughed happily on Deacon's lap as they sat in the lawyer's waiting room. They were both exhausted and the day had barely begun. Deacon was angry at Beverly for whatever she'd done to Scarlett, although he wasn't sure even what that was at this point. He just knew from Scarlett's reaction to having her in the house something was terribly wrong.

Rayna was tired and dreading her rehearsal with Luke later today. Deacon knew the rehearsals for the tour were beginning. He would rather ignore it, than think about it. Every tabloid story about Luke and Rayna, every recording session, the opry, the rehearsals, all seemed to set him off again. He wished he could just get over it, but as hard as he tried it was always there just below the surface. He often wondered if he'd ever really get past the affair.

"Mrs. Hoskins will see you now. Sorry for the delay." The receptionist finally said after 20 minutes in the waiting room.

"So sorry to keep you waiting. I got tied up on the phone." A slender brunette in a pin striped business suit said as they sat across from her.

"OK, so you're seeking full permanent custody of your niece? Is that correct?"

"Yes, we'd eventually like to legally adopt her and change her name to Claybourne." Deacon answered

"…and where's her mother? Your sister, correct?"

"At our house."

"uuuhhh, OK…so you have a good relationship with her? Will she easily agree to this?"

"Not exactly."

"She showed up yesterday outta the blue after no contact at all for a year and a half."

"Does she plan to take the child back?"

"Honestly, I have no idea what the hell she wants." Deacon replied

"OK, I'm just trying to understand why you're here, and what exactly it is you want me to do?" the lawyer asked confused

"My nieces has been terrified since Beverly showed up. I'm not sure what went on before we took Scarlett, but obviously there was some type of abuse or trauma. We just want to protect her, and make sure Beverly can't ever take her away, or hurt her again." Deacon explained

"How old is Scarlett?"

"6."

"OK, I remember filing the legal guardianship paperwork for you a couple years ago. At the time you thought Beverly would take her back once she got herself together. So, I'm assuming you've heard nothing from her since that time? Until now?" the lawyer asked

"Nope, not a damn word till she showed up on our doorstep yesterday. Isn't that considered abandonment, or somthin?" Deacon asked

"Not exactly. She did ask you to care for Scarlett. She didn't just up and leave her with no care."

"So you can just ditch your kid for more than a year and that's OK?" Deacon asked getting frustrated already

"Abandonment has a lot of factors. She did ask you to care for Scarlett. There was no agreed upon time to take her back, and Beverly's mental health at the time was questionable."

"We've got legal guardianship. She can't just take her, right?" Deacon asked handing Mason to Rayna as his blood pressure started to rise

"Unfortunately, yes. If she were to walk out the door with her now, she'd be completely within her parental rights. She never gave up those rights and she never gave up physical custody."

Deacon was up and pacing now.

"So what the hell does the legal guardianship we have, give us as far as protecting Scarlett from her?" he asked getting pissed this wasn't going well

"Legal guardianship simply gives you decision making power in a parents absence. In fact in Scarlett's case Beverly never legally agreed to anything. You and Rayna have a co-guardianship with Beverly. You were simply given the right to make medical and education decisions for Scarlett. At the time it was assumed Beverly would take her back."

"OK, WELL THINGS HAVE CHANGED. NOW WE WANT FULL LEGAL CUSTODY OF SCARLETT. I DON'T WANT BEV TO BE ABLE TO TAKE HER, MAYBE NOT EVEN SEE HER. HOW DO WE GET THAT?" Deacon was losing his temper

"Deacon, babe, please?" Rayna tried to grab his hand to make him sit down, but he was mad and pulled away

"Do you have reason to believe she's unfit other than Scarlett's reaction to her?"

"Before my mama died we think she was pretty much takin care of Scarlett. They lived 8 hours away. We only saw them a couple times a year. We're not really sure what went on there."

"Any odd or excessive medical or hospital visits when Scarlett was in Beverly and your mom's care?"

"Not that we know of, but we probably wouldn't have known if there were. We weren't close."

"I'm gonna be honest with you. It's very difficult to take a child away from a parent. You will need to prove she's unfit and can't care for Scarlett."

"JESUS, SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A JOB, OR A CAR. SHE SHOWED UP IN A CAB. THE HOUSE SHE'S BEEN LIVIN IN IS MY MOM'S. I DOUBT SHE CAN SUPPORT SCARLETT."

"OK, calm down Mr. Claybourne. I will do whatever I can to help you get custody of Scarlett and hopefully adopt her, but you need to understand it's not going to be easy if Beverly puts up a fight."

"How can she put up a fight without money to pay for an attorney?"

"There are free legal resources for single mothers. Also considering she's up against you two, who happen to be public figures, I would expect media attention once this gets out, and then she'll probably get free offers for help from higher profile attorneys."

"What about Scarlett's father? Where is he?"

"Lester? He hasn't wanted anything to do with Scarlett since she was around a year old. Bev said she was seeing him till Feb, but he left again."

"…but they were married?"

"They were for a few months, but he divorced her and ran off with another woman. He comes back off and on when he doesn't have anything better going on, but he doesn't care about Scarlett."

"He could be a loose end if he were to come back and get involved. We should probably find him and see if he'll give up parental rights."

"How long is all of this gonna take?" Deacon asked

"It might be years before it's resolved, and Beverly could get visitation or worse custody in the meantime."

"THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN!" Deacon snapped

"Mr. Claybourne I will do my best to legally keep that from happening, but if you do anything illegal you might jeopardize your chances."

"OK, so what do we need to do right now to make sure Bev can't take her?" Deacon sighed and tried to calm down.

"Since Bev has a history of mental problems and documented hospital stays we'll start there. We'll give a judge what we have now as far as that, and Scarlett's behavior since Bev's arrival. Hopefully he'll grant an emergency custody order. It's early. I'll get my paralegal started on it now. Hopefully we can see a judge in a few hours."

"Are you both prepared for that, today?"

"Yeah, you OK, Ray?"

"Yeah, I guess. I wasn't expecting it to be this complicated." Rayna said softly as she held Mason

"Then the real work begins to build a case for termination of Bev's parental rights. I want to find Lester to make sure he's not going to be an issue, and have him give up parental rights if he will. I'm gonna need you two to sign some forms for I can request Scarlett's medical history back to birth. If there was any abuse she was treated for we'll find it. I'd like to force Bev to take a psychiatric evaluation. I'd like Scarlett to see a therapist to see if she'll talk about whatever is bothering her."

"…and all of that's really necessary?" Deacon asked feeling overwhelmed

"If you want Scarlett, yes it is."

"OK, we'll do it."

"I'm hoping Beverly won't put up a fight, but if she does we need to be prepared. I'm going to tear her life and past apart in court to prove she can't care for Scarlett, and bring up abuse if we find proof. If she fights this and gets a good attorney's...Are you prepared for them to do the same?"

"Meaning what?" Rayna asked

"They're going to fight back. They'll dig into your past. Deacon's alcoholism. Your marriage issues. It's all going to come up, and you'll be asked to answer questions under oath."

"Are you ready for that?" The lawyer asked pointedly as Deacon and Rayna looked at each other.

"What's the alternative? We lose Scarlett? We'll deal with it." Deacon softly answered for both of them.

"OK, if you're sure. I'll get started on the emergency custody order and hopefully see a judge today."

Deacon buckled Mason into the back of the van. Rayna was quiet as he climbed into the driver's seat and sighed.

"I don't know about all of this, Deacon!"

"WHAT CHOICE DO WE HAVE, RAYNA? COULD YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF IF BEV TAKES HER AND SOMETHING HAPPENS?"

"Stop yelling, Deacon! I love that little girl too, but we have 2 other kids. If Beverly fights this, you know it's going to be a media circus. Our lives are going to be invaded. We'll have to talk about our marriage problems and your drinking under oath. Are you really ready to relive all of that again?"

"I'm already reliving it. You're going on tour with it." Deacon answered with little tone in his voice

"Deacon, please…don't…not now!" Rayna said voice cracking

"There's not enough time to go home. I'll take you to your rehearsal. Maybe Mace and I will watch." Deacon said as he started the van and pulled away from the lawyers office.

Rayna was quiet for a few miles as they headed across town to her tour rehearsal with Luke.

"Deacon, I really don't think you should come to this rehearsal. Not in the mood you're in."

"Relax, Rayna! I'll be holding the baby. What the hell do you think I'm gonna do?"

"…besides, what the hell else am I gonna do? I can't go home. I'll end up killing Bev. Hopefully we'll get the custody order today. I can kick her out tonight before Scarlett gets home, and not have to worry about her taking the kid." Deacon said voice still flat

Luke was already on the sound stage when they arrived. Jeff Fordham was sitting in the front row as Rayna and Deacon entered.

"ahhhhggg…Can this day get any worse?" Rayna said sarcastically as Jeff approached

"Deacon Claybourne! We finally meet." Jeff said holding out his hand to Deacon

"Didn't know you wanted to meet me." Deacon replied as he shook Jeff's hand

"…and this must be Mason?" Jeff said rubbing Mason's head

"Cute kid! Not sure where the tabloids got that "love child" crap. He's a miniature Deacon." Jeff purposely said to get a rise from Deacon

"You are such an ass, Jeff!" Rayna said climbing the stage steps to join Luke

"What, it was a joke." Jeff sarcastically replied. Luke had clearly filled him in on the affair and he planned to use it to his advantage.

"So, Deacon…I'm hearing great things from Belcort's writer's division. You're on fire with new material. Your shows are close to sell outs even without the wife. What would it take for Edgehill Republic to get you back?" Jeff asked Deacon

"I didn't much care for bein fired a few years back, Jeff! I think I'm good right where I am." Deacon coldly replied as he sat with Mason about half way back in the auditorium.

"Come on, we both know you took the hit for Rayna. She was the one who walked out on that tour. You know it was all politics. Someone had to take the fall. It was just business. I'm just sorry it cost you a few years of your career, but Edgehill is much bigger than Belcort. We want you back. Think about it."

"Nothin to think about. I'm done with Edgehill. I don't care for how you treat Rayna. Why the hell would I wanna come back?"

"Keep better tabs on the wife maybe?" Jeff sarcastically said as he walked away

Deacon knew he was just trying to get to him. He also knew Jeff and Luke were friends, and that could be bad for Rayna. He fed Mason and tried not to let Jeff's snide comments bother him, but it had gotten to him a bit. He really hated the fact that Rayna was going out on this tour. He watched the rehearsal for a couple hours until he couldn't take anymore of Rayna and Luke being all touchy feely singing love songs.

"How bout some fresh air Mace?" he asked Mason propping him on his shoulder as he exited the auditorium to get some fresh air.

His cell phone buzzed in his pocket as he walked the block with Mason trying to cool off after Jeff's snide remarks, but also try to deal with everything happening right now. He was feeling overwhelmed with both he and Rayna about to go on different tours. Scarlett and Bev. Trying to find a new nanny.

"Hello." He fumbled to hold the phone and the squirming baby.

"Mr. Claybourne, Kendra Hoskins. I have good news. The judge signed your emergency order for custody. Beverly can't take Scarlett from you. In fact until she undergoes a psychiatric evaluation she doesn't even have visitation."

"Thank you soo much for getting that done quick!" Deacon felt some relief. Scarlett wouldn't have to see Beverly again for a while, maybe never if he could help it.

"You can stop by my office and pick up a couple copies of the order."

"Yeah, we will in an hour or so. Thanks again." Deacon said hanging up

Deacon entered the rehearsal hall again. They were wrapping things up onstage. He approached with Mason to tell Rayna the good news about Bev. They were having a meeting of some sort. Deacon was surprised when Jeff called him to the stage.

"Deacon, could you come here a second?" Jeff asked

"What?"

"We need a duet single to finish the show. I'm hearing rave reviews about a new song you and Rayna sang at the Orpheum in Memphis "Remind Me." What would I have to do to get the rights?"

"It's not for sale." Deacon sniped glaring at Luke

"Come on Deacon. You're in the writing business to make money, right? It's a hit, and I checked with Belcort. They said you'd never given them that one, and it's not on your album list. Give it to Rayna."

"If I give it to Rayna, Edgehill owns it just like everything else I've written with Rayna. NO!"

Rayna wasn't saying anything. Deacon wasn't sure where she stood on the matter, but he wasn't about to give "Remind Me' to Luke Wheeler. He'd written it for Rayna, and didn't care if it ever got recorded.

"About done here?" Deacon asked Rayna

"Yeah, just a few more minutes if you wanna wait in the van?" she asked clearly trying to get rid of Deacon

"OK." He said grabbing the diaper bag and turning to go

Deacon got Mason settled in his car seat. He leaned back in the driver's seat to take a cat nap while he waited for Rayna.

"Sorry, Jeff wanted a meeting to discuss a few things." Rayna said as she slammed the door waking Deacon from his nap

"You don't seem to happy about it." Deacon said as he moved the seat back to a driving position and started the van

"He is such an ass."

"No argument there." Deacon tried to smile

"I'm sorry you had to deal with him, and all of his snide comments, Deacon."

"So, you're not giving him "Remind Me?" Rayna asked

"You want me to?" he asked

"We do need another duet. I'm sure Edgehill would pay a fortune for it."

"It's not for sale. I wrote it for you, Rayna. Doesn't that mean anything?"

"Of course it does, Deacon! I love the song, but it is just a song."

"Yeah, well it's a song you're not singin with HIM!"

"So that's what it's really about, Luke?"

"I don't wanna talk about him."

"On a better note…we got the emergency order for custody. Bev can't take Scarlett from us. She can't even see her until she gets a psychiatric evaluation."

Rayna was quiet in the passenger seat. Mason had fallen asleep. They drove in silence the rest of the way to the lawyers office to pick up the emergency order.

"I'll be right back. No point waking Mason." Deacon said as he exited the van

Deacon was only gone 5 minutes. Rayna was still quiet as he climbed back in the van.

"Are you that upset about the damn song?" Deacon finally asked after several minutes of silence from Rayna

"How many times am I gonna have to apologize before it's enough, Deacon?" Rayna whispered close to tears

"What?" Deacon snapped

"About Luke? It doesn't seem to matter how good things are between us. It's always there."

"Rayna, we have other things to deal with tonight. I need to figure out what the hell to do with Beverly. We need to start looking for a nanny. We've possibly got a hell of a custody battle to deal with. The last thing I wanna talk about is Luke Wheeler."

"I'm not gonna apologize anymore, Deacon. It's been more than a year. We've both survived major health scares. We renewed our vows. We've had another baby. When is it enough? When can I feel like we're really OK?"


	25. Chapter 25

"Ray….RAYNA?" Deacon yelled as she slammed the van door in the driveway and stormed into the house.

Neither had said another word on the 15 minute drive home since Rayna's statement that she was done apologizing about the Luke and the affair.

Deacon carried a sleeping Mason into the house, taking him upstairs to his nursery. He closed the nursery room door, hoping the baby would sleep for a couple hours.

Rayna had gone to their bedroom and slammed the door. Deacon heard the jets in the tub. He hoped she'd soak away some stress and be a little more tolerable after her bath.

"Nice of everyone to just up and ditch me all day!" Beverly sniped as Deacon came down the stairs

"We didn't know you were even coming. You've been MIA for a damn year and a half. What the hell'd you expect us to do, drop everything and entertain your ass?" Deacon asked as he sat in his recliner across from Beverly on the couch.

"What time does Scarlett get out of school? Can I borrow one of your cars and pick her up? I think she needs some alone time with her mama, without you and Rayna to coddle her, and keep her away from me like you did last night." Beverly clearly irritated about Scarlett's closeness to Deacon and Rayna sniped

Deacon didn't answer as he sat contemplating how to deliver the blow that Beverly wouldn't be seeing Scarlett, and needed to leave their home.

"Well…how about the vet? I'd love to drive that." Beverly sneered

"No way in hell Rayna would let you drive that, Bev."

"Yeah, I saw the bow and card on the car. Queen Rayna gets a corvette, and I get carnations for Mother's Day! Nice, Deke!" Beverly's jealousy and resentment of Rayna was oozing from her lips.

"Ya think maybe that has something to do with the fact that Rayna's been a mother to her kids and yours, and you've been off with Lester ignoring your kid." Deacon snapped

"I'm here now, DEACON! Speaking of MY kid, why is she calling you and Rayna mom and dad? Letting you take her was obviously a mistake! You've turned her into a whining, sniveling BRAT! She wouldn't even hug me last night."

"She was having an asthma attack, BEVERLY! Don't you get that? SHE COULDN'T BREATHE!"

"She's FINE, DEACON! It's all drama and part of her act for attention. She needs discipline and needs to learn some respect. You and Rayna do nothing but baby her and indulge her every whim. Of course she's gonna play up the sick act as long as you let her."

"IT'S NOT A DAMN ACT, BEVERLY! THE KID HAS SEVERE ASTHMA! SHE'S SEEN THE BEST DOCTORS! WE HAD IT PRETTY WELL UNDER CONTROL UNTIL YOU SHOWED UP. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HER BEFORE WE TOOK HER? SHE'S TERRIFIED OF YOU!"

"OF ME? I HARDLY THINK SO, DEACON! SHE JUST DOESN'T WANT TO GO WITH ME BECAUSE YOU'VE TURNED HER INTO A MATERIALISTIC LITTLE DIVA JUST LIKE RAYNA AND MADDIE! I LOOKED AROUND HERE TODAY. EVERY DAMN TOY SHE COULD IMAGINE. NICE LITTLE KIDDIE CADILLCS TO MATCH RAYNA'S. INGROUND POOL IN THE BACKYARD! CLOSET FULL OF CLOTHES, DRESSES, SHOES. WHEN I ASKED YOU TO TAKE HER I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU TO TURN HER INTO A SPOILED ROTTEN BRAT, DEACON!"

"YA DONE?" Deacon yelled getting more pissed by the second listening to Beverly's tirade

"NO, I'M LEAVING, AND I'M TAKING SCARLETT WITH ME. THIS ISN'T HOW I WANT HER RAISED!"

"YOU'RE LEAVIN ALRIGHT, BUT YOU'RE NOT TAKIN SCARLETT NOW OR EVER!" Deacon shot back

"I NEVER GAVE UP CUSTODY, DEACON! SHE'S MY DAUGHTER, AND YOU CAN'T KEEP HER AWAY FROM ME!"

"I'VE GOT A COURT ORDER THAT SAYS I CAN! GO GET YOUR DAMN BAG! I'M TAKING YOU TO A HOTEL. YOU'RE NOT WELCOME HERE ANYMORE. WE'LL SEE YOU IN COURT." Deacon yelled throwing the court order in front of Beverly on the coffee table.

"THIS ISN'T OVER, DEACON! SOME BROTHER! I NEEDED HELP, AND NOW YOU'RE TRYING TO TAKE SCARLETT AWAY FROM ME?"

"GET YOUR BAG! I'LL BE IN THE TRUCK! I'M DONE TALKIN!"

Beverly stomped up the stairs to get her suitcase. She slammed the bedroom door, waking Mason. Deacon climbed the stairs to get him as he began to scream in the nursery.

"Dammit." He mumbled as he tried unsuccessfully to rock the baby back to sleep.

"Can you get out, and take him, please?" Deacon asked Rayna as he disturbed her bath with a fussy Mason, who clearly was not happy to be awaken from his nap. He now had a fussy wife, clearly not happy to be disturbed from her bath.

"I'll get rid of Bev, and pick up the girls. You want me to get something for dinner?" he asked handing Rayna her bathrobe, and then Mason.

"Whatever the girls want is fine." She replied taking Mason to the kitchen for a bottle, barely looking at Deacon.

"Fine." He replied as he opened the garage door where Beverly was already waiting in the truck.

Beverly continued her tirade as Deacon drove her to a Super 8. He ignored her, not bothering to respond. He was feeling mentally and emotionally drained after a long day of stress, which clearly wasn't over with an unhappy wife at home.

He picked up the girls, and Chinese for dinner at Maddie's request. Maddie bounded into the kitchen full of energy with the bags of Chinese for dinner. Scarlett lingered in the truck.

"It's OK, sweetie. She's gone." Deacon said as he gently kissed her forehead and carried her into the kitchen

"…and I get to stay?" Scarlett asked sniffling and clinging to his neck as he tried to put her down in a kitchen table chair

"Yeah, you get to stay. This is your home. You're not going anywhere." He said as Scarlett finally relaxed and let go of his neck

"Deacon!" Rayna hissed from across the kitchen motioning him out to the deck away from the girls

"What, Rayna?" he sniped back as soon as the sliding door was closed and the girls were out of earshot

"You shouldn't tell her that. What if Beverly fights this? You heard what the lawyer said. Beverly could get visitation or custody before this is over."

"Beverly is never touching her again!" Deacon snapped

"…and what are you gonna do if she wins? She'll have a court order. We'll have no choice, but to give her back, Deacon!" Rayna said voice cracking thinking about it and what it would do to Scarlett.

"C'mere, can we just not think about that right now? Please, Ray? It's been a hell of a day. I don't wanna fight about Beverly, or Luke, or the damn tours, or the damn song…." He sighed exasperated after a long stressful day.

"C'mere, please?" he asked again as Rayna finally let him take her in his arms and just hold her

"I got you sweet and sour chicken. Can we just have a quiet family dinner, and a drama free night?"

"OK, you're right, babe. Scarlett needs a quiet night, and after today so do we. Thank you for not losing your temper with Jeff today. I wanted to deck him. I was surprised you didn't." Rayna said as she wrapped her arms around Deacon

"I wanted to, but what would that have accomplished. He'd just take it out on you, and I don't want that."

"Nice to have the bed to ourselves tonight." Deacon said as he slipped under the sheets and pulled Rayna close, kissing the back of her neck.

All 3 kids had been cooperative and easily went to sleep. The girls were both out before Deacon finished Kiss the Girl. Mason had barely finished his bottle before falling asleep in Deacon's arms. He was sleeping through the night now and in his nursery upstairs.

She was still awake, but pretended to be asleep. She still had times when she felt uninterested and unattached to Deacon. As the tour got closer and his apprehension about her going on tour with Luke grew it was becoming a problem again. Deacon didn't want to discuss Luke at all, but the tension was still there. Rayna was feeling like things would never really feel right again.

She knew she'd hurt Deacon in the worst way possible and the fact that they were even still together was a miracle. Deacon admitted to his mistakes and took responsibility for pushing her to Luke, but he still seemed to blame her entirely especially when he was mad or upset about anything. His snide comments hurt. When she asked him if he was ready to relive all their marriage issues through a custody battle he'd said he already was reliving it.

Every snide comment just made her feel further and more detached from Deacon. She couldn't really talk to him about it. Every time Luke came up he'd say he didn't want to talk about Luke Wheeler. Deacon knew she was awake, but he didn't push it. He was tired. He whispered "I love you, Ray" and kissed her neck a few more times before rolling to his own side and drifting off to sleep.

The nanny interview process began early the next morning. Deacon returned from taking the girls to school. Rayna was talking to an older woman in the living room as Mason toddled around in his walker.

"So you'd need every other weekend off?" Rayna asked as Deacon entered the room

"Yes, sorry, but my daughter has my grandkids those weekends and she has to work. I watch them for her. If I could bring them here and watch all the kids it might work?" the woman suggested

"How many kids and ages?" asked Deacon as he sat down next too Rayna

"6 months to 9 years and there are 5 kids." She replied as Deacon nodded no to Rayna

"I'm sorry. This is my husband, Deacon." Rayna said as Deacon reached for the woman's hand

"…and this is Gina Roland, our first interview today." She told Deacon

"Nice to meet you Gina, but Rayna and I will be gone for days at a time especially weekends. I really wouldn't feel comfortable with 8 kids to one adult with a pool in the backyard. Sorry, but I think we need to keep interviewing, Ray."

"Next…" Rayna sighed as Gina left and they waited for the next interview

"OK, so you're engaged and you'd want your fiancé to move in here with you, should you get the job?" asked Rayna to candidate #2 Jane Chris

"Yes, we'd like to get out of his mom's basement. It would be pointless to rent a place if I'm gonna be living here most of the time."

"I hadn't considered a couple, but I guess it's not a deal breaker." Rayna said looking at Deacon

"We'd need to interview your fiancé and go through everything with him. When could he meet with us? We'll also need an application and his social security number for the background check." Said Deacon

"…but I'd be the one taking the job. Why would Bryan need to go through everything with you?"

"If he's going to be living in our home, with our children, while we're away we need to check him out too." Said Rayna

"He just got out of jail. I don't think he'll agree to a background check."

"Thanks for your time, but I think we'll pass. Good luck to you." Deacon said ending the interview

"3rd times a charm, right?" Deacon smiled as Jane slammed the front door

"I weeded through so many applications. These are the best. So far not impressed in person." Rayna sighed as Deacon answered the door

"I'd really rather take the children to may place when you're both away." An older woman explained to Deacon and Rayna

"Well, I guess we could come to your place and check things out, but we'd really feel better if the kids remain here. It's a secured neighborhood with armed guards at the entrances. We have an alarm system. We have to take certain precautions being in the public eye." Rayna explained

"So, you'd want me to live here possibly for weeks at a time?" asked the woman

"I'm gone a week at the most. I'm usually home for 3 weeks between touring." Answered Deacon

"…but during the 3 weeks home I work Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. I'd need your help, but you could have Sunday through Tuesday afternoon off when I'm not touring, and mornings I could be with the kids." Deacon tried to reassure her it wouldn't be 24/7 all the time.

"I'm just not sure this is for me. I kinda want a 9-5 and home nights." The woman said

"Sorry, that's not us." Rayna said ending that interview

"#4" Deacon said getting up for the doorbell

"Rayna this is Lauren Mills." Deacon said as he led a young, attractive, blonde girl into the living room with his hand on her back

"I just love both of you and all of your music. You're amazing together. I was at Deacon's Orpheum show last week. It was sooo amazing to get Rayna Jaymes too." The young girl gushed

"Oh, so you're a Deacon fan?" Rayna asked

"Yeah, my mama use to play his first album all the time when I was like 12. I about fainted just now when he answered the door. I had no idea this job was you guys."

"Well, thanks for coming to the show last week." Deacon actually blushed a little. For the first time EVER Rayna felt a little pang of jealousy. Deacon had never paid much attention to other women, much less react with blushing.

"What's your availability? You're the one that said you were taking classes when we spoke on the phone, correct?" Rayna asked

"Yes, but I'll be done for the summer next week. I can schedule next semester around your schedules or even take everything online if I could have an internet connection here."

"I don't see why that would be a problem. The Claybournes could use some technology maybe a computer for the girls too." Deacon agreed next to Rayna

"So, you'd be available pretty much 24/7 with varying weeks?" Rayna asked almost hoping for a conflict

"Yep, no problems. I'd love to spend the summer with your kids by the pool." Lauren responded as Rayna thought "Great, she'll be in a bikini in front of Deacon all summer."

"What are your hobbies, interests?" Rayna asked and regretted it almost immediately

"I came to Nashville hoping to make it big in country music. I love to write and perform at small bars around town. Been tryin to get a Bluebird gig, but seems ya gotta know someone." She smiled a wide pretty, perfect teeth, sparkling eyes smile that Rayna was sure went Deacon's direction

"Well, now you know someone. I'll see what I can do, Lauren." Deacon seemed a bit taken with Lauren

"So your application says you've been waitressing since you got here last year?" Rayna asked

"Yeah, but I'm not very good at it." Lauren laughed

"I know someone else who wasn't very good at it back in the Bluebird days." Deacon playfully poked Rayna

"I wasn't THAT bad!" Rayna snapped back

"Uh huh…her first night, I was bartending. I had to fix just about every damn order and beg customers not to leave." Deacon laughed

"…and you still drove me home that night." Rayna reminded him of the night they officially met

"I'm a sucker for helpless women." Deacon laughed again watching Lauren

"Back to the nanny subject…what's your child care experience?" Rayna asked hoping for a reason to say no to Lauren

"I took lots of child care classes in high school, and I worked for my mama at her home day care for 3 years before coming to Nashville last year. We had 15-20 kids most days. Ages 6 months to 5 years. I'm certified in CPR, and have a commercial child care license in Iowa." Lauren responded with nothing Rayna could even begin to tear apart.

"Could you give us a minute, Lauren?" Deacon asked as he pulled Rayna into the home studio and closed the soundproof door

"She's perfect! I say we hire her on the spot." Deacon said as soon as the door was closed

"I haven't called in her background check, or …."

"Rayna, don't let this one get away." He interrupted her

"We'll go ahead and hire her now. Run the damn check while I show her around the house."

"I dunno, Deacon. It's awfully quick."

"RAYNA! Come on. Have a little faith. She seems like a good kid. Give her a chance." Deacon seemed to be a one man cheering section for Lauren.

"Look, neither of us leaves for a few weeks. We have some time to get her acquainted with the kids while we're here. Let's see how she does a night at a time. What's the problem?"

Rayna couldn't come up with a single valid reason not to give Lauren a chance. She couldn't very well admit to Deacon that for the first time ever she was jealous as hell about another woman.

"OK, we'll give her a chance." Rayna agreed

Lauren had a laughing, smiling Mason in her arms as Deacon and Rayna exited the home studio.

"I'm sorry. He started crying when you left the room. I couldn't resist picking him up. He's adorable. He looks so much like his daddy." Lauren apologized looking at Deacon

"No, no problem. I think he likes his new nanny." Deacon smiled at Lauren

"You mean….? You're hiring me? REALLY?" Lauren was all smiles

"Rayna's gonna check your references and run the background check. I'll show you around the house." Deacon said as Rayna disappeared into the office hoping something would come up in the back ground check, but it didn't. The girl was a saint.

"We'll start upstairs and work our way down." Deacon said leading Lauren upstairs with his hand on her back again. Lauren still had Mason in her arms.

"This is the nanny suite. We'll decorate however you want. Pick the colors and bedding. We'll take care of it. I never liked this putrid pink the last nanny wanted, but we agreed to whatever she wanted too." Deacon explained his disdain for the mostly mauve Maria had wanted.

"It is pretty hideous." Lauren agreed

"We'll fix it." Deacon smiled

"This is the nursery. Mason just started sleeping up here all night, every night. He's good for 7 to 9 hours solid most nights now unless someone wakes him, and then he's pretty crabby."

"I don't believe that. He's so happy." Lauren tickled Mason making him squeal in her arms

"He has a dark side. Like his old man." Deacon smiled at how well Mason was taking to Lauren

"I'm not sure I believe you have a dark side either." Lauren was really getting on Deacon's good side

"Next is the kids shared bathroom."

"The girls share this room. We had planned to separate them, but it's been crazy. We haven't had a chance to finish the remodel, and now that we need a full time nanny, we're short a room unless we combine the office and home studio downstairs to make another bedroom."

"This is our bedroom and the office Rayna and I share. These are the only 2 rooms that are off limits."

"You've seen the living room, foyer…"

"This is the home studio. Rayna and I work at home sometimes. It's normally been a private room too, but I don't see why we can't let you try it out sometime."

"Very nice. So it's all soundproof?" Lauren asked looking at the cushioned walls

"Yep, you can scream and beat on drums till your ears bleed. No one can hear it. We fight in here when we don't want the kids to hear us." Deacon joked making Lauren laugh

"You two seem so in love. I can't believe you fight about anything."

"Haha….well you're in for quite a surprise then. We have our days." Deacon laughed again

"Kitchen, pantry, basement steps…the basement isn't finished. It's just the furnace, water heater and storage."

"This is a separate door that leads out to the pool. There are alarms on every access point to the pool including the electric cover. Any get opened and it sets an alarm off. It's always armed unless we're out there with the kids."

"4 car garage. We do provide a car for transporting the kids. We let the last nanny pretty much have the car all the time even when she wasn't working."

"I'm guessing it's not the vet?" Lauren joked as Deacon led her to the garage

"I don't even get to drive that much. It's Rayna's. We might be able to sneak it out while she's on tour." Deacon joked

"This is the nanny mobile. Not glamorous, but with 3 kids a van seemed like the most logical. It's yours as long as you're employed with us. I'll get you a set of keys. We take care of all maintenance, fuel."

"I think that's about it for the grand tour. Let's go see where Rayna is with the checks and we need you to sign a few things." Deacon was all smiles as he led Lauren into the office

"OK, everything is great. We need you to sign a few things. These are for payroll and tax forms. This is a non-disclosure agreement. Have you seen one of these before?" asked Rayna

"No, but I've heard about them." Lauren said handing Mason to Deacon so she could fill out the forms

"Basically it says that you won't disclose anything to anyone about our lives, our address, the kids, anything you hear while in our home. We do our best to maintain privacy and we try to shield the kids from tabloids and other negative media. We had an issues with our last nanny and tabloids. We'd appreciate it If you don't bring anything like that into the house." Rayna explained as Deacon played with a still very happy Mason

"OK, I guess that's it. When can you start?" asked Deacon

"uuhhhh well, I have classes Thursday and Friday, and then I'm done with school for the summer. I can start now if you'd like." Lauren agreed

"Great, I need to pick up the girls before my opry gig tonight. You can come, meet them and the teachers and learn where the school is for pick ups and drop offs."

"Do you plan to move in here? …or will you be keeping your own place too?" asked Rayna

"Well, I'm single and I date so I think I'll keep my small studio apartment, but for the most part I'll live here if that's OK?"

"Great, super! Do you need help moving anything?" Rayna asked

"Just clothes, and personal items. I have a few guitars. I'll leave the furniture at the apartment."

"OK, I'll get one of my assistants to help you and bring a truck."

"You don't have to do that, Ray. I'll do it. I have a few hours now before I need to be at the opry. We'll take the truck, get some boxes, pick up the girls and be back by 5:30ish" Deacon said as he handed Mason to Rayna

"Well, OK, then…" Rayna fumed as Deacon pulled out of the garage with Lauren in the truck. He didn't even try to kiss Rayna goodbye. She knew things were a little tense between them right now, but he rarely left without a kiss.


	26. Chapter 26

Everyone was thrilled with Lauren, except Rayna. Deacon had picked up the girls, and helped Lauren move into the Claybourne household. He'd carried the last of her boxes up to the nanny suite just in time to take a quick shower and rush off to the opry for his Tuesday night band leader gig.

Rayna was in the kitchen getting dinner for the kids when Lauren came down. She had no reason not to like Lauren. She was the perfect candidate for the nanny position. Rayna hadn't been able to find anything to deny her the job, and she'd tried. She knew her jealousy was completely unwarranted and Lauren deserved a chance. She'd just never seen Deacon react that way with any other woman, and she was jealous as hell.

"Did you get all settled?" Rayna asked as Lauren joined her in the kitchen

"Yes, thank you for everything." Lauren said as she picked up all of Mason's toys setting them on his walker tray to throw on the floor again

"Will you color with us, Lauren?" Maddie asked from the kitchen table

"Sure, what are we coloring?"

"You can pick a book." Replied Scarlett shoving a pile of coloring books towards Lauren

"Do you need help with dinner, Rayna?" Lauren politely asked after coloring for a few minutes

"No, go ahead and color. I'm just making spaghetti. Nothing fancy. Do you like spaghetti?" Rayna asked

"Love it. I use to make it for the daycare kids at least once a week back in Iowa."

"Do you have any family here in Nashville, or are they all back in Iowa?" asked Rayna trying to make small talk and get to know Lauren a little

"No, just me and the few people I've become friends with from waitressing and singing gigs around town."

"You have us now." Scarlett sweetly told Lauren

"I know, and I'm so happy to get to know you and live here with you." Lauren smiled as Scarlett hugged her and went back to coloring.

"You have guitars like daddy. He plays songs for us before bed. Can you play us songs at bedtime?" asked Maddie

"uuummm…sure, but I don't want to take your special time away from your mom and dad." Lauren was trying to learn the boundaries with Rayna

"Mommy doesn't play guitar. Daddy says she sucks at it. That's why she has him." Maddie said as Lauren tried not to laugh

"Thanks Mads. What is this pick on Rayna day? I suck at waitressing, and now guitar." Rayna was feeling a little ganged up on

"Put your coloring books away. Dinner is almost ready. Wash your hands and set the table."

Lauren helped Rayna clean up the kitchen after dinner. She also helped with Maddie and Scarlett's bedtime routine. They took baths and picked out tomorrow's school clothes. Both girls requested Lauren play guitar for them at bedtime in Deacon's absence. Rayna sat in the nursery rocking Mason to sleep as Lauren started strumming her guitar in the girls room.

"Have you seen Aladdin?" Lauren asked

"We have all the Disney movies downstairs." Maddie told her

"We'll have to have a movie and popcorn night soon. I love Disney movies." Lauren told the girls

"Can we have candy too?" asked Scarlett

"uuuuhhhh….I dunno. Do your parents let you have candy?" Lauren asked still feeling out the boundaries

"Daddy does more than mommy, but he says not to tell her." Maddie said ratting out Deacon

"I see." Said Lauren as she launched into A Whole New World a little self-conscious knowing Rayna Jaymes was listening in the next room.

I can show you the world  
>Shining, shimmering, splendid<br>Tell me, princess, now when did  
>You last let your heart decide?<p>

I can open your eyes  
>Take you wonder by wonder<br>Over, sideways and under  
>On a magic carpet ride<p>

A whole new world  
>A new fantastic point of vie<p>

No one to tell us no  
>Or where to go<br>Or say we're only dreaming

A whole new world  
>A dazzling place I never knew<br>But when I'm way up here  
>It's crystal clear<br>That now I'm in a whole new world with you  
>Now I'm in a whole new world with you<p>

Unbelievable sights  
>Indescribable feeling<br>Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling  
>Through an endless diamond sky<p>

A whole new world  
>Don't you dare close your eyes<br>A hundred thousand things to see  
>Hold your breath - it gets better<br>I'm like a shooting star  
>I've come so far<br>I can't go back to where I used to be

A whole new world  
>Every turn a surprise<br>With new horizons to pursue  
>Every moment red-letter<br>I'll chase them anywhere  
>There's time to spare<br>Let me share this whole new world with you

A whole new world  
>A whole new world<br>That s where well be  
>That's where we'll be<br>A thrilling chase  
>A wondrous place<br>For you and me

Deacon slipped between the sheets with Rayna a little before midnight. The house was quiet. The kids had long been asleep. Lauren was asleep in her new room. He wrapped his arms around Rayna the familiar way he always did. He expected a repeat of last night. She'd fake being asleep. He sensed a distance growing between them again, but wasn't completely sure why. Rayna had been better, but since the rehearsals with Luke began she was distant again.

"I love you, Ray." He whispered like he always did after a few soft kisses on the nape of her neck.

He was about to roll back to his side of the bed when Rayna surprised him. Instead of ignoring him and pretending to be asleep like she usually did when there was distance and tension between them, she turned in his arms and kissed him hard and passionately on the lips.

"I want you, Deacon!" she whispered low and raspy running her fingers down his back a little rougher than she usually did.

"Not sure what's gotten into you, Ray, but I kinda like this aggressive side of you." He whispered back as he roughly kissed her chest moving down slowly to remove her panties.

"Harder, Deacon." She moaned as he gently inserted himself between her legs

"You sure, baby? You're still kinda tender. I don't wanna hurt you." He wanted to give her whatever she wanted, but it hadn't been that long since her hysterectomy and he really didn't want to cause any pain.

"I want you, Deacon. All of you. Don't hold back." She scraped his neck with her teeth driving him crazy as he deepened the thrusts, and the kisses.

"More." She moaned and dragged her fingers through his thick hair soaked with sweat from the physical exertion as he continued the hard thrusts.

"Don't stop, Deacon!" she begged as he began to tire

He rolled onto his back keeping himself tight against Rayna.

"Take over, Ray. I need a minute to catch my breath." he barely managed to get out as Rayna kept the deep thrusts going on top of him.

"Second wind!" he groaned rolling back on top of Rayna and continued the deep thrusts as she lay breathless beneath him.

He finished and collapsed against Rayna. Both struggling to catch their breath. Both hot, sweaty, messes after almost an hour of the most aggressive sex they'd ever had.

"I don't know where the hell that came from, but you can do it anytime, baby!" he whispered when he finally caught his breath enough to speak.

"I need a shower to cool off. Wanna join me?" he asked as he pulled away from Rayna, their sticky bodies stuck to each other.

"Again, Deacon!" Rayna begged against the shower wall as the cool water cascaded over them

"I came in here to cool off, Ray. You're not helpin much." He whispered winded as he forced her against the wall.

"Deeper, Deacon!" she pleaded as he continued long, slow, deep trusts against the shower wall.

"Goddamn, you're a wild woman tonight, Ray!" He moaned as he finished a second time and leaned against the wall to steady himself on shaky legs

Freshly showered and back in bed Rayna planted gentle kisses down his chest, around his neck, behind his ears stopping to nibble his earlobe.

"I need you again, Deacon. I can't get enough of you tonight." She whispered breathily in his ear as she continued to drag her teeth along his neck

"Fuck, Rayna…where is this coming from?" he whispered in the dark exhausted from the first two overly aggressive sessions.

"You're gonna have to give me a little bit, Ray." He closed his eyes as she continued the aggressive nibbling assault on his neck moving down his chest, abs, and taking him into her mouth until his arousal returned.

"Did that help?" she moaned breathily as she worked her way back up to his lips for another heavy make out session

"I might have one more in me tonight." He whispered as he gently inserted himself again. This time making sweet, gentle love to his wife the way he usually did.

He collapsed on his own side of the bed to cool off again after finishing a 3rd time in less than 2 hours. Rayna finally seemed content, as she layed her head on his chest listening as his heartbeat slowly returned to normal.

Rayna's side of the bed was empty as Deacon awoke to sunlight streaming in. He glanced at the clock. It was after 9am. He slowly stood up. His legs still felt wobbly as he dressed in sweats and a T shirt.

"Thank you." He whispered as he wrapped himself around Rayna and kissed the nape of her neck at the kitchen counter.

"Thank you, babe." She smiled and turned in his arms for a long morning kiss

"Where's Lauren?" Deacon asked as he poured his first cup of coffee and sat at the table with the paper

"I had her take the girls to school, and gave her a shopping list." Rayna said as she joined Deacon at the kitchen table

"Mason?" Deacon asked

"She wanted to take him."

"So, things are going well? Everything was OK last night with her?" Deacon asked

"Yeah, she seems good with the kids. They like her. She played Maddie and Scarlett A Whole New World last night. She's really good, Deacon. You were right." Rayna smiled across the table at him

"What was that? I think I need to hear it again." He joked

"Shut up." Rayna threw a piece of toast at him laughing

"Seriously, woman! What is up with you? You wore my ass out last night 3 TIMES, and now you're telling me…what was it? "I was right!" Deacon was laughing now

The light hearted morning alone was short lived. Deacon's cell phone rang on the counter.

"Hello."

"Mr. Claybourne, Kendra Hoskins. I have some information about Scarlett's medical history. It seems there were numerous doctor and hospital visits from the time she was around 1 to 4."

"For what?" asked Deacon

"Well, there's a clear pattern of abuse. The Department of Children and Family Services was involved at one point. It seems your mother took custody of Scarlett and the medical visits stopped so the case was dropped."

"What were the medical visits for?" asked Deacon

"There are several, but one was for burns. Scarlett was about 18 months old and admitted for burns after being placed in a bathtub that was too hot. She had 2 broken arms between 2 or 3 years of age, both breaks were inconsistent with falls which was the reason given. There was one when she was 3 and a half for stitches on the back of the head. That was the one DCFS became involved in. She needed 21 stitches to close a gash. The ER doctor called DCFS because the mother said she fell out of bed, but Scarlett told them Beverly hit her."

"OK, thanks. So, what happens now?" Deacon asked

"I'm sorry Scarlett was abused, but we have proof now. I don't think it's going to be as bad as we thought to get custody and terminate Beverly's rights. If she does fight she'll have to answer for the abuse in front of a judge and explain why she should get Scarlett back."

"So far I haven't heard from anyone. She hasn't even tried to fight the emergency order yet."

"We're looking for Lester, but so far haven't found him."

"OK, thanks." Deacon said hanging up

Before Rayna could even ask what was wrong his coffee cup was shattered against the kitchen wall.

"Deacon, what the hell was that about?" Rayna asked

"She abused her. I knew she did. Scarlett was terrified as soon as I took her near Beverly the other night. She was shaking. I never should have…." Deacon trailed off as tears ran down his cheeks

"You didn't know. It's OK. Now we know, and Scarlett never has to see her again, right?" Rayna asked as she wrapped her arms around Deacon.

"I dunno. Kendra said so far Beverly hasn't even challenged the emergency custody order. I guess we wait and see if she does." Deacon said as he held Rayna a little tighter

"Where did you take Beverly?"

"Super 8 all the way on the other side of town."

"She can't stay there forever without a job and means of support. Hopefully she'll go back to Mississippi." Rayna tried to reassure Deacon

"Other than mom's house she doesn't really have anything to go back to." Deacon responded softly

"You don't think she'll leave Nashville?"

"I have no idea what the hell she'll do, Ray. Why did she suddenly show up after more than a year? She obviously wants something, but I can't imagine it's Scarlett. She doesn't even have a job or a way to support herself. Why would she want a kid to support? It doesn't make sense." Deacon said as he pondered what Bev's real motives to come back after more than a year might be.

"Money?" Rayna asked

"Maybe, but she didn't ask for anything."

"What if we go talk to her? If we tell her we know about the abuse, maybe she'll sign adoption forms without a fight?"

"I dunno, Ray. I don't really want you to have to deal with her. She's so hateful and resentful towards you. I'll go alone to talk to her."

"Deacon, we're supposed to be in this marriage 50/50. You can't keep shutting me out when you don't want me involved or don't want to deal with something, or talk about something."

"I'M NOT, RAYNA!"

"YOU ARE, DEACON! You don't want me involved in this. You keep making snide comments about Luke, yet refuse to talk about him."

"WHAT THE HELL DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH LUKE?"

"NOTHING! It's just something else you're shutting me out of, or refusing to talk about. I dunno, Deacon. Lately I just feel like were avoiding the real issues and having all these stupid fights. We make up, but it's always ….there."

"YOU STILL FEEL GUILTY! I GET THAT, BUT THAT'S NOT MY FAULT, RAYNA!"

"DID YOU EVER THINK MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU FLY OFF THE HANDLE WITH EVERY DAMN TABLOID STORY, AND TAKE EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO GET IN THESE LITTLE DIGS. HOW CAN I NOT FEEL GUILTY WHEN IT OBVIOULSY STILL BOTHERS YOU SO MUCH?"

"WHAT THE HELL DO YA WANT ME TO DO, RAYNA? I WISH LIKE HELL I COULD JUST FORGET ABOUT LUKE WHEELER, BUT I CAN'T, ALRIGHT? YOU'RE GOING OUT ON THIS DAMN TOUR WITH HIM IN LESS THAN 3 WEEKS…AND HONESTLY, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I'M GONNA GET THROUGH IT." He yelled with tears in his eyes

Lauren walked in with Mason. She'd obviously heard them arguing, but was polite. She put Mason in his walker and turned to go get the groceries from the van.

"I gotto go. I have rehearsal in less than an hour." Rayna softly said. She kissed Mason, grabbed her purse, and was gone without another word.

"Need some help?" Deacon asked Lauren as he met her in the garage and took bags from her.

"Yeah, I'll get the last two. Thanks." She replied not looking him in the eye after the awkwardness of walking in on their fight.

"Sorry you saw that." Deacon apologized as they put groceries away

"None of my business. I knew taking the job meant I'd see the good and bad." She smiled

"Yeah, but second day. Guess I warned ya we have our days. This is one of 'em." Deacon tried to smile

"Hey, you said I could pick out colors for the bedroom. How about purple?" Lauren suggested trying to lighten the mood and change the subject

"Whatever you want. Purple, huh? OK, Let me get dressed. How about a trip to the hardware store for the paint, and we can stop at that Bed, Bath, and Beyond for matching bedding." Deacon said as he turned to go get dressed

"Oh, you're gonna do it? I just figured you'd have a decorator." She said surprised Deacon Claybourne would paint a bedroom, or shop for supplies.

"Rayna's more the celebrity type than me, and sometimes I just let her run with projects. I still prefer to take care of things myself when I can. I don't need her personal assistants or decorators. I got this." He smiled as he patted Mason's head and left the kitchen.

"What do you think lilac or periwinkle?" Lauren asked Deacon as she held samples in the paint isle at Lowe's

"What do we think, Mace? I'm gonna go with lilac." Deacon suggest as he held Mason in the paint isle

"I was thinking I'd like the kids to put their hand and foot prints somewhere on the walls too, maybe in blue for Mason and pink for the girls? They can paint their names next to their prints." Lauren suggested

"Sure, yeah, the girls will love that. Good idea." Deacon turned to look at small cans of blue and pink paint for the kids prints

"We'll get at least one purple wall done first and let the kids do the prints tonight, before bath time." Deacon suggested

Deacon and Lauren spent the rest of the afternoon painting the nanny suite purple. He sent Lauren to pick up the girls and dinner as he added the finishing touches.

"Daddy…daddy…daddy…" Maddie and Scarlett came running upstairs to see the room when Lauren got them home.

"oohhhh, purple…I love it." Maddie said

"Where do our feet go?" asked Scarlett. Lauren had told them about the print project

"…and hands too!" Maddie added

"Where do you think? Right here by the door so you see them when you come in?" Deacon asked everyone

"Perfect." Lauren agreed

"We picked up pizza. The girls said you like sausage and pepperoni from Soulshine."

"My favorite." Deacon smiled as he gathered up the brushes

"You guys go ahead. I'll be right down. Just gonna call Rayna and see if she'll be home for dinner."

Lauren took the kids downstairs to eat as Deacon dialed Rayna's cell number. It went right to voicemail. He thought maybe she was taking another call. Surely it wasn't off. She'd learned her lesson after the Scarlett hospital scare. He washed out the paint brushes, sealed up the purple paint, and washed his hands before trying Rayna's number again. Same thing…right to voicemail. He tried not to let it get to him. "Last time she turned her phone off she was in bed with Luke." He thought trying his best to push the memory away.

"Can we do our feet prints now, daddy?" Scarlett asked as Deacon and Lauren cleaned up the kitchen

"Soon. Go watch TV for a little longer."

"You wanna take them up and get their shoes and socks off? I'll be right up with Mason. Just gonna try Rayna again. It's almost 8. Her rehearsal should have been over hours ago." Deacon said as he reached for his cell.

Right to voicemail again. He was starting to get pissed. Reasonable, or not, she'd been with Luke all day and wasn't answering her phone. He contemplated leaving a message or not, and finally left one.

"I kinda thought we had an understanding about being home for dinner or at least calling, Ray. I haven't heard from you all day. Everything's fine, but a little courtesy might have been nice since you're late." He hung up

"Look at those pretty feet." Deacon said as he sat on the floor with Mason and tickled the girls feet. Lauren was pouring the paint into a pan for feet and hand dipping

"OK, lets do this one at a time. I'll carry you to the tub when you're done so you don't get paint all over the house." Deacon said

"ME FIRST!" Maddie yelled

Lauren dipped Maddie's hands and feet in the pink paint and let her make prints on the wall, and then write her name near them.

"One down, two to go." Deacon said as he scooped Maddie into his arms and carried her down the hall to the bathroom squealing.

"Back for number 2." He said returning as Lauren helped Scarlett put her prints and name on the wall.

"OK, in the tub with you too." He said scooping Scarlett into his arms and rubbing her belly with his chin scruff making her squeal as he carried her to the tub.

Rayna arrived home to the girls squealing in the bathtub after the print fun. Deacon and Lauren were trying to get Mason to cooperate for his prints as Rayna entered the room.

"Hey, there's leftover pizza in the fridge if you're hungry." Deacon said as he held Mason close to the wall so Lauren could get his feet prints.

"We had a dinner meeting and drinks after rehearsal to discuss the tour. What's going on here?" Rayna asked avoiding Deacon's glare

"Who's WE?" Deacon asked irritated

"Everyone, Deacon!…me, Jeff, Bucky, Luke, some of the band and crew." She replied resentful of his insinuation and not happy about the message he'd left.

"You got a lot done today. I thought we were gonna hire a decorator?" Rayna said

"I wasn't busy today so figured I'd take care of it myself, and the girls liked the foot and hand print idea Lauren had."

"It's cute. Thanks for including the girls, Lauren. I'm tired. I'm gonna say good night to the girls and go to bed. Night Lauren." Rayna said as she bent to kiss Mason's head, clearly excluding Deacon from her good nights.

Deacon took Mason to the tub with the girls and washed the pink and blue paint off everyone. Lauren read them a story after everyone was tucked in.

"Can we have a song?" Maddie asked

"Any requests?" Deacon asked as he handed Mason to Lauren and grabbed his guitar

"I've got one. Do you know Who says you can't go home?" Lauren asked Deacon

"I think I can fumble through it for bedtime." Deacon laughed as he started to strum

**"Who Says You Can't Go Home" Bon Jovi**

I spent 20 years trying to get out of this place  
>I was looking for something I couldn't replace<br>I was running away from the only thing I've ever known  
>Like a blind dog without a bone<br>I was a gypsy lost in the twilight zone  
>I hijacked a rainbow and crashed into a pot of gold<br>I been there, done thatand I ain't lookin' back on the seeds I've sown,  
>Saving dimes, spending too much time on the telephone<br>Who says you can't go home

Who says you can't go home  
>There's only one place they call me one of their own<br>Just a hometown boy, born a rolling stone, who says you can't go home  
>Who says you can't go back, been all around the world and as a matter of fact<br>There's only one place left I want to go, who says you can't go home  
>It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, its alright<p>

I went as far as I could, I tried to find a new face  
>There isn't one of these lines that I would erase<br>I lived a million miles of memories on that road  
>With every step I take I know that I'm not alone<br>You take the home from the boy, but not the boy from his home  
>These are my streets, the only life I've ever known,<br>who says you can't go home

I been there, done thatand I ain't looking that  
>It's been a long long road<br>Feels like I never left, that's how the story goes

It doesn't matter where you are, it doesn't matter where you go  
>If it's a million miles aways or just a mile up the road<br>Take it in, take it with you when you go,  
>who says you can't go home<p>

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, its alright  
>Who says you can't go home<p>

The girls were both asleep by the end of the song.

"Wow..Rayna said you were good, but …." Deacon was amazed at how well Lauren could sing

"You sure you're just doin small gigs around town?" he laughed

"So far, none of my originals have caught anyone's attention."

"Well, you just caught mine! I'd like to hear some of your own songs sometime. I have some friends in the business that might be able to help you."

"Really? Thank you sooo much!" Lauren was so excited she hugged Deacon

"No problem. You're really good. You deserve a chance."

"You want me to put Mason to bed?" Deacon asked as he started to fuss in Lauren's arms

"No, go spend some time with your wife. I've got him. Remember I have classes the next couple of days. I'll probably go home in the morning and come back Friday afternoon." Lauren reminded Deacon of her Thursday and Friday classes.

"OK, yeah I remember. Night Lauren. Night buddy. Got to sleep for Lauren, OK." Deacon said as he kissed Mason good night and headed downstairs.

Rayna was in bed with her back to the door as Deacon entered the bedroom. He smelled like paint so he slipped quietly into the shower. He knew she was probably awake, but he figured the inevitable fight could wait till after a shower.

He slipped his arms around her and gently kissed the nape of her neck as he climbed into bed freshly showered. He really wasn't in the mood to fight.

"Please stop, Deacon!"

"Come on, baby, relax. How about a repeat of last night, relieve some stress?" he playfully whispered continuing the kisses

"I'm not in the mood, Deacon! Please, just STOP!" she said close to tears as a hormonal shift took over making her feel extremely emotional.

Deacon let go and rolled back to his side of the bed. He stared at the ceiling for several minutes without saying a word. He was feeling sexually and emotionally frustrated with Rayna. Her mood swings were killing him, and her aggressive sexual behavior one night followed by nothing the next was confusing.

"I don't get you, Rayna. You practically fucked my brains out last night and tonight you don't even want me to touch you."

"What the hell, Ray?"

"You're mad Deacon. Sex isn't going to fix it."

"I'm not mad, but I'd appreciate a call if you're gonna be so late getting home."

"You're message kinda implied you're mad." Rayna said without turning around

"I was, but I'm tryin, Ray. I'm really tryin to not lose my temper. Why'd you turn your phone off?" He calmly asked still holding her.

"It wasn't intentional, DEACON! I forgot to charge it. The battery was dead till I got it back on the car charger coming home. I really don't appreciate what you're implying."

"What am I implying, Ray? I just asked you to please call if you're gonna be late."

"You're implying that I was with Luke, and purposely turned off the damn phone."

"Did you turn off the phone?" he asked pointedly

"NO, I told you it was dead."

"Seems kinda funny you don't have it charging now if it was so dead." Deacon asked pointing at the phone on her nightstand not plugged in.

"You wanna check the damn phone? Here…" she said grabbing it from the night stand and throwing it at Deacon as she got up, and left the room.

Deacon checked the phone. It was only at 15% battery life. He immediately felt like a jerk for doubting her. He stared at the ceiling for another 20 minutes. Rayna didn't come back to bed.

"I'm an ass. I'm sorry." Deacon said when he found Rayna crying on the back porch, alone on the swing.

He sat next to her and tried to pull her close, but she pushed him away.

"You're always sorry, but nothing really changes. You don't trust me. You say you do, but you don't Deacon!"

"I'm tryin, Ray. I really am tryin to get past this whole Luke thing. I don't know what else to tell you. I can't just forget. I've tried."

"…and what's gonna happen when I go on tour Deacon? You had doubts today when you couldn't get a hold of me for a few hours. What's gonna happen when you know I'm with Luke and gone for a month?"

"I don't wanna think about it, Rayna."

"DAMMIT, DEACON! WE NEED TO DEAL WITH THIS! I'M LEAVING IN 2 WEEKS FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH. YOU CAN NOT WANNA TALK ABOUT, NOT WANNA THINK ABOUT IT ALL YOU WANT, BUT IT'S HERE, AND I'M TERRIFIED IT'S GONNA DESTROY US."


	27. Chapter 27

The plane was on the tarmac, lit up, and ready to go as Deacon rushed into the private terminal. He'd rushed to his truck as soon as he got off the opry stage, hoping to catch Rayna before she flew out. The Wine and Moonshine tour had kicked off tonight at Bridgestone Arena.

It was scheduled tomorrow night at Madison Square Garden for 2 shows. Rayna and Luke had to leave right after the Bridgestone show for New York. There were interviews and talk shows scheduled for early Saturday morning in New York preceding the shows.

Rayna had barely spoken to Deacon in the past two weeks. She'd forced him to deal with his true feelings about her affair with Luke. He'd managed to avoid the conversation for more than a year and a half. The fight was the worst they'd ever had.

Rayna was tired of all the stupid smaller fights about tabloid stories, rehearsals, business dinners, and mostly Deacon's snide Luke remarks. She was so sick of hearing "I don't wanna talk about Luke Wheeler." She had been determined to make him talk. She wouldn't let him shut the conversation down.

"Excuse me, ma'am! I need to stop that flight!" Deacon said to the boarding agent as he ran into the private terminal.

"Well, you're in luck. The passengers haven't arrived. It's been delayed." The agent smiled as she told Deacon

"So Rayna Jaymes and Luke Wheeler aren't here yet?" Deacon asked

"Not yet, sir. We expect them anytime. The plane is ready. Are you a passenger? If your name is on my list I can go ahead and let you board."

"No, I'm Rayna's husband. I just need to speak to her."

"Oh, Deacon Claybourne! I thought you looked familiar. Feel free to have a seat while you wait. Can I get you anything? Coffee, water…?" she asked realizing who Deacon was.

"Coffee would be great, black. Thank you." Deacon exhaled and slumped into a chair to wait for Rayna, relieved he'd made it in time.

He thought back to the horrible fight 2 weeks ago. He hadn't wanted to talk about Luke. He'd managed to push his anger and hurt away for so long. He was just hoping that maybe someday he'd forget it and the feelings would subside.

His plan was to just deal with it, ignore it, move on with life, Rayna, and the kids. "Eventually, it had to get easier, right?" he'd told himself all along, but the truth was…it hadn't gotten any easier. Seeing Rayna with Luke anywhere…onstage, in a tabloid, at rehearsal instantly brought the affair bubbling back to the surface.

He'd tried his best to hide it, but Rayna knew him to well. 2 weeks ago she'd pushed him till he blew up, and more than a year of hurt, jealousy, and rage came out. He never meant for her to hear some of the things he said in anger that night.

2 weeks earlier…

"I'm an ass. I'm sorry." Deacon said when he found Rayna crying on the back porch, alone on the swing.

He sat next to her and tried to pull her close, but she pushed him away.

"You're always sorry, but nothing really changes. You don't trust me. You say you do, but you don't Deacon!"

"I'm tryin, Ray. I really am tryin to get past this whole Luke thing. I don't know what else to tell you. I can't just forget. I've tried."

"…and what's gonna happen when I go on tour Deacon? You had doubts today when you couldn't get a hold of me for a few hours. What's gonna happen when you know I'm with Luke and gone for a month?"

"I don't wanna think about it, Rayna."

"DAMMIT, DEACON! WE NEED TO DEAL WITH THIS! I'M LEAVING IN 2 WEEKS FOR AN ENTIRE MONTH. YOU CAN NOT WANNA TALK ABOUT, NOT WANNA THINK ABOUT IT ALL YOU WANT, BUT IT'S HERE, AND I'M TERRIFIED IT'S GONNA DESTROY US."

"Rayna, why do we have to do this?" Let's just go back to bed, alright?" he'd pleaded not wanting to discuss Luke

"No, Deacon! I'm done. I'm done apologizing. I'm done having this hang over my head. It's been a year and a half. I'm tired of feeling like things are NEVER gonna be OK again. I'm tired of walking on egg shells waiting till you see another damn tabloid, or hear a duet with me and Luke and blow up again."

"Rayna…." He tried to reach for her and calm her down. She was shaking and crying. She shoved him away forcefully.

"STOP IT, DEACON! DON'T TOUCH ME."

"What the fuck do you want me to say, Rayna?" he asked flatly

"I WANT YOU TO TALK TO ME. TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL. I CAN'T KEEP LIVING LIKE EVERYTHING'S FINE. IT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT."

"I'M DEALING WITH IT, RAYNA! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?"

"YOU ARE NOT DEALING WITH ANYTHING, DEACON! YOU'RE IGNORING IT TILL SOMETHING PISSES YOU OFF, THEN WE HAVE A STUPID FIGHT ABOUT SOMETHING ENTIRELY DIFFERENT TO AVOID THE AFFAIR. WE MAKE UP, AND DO IT ALL AGAIN NEXT TIME. IT STOPS TONIGHT, DEACON!"

"OR WHAT, RAYNA? HUH? IF I DON'T SPILL MY GUTS AND CRY OR DO WHATEVER THE HELL IT IS YOU THINK I NEED TO DO TONIGHT, THEN WHAT?"

"I'm not gonna keep living like this. I love you, and I want this marriage more than anything, but we either need to have this out, and get over it, and really move on, or admit that we can't to ourselves and to each other."

"What the hell's that supposed to mean? You're gonna leave me?

"Yes, Deacon. If we can't get past this. I'm not gonna keep living this way with a cloud hanging over us. We either fix it, or walk away." She said sobbing

"THAT'S JUST FUCKIN GREAT, RAYNA! YOU BEGGED ME TO TAKE YOU BACK, GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE. I DID, AND NOW YOU'RE THREATENING TO LEAVE ME?"

"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TALK ABOUT IT? TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL?"

"YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW HOW IT FELT WHEN I FOUND OUT YOU FUCKED LUKE WHEELER? HUH? OK, RAYNA…" He took a few deep breaths trying to compose himself and stop yelling.

"I came home that Monday morning after consoling Vince all weekend. Poor bastard was heartbroken over Kelly cheating on him. Ya know, all weekend I had thought how good I had it.

I had the love of my life, my best friend. A love that most people never experience. All I wanted that day was to see you smile and have you in my arms, Ray.

I'd missed you so much that weekend, it hurt. I couldn't wait till you got home. I dropped the kids off at school. Got you a bouquet of damn tulips with a stupid little card sayin I missed you, and came to the studio to surprise you for lunch.

….but I was the one to get the surprise! You and Luke talking about the night in Chattanooga a few months earlier. A FEW DAMN MONTHS EARLIER! YOU LIED TO ME FOR MONTHS, RAYNA!"

"Deacon…I…." Rayna reached for him, but now he pulled away

"NO, RAYNA…LETS DO THIS! YOU WANNA HAVE IT OUT! YOU ASKED FOR IT!" he took another deep breath and continued

"I wanted to kill both of you, right then and there. I was mad as hell. I couldn't think straight. I had to leave before I did something really stupid.

I don't even remember getting in the truck. Next thing I knew I was at a liquor store buyin several bottles of Jack.

I picked up the kids and took 'em for pizza knowing I probably wouldn't see 'em for a while.

I cried like a baby holding the girls in Tandy's driveway when I dropped 'em off that night. You destroyed my world that day, Rayna.

I hated you. I never wanted to see you again. If it hadn't been for the kids, I probably would have disappeared that night and never looked back.

….but I had to go home, pack, and wait for you.

I got to the house and all the family pictures, and the kids toys, our life…

I started the first bottle of Jack. It just made it worse. I wanted to keep hating you, to make it easier, but I still loved you.

Most confusing feeling in the world to love and hate the same person so much all at the same time."

"I guess I never realized you hated me?" Rayna said through tears

"YOU RIPPED MY DAMN HEART OUT THAT DAY, RAYNA! I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN SAY YOU LOVE ME SO MUCH. I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE EVER CHEATING ON YOU, EVEN NOW. I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO LIE TO YOU, BUT YOU LIED TO ME FOR MONTHS."

"SO I'M THE HEARTLESS BITCH THAT CHEATED ON HER SAINT OF A HUSBAND! IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, DEACON?" Rayna yelled feeling completely blamed again

"THE DAY I LEFT WITH LUKE YOU'D IGNORED ME FOR A MONTH. I TRIED TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT THE NIGHT BEFORE, BUT YOU WERE A JERK. YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T WANT TO WORK THINGS OUT. I THOUGHT OUR MARRIAGE WAS OVER, OR I NEVER WOULD HAVE SLEPT WITH HIM."

"YOU SURE AS HELL DIDN'T WASTE MUCH GODDAMN TIME JUMPING INTO BED WITH HIM! WHY DON'T YOU JUST ADMIT IT, RAYNA. YOU'VE WANTED LUKE FOR YEARS. YOU WANTED HIM BACK BEFORE WE EVER GOT MARRIED. HELL FOR ALL I KNOW YOU SLEPT WITH HIM THEN. MAYBE YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH HIM NOW. YOU DON'T SEEM TO HAVE A PROBLEM BEIN ALL LOVEY DOVEY ONSTAGE. WE BOTH KNOW YOU'RE A DAMN GOOD LIAR. YOU FOOLED ME FOR MONTHS BEFORE. HOW WOULD I EVER KNOW IF YOU SELPT WITH HIM AGAIN, HUH?"

"HOW CAN YOU EVEN SAY THAT, DEACON? I SAT BY YOUR SIDE FOR A MONTH WAITING FOR YOU TO WAKE UP FROM YOUR COMA. I TOOK CARE OF YOU FOR MONTHS AFTER WHEN YOU COULD HARDLY DO ANYTHING FOR YOURSELF. I TOOK ALL YOUR MEAN COMMENTS AND PUT UP WITH YOUR TEMPER WHEN YOU WERE FRUSTRATED." Rayna was crying softly avoiding Deacon's gaze

"YEAH LETS TALK ABOUT THAT. WHERE WAS LUKE WHEN I WAS IN A COMA? DID YOU SEE HIM?" Deacon asked staring her down with daggers in his ice cold blue eyes

*****silence******

"YOU DID? I CAN'T FUCKIN BELIEVE YOU RAYNA. MADDIE SAID SHE WAS AT HIS RANCH. HE SHOWED HER AND SCARLETT THE HORSES AND THEY SWAM IN HIS POOL. WHEN WAS THAT, RAYNA? IT HAD TO HAVE BEEN WHEN I WAS IN A COMA. THE GIRLS WOULD HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT HORSES AND SWIMMING AND I DON'T RECALL THAT CONVERSATION." Deacon was shaking his head in disbelief

"DID YOU TAKE CARE OF ME OUT OF GUILT? MAYBE YOU WERE HOPIN I'D DIE. WOULDA MADE THINGS A HELL OF A LOT EASIER, HUH"

"You are way out of line, Deacon! I took care of you because I love you, and I wanted the man I fell in love with back. I'm not even sure he still exists." Rayna said as she collapsed into a ball on the swing in tears

"YOU STILL GOT LUKE, RIGHT?"

"YOU'RE RIGHT, DEACON. LUKE'S BEEN THERE WHEN I'VE NEEDED HIM. HE'S BEEN THERE TO PICK UP THE PIECES WHEN YOU'VE TORN ME DOWN AND MADE ME AN EMOTIONAL WRECK. HE WAS THERE WHEN THE DOCTORS TOLD ME YOU MIGHT NEVER WAKE UP. HE'S BEEN A GREAT FRIEND, AND HE KNOWS WE MADE A HORRIBLE MISTAKE SLEEPING TOGETHER. WE'RE JUST FRIENDS. FOR WHATEVER REASON I STILL LOVE YOU, AND HE RESPECTS THAT."

"UH HUH…HE'S JUST BIDING HIS DAMN TIME WAITING TO CATCH YOU IN A WEAK MOMENT. AS SOON AS HE DOES YOU'LL BE RIGHT BACK IN BED WITH HIM."

"AFTER EVERYTHING WE'VE BEEN THROUGH, DO YOU REALLY THINK I'D DO THAT TO YOU AGAIN, DEACON? I COULD HAVE THROWN YOUR ASS INTO A NURSING HOME, AND RAN OFF WITH LUKE, BUT I DIDN'T."

"NO, YOU JUST FUCKED HIM WHILE I WAS IN A COMA!"

"JESUS, DEACON! I DID NOT!"

"YOU WERE WITH HIM. WHAT MESSAGE DOES THAT SEND TO THE KIDS? DAD'S LAYIN IN A HOSPITAL AND MOM'S WITH UNCLE LUKE. NICE, RAYNA! NOT TO MENTION YOU WERE PREGNANT WITH MY SON THEN."

"I LEFT THE HOSPITAL FOR A FEW HOURS FOR HORSEBACK RIDING AND SWIMMING WITH THE KIDS AND LUKE. IT WAS MORE FOR THE KIDS THAN ME. WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT WE'RE JUST FRIENDS, DEACON? THAT'S ALL WE'VE EVER BEEN WITH THE EXCEPTION OF ONE WEAK MOMENT, AND YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY INNOCENT IN THAT. YOU PUSHED ME RIGHT TO HIM."

YEAH, RAYNA…I TOLD YOU TO FUCK HIM, RIGHT? …AND IF YOU THINK ALL HE WANTS IS FRIENDSHIP, YOU'RE A DAMN IDIOT!"

"YOU KNOW, DEACON, AFTER THIS CONVERSATION I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHY WE'RE STILL TOGETHER. WE WERE SEPARATED WHEN YOU HAD THE ACCIDENT. MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE STAYED THAT WAY?"

"WE LET THINGS GO TO FAR THAT DAY IN YOUR TRUCK. I GOT PREGNANT. IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR THE ACCIDENT AND MASON, WOULD WE EVEN BE TOGETHER TODAY?"

"PROBABLY NOT! I HAD A LOT OF DOUBTS. I DIDN'T HAVE MUCH CHOICE AFTER THE ACCIDENT. I STAYED AT FIRST CAUSE I COULDN'T LEAVE. HELL I COULDN'T EVEN EAT BY MYSELF, THEN WE FOUND OUT WE MADE ONE MISTAKE, IN A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS THAT DAY IN THE TRUCK, AND WE HAVE ANOTHER BABY."

"IS THAT HOW YOU FEEL, DEACON? THAT DAY IN THE TRUCK WAS A MISTAKE? MASON WAS A MISTAKE?"

"I DUNNO, RAY. SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT MADE ME STAY THAT DAY. I REFUSED TO MOVE BACK HOME BECAUSE I WASN'T READY. I WAS KINDA FORCED TO AFTER THE ACCIDENT. I GUESS EVEN AFTER I GOT BETTER I FELT LIKE I OWED YOU, LIKE I HAD TO STAY AND TRY TO MAKE IT WORK."

"SO YOU REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO COME BACK TO ME?" Rayna yelled

"NO, NOT AT FIRST! EVENTAULLY, I WANTED TO BE HERE, BUT THERE WAS, STILL IS THAT NAGGING FEELING THAT UNDER DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES, IF I HADN'T BEEN IN THE ACCIDENT, IF YOU HADN'T GOTTEN PREGNANT….."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU EVER TELL ME YOU HAD SO MANY DOUBTS?"

"I TRIED, RAYNA! THE DAY YOU DRAGGED ME HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL I TOLD YOU I'D BE BETTER OFF IN A NURSING HOME."

"So that's where we are? You only stayed because you needed me to take care of you, and I was pregnant?" Rayna asked with tears in her eyes and such hurt in her voice

"Yeah, at first. I eventually came to the decision that I wanted you, wanted to be here, wanted the marriage to work, but I still struggle with the affair. It's a daily battle with myself to overcome it, and keep trying."

"How could you do it, Rayna? There was a time when I would have done anything for you. I never knew how much love could really hurt until the day I found out about Luke. The affair wasn't even the worst part, Ray. The lies, the betrayal, from someone I thought loved me, and would never hurt me like that. It's damn near overwhelming to think about even now. I've tried to get past it, and I do pretty good most days." Deacon was an emotions mess after his tirade. He could barely speak his voice was cracking after finally getting everything out in the open.

"Where does that leave us, Deacon? You still don't trust me. You only stayed because you were sick and then because of Mason. I guess we're done here." Rayna was sobbing on the porch swing.

"Rayna, I do love you. I just can't seem to get past this, and …." He collapsed next to Rayna on the swing trying to pull her into his arms as he lost it and cried with her

"Don't, Deacon. PLEASE, Don't. I'm done. We're done! I'm not gonna keep apologizing. I've done that so many times, and it doesn't matter. We're still right where we were a year and a half ago." Rayna sobbed as she got up to go back to bed alone.

"I'd like to be alone tonight, Deacon. Stay on the couch." She sobbed as she closed the door.

"Rayna…Ray….C'mon! Don't say we're done!" Deacon was almost hysterical now crying, realizing what was happening as Rayna left him on the porch.

She barely got through the kitchen before she heard the glass candle from the outdoor table shatter against the brick house. 15 minutes later the bedroom door opened as she lay buried under the covers sobbing.

Deacon didn't say a word, as she looked up. His face was a mixture of anger, and sorrow. He had tears on his cheeks. He changed into jeans, grabbed his phone, wallet, and keys. She heard the overhead garage door open, his truck start and he was gone.

She thought he'd be on the couch by morning, but when he didn't respond to Mason screaming she got up. He hadn't come home. Lauren had 2 days of classes before her summer break began, and she was gone till Friday night.

Rayna cancelled her rehearsal for the day. She had to take the girls to school and hadn't made arrangement for Mason because she thought Deacon would be there. By noon she was getting worried, but reluctant to call after their fight.

An extremely hungover, possibly still a bit drunk and very dark demeanored Deacon arrived home around 1pm. She knew that look and wasn't about to try to argue with him. She had Mason to think about. Deacon passed out on the bed without showering, still in his clothes.

He got up around 5pm. He didn't speak to anyone, including the kids as he popped a few Tylenol, drank a cup of coffee, grabbed his guitar and left again in his truck. Rayna assumed he was going to his Thursday night Bluebird gig.

"What's wrong with daddy?" Maddie asked

"Don't worry about it, sweetie. He'll be OK." Rayna tried to reassure Maddie, not really sure herself about Deacon's mental state.

She glanced at the clock when she heard Deacon's truck, 3:06am. She took a deep breath and got up to try to talk to him. He was sitting in his recliner with a beer in his hand. The other 11 from the 12 pack were in front of him on the coffee table.

"Soooo, you're drinking again?" she asked as she sat across from him on the couch

"What the fuck do you care? You said you're leaving me." He replied flatly as he finished the first beer and reached for another.

"Deacon, all 3 kids are upstairs sleeping. Please think about your kids before you get drunk." She pleaded

"Too late. I'm already drunk. This is my second 12 pack." He laughed as he finished another beer.

"You need to go to bed. You can have the bedroom. I'll stay out here. Please, Deacon? Just go to bed. The kids are right upstairs. Don't do this" she said almost in tears, worried about what he'd do if he got really drunk with the kids so close.

She knew better than to provoke an argument with him when he was drinking. Subtlety seemed to work. He got up and went to the bedroom, after grabbing another beer to take with him. She poured the other 9 down the kitchen drain and threw the case and bottles out in the garage garbage.

She slept on the couch until Mason cried around 6am. She cancelled her second day of rehearsal because Deacon was passed out in the bedroom. Lauren wouldn't be back till tonight, and the girls needed a ride to school. She didn't have a sitter for Mason. Edgehill was getting pissed on day 2 of cancellation. She lied and said she was sick.

Deacon came out of the bedroom around noon. He shuffled into the kitchen for Tylenol, and coffee again. Mason was fussy. Deacon rubbed his temples as Mason screamed in Rayna's arms.

"Take him. I need to get dressed." She shoved a screaming Mason to Deacon

"Ahhhhggg…My head's killin me, Rayna! Just take him with you." He said trying to give Mason back

"That's your problem." She said leaving the room as Mason wailed louder

"Alright, Mace. Daddy's really hungover. How about a bottle?" he tried a bottle. Mason didn't want it and continued to fuss and squirm

"How about a teething ring?" he suggested as his head throbbed

"That's a good boy. That feel better?" Deacon asked as he flopped in his recliner with Mason happily gnawing his frozen teething ring

"He's cuttin another tooth." Deacon said as Rayna came back and sat across from him on the couch

"Do you really wanna miss any of his milestones, Deacon?" Rayna asked as Deacon lovingly played with Mason

"No." Deacon replied with misty eyes watching the little boy smile and gum the frozen ring

"He needs his daddy. You need to stop drinking. I wanna work this out, Deacon. What's it gonna take?" she asked tearfully

"I thought you said we're done?" he asked flatly

"I'm not gonna apologize anymore, Deacon. You need to get past this whole Luke thing or it's not gonna work, but I can't imagine a life without you."

"I've had a lot of time to think the past couple days and you're right. I do need to get past my hang ups with Wheeler, but I can't do that if you're on tour with him. I'll stay. We'll get counseling, but I need you to cancel the tour, Rayna."

"Deacon, it's 2 weeks away. We have dozens of sold out arenas. You know I can't do that now."

"I'm not askin, Rayna. I'm tellin you. Cancel the damn tour, or this marriage is over. I won't be waiting when you get back." He said it with stone cold sober eyes

Back to the present

Deacon had been sitting at the airport for 30 minutes when the Wine and Moonshine Convoy finally arrived. There was a flurry of activity as roadies and flight crew scrambled to unload equipment from trucks and reload it onto the plane. There were camera's and news staff around. The flashes were blinding as Luke and Rayna entered the private airport terminal. Security had to hold back unauthorized people from entering the airport.

Deacon stood up as Rayna approached with Luke. She was shocked to see Deacon there. He'd given her an ultimatum to cancel the tour, or he'd end their marriage. After some thought she'd told him "No, she was going on tour." They really hadn't talked since, aside from the day to day coordination of schedules and dealings with the kids. Deacon had moved into the home office, and had been sleeping on an air mattress the past 2 weeks.

"Deacon, why are you here? Is everything OK with the kids?" she asked concerned

"Yeah, yeah…they're fine. I just wanted to talk before you get on that plane."

"I'll give you two a minute. Don't be too long. We're already running late." Luke said as he entered the gangway

"I wasn't gonna come, but…" he trailed off as he swallowed a lump and his eyes filled with tears.

"I love you, Ray. I hate that it's come to this between us."

"I know. Me too, Deacon." She said fighting back tears of her own

"Don't get on that plane, Ray." He couldn't resist anymore and pulled her to him for a long, slow, deep kiss.

He thought she'd push him away, but she kissed him back and ran her fingers through his thick hair.

"Goddammit, I've missed you." He said with tears on his cheeks

"I've missed you too." She smiled as he wiped her tears away

"Come on, Ray. Please just come home with me. I'm sorry for all the bullshit. I really wanna work things out." He held her in a tight embrace waiting for a response. He'd missed the scent of her shampoo. He was breathing her in as he buried his face in her hair.

Rayna was sobbing in his arms. They stood like that for several minutes. She was struggling with a decision. He pulled back to look her in the eye, and wipe away her tears.

"Come on, baby. Let's just go home. I promise you won't regret it. We love each other Rayna. We can get through this together." He whispered voice cracking

The crew was finished loading the plane. They were just waiting on Rayna to board for take off. Luke stepped off the gangway back into the terminal.

"Look, I'm sorry to interrupt whatever you got goin on here, but we're already an hour behind schedule. The pilot needs us to board, Rayna." Luke said as he continued to watch Deacon and Rayna from the gangway entrance.

"What's it gonna be, Ray?" Deacon asked with such hope in his voice it nearly broke her heart

She closed her eyes and buried her face in Deacon's chest as he stroked her hair and kissed her head. She'd missed his scent, his touch and his sweet voice the past couple weeks. She'd been so afraid he'd never hold her again the way he was now.

"Seriously, Rayna. The pilots waiting. He's already got his take off orders." Luke said again getting impatient as Rayna struggled with a decision and cried in Deacon's arms.

"JUST GET ON THE DAMN PLANE AND LEAVE HER ALONE, LUKE. THIS DOESN'T CONCERN YOU." Deacon snapped, but Luke didn't move.

Rayna pulled away from Deacon. She stared into his deep blue eyes. He leaned in for another long, slow, lingering kiss. He had both of her hands in his as she pulled back again.

"I've gotta go, Deacon. I'm soo sorry." She said as the tears started to fall and she pulled her hands away from him.

"Don't do this, Rayna. PLEASE!" he begged voice cracking as he slowly let go of her hands

"I'm sorry." She said as she turned towards Luke and started to walk away from Deacon

"Yeah, me too. Sorry for thinkin you might actually choose me and this marriage!" Deacon said as the gangway doors closed.

Rayna burst into tears as Luke led her down the gangway onto the plane.

Deacon was an emotional wreck as he climbed into his truck to leave the airport. He was so sure Rayna would come home with him. He thought he had her when she kissed him back. All it took was Luke stepping off that gangway to pull her attention away from him.

For Deacon it was the last straw. She'd chosen Luke and the tour, over him and their marriage. He'd said if she went on the tour he wouldn't be waiting when she got back.


	28. Chapter 28

"What's the problem, Rayna?" Jeff asked pissed as Rayna stepped offstage after the second lackluster Madison Square Garden show.

"Leave me alone, Jeff!" She responded flatly as she slammed her dressing room door in his face.

"THIS CONVERSTION ISN'T OVER, RAYNA!" he yelled through the dressing room door.

"Look, man, just give her a little time and space, OK? She's goin through some personal things. She'll get it together. She's a pro." Luke intervened to get Jeff off Rayna's back

"Yeah, well she better get it together by the next show! Fans are noticing. The reviews from the Bridgestone and the first Madison show suck! She's been away from the spotlight for a year and a half. I've been patient while she dealt with her problems, but I need her back in the game NOW!" Jeff responded hotly as he stormed off to deal with bad press.

"Can I come in?" Luke asked knocking lightly on Rayna's dressing room door

"Yeah." She softly responded

"Are you OK?" Luke asked as Rayna stared at herself in her dressing room mirror

"Not really. I'm just not feelin it. Usually I get on that stage and the energy from the fans and the music takes over. Whatever else I have goin on just kinda fades away while I'm up there, but I just can't seem to get there anymore. For the first time ever performing feels like just a job I don't wanna be at."

"You're in a funk. It happens to the best of us. You'll get it back." He smiled reassuringly as he rubbed her shoulders

"You're so tense, Rayna. You need to relax or this is gonna kill you." He said as he continued rubbing her tight shoulders

"My life's a mess, Luke. The past year and a half has just been one thing after another. Deacon's mom died and we ended up with Scarlett. Deacon and I had problems and he almost died in a car accident. His recovery wasn't easy on either of us. I got pregnant at the absolute worst possible time. The pregnancy almost killed me. Now we have 3 kids, and my marriage is a mess AGAIN!"

"Hey…I know sometimes life sucks! My divorce was final last fall. Cost me $26 million, but we're both happier now. I hate like hell I can't see the kids as much as I'd like to. Overall it was the best decision. She's already got a banker boyfriend. That stings a little. He's there with my kids. She made it a point to tell me he's home every night by 6." Luke lamented on his recent divorce

"I can't even imagine Deacon with anyone else right now. It would kill me to see him start dating." Rayna said feeling more hopeless about the end of her marriage and the possibility that Deacon could move on with someone new.

"Don't think about Deacon at all Rayna. You're just gonna get all upset and I'm gonna have to cheer you up and ….such a chore!" He joked as he continued to massage her shoulders

"Look, I know it's late and you probably just wanna go to bed tonight. It's been a hell of a day with all the press crap this morning, and 2 shows tonight. We've got the rest of the weekend in New York though. GMA and The View Monday morning before we head to Chicago."

"I have the penthouse at the Four Seasons. 360 views of the city. I have a massage and spa treatment schedule in the room tomorrow after the PR crap. Why don't you join me? You could use a massage and some pampering. We can stay in our underwear after, order wine and dinner. No stress, no press, no fans…Whadya say?" Luke asked hopeful she'd say yes

"That does sound nice. It's been so long since I've had a professional massage." Rayna smiled

"It was the stayin in our underwear and wine part that got ya, wasn't it?" Luke laughed making Rayna laugh

"Yeah that was it." She laughed as she let him lead her out to the waiting limo to go back to the hotel

Alone in her suite, Rayna had Deacon's number on her cell display. She wanted to hit call, but she knew he either wouldn't answer, or if he did he'd be a jerk, and she'd end up crying again. She put the phone down and crawled into bed.

She layed awake contemplating leaving the tour, running back to Nashville, to Deacon. Jeff would be furious. Luke would probably be mad too. So many people, so many jobs, the band, the crew… She'd walked out on a tour before, but this was so much bigger.

The tour she ended when Maddie was 2 after 10 horrible months on a bus with Deacon and a screaming toddler, had only been her second tour, and it was her first headliner tour. She wasn't that big in country music then. They were still on busses and in cheap hotels then. The PR was radio stations and small public events. The shows were maybe 10,000 tickets sold.

Now it was the biggest tour of the year co-headlining with Luke Wheeler. Luke had made more money last year than any other country artist. They were both at the top of the country charts with separate singles and duets together. Now it was private jets and suites that cost Edgehill tens of thousands of dollars. The PR was national TV shows. The arenas were 50,000 seats and sell outs.

She got angry as she tossed and turned unable to sleep.

"How could Deacon even think she could just walk away from a tour this big without major consequences?" she fumed more as she thought about it

Edgehill would most likely fire her. She'd lose all rights to anything she ever recorded under the label. She could buy all of her material, but it would cost millions. Worst case scenario Edgehill would also sue her for breach of contract. She'd owe millions if they won, and how could they not win? She'd be the one breaching the contract.

"I'll just tell a judge my husband was having a temper tantrum!" She laughed, wondering how she'd ever begin to answer in court for her actions if she walked out now and cost Edgehill millions.

Back in Nashville Deacon had just arrived home after his Saturday night opry band leader gig. He'd considered going to a bar instead of home, but with Rayna gone and a nanny they'd only had a couple weeks, he did the responsible thing and came home.

They'd agreed to Sunday through Tuesday afternoons off for Lauren when Deacon wasn't touring. He really didn't want to deal with all 3 kids and a hangover in the morning either.

"Hey, How's it goin?" Deacon asked as he walked into the living room

"We're fussy tonight. Cutting more teeth. He has a low fever." Lauren said as Mason fussed in her arms

"Want me to take him for a while? You look tired." Deacon said reaching for Mason

"Yeah, thanks. He hasn't wanted to be put down all night. He screams if I try. My arms could use a break." She smiled as Deacon took Mason and swayed comforting him as he held him tight and patted his back

"Were the girls good tonight?" Deacon asked

"For the most part. Maddie is starting to test me a bit now that she's getting used to me."

"Haha…I hope you're up for that challenge. Maddie can be difficult." Deacon laughed knowing Lauren hadn't seen anything yet

"It gets worse?" Lauren seemed worried

"Oh yeah…she's had me damn near in tears of frustration before." Deacon smirked

"Great, looking forward to it."

"Guess we probably should have warned you. We're a volatile family." He laughed as Mason finally quit crying and looked up at him smiling

"None of my business. I'm just happy to get this opportunity." Lauren looked away. She'd heard Deacon and Rayna's fight a couple weeks ago. The neighborhood had heard their fight on the back porch.

"So when does Rayna come back from this first leg of the tour?" Lauren asked feeling comfortable enough with Deacon to pry a bit.

"First week of July. I'm not sure of the exact date. She'll only be home a week or two, and then gone another month."

"How do you do it? I mean, be away from each other for months at a time? I eventually would like a career in country music, but I want a husband and kids too. How do you balance it all?" Lauren asked Deacon

"It's not easy. I guess with us it helps that we're both in the business and understand the demands, and schedules. This is Rayna's first major tour in a year and a half. Last time she was out we only had one kid, Maddie. I wasn't touring so I did the stay at home dad thing for a few years. It's hard being the one at home. Ya know, she's out there living this glamorous life and I was knee deep in diapers and toys. For a couple years I didn't play anything but nursery rhymes and Disney songs at bedtime."

"So, you only had Maddie…where was Scarlett?"

"She's actually my niece. My sisters not exactly the best mother."

"I see. The blonde hair makes sense now." Lauren laughed

"She's a good kid. Probably the best behaved of all of them."

"Yeah, she's been very sweet. I never have to tell her anything twice." Lauren agreed

"Looks like somebody's out for the night. I'll be right back. Just gonna take him up to the nusery." Deacon said noticing Mason had fallen asleep in his arms as they talked.

"It's been kind of a rough few days. I'm pretty tired. Think I'm gonna head to bed. You're off till Tue. I need to leave around 5 for the opry Tue, but you're free till then. I got the kids if anybody wakes up. If you got somewhere you wanna go, someone you wanna see, go ahead. You're young. It's Saturday night." Deacon smiled as he came down the stairs

"Actually I have nowhere to be, no one to see. I was dating someone, but it didn't work out," Lauren answered

"Sorry to hear that. You got time. Don't rush into anything. You're really good with guitar and singing. You're gonna make it big one of these days. Worry more about that for now. I didn't forget about setting you up for the Bluebird. As soon as there's an opening on one of my Thursday nights you're comin with me. Night, Lauren." Deacon said as he padded down the hall to the bedroom

"Night, Deacon. Thanks again."

Deacon slipped into bed. He glanced at the clock 12:26am. "Rayna's show should be over by now." He thought reaching for his phone.

He had her number on the display, but decided not to hit send. He tossed the phone back on the nightstand. "What the hell would be the point in calling anyway?" he thought as he hugged her pillow heavy with her perfume.

He'd asked her not to go on this tour, and she went anyway. He realized she had contractual obligations, but he was hoping maybe she'd choose him for once. He layed awake wondering how she could even rationalize that being alone with Luke on tour would be OK after having an affair with him.

He missed her. Deep down he wanted his marriage to work, but he was struggling with how things would ever be OK? Rayna wanted him to just forgive and forget the affair. He'd been trying to do that, but he'd obviously failed miserably.

He couldn't help but wonder if she was in Luke's arms tonight. The thought just pissed him off. He threw Rayna's pillow across the room. She'd made her choice and it wasn't him, and their marriage. Instead she was off on tour with a man she knew Deacon couldn't stand, a man she'd had an affair with not all that long ago.

The feelings of betrayal were killing Deacon. He wanted a drink, but he had the kids to think about. He was looking forward to Wednesday. He'd be going off on another small tour for a week. Maybe doing something, pouring himself into his music again would help. Of course most of his music was about Rayna. He couldn't escape her no matter where he turned it seemed.

"OMG..that was amazing! I feel 100% better after that massage. Thank you for inviting me up here, Luke." Rayna said as she and Luke sipped wine after their private massages in his penthouse suite at the Four Seasons.

"Anything for you, sugar. I'm just glad you're feelin better. How about dinner? I'll call room service. Anything you want. You name it." Luke said handing her a menu

"I could really go for some surf and turf, and some of those sweet potato fries." She said smiling as Luke dialed room service

"You really like those fries?" Luke asked

"Yeah, they're good. Try it." She said shoving a fry to Luke's lips

"Ick! I dunno…I guess I just like the salty original fries. Sweet just seems all wrong in a French fry." He laughed

"Speaking of sweet…How about one of those huge skillet cookies with ice cream and hot fudge on top for dessert? Would you split one with me?" she asked

"On it." Luke said reaching for the phone to honor her every whim

"You're too good to me!" she smiled

"I didn't think you were into a lot of sweets?" Luke recalled

"I never used to be. My pregnancy with Mason I couldn't get enough salted caramel ice cream, and I just can't seem to shake the sweet cravings since I had him."

"I've always been more of salt freak myself. I like sugar once in a while, but give me a stick of beef jerky or a bag of chips and I'm good."

"I use to avoid both, but now I seem to crave them together. I was hoping it was just the pregnancy, but can't seem to shake it. Mason is almost 6 months old." She teared up a little thinking back to New Years Eve. Deacon had 10 tubs of ice cream at the cabin ready and waiting for her next pregnancy craving.

"Hey..I didn't know chips and beef jerky was a sensitive subject." Luke joked seeing her eyes mist over

"It's just everything right now, Luke. I'm sorry. I've made such a mess of things both with you and Deacon. He's tried to forgive me, but deep down he can't. The past year and a half has just been a slow painful death for our marriage. Neither of us want to admit it's over. Everything that's happened just clouded things and dragged it out longer." Rayna was sobbing again

"Rayna, you tried. That's all you can do. Sometimes things just don't work out despite the best effort, best intentions. I know you love him, but from an outsiders point of view looking in…he's made your life hell. How many times are you gonna put yourself through this?"

"I dunno, Luke. I can't imagine my life without Deacon in it. Even when we're not together, we are. There's just this connection that neither of us seem to be able to break. A divorce isn't going to change that." She cried as Luke watched helplessly

"I wish like hell there was something I could do to help, but this is something you're gonna have to work through. It's gonna suck! You need to focus on you, the kids, and music."

The weeks passed. Rayna called Lauren's phone every few days to talk to the kids. She missed them like crazy and couldn't wait till 4th of July weekend to go home. She'd avoided calling Deacon, and he hadn't bothered to call her. The tour dragged on. Luke did his best to keep her spirits up both onstage and off.

She'd managed to pull things together enough to fake it onstage and look happy as she went through the motions show after show. Luke kept Jeff off her back, and things on the road settled into a comfortable distraction for her.

Deacon was going through the motions at home. He'd been on a couple short tours. His music was selling like crazy through his Belcort writers contract. The songs he kept for himself and performed were climbing the charts. His second album was set for release at the end of June. His career was back on track after a few years away. He wasn't sure he wanted the fame, but it was coming. Perfect Storm was number 3 on the country charts and climbing. It would be his first number 1 as a solo artist if it continued to climb. The current number one was Luke Wheeler's If I Drink This Beer. Rayna was holding spot number 2 with The Best Songs Come From Broken Hearts.

He was driving home from Knoxville wrapping up 5 days of shows early one morning in late June when his phone rang. He glanced at the display. He quickly pulled over to take the call from Kendra Hoskins. The attorney handling the custody / adoption for Scarlett. He'd meant to go talk to her weeks ago, but after everything blew up with Rayna he'd just kinda let it drop off the radar. Beverly hadn't challenged the emergency custody order. Deacon didn't even know where she was.

"Good morning, Mr. Claybourne. I have some developments for you. Are you available to meet sometime today?"

"…uuhhhh, yeah. I'm actually about 20 minutes from Nashville. I can be there 9:30. Does that work for you?"

"See you then."

25 minutes later he was impatiently waiting outside Kendra's office. He had no idea why she wanted to see him in person.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. Endless phone calls on a Monday morning." She smiled as he sat across from her

"Where's Rayna?"

"…uuuhhh…she's out on tour." He stammered not really wanting to get into their marriage issues

"Oh, I see. Well, I have good news for you. We located Lester O'Connor in Ft. Lauderdale Florida. I had one of my colleagues there meet with him. He's signed away all parental rights and won't contest an adoption."

"That's great. One hurdle down, Right?" Deacon asked

"There's more…Apparently he called Beverly after he signed the paperwork. She showed up here late Friday. She wasn't happy. I didn't feel right talking to her because I represent you. I sent her to another attorney. I wanted her to have fair legal counsel and understand her options. The 3 of us sat down. I explained that you wish to adopt Scarlett. I also told her we have Scarlett's medical records. She left the meeting pretty upset on Friday, but the attorney I sent her to called me first thing this morning. She was in his office when he arrived today. She's agreed to give up parental rights, and also not contest an adoption."

"I don't know what to say. I expected a fight out of her. I…." Deacon had tears in his eyes

"She did request to sever all ties with you. She said you own your mom's house in Natchez jointly. She'd like you to sign a quit claim deed giving her all rights to the property. Are you willing to do that?"

"Yeah, I have no attachment to the place. I hated it there growing up. She can do whatever the hell she wants with it."

"OK, I can take care of that for you. I'll let her attorney know, and once we get everything filed we should be able to go before a judge in a couple weeks for a finalization hearing."

"So after the finalization hearing, she's ours, legally? We can change her name to Claybourne and we're legally her parents?" Deacon asked still not sure he believed it was that easy

"Yes, that's it."

"Thank you so much. I just wanted her to be safe, and never have to live through what I went through as a kid." Deacon left the office with happy tears running down his cheeks

He grabbed his phone as soon as he climbed in the truck in the lawyers parking lot. His first instinct was to call Rayna. It was always his first instinct. He wanted to share the happy news. Scarlett was going to be their daughter legally in a couple weeks, but he quickly put the phone down.

"What if Rayna doesn't want to go through with the adoption now?" he thought.

They hadn't spoken in weeks. He knew she'd be home soon. He hadn't really thought much about it yet. He missed her, but he was doing his best to give her space and concentrate on himself, the kids and his thriving career. He took deep breath and dialed her number.

Rayna was in Phoenix Arizona. It was only 8am there. She immediately thought something was wrong when Deacon's number flashed across her cell display that early on a Monday morning. She answered on the 2nd ring.

"Hello."

"Hey….I….uuuhhh…. How's the tour going?" Deacon asked nervously not really knowing what to say first.

"Fine. Is something wrong?" she asked

"No, actually things are pretty good."

"OK." She wasn't sure what to say. Everything was good at home without her. "Why was Deacon calling her outta the blue?" she thought, unsure of what to even say next.

"Look, I won't waste much of your time. I just met with Kendra Hoskins. Lester and Beverly both agreed to give up parental rights. There'll be a finalization hearing in a couple weeks. Scarlett is ours."

"That's great. So we legally adopt her at the finalization hearing? That's it?" Rayna asked

"Yeah…I just wanted to make sure you still wanna adopt her?" Deacon asked cautiously, afraid of the answer

"I love her like one of my own. We've had her almost 2 years. Yeah, I want her. Deacon, whatever happens between us, she'll always be one of our kids. If we get a divorce we'll just treat her the same as Maddie and Mason and figure out visitation."

"Is that what you want, Ray? A divorce?" he asked in a hushed whisper

"You said you wouldn't be waiting, Deacon. Isn't that pretty much what you meant?"

"I guess. I just ….have some doubts, that's all."

"So, you don't want a divorce?"

"I don't know what the hell I want, Rayna. I'm not happy you're on this tour. I have no idea how we'd even begin to get past everything that's happened. Why don't we just get the adoption out of the way first. I'm not planning to file for a divorce right now. Are you?"

"No, Deacon. I think we just need some serious time apart to think about what we both want and need."

"Not like we really have a choice. You're tied up with the tour for a year, right?" He asked irritated

"I'll be home a week or two every month. If you wanna be at the house while I'm there, fine. If not I'll get you a copy of my schedule and you can go to the cabin. I wanna spend my time at home with the kids when I can."

"…but you'd rather I not be there, right?"

"I didn't say that, Deacon."

"You didn't have to, Ray. I gotta go. I'll have Bucky let you know when the finalization hearing is."

"Deacon…." He hung up before she had a chance to say anymore


	29. Chapter 29

"Hey, Deacon…Can I ask a really big favor?" Lauren asked as Deacon fed Mason jarred prunes one early Thursday in July.

"Sure, anything…" he smiled. Deacon had really come to depend on Lauren a lot with 3 kids in Rayna's absence. His career was suddenly taking off and he'd needed her a lot more than originally agreed upon. She'd done it without question, was amazing with the kids, and he knew he owed her a lot.

"My best friend from Iowa called this morning. She's on her way to Nashville. I didn't know she was coming. She heard I was at the Bluebird tonight with you, and ordered a ticket online. She has a hotel booked, but I haven't seen her in more than a year. Would you mind if she stays here?"

"uuuuhhh…..sure. It's not a problem. Rayna's due back on the 5th, but I have no idea what time, or what her plans are. I was gonna take off and head up to the cabin, but I can't get there. The crew working on the access road is running behind after all the rain. Rayna's probably not gonna be happy I'm here, but it's a holiday weekend. I have as much right to be with my kids as she does. Probably be a crazy weekend around here, but your friend is welcome. I really appreciate all the extra time you've spent here helpin me with the kids."

"Thanks so much, Deacon! Carrie will be thrilled. She just bought your album. She's probably gonna be a little star struck. She's a farm girl from Iowa. This trip is pretty amazing for her. I hope she's not too over the top fangirling!" Lauren laughed

"No problem. I'm still tryin to wrap my head around all the attention. Rayna's always been the star, and I've never really wanted all of this attention. Perfect Storm hitting number one last week still blows me away. The album climbing and expected to go platinum by the end of the month is bigger than anything I ever imagined."

"I'm so happy for you. Congratulations again on all of it, and thank you soooo much for getting me this spot at the Bluebird tonight."

"You're good. You're gonna be right up here with me soon! I just hate to lose you as a nanny when it happens." He smiled

"I think you're safe for a while." She laughed

"Well, I gotta go. More PR crap, and I've got a meeting with Belcort. Rayna's sister is watching the kids tonight. She's gonna pick up the girls from school, and swing by for Mason around noon. I'll be back later to meet Carrie, and the 3 of us can go to the Bluebird together if you'd like?"

"That would be great, Deacon. Thanks again for everything."

"No, thank you. I couldn't do this without you. You've been great with the kids and takin on all this extra work and time here. I really appreciate it, Lauren."

"I don't mind really. How many jobs do you get where you sit by the pool all day?" she laughed again

"Yeah, we'll see if you're still so relaxed next week when the girls are outta school for 2 months." He laughed knowing what poor Lauren was in for with Maddie

"Rayna will be here, right?"

"uuuhhh…yeah, I guess. I don't really know her plans these days. Suppose to be back sometime on the 5th. That's all I really got, and I think the only reason I got that was she's hopin I'll leave while she's home, which I'm not planning to do now with the cabin inaccessible. I was gonna go to a hotel, but the more I thought about it the more it pissed me off. I've been away from the kids a lot too lately. I have just as much right to spend the holiday weekend with them as she does."

"Soooo, things still aren't great between you two?" Lauren asked

"Not really sure. I haven't talked to her. I thought she might call when Perfect Storm knocked her boyfriend's smug ass outta the number one spot, but I guess my first number one doesn't rate high enough even for a congratulation's call." He said sadly

"I'm sooo sorry, Deacon. Do you really think there's anything going on between Rayna and Luke?"

"You heard the fight a couple weeks before she left. Hell the whole damn neighborhood heard it. I'm surprised the damn tabloids didn't get a hold of that one."

"It was pretty epic." Lauren said looking away not wanting to pry to much, but she knew a lot living with Deacon and the kids.

"Not my finest hour! I'm still sorry you had to hear that." He apologized for the umpteenth time

"…but anyway, I gotta go. Bye buddy. Be good for Aunt Tandy tonight. I'll pick you and Carrie up for the Bluebird around 6. Bye Lauren." Deacon said kissing Mason, squeezing Lauren's shoulder and rushing out the door

Rayna collapsed on the couch in her dressing room. 90,000 fans were still going crazy at the LA Memorial Coliseum. The noise was deafening even backstage. All she wanted was a long, hot bath and her hotel suite bed. She'd been on tour with Luke for a month. The start was rocky, but she'd found her passion for performing again after a few shows.

She was looking forward to a couple weeks home with the kids starting 4th of July weekend. Luke was looking forward to a couple weeks home with his kids too.

Their 4th of July show in Austin Texas had just been cancelled. Drought conditions had made fireworks too dangerous. The city had decided to move the whole celebration to a later date including the Wine and Moonshine show.

Rayna was actually thrilled to get to go back to Nashville a couple days earlier than planned. They were keeping it quiet. Hoping to avoid a lot of media attention and sneak back to Nashville with little fanfare. Bucky was the only person that knew Rayna would be back on the 3rd rather than the 5th. She also wanted to surprise the kids and Tandy so Bucky was sworn to secrecy.

"It's been a great first run!" Luke said as he joined Rayna in the limo headed back to the Hotel Bel Air

"Yeah, but I'd be lyin if I said I wasn't happy as hell Austin got cancelled. I'm soooo ready to go home for a couple weeks." Rayna said slumping against the seat

"I don't mind bein on the road, but I do miss the kids. Couple weeks with them will be nice. I plan to get in some horseback ridin time and maybe a little shootin." Luke said relaxing in the plush seat

"I just wanna relax by the pool and do nothing for a few days."

"Ya know I'm thinkin about putting a little 4th of July party together at the ranch. Why don't you bring the kids and come out? I'll have Sage and Colt. Probably invite some friends, but nothin too big, maybe 20-30 people for fireworks, food and fun." Luke asked

"I dunno, Luke. I really just wanna relax with the kids."

"OK, hey…I understand. The offers open if you change your mind. I do have the Olympic sized pool ya know. You're more than welcome to bring all 3 kids and relax by my pool."

"Yeah…3 six year olds, a 2 year old, and a 6 month old…that doesn't sound very relaxing." Rayna laughed

"Hey…I got a 24/7 nanny on hand. She can corral 'em in another part of the house if you want peace and quiet." Luke offered

"I wanna be with them as much as possible. Mason's only 6 months old. He's gonna be a toddler by the time this tours over. I hate being away when he's so young." Rayna teared up a little thinking of all she's missing with Mason

"Have you thought about bringing him on the next leg?"

"I'm not sure Deacon would go for that."

"I'd say Deacon's gonna be doin some major touring before the years out. He did just push both of us down a coupe notches on the country charts with that first number one." Luke seemed a bit jealous

"Yeah, he did. I don't know. I'd love to bring Mason out on tour. He's pretty good natured. He might do OK with it. Maddie didn't do well when we tried with her, but she was already 18 months old and used to a schedule. Mason might be young enough to adapt still. I'll think about it, and maybe bring it up to Deacon just to see what his reaction is."

"Have you talked to Deacon at all?"

"Not since he called about Scarlett's adoption."

"It's none of my business, Rayna, but are you sure you want to do that? I mean, you'd be legally and financially responsible for another kid that's not even yours."

"I love Scarlett like my own. When we thought it was gonna be a major custody battle I had a lot of reservations, but Beverly gave up her rights. Now it's just a simple hearing and sign a few forms. I'm OK with it. We'll have to deal with visitation and custody over 2, why not 3?"

"Get some rest. We have early PR and then the flight home." Luke said as Rayna exited the limo and headed toward her suite

"You too. Night Luke."

Alone in her suite, Rayna had just started running a bath when her phone rang.

"Hey, sis…haven't heard from you in weeks. I was just wondering how the tours going?" Tandy asked as Rayna answered her cell

"Good, we got off to a rocky start, but it's been good since about the 3rd or 4th show. Luke's been great. He's been keeping that asshole Jeff Fordham off my back. That helps a lot. What's new with you?" Rayna asked

"Same old, same old…board meetings, political drama. Daddy's difficult as ever." Tandy laughed

"Sounds exciting."

"Yeah..hey, the reason I called is someone can't sleep and really wanted to talk to you. Here's Maddie."

"Mama I miss you. When are you comin home?" Maddie whined into the phone

"Soon, baby. How are you?"

"OK."

"Just, OK? Aren't you happy? Last day of school tomorrow before summer vacation?" Rayna asked

"Yeah, but I miss you. Daddy is gone all the time now too."

"You like Lauren, right?"

"Yeah, she's nice, but I want you mama." Maddie became whinier as she got tired

"Sweetie, I'll be home real soon. You sound tired. Go to bed and be a good girl for Aunt Tandy, please?" Rayna begged

"OK, Love you."

"Love you too. Put Aunt Tandy back on, please?"

"Why do you have the kids? Where's Lauren?" Rayna asked concerned as Tandy took the phone back

"I guess she's at the Bluebird with Deacon and some other girl, Carrie I think was her name."

"WHAT?" Rayna asked

"I dunno, Rayna. Deacon asked me to take the kids for the night. Something about Lauren going to the Bluebird with him. When I picked up Mason there was another young woman at the house. Lauren said her name was Carrie. A friend from Iowa."

"SO DEACON HAS 2 YOUNG WOMEN WITH HIM AT THE BLUEBIRD TONIGHT? ONE OF THEM OUR NANNY, WHO SHOULD BE WITH THE KIDS?"

"Yeah, I guess. He didn't really say much when he asked me to take the kids. I have no idea what's going on. Have you even talked to him lately, Rayna?" Tandy asked

"No, we're giving each other space, and time to think."

"Well, maybe you're giving him too much time and space?" Tandy suggested hearing Rayna's anger.

"Did Deacon seem interested in either of the women?" Rayna asked

"I didn't see him with them. It was just Lauren and Carrie at the house when I picked up the baby."

"Well, did Deacon say anything about ANYTHING when he asked you to take the kids?" Rayna asked

"You mean, did he ask about you?"

"Yeah, I guess." Raya softly said

"No, sweetie. I'm sorry. He didn't."

*****silence*****

"Are you OK, Rayna?" Tandy asked

"Yeah, I gotta go. I'll see you sometime soon. I'll be home for a couple weeks." Rayna said close to tears as she hung up.

She stared at Deacon's number on her cell display for several minutes. Tempted to hit the call button, but finally decided against it. She wasn't sure what she'd even say if she did call.

She decided against a bath, and took a long shower instead. She fell into bed exhausted, but unable to sleep as she thought about Deacon and what was going on at home.


	30. Chapter 30

"Gonna run to Tandy's to pick up Mason, and get the girls from their last day of school later. What are you ladies up to today?" Deacon asked Lauren and Carrie as he poured his first cup of coffee

"We were thinkin margarita's by the pool." They both giggled

"OK, sounds fun. You know you don't have to hang around here with me and the kids. You're free for the holiday weekend. You're both young and single. You should get out. Go downtown." Deacon suggested

"Maybe tonight. We're just gonna relax today. Thanks again for the Bluebird last night. It was amazing." Lauren couldn't thank Deacon enough for getting her in the round at the Bluebird

"You were pretty amazing. I think you made some connections last night. They definitely liked your original stuff." Deacon smiled

"Thanks so much for letting me stay here, Deacon. This has been the best trip ever. Meeting you is a dream come true." Carrie gushed

"I'm just a regular guy, that got really lucky with this latest album. Glad to have you here." Deacon said blushing a little at the extra attention.

"Well, you ladies make yourselves at home. Remember the only rooms off limits are the office and our bedroom. Feel free to help yourselves movies, food, the pool, anything else in the house. I'll be back later today with the kids."

After they heard Deacon's truck leave the driveway, Carrie looked at Lauren quizzically.

"OMG…he is soooooo HOT! How the hell did you ever get this job?"

"Settle down! He's also VERY married, Carrie! ….and to Rayna Jaymes!" Lauren warned

"Rayna Jaymes or not, if I was married to THAT, I sure as hell wouldn't leave him alone with a hot young nanny for weeks at a time." Carrie joked

"He is pretty cute, and soooo nice to me. I still can't believe Deacon Claybourne is trying to help ME with a music career." Lauren said still trying to take it all in

"So…dish…how did you end up working as his nanny?"

"When I got to Nashville all I could get were waitressing jobs, and I suck at that. I tried getting noticed in the music world, but until Deacon started helping me that wasn't going anywhere. I went back to what I knew in Iowa. Childcare at my mama's daycare. I started looking for babysitting or daycare job ads in the Tennessean."

"….and one just popped up that said Rayna Jaymes and Deacon Claybourne?" Carrie joked

"NO, of course not! It was a vague ad. I had no idea who it was for until Deacon opened the front door the day I came for an interview. The funny part was I had just seen one of his shows at the Orpheum in Memphis like a week earlier."

"WOW…did you tell them that?"

"Yeah, I was all fangirl and nervous that first day. Kinda like you are with him now." Lauren smirked

"I'm sorry…all of THIS is just sooo unbelievable. We're sitting in Rayna Jaymes and Deacon Claybourne's freakin kitchen, Lauren!"

"Relax, Carrie! He really is just a sweet normal guy."

"That's is. That's all you have to say about him?"

"I can't really say a whole lot. I signed an NDA the day I took the job."

"A what?"

"It's a non-disclosure agreement. Basically, it says I won't discuss them, their kids, their lives, or anything that goes on in this house with anyone including anything I hear or see."

"…but it's ME! You can tell me. I swear I'd NEVER say anything to anyone, Lauren."

"What are they really like? Are they really the lovebirds that some of the old stories make them out to be, or is all the newer tabloid stuff true about marital problems…and is Rayna REALLY having an affair with Luke Wheeler….ooohhh have you met him?" Carrie pried

"No, I haven't met Luke Wheeler. The closest I got to him was the day Rayna's tour started at the Bridgestone. He picked her up here in a limo. I was on the porch with the kids. They were crying because that was the day Rayna left for a month. Deacon wasn't home. Luke got out and helped Rayna into the limo. He did wave towards me and the kids, but I didn't get to talk to him or meet him up close."

"I would have been running out there to meet him. He's mighty fine too!" Carrie laughed

"So, Deacon's OK with his wife going off for a month with Luke Wheeler?"

"uuuhhhhh….Carrie, I really shouldn't….."

"Oh, Come on..we've been friends since like 1st grade. I swear I won't tell anyone anything. I just gotta know what they're really like….Come on, Lauren DISH!"

"Alright, but I swear…one word to anyone, and I WILL KILL YOU!"

"From what I've seen starting with Deacon's show at the Orpheum before I ever met them…Rayna just happened to be at that show with Deacon. He brought her onstage for the last few songs that night.

They seemed madly in love. He dedicated songs to her including Perfect Storm, the one that's his number one now. They sang a duet of a new song. I haven't heard it anywhere else. It was called Remind Me. I hope he records it. It was amazing.

They have such chemistry together onstage. They even made out in front of everyone after they sang Remind Me. I think that was the first time that's happened in years. I had heard before that she rarely made appearances with Deacon anymore, and if she did it was low key and he'd just play guitar in the background."

"So they are the lovebirds that the old stories say they are, and all the newer tabloid stuff about Luke is lies?" Carrie pushed for more hanging on Lauren's every word

"uuuhhhh…I wouldn't say that! Rayna was only here for a couple weeks after I started working, and then she left for the tour and hasn't been back. She calls MY phone every few days to check in and talk to the kids."

"That's weird. She doesn't call her husband?' Carrie asked

"No, he hasn't said a whole lot, but he does occasionally get a little chatty. He did say they haven't talked much since she left and he expects her home on the 5th, but he doesn't seem to know anything about her plans or her schedule.

He was actually going to leave while she's home. I guess they have another home, like a vacation or cabin home. It's an hour outside Nashville and pretty secluded from what I've heard Deacon say about it. Anyway, the access road is dirt. Deacon is having it paved, but it's been really rainy lately and the work is way behind schedule. There is no easy access in and out right now so he's not going.

He seemed a little pissed that Rayna maybe wants him to leave. I think he's planning to stay just to piss her off now. He said something yesterday about having just as much right to spend the holiday weekend with his kids as she does."

"So onstage is all an act and they really can't stand each other?" Carrie asked still hanging on every word

"Well, no I wouldn't say that either….Carrie, I REALLY shouldn't go any further." Lauren said feeling a little guilty for breaking the NDA agreement.

"Oh NOOO…you're NOT leaving me hanging…."

"I think they really do love each other, but …..NOT A WORD to anyone Carrie! The affair with Luke Wheeler did happen."

"OMG…How do you know? Did Deacon tell you?"

"Oh god no! I don't think he'd ever say anything that bad about Rayna to anyone directly even if it's the truth. A few days after I started here I was in bed. I heard them fighting on the back porch outside. The whole neighborhood heard that fight, but it's a secured neighborhood. They're all celebrities or politicians. Everyone kinda keeps to themselves.

Anyway, it was a pretty epic yelling, screaming, crying match between them. The affair was a while back, but Deacon doesn't believe it's over. Now Rayna's with Luke on tour. Deacon is NOT happy about it. In fact I think they've both threatened divorce.

The stories about Deacon's temper are true. He does have one hell of a temper when he's pissed, and he did used to be an alcoholic. I'm not completely sure how that works because he does drink at times now, but usually only when he's pissed off at Rayna and maybe a little socially. I think he had a beer at the Bluebird last night, but I didn't see him have more than one or two.

Anyway…the two weeks after the fight before Rayna left for the tour were really tense around here. They barely spoke unless they had to about the kids. Deacon moved out of their bedroom and into the office. He was working at the opry the night of the Bridgestone show, but he must have seen Rayna before she left. He didn't come home till like 4am. I heard him throw a few things downstairs. He was really upset. He'd been drinking. I got up. I was gonna see if he wanted to talk, but I was kinda afraid of his temper so I went back to my room before he saw me.

It was heartbreaking. He really does love Rayna. I have the baby monitor in my room for Mason. Deacon sat with Mason crying for a while. He mostly apologized to him for making such a mess of their lives. He blames himself for Rayna's affair.

A month earlier in Mason's nursery. A heartbroken Deacon after Rayna got on the plane with Luke…

"Hey, buddy." Deacon tearfully whispered as he picked up a sleeping Mason and sat holding him in the nursery rocking chair

"Thank you for comin along and giving me another couple years with your mama. Sometimes I feel like the day we made you was a big mistake, but that's not true. I feel like a horrible father for even thinkin like that.

You're here for a reason. We were meant to have a couple more years.

That day really was the Perfect Storm. The beginning of my chance to make things right. I coulda, shoulda done a lot of things different. Shoulda admitted a long time ago that I was havin a hard time forgiving and forgetting.

…but it I'm really sorry there's even a reason I need to forgive and forget. I let her walk outta here that day, right to him. I didn't try to stop her, or tell her I loved her.

I did try tonight. I wasn't gonna do it again. Let her get on that plane thinkin I didn't want her, didn't love her….right to him again.

But despite my best efforts…I did exactly that again. She's gone…with him, and there's nothin I can do about it.

…and maybe it's too late this time. That's my fault for letting it get to this point. Maybe if I'd been a better husband, better father, never given her a reason to doubt my love, things could have been different.

I'm sooo sorry for not being the father and husband I meant to be. I hope someday you and your sisters will understand that I love all of you, and I have no regrets about my kids. Whatever happens I'll always be there for you even if I can't be with you.

I love you Mason. Night buddy" a tearful Deacon placed Mason back in his crib.

Back to Carrie and Lauren's kitchen conversation…

"Deacon left the nursery and went to the studio. He must've thought the door was closed, but it was open a crack. I listened to him tearfully write a song. He does seem to write well when he's drinking and heartbroken. Not sure he'll ever record it, but this was the song." Lauren walked into the home studio and came back with a notebook

Standing On The Edge Of Goodbye – John Berry

It's been a long time since I've held her close  
>We've misplaced feelings that we used to know<br>Thought I could see between the lines I read  
>But I wasn't ready when she turned to me and said<p>

"I can't eat and I can't sleep  
>Sometimes I find it hard to breathe<br>I break down and cry, not knowing why but now I can't lie  
>I'm standing on the edge of goodbye"<p>

All of those years came rushing through my mind  
>And I found myself back in a simpler time<br>Just two young kids runnin' on fire and dreams  
>And in her eyes I realized, she was calling out to me<p>

She said, "I can't eat and I can't sleep  
>Sometimes I find it hard to breath<br>I break down and cry, not knowing why but now I can't lie  
>I'm standing on the edge of goodbye, goodbye"<p>

I would do anything to let her know  
>There's just no way my heart can let her go<p>

'Cause I can't eat and I can't sleep  
>Sometimes I find it hard to breath<br>I break down and cry not knowing why but now I can't lie  
>She's standing on the edge of goodbye, goodbye<p>

And I can't eat and I can't sleep  
>Sometimes I find it hard to breath<br>I break down and cry, not knowing why but now I can't lie  
>She's standing on the edge of goodbye, goodbye<p>

Standing on the edge of goodbye  
>Standing on the edge of goodbye<br>Standing on the edge of goodbye, goodbye  
>Standing on the edge of goodbye<br>Standing on the edge of goodbye

"That's pretty sad. So, how has he been since Rayna left?" asked Carrie

"He seems sad a lot, but the kids seem to make him happy, and his career suddenly taking off seems to make him happy even if the fame part doesn't. He's not really the celebrity type. I don't think he has a manager. I'm the only hired help they seem to have. They agreed to decorate the room I'm in however I wanted it. He did all the work himself."

"So, how is Rayna? What is she like?"

"I only had a couple weeks with her before she left and now the calls every few days. She's not as friendly with me. I kinda feel like she's just making small talk with me. I mean she's been nice, but she doesn't say a whole lot. She seemed really upset the night they had the big fight. Deacon went on a drinking binge and it messed up her rehearsal schedule. I had classes and could be here. I was kinda glad I was away for a couple days after the fight."

"Is she more the celebrity type?"

"Yeah, I think so. She seemed kinda mad or maybe jealous Deacon painted my room himself. She has the limo service with Luke for public appearances, and she does use security people in public. She has a manger that's around a lot. I think Bucky is his name. He's dating her sister."

"Interesting." Carried commented on Bucky

"What are the kids like?"

"They've been good so far. Mason's only 6 months old so he's pretty easy. He's a good baby. He sleeps 7 to 9 hours a night and really only cries when he's teething or hungry. He looks exactly like his daddy. Scarlett is actually their niece. I guess Deacon has a crazy sister that couldn't take care of her. Not sure about the whole story there, but she's a sweet little girl. She's loveable and never argues with me about anything. Then there's Maddie …"

"There's ALWAYS a difficult one." Laughed Carrie

"Yeah…so far she hasn't been too bad. I usually have to tell her or ask her at least twice sometimes a lot more. She likes to argue. She likes getting her way. If she doesn't she throws a fit or sulks. I'd say she got her daddy's temper, and she also looks a lot like Deacon."

"Cute kids them, huh?"

"They're adorable, especially Mason."

"Anyway…that's pretty much what I've learned so far. If Rayna's coming home Sunday I think maybe we should probably stay at my apartment once she gets home. She pretty much told me on the phone the other night I can have the 2 weeks she's home off with pay. They've been very generous with pay and even a car. I can live here or keep my place and go back and forth. I kept my apartment for some privacy."

"So you don't wanna stay here when Rayna's home?"

"If it was just Rayna or just Deacon it's fine. I really don't wanna get in the middle of whatever their issues are. It's great with just Deacon and the kids. Not sure about Rayna as much yet. She's touring for a year so I probably won't get to know her much especially if she lets me take the time she's home off."

"Well…at least you get to know her very hot husband. I think he likes you, and he may be single soon." Carrie joked

"He's my boss, Carrie! Right now so is his wife. That could be very messy, but I do like him and feel bad for him. He seems really hurt that Rayna didn't even call him and congratulate him on his first number one."

"awe...poor Deacon!" Carrie sympathized

"I'd like to maybe make him dinner tonight. I'm not working and I know he said I can leave, but I like hanging out with him and the kids. We can do Mexican and margarita's by the pool all day. Wanna run to the store and pick up some stuff?" Lauren asked

Deacon and the kids arrived home to Carrie and Lauren making a mexican feast In the Claybourne kitchen. There were red, white, and green streamers all over the back porch and pool area with a big Congratulations Deacon sign above the table. Red, white, and green beach balls floated in the pool.

"Smells delicious in here. Hope you'll share?" Deacon joked as he came into the kitchen with Mason

"Lauren, we missed you. What are you making?" Maddie bounded up next to her at the stove

"Taco's. Do you like mexican food?" Lauren asked

"I love mexican." Maddie excitedly said

"What are all the balls in the pool?" Scarlett asked

"Oh I thought we'd have a party by the pool. How does that sound?"

"Yay…can we put our swimming suits on Daddy?" Scarlett asked

"Sure, sweetie. Go ahead." Deacon said smiling as the girls ran for the stairs

"Soooo…what's goin on here?" Deacon asks as he snagged a chip and dipped it in the warm white mexican cheese dip on the island

"Well…I thought we'd celebrate the last day of school AND your first number one." Lauren said

"It's your time off. You don't have to do all this for me." Deacon said choking up a little blushing

"I wanted to. You've done so much for me."

"Well, thank you, and mexican is one of my favorites. You guys outdid yourselves. Look at all this food. The dip is delicious." Deacon said reaching for another chip and more dip

"Carrie makes a mean margarita. Would you like one?" Lauren asked as Carrie started pouring from the blender before he even had a chance to answer

"uuhhhh…sure." He answered as Carrie handed it to him

"I went light on the tequila with the kids here. Just to add a little to the celebration, but not overdo it." Carrie said

"Light for her is probably about normal for most people." Lauren joked

"No, it's really good…raspberry?" Deacon asked as he sipped the frozen concoction

"Yeah, we got traditional, strawberry, and peach if you'd prefer?"

"Raspberry is great. Thanks so much for doing all this. You really didn't have to." Deacon said again as he munched more chips and dip

"The tacos are about ready. I got refried beans and fried rice too. Oh and cream cheese empanadas are ready to fry for dessert. They only take a few seconds on each side."

"Sounds amazing. You guys really shouldn't have, but I appreciate it. Thank you."

"I'll just feed Mason his dinner before everything get's done." Deacon said as he placed Mason in his high chair and opened jar of baby food

"He is absolutely adorable." Carrie said as Deacon fed Mason

"We think he's pretty cute. We might keep him." Deacon joked

The celebration continued in the pool after dinner and dessert. They had left the kitchen a mess planning to clean up later after the pool party. Carrie and Lauren were playing in the pool with Maddie and Scarlett. Deacon had his guitar and a notebook under a tableside umbrella as Mason slept in his pack and play nearby.

Deacon had just launched into a Ritchie Valens version of La Bamba on his guitar. Everyone was singing when the celebration was abruptly interrupted.

"MAMA!" Maddie yelled as she climbed from the pool and ran to Rayna standing on the back porch.

Deacon turned quickly, removing his dark sunglasses as Rayna surveyed the mess, decorations, and tequila bottle on the table near Deacon.

"Rayna…." Deacon stammered surprised to see Rayna 2 days early.

"Mrs. Claybourne, Welcome home!" Lauren said nervously

"Thanks Lauren." Rayna clearly irritated replied

"uuhhhh…this is Carrie Sommers. She's my best friend from Iowa. She's in Nashville for the weekend." Lauren said as Rayna reached for Carrie's hand

"Nice to meet you, Carrie. Rayna Claybourne."

"I'm a huge fan. Your family is so nice and I'm having such a great time here." Carrie nervously responded sensing the tension in the air

"I can see that. Looks like I crashed the party!" Rayna responded turning to Deacon, who was now standing, shrugging with his hands in his swimming trunk pockets, no shirt on.

"Welcome home, Ray." Deacon softly said as Rayna reached for the tequila bottle on the table near him.

"Ya know it's been a long day. I'm just gonna spend some time with my baby boy. Don't let me ruin the celebration." Rayna said putting the tequila bottle down with a thud as she glared at Deacon.

"RAYNA…" Deacon yelled as Rayna picked up a sleeping Mason and slammed the back door on her way into the house.

"I'm thinkin the party's over!" Carrie sarcastically chimed in as Deacon went after Rayna.


	31. Chapter 31

"Can I come in, please?" Deacon asked softly outside the bedroom door

"Yeah…" Rayna said, sitting on the bed with a sleeping Mason in her arms

"Wasn't expectin you till Sunday."

"Well, that's obvious!" Rayna replied irritated, but trying not to wake Mason

"What's the problem, Rayna? Why are you so pissed off?"

"Oh I don't know, Deacon…what exactly has been going on here for the past month?"

"Meaning what?" he asked confused

"Tandy called me last night. I was a little surprised to learn my sister had our kids on a night when the nanny should have been with them, but turns out she was out with you along with what's her name…Carrie?"

"I got her in the writer's round at the Bluebird. Like I said I would the day we interviewed her, remember? Carrie is her friend from Iowa. She came to see her at the Bluebird. Lauren asked me if she could stay here. I said she could. I don't see why it's a problem."

"We've always been careful about who's in our home, and around the kids. How can you just let a stranger stay here, Deacon? What if she talks to a tabloid or …."

"…or WHAT? Jesus, Rayna…at this point I don't think there's a whole hell of a lot more the tabloids can say that's gonna be worse, do you? Who gives a fuck at this point?" Deacon was getting mad

"…and then I get home and you're sitting around the pool with 2 twenty something women DRINKING while the kids are in the pool! How can you be so irresponsible, Deacon?"

"I'm NOT drunk, Rayna! The margarita's were pretty mild and we had them with dinner. Besides, how the hell is this any different than you and your sister drinking wine around the pool with the kids right there, huh?"

"Yeah, Deacon with my SISTER! How would you feel if you found me with 2 young MEN around the pool?"

"For Christ Sake, Rayna! She's our damn nanny! Am I not allowed to be near the pool if she's out there with the kids?"

"This looks like a little more than dinner and swimming, Deacon! All the food, alcohol, dessert, decorations…. What exactly are you celebrating?"

"Perfect Storm is at number one. Maybe you'd have noticed if you weren't so busy with Luke! Would a phone call have been too much to ask? Ya know I've supported you and went to all the damn awards shows and number one parties for years. Now my career is finally taking off and you're off fuckin Luke and didn't even notice."

"..and what's going on here, Deacon? You took Lauren to the Bluebird. Now you're celebrating with her and her friend. What is this payback? Are you trying to level the field, get even with me?"

"You're jealous?"

*****silence******

"You're seriously jealous of Lauren?"

****more silence******

"I saw the way you looked at her the day we interviewed her, Deacon! You insisted we hire her. I noticed the way you gently had your hand on her back that day showing her around the house, and offering to take her to the Bluebird and help her with her music career."

"So the tables have turned? How does it feel, Rayna? Deacon couldn't help but smirk. Rayna was seething with jealousy for the first time ever in their relationship.

****more awkward silence*****

"Not a great feeling is it? Now, imagine if I had fucked Lauren, and you had to leave us alone here together for a month! How would that feel, Rayna? That's what I live through EVERYDAY you're gone with HIM?"

"Fine, you made your point! Happy now, Deacon?"

"No, Rayna. I'm not happy about any of this. I'll be happy the day you choose me and this marriage over Luke and the damn tour."

"Deacon, you know I can't do that. Edgehill has too much invested in this. I can't just walk away without major financial consequences to them and us. I can't believe you're forcing me to choose between my career and our marriage."

"Seems to me you've already made your choice, and as usual it's not me. Not sure why I keep expecting anything to change, or anything to be different." Deacon sadly said as he got up to leave the room.

"Hey…thanks for everything. The food was great and I really appreciate the little party. I'm not really much in the mood for anymore celebrating tonight. Why don't you take Carrie out and show her Nashville. There's a big party on the riverfront tomorrow all day before the fireworks. I'll be performing a few songs around 6pm if you wanna bring her down. I'll get you some VIP passes." Deacon said as he entered the kitchen. Lauren had started cleaning up the dinner mess.

"She'll love that. Thanks, Deacon. I'm sorry if all of this got you in trouble with Rayna."

"Don't worry about it. Enjoy your couple weeks off. I'll get the kid's outta the pool and finish cleaning up. You guys go ahead. There's gotta be something more exciting to do than this on a Friday night."

"Alright girls, outta the pool. It's gettin dark. Go upstairs for your bath." Deacon said after Carrie and Lauren left.

"…but DAD, I wanna swim more!" Maddie whined

"You can swim more tomorrow. Come on…OUT NOW!" Deacon said more forceful. Scarlett was already out and on her way into the house.

"FINE." Maddie got out and stomped into the house

Maddie continued to be whiney and difficult through bath time, testing Deacon's already dwindling patience.

"I wanna watch TV downstairs?" Maddie demanded after bath time

"NO, you're goin to bed. You can't seem to listen or stop whinin. I'm tired of it. I'm not gonna fight with you all summer. It's not even the first full day of summer break and you're already bein difficult. It stops tonight Maddie!" Deacon said

"…but it's mama's first night home. I wanna watch TV with her."

"She'll be home for 2 weeks. If you can behave yourself tomorrow, you can watch TV."

"I'M WATCHING TV TONIGHT!" Maddie yelled louder

"DAMMIT, MADDIE! I AM NOT IN THE MOOD FOR THIS CRAP TONIGHT. GO TO BED NOW!"

"NO, YOU CAN'T MAKE ME. I WANT MAMA, NOW!"

"SHE'S ASLEEP WITH MASON! …AND I CAN MAKE YOU!" Deacon carried a kicking screaming Maddie from the bathroom to her bed

"I HATE YOU! I'M GLAD MAMA'S HOME. SHE'S RIGHT, YOU'RE A JERK!" Maddie screamed obviously having heard Rayna call Deacon a jerk on more than one occasion.

"ALRIGHT, THAT'S 3 DAYS…NO TV! YOU WANNA KEEP IT UP? GO FOR A WEEK?" Deacon yelled

****silence*****

"That's better. Go to sleep. I love you." Deacon tucked Maddie's covers around her and kissed her forehead as she lay arms crossed and pouting.

Rayna had fallen asleep with Mason in their bed. Scarlett was watching TV on the couch as Deacon came down the stairs. Maddie had descended into a bawling mess over no TV for the next 3 days as he closed the bedroom door. He took a deep breath trying to control his anger as he went to the kitchen to finish cleaning up the party mess. He'd just come in from the pool area after cleaning up out there when Rayna came into the kitchen.

"I just fed Mason and put him upstairs in the nursery. Why is Maddie bawling in her bed?" Rayna asked

"She's been a damn brat since I made her get out of the pool." Deacon replied not bothering to look up from loading the dishwasher.

"Deacon, it's not even the first official day of summer vacation yet. I hardly think banishing her to her room for the night for not wanting to get out of the pool is fair."

"No TV for 3 days!" Deacon said coldly still not bothering to look up

"Great, Deacon! That'll be harder on us than her. She's gonna whine and be difficult the whole time."

"Well…ya know what, Rayna, if she's still bein a goddamn brat in the morning then it's gonna be a week! I already told her that!"

"GREAT START TO MY 2 WEEKS WITH THEM, DEACON! THANKS SOOOO MUCH!" Rayna yelled

"OH, YOU'RE BLAMIN ME? SHE WASN'T ACTIN LIKE THIS TILL YOU GOT HOME!" Deacon snapped

"WHATEVER, DEACON!" Rayna yelled as she turned to leave the kitchen

"ISN'T THIS THE PART WHERE YOU USUALLY CALL ME A FUCKIN JERK? HUH?" Deacon yelled

"Deacon, I wanna relax while I'm home. Do we really have to keep doing this?" Rayna asked as she turned back to look at him

"My 6 year old daughter just called me a jerk, Rayna. Are you happy now? You got the kids sayin it too!"

"I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN HERE FOR A MONTH, DEACON! I'VE BEEN HOME 3 HOURS, AND IT'S MY FAULT SHE'S BEIN A BRAT, MY FAULT SHE CALLED YOU A JERK? MY FAULT OUR MARRIAGE IS IN THE TOILET BECAUSE I'M STUCK IN A CONTRACT AND CAN'T CANCEL THE DAMN TOUR? ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANNA BLAME ME FOR TONIGHT?" Rayna asked getting really pissed

"NOPE, I'D SAY THAT JUST ABOUT FUCKIN COVERS IT, RAYNA!" Deacon yelled. He threw the margarita glasses he'd been holding for the dishwasher into the sink. The glass shattering against the porcelain was deafening.

Mason started screaming upstairs. Scarlett was softly crying on the couch, and Maddie was still bawling in her room. Rayna sighed exasperated after only a few hours home.

"I can't do this for 2 weeks, Deacon. I want you to leave tonight." Rayna said as she lost it and descended into a mess of tears and frustration.

"Rayna…I…..didn't mean…." Deacon tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He reached for Rayna as she collapsed on a kitchen chair crying.

"Don't touch me, Deacon! Just go, please!"

Deacon felt horrible as he left the kitchen to change his clothes and pack a bag. By the time he finished, Rayna had gone upstairs to comfort Mason. He lingered by the bottom step tempted to go up and try to make things right, but he knew she'd just push him away. Maddie was still bawling in her room at the top of the stairs. He glanced into the living room. Scarlett was sniffling on the couch with tears on her little cheeks.

"Hey, Scar. It's gonna be OK. I'm sorry for all the yellin and glass breakin." He slumped onto the couch with Scarlett in his arms

"When are you comin back, daddy?" she asked looking at the suitcase next to the couch

"I'm not sure, sweetie. Soon, I promise, OK? You be good for mama. I love you." He said getting up to leave

"Love you too, daddy." Scarlett sniffled as Deacon walked out the door with his guitar and suitcase.

Deacon checked into the Hilton downtown. It was close to his riverfront 4th of July gig for the next day. He was restless and decided to walk around on Broadway. With a ball cap on he blended with all the 4th of July tourists. He walked across the John Seigenthaler Pedestrian Bridge. He'd kissed Rayna on the bridge the first time 9 years ago. He paused at their spot wondering how they'd gone from so in love to whatever they were now.

He headed back towards the Hilton stopping at Robert's Western World for a few drinks. Even with the baseball cap pulled low he started to attract attention. After all, he did have the number one country song on the charts right now with Perfect Storm. After several requests to sing and a few drinks he finally gave in and took the stage. It wasn't Perfect Storm he decided to sing, and it wasn't a guitar he requested, but a keyboard.

He addressed the growing crowd…

"I hadn't planned on performing tonight. This is a new one I've been scribbling on a notepad lately. I haven't performed it anywhere, ever. Let me know what you think…" he softly said as he took a seat behind the keyboard and started the piano intro.

_Change My Mind – John Berry_

_I don't want to lose you, but even a fool can see__  
><em>_Everyday your love is slippin a little bit further away from me__  
><em>_So I'll be the one to say good-bye cause your hearts already gone__  
><em>_Pack my bags take the midnight train unless you say I'm wrong___

_Change my mind say you couldn't live without me__  
><em>_Say you're crazy about me with a look with a touch__  
><em>_Change my mind lookin in your eyes for the love we left behind__  
><em>_It's not too late to change my mind___

_Somethings come between us, it's not another lover__  
><em>_Seems one night we just stopped trying to please each other__  
><em>_If it's really over why can't I walk away__  
><em>_Tell me I'm making a big mistake beg me to stay___

_Change my mind say you couldn't live without me__  
><em>_Say you're crazy about me with a look with a touch__  
><em>_Change my mind lookin in your eyes for the love we left behind__  
><em>_It's not too late to change my mind___

_Give me half a reason to give it one more try__  
><em>_We could leave this leaving behind___

_Change my mind say you couldn't live without me__  
><em>_Say you're crazy about me with a look with a touch__  
><em>_Change my mind lookin in your eyes for the love we left behind__  
><em>_It's not too late to change my mind_

Deacon finished the emotional tune with tears in his eyes. The crowd was quiet at first. It wasn't the usual Robert's Western World type of tune, but slowly everyone was up clapping and giving him a standing ovation for the emotional song which clearly meant something to him.

"Thank you!" Glad you liked it. You had me worried there at first. How about one more, a little more upbeat this time." He laughed as he reached for a slide guitar from one of the band members and stood up.

_Playin Tricks – Charles Esten / Nashville Cast_

_Here I am feeling lonely  
>Here I am feeling blue<br>Think about picking up the phone  
>And<br>Think about calling you  
>Ought to be a little more careful<br>After what went down last time  
>Cause you got my heart playing tricks on my mind<em>

_Tear stains on my pillow  
>Bottles in the trash<br>I'm a little bit long on sorrow  
>and a little bit short on cash<br>It ought to be an indication, it ought to be a real bad sign  
>That you got my heart<br>Playing tricks on my mind_

_First I start looking at your picture  
>that's how it all began<br>Thinking things are going to be different  
>When I get you back again<br>I don't know how you do it  
>But you do it every time<br>Yeah, you've got my heart playing tricks on my mind  
>Yeah, you've got my heart playing tricks on my mind<em>

_I swore I wouldn't let this happen  
>I wouldn't come crawling back<br>You're trouble but I keep on asking  
>Like I'm looking for a heart attack<br>Baby I could see it coming  
>Honey, I ain't blind (I ain't blind)<br>But you got my heart playing tricks on my mind  
>Yeah, you've got my heart playing tricks on my mind<em>

_On my mind  
>On my mind<br>On my mind_

"Thanks so much. Have a great holiday weekend everyone. You can catch me again tomorrow night on the riverfront stage before the big fireworks show. Good night and god bless." He said as he tried to leave the stage and slip out the nearby front door, but quickly realized he had an entourage.

"Alright, alright…I have time for just a few autographs" he finally agreed a block from Robert's

"OK, sorry, but I really need to go." He said as the crowd finally dissipated a little.

He pulled his ball cap lower hoping to get back to the Hilton without being recognized again. He was clearly going to have to be more careful about wandering the streets of Nashville now that he was more in the spotlight with a number one song and quickly climbing album.

He thought he'd made it just as he hit the lobby doors, but a familiar voice yelled his name from across Broadway, and 2 familiar figures quickly crossed the street coming towards him.

"Hey…We took your advice and came downtown. What are you doing down here? Thought you'd be at home with Rayna and the kids tonight." A very drunk Lauren said as he reached out to steady her. She clearly wasn't used to drinking in high heels.

"uuuhhhh…Oh what the hell, it's not like you didn't see it comin before you left earlier. Rayna and I had a big fight. She kicked me out. Stayin here tonight, and probably for the next couple weeks." He sighed

"I can't believe she'd kick YOU out! You are soooooo HAWT!" an even drunker than Lauren and stumbling Carrie said as she fell against Deacon slurring her speech.

"…and you are REALLY drunk!" he laughed as he held her up.

"Oh shit!" Deacon cussed as he noticed a photographer snapping pictures from across the street.

"C'mon. We've been spotted, and I REALLY don't need this right now!" he said shuffling both women into the lobby away from the camera.


	32. Chapter 32

Deacon was pacing nervously by the window watching the street below. The photographer was still there. It had been 45 minutes since he'd brought Lauren and Carrie up to his suite at the Hilton.

"How is she?" He asked as Lauren came out of the bathroom

"Still puking!"

"How the hell much did she drink?" he snapped

"A lot. We finished the tequila off when we got back to my apartment. Well, she mostly finished it off. We called a cab and came downtown. She'd been trying to reach Dave, her boyfriend back in Iowa all day.

He finally answered, but he was with someone else. He dumped her over the phone. She got all bummed and really started drinking at Tootsies.

I finally dragged her outta there. That's when we saw all the people and camera flashes following you. I recognized you and we finally caught up with you downstairs.

I am soooo sorry, Deacon! If you wanna fire me, I understand. I'm sure Rayna's gonna want me gone as soon as she sees those pictures."

"It ain't gonna be pretty! I'll deal with Rayna. You're not fired." He said as he ran his fingers through is hair and linked them at the back of his head trying to figure out what the hell to do.

"Check on her! The last damn thing I need tonight is to have to drag a drunk young woman to the ER, or worse have an ambulance come to my suite. The tabloids would fuckin love that." He snapped grabbing the room service menu from the desk.

"Yeah, this is Deacon Claybourne, suite 804. I need a couple orders of dry toast and a carafe of coffee brought up here, please. 10 minutes…great, thanks!" he said hanging up the room phone

"She's still puking, but mostly dry heaves now." Lauren said coming from the bathroom again

"She's gonna feel like hell tomorrow. I ordered some toast and coffee. There's a bottle of Tylenol on the vanity outside the bathroom. When she quits pukin, we need to get her to eat some toast and take the Tylenol. If she can walk, I'm gonna take you home."

"You've done this before?" Lauren asked

"Yeah, you could say that. I put Rayna through hell our first couple years together. I had nights a lot worse than what Carrie's goin through now. Hell, I had weeks on end where I don't remember anything. I woke up in New Orleans with my best friend Vince one time. No memory of the previous 8 days."

"What did Rayna do about that?"

"We weren't married yet, but we lived together. I got back to Nashville a few days later. She had all my shit packed with a note on top sayin get out."

"So, how did you end up back together?"

"We had a tour together that started a few weeks after I got back. Kinda forced us to deal with each other. It was tense at first, but eventually we made up. I proposed the night we got back together. I didn't wanna risk losing her again." He teared up a little remembering their early days.

"…guess some things never change. 9 years later she's still kickin my ass out."

Carrie finally came out of the bathroom after puking for more than an hour. Room service showed up about the same time with the toast and coffee.

"Here, you need to eat somethin. You'll feel better if you can keep it down. Take a couple of these too." Deacon said putting the toast, coffee, and Tylenol in front of her.

"Feelin any better?" Deacon asked after she's finished the toast and a cup of coffee

"Yeah, a little, thanks. I can't believe I did this in front of you. I'm sorry, Deacon." Carrie said feeling really embarrassed as she sobered up

"Hey, no judgment here! I've been a lot worse. Can you walk down to the lobby? I'll take you home."

"Yeah, I think so."

Deacon dropped Lauren and Carrie off at Lauren's apartment and made it back to this room by 3:30am. The photographer was finally gone, but he'd still been there when valet brought Deacon's truck around and got more pictures of Deacon, Carrie and Lauren leaving 3 hours after going to Deacon's room together.

Deacon sighed as he climbed into the plush bed. He figured he'd just go ahead and tell Rayna the truth about what happened before she saw the pictures. After all, nothing had happened. There was nothing to tell, although he was sure the tabloid story would put one hell of a spin on it. Rayna would either believe him or she wouldn't. The damage was done either way he figured as he fell into a restless sleep.

"Have you talked to Rayna lately?" Bucky asked Tandy as he sat at his computer late Saturday afternoon

"I called her Thursday night. Maddie wanted to talk to her when the kids were here. You probably hear more from her than I do now that she's on tour." Tandy replied

"I do about business and the tour, but I was wondering about Deacon?"

"What about Deacon?"

"Are they working things out, or…." Bucky trailed off

"I don't think they're talking much. Maybe when she gets home tomorrow they'll work on things. Why?"

"Rayna's home. She got home last night. She's gonna surprise you with a visit today."

"OK, so why are you acting so weird and asking questions if you know she's home?" Tandy asked Bucky

"Look…" Bucky said spinning the monitor around for Tandy

"Oh…That's Deacon, their nanny, and the woman in Deacon's arms is Carrie! Ohhhhh…where was that taken?"

"In front of the Hilton downtown last night."

"What does is say?"

_**Rayna Jaymes on Tour with Luke Wheeler, but at Home Hubby and Upcoming Country Crooner Deacon Claybourne Appears to be Making Music with Someone New**_

_Husband of Rayna Jaymes, Deacon Claybourne was photographed holding an unknown woman in his arms outside the downtown Nashville Hilton late Friday night. _

_Claybourne had just given an impromptu performance at Robert's Western World. He performed 2 songs. One never heard before love song that seemed to choke him up a little as he finished with misty eyes. The second one Playin Tricks is more upbeat and featured on his new album released last month._

_Claybourne initially refused requests for pictures and autographs, leaving right after performing. Some persistent fans were able to get pictures and autographs as Claybourne made his way to his hotel._

_Once in front of the hotel, Claybourne was joined by two unknown women. One of which fell into his arms. The three made their way inside. They were photographed again 3 hours later, leaving the hotel in Claybourne's truck. _

_Speculations still swirls about a possible romance between Rayna Jaymes and Luke Wheeler. The two are currently on tour together, and have been photographed together in various cities as they tour._

_Wheeler's divorce from Stephanie Cannon was finalized last fall to the tune of 26 million. Last year Jaymes and Claybourne appeared to be headed for divorce, but a serious car accident for him seemed to halt proceedings. Neither have commented publicly. _

"Ohhhh…wow…that's not good!" Tandy responded after Bucky read the article under the pictures

"Well…we don't know for sure. These things get out of control and… Should we tell Rayna?" Bucky asked

"It's out there. She's gonna see it sooner or later. I think we should before she sees it or someone else tells her."

A few hours later Rayna arrived at Tandy's for her "surprise" visit. Tandy played along and acted like she didn't already know Rayna had been home since last night.

"Hey….you're back! Give me my nephew." Tandy said grabbing Mason after hugging Rayna at the front door

"Yeah, I'm back." Rayna said looking exhausted

"Girls, I think Bucky just made some cookies if you wanna go see him in the kitchen." Tandy said as Maddie and Scarlett ran to the kitchen

"So, you're home early? How's the tour going?" Tandy asked

"Like I said Thursday night, Luke's been great. He's keepin Jeff Fordham off my back, and keeping me laughing, but I'm just not feelin this tour. I mean, I'm faking it onstage"

"….and How are things since you got home?" Tandy pried a little to see what's going on with Deacon

"Worse than ever, Tandy! Deacon's so pissed that I'm even on this tour. It's just brought my whole affair with Luke back to the surface. We've done nothing but fight since I walked in the door. Which incidentally, I apparently walked in on some little party the nanny and her friend Carrie were having with Deacon for his first number one song."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Deacon and I had another big blow up last night. I asked him to leave. I haven't heard from him since last night."

"Rayna…I hate to do this when you're already so stressed, but Bucky found something on the internet a little bit ago that you need to see."

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised." Rayna said fighting back tears after Tandy pulled up the pictures

"You need to talk to Deacon. You know how these things get blown way out of proportion. Remember the Luke stories about you? It looked so much worse than it was. Maybe this does too? We just wanted to tell you before someone else did or you saw it somewhere."

"Right now I just want to relax and deal with nothing. I just wanna shut it all off and enjoy some time with the kids." Rayna said voice cracking thinking about the possibility that she was right about Deacon and Lauren, or maybe Carrie since that seems to be who Deacon was holding.

"OK, Sweetie. Take a couple days. Enjoy the holiday weekend with the kids, but you really need to talk to Deacon. I know the pictures look bad, but I honestly can't see Deacon doing anything." Tandy tried to reassure Rayna

"I dunno, Tandy. He's so angry. He's drinking. I thought maybe he'd calm down a little while I was gone. It's been a month, but he just seems more upset. He wants me to cancel the tour, and I'd love to, but I can't. Edgehill has millions invested in this. They'll sue me for everything I'm worth."

"There's no clause or some way out of it?" Tandy asked

"Edgehill already let me off the hook last year. There was Deacon's accident and then I got pregnant and had so many problems. The tour got pushed back more than a year as it was. If Marshall was still the label head I might be able to talk to him, but now it's this new Jeff Fordham guy. He's a total ass. All he sees is the bottom line and dollar signs."

"I'm sorry things are so tough. You're certainly between a rock and a hard place this time. Maybe after the tour's over Deacon will come around and lighten up."

"That's another 11 months away. I can't live another 11 months this way, Tandy."

"Happy 4th of July! Bye girls. Try to relax and enjoy your time with the kids, Rayna!" Tandy and Bucky both said as Rayna and the kids left

"Well, what should we do for the rest of the day, guys?" Rayna asked looking in the rearview mirror at the girls in the backseat

"Fireworks?" Scarlett asked

"We could have another mexican party like yesterday?" suggested Maddie

"I think we had enough mexican party!" Rayna sarcastically replied

"Daddy's singing at the fireworks tonight?" Scarlett reminded Rayna

"He is, but there are just too many people downtown. I don't have any security people today. I can't take you guys down there. It wouldn't be safe with all the people. I'm sorry."

"Daddy's a jerk anyway." Maddie crossed her arms and remembered she's not allowed TV for 3 days

"IS NOT!" Scarlett defended Deacon

"OK, alright, that's enough! Maddie, daddy is not a jerk! I never should have said that in front of you, and I don't ever wanna hear you say it again." Rayna scolded Maddie feeling guilty for ever saying it in front of the kids.

"So, what are we gonna do today? I miss Lauren. She's always got something fun for us to do!" Maddie exclaimed

"I bet she does!" Rayna irritatedly replied

Rayna's phone rang in the cup holder. She glanced down and pulled over to answer.

"Hey, Sugar! How's the time off goin?" Luke asked

"Not great. How about you? Did you get your kids?"

"Yeah, finally today. Steph wouldn't let me have 'em last night when we got home. She wasn't happy about today, but I threw a fit. She was gonna make me wait till tomorrow which was the agreed day. She has 'em months at a time. You'd think she could be a little more reasonable when I do get a break in my schedule, but she has to argue every damn time I ask for an extra day."

"Sounds fun." Rayan laughed

"Oh yeah…it's great tryin to coordinate schedules and get someone that hates me to cooperate. Good times! I hope for your sake Deacon's a little better if it comes to this for you guys."

"I don't even wanna think about it. He's not all that accommodating these days." Rayna sighed

"I'm sorry, Rayna. Hope he doesn't ruin your whole two weeks off."

"Well, we're off to one hell of a start!" she replied without saying too much. The kids were right behind her in the Escalade. She couldn't really say anything about the tabloid story and pictures of Deacon with Lauren and Carrie.

"Hey…I just thought I'd call and remind you, I'm havin a little get together at the ranch. Nothin too big. Maybe 20-30 people. Food, fireworks, the pool, horses.

"I dunno, Luke. I'll think about it. I'm not sure it's a good idea." She said worried about Deacon's reaction

"OK, well, the offers open. You can even bring Deacon if you want. It's a party! We were all friends at one time. Maybe it's time to bury the hatchet?"

"I'd like to do that, but I wouldn't hold your breath with Deacon. He's playing on the riverfront today anyway."

Rayna sat along the side of the road for a few minutes after hanging up. She thought about calling Bucky to see if he could get a security person to take her and the kids downtown for Deacon's show and fireworks, but then wondered if Deacon was alone.

"What if Lauren and Carrie are there?" she thought "Really don't need an awkward public encounter with the kids right there."

"WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO TODAY, MAMA?" Maddie yelled interrupting Rayna's darkening mood over the tabloid pictures.

"You know what. We're going to a party. Let's go home, get your swim suits, and some extra diapers and food for Mason." Rayna smiled having made up her mind to accept Luke's invite.

Deacon took the stage at the downtown Nashville 4th of July celebration. The crowds were crazy. There were people everywhere. He was happy his career was taking off again after a few years away, but all the attention was something Deacon Claybourne was going to have to adjust to. Everywhere he turned people were asking for pictures and autographs.

The song he'd written for Vince Drink A Beer, was climbing the country charts quickly behind Perfect Storm. He hadn't wanted to include Drink A Beer on the album, but Belcort heard it and insisted he put it in. He'd added it to today's line up at the last minute. He was trying to avoid his Rayna love songs as much as possible, but they were all about Rayna it seemed.

He was happy Lauren and Carrie had opted out of the 4th of July festivities, and were staying home to nurse hangovers. He'd promised Lauren VIP passes before last night, and would have kept his promise if she'd wanted them, but after last night he was relieved when she called to tell him "Thanks anyway." He'd had enough drama and knew more was coming when the pictures surfaced. Little did he know they already had, and Rayna had already seen them.

The party at Luke's was in full swing. There was lots of food and fun. The girls loved the huge swimming pool. The horses were Maddie's favorite. Luke and Rayna's kids were getting along well. Colt and Maddie seemed to have a little 1st grade romance going on.

"Where is Maddie?" Rayna asked Scarlett coming from the house after putting Mason down for a nap

"With Colt."

"With Colt where? I told you guys to stay right here with all the other kids while I put your brother down."

"I told her you'd be mad if she went back to see the horses again, mama!" Scarlett tattled

"What's the problem?" Luke asked noticing a commotion as people started looking around for Maddie and Colt

"Apparently Maddie and Colt went back to the stables."

"Relax, Rayna. Colt knows his way around the horses. I'll head down there and corral 'em." Luke said as his phone rang

"Yeah, Gage…what's up?" Luke asked his stable hand

"Luke, we have a problem. Colt brought a friend down here. She just fell off the gate trying to pet the horses. She's crying and saying her arm is hurt."

"On my way down, Gage." Luke said shuffling Rayna to his Lincoln Navigator

"What happened?" Rayna asked as Luke quickly sped towards the stables

"Maddie's hurt."

"Hurt….bad? What…." They were at the stables before she even had a chance to ask what was happening

Gage had Maddie and Colt in the stable office. Maddie was crying hysterically holding her left arm.

"It hurts really bad, mama!" Maddie sobbed as Rayna knelt by her chair to look at her arm

"What happened, Colt?" Luke asked harshly

"She wanted to pet Luther. She climbed on his gate. He nuzzled her and scared her, daddy. She fell. It was an accident." Colt's lip trembled as Luke questioned him

"How bad is it?" Luke knelt next to Rayna to check Maddie's arm

"Owe….it really hurts, mama!" Maddie cried and held her arm

"I think we should head to the ER, Rayna. It might be broken." Luke suggested

"Yeah, OK. Come on sweetie. Let's get you in Luke's truck."

"What about Scarlett and Mason?" Rayna asked as Luke pulled onto the road in front of the ranch

"On it. They'll be fine." Luke said as he called his nanny

"Greta, hey…I'm on my way to the ER with Rayna's little girl. Her other 2 Scarlett, little blonde, and Mason the baby is sleeping in the downstairs guest room. Watch them along with Sage and Colt please. I'll be back as soon as I can. Call if you need anything. Thanks Greta!"

"Greta is great. We've had her since Colt was a newborn. The kids will be fine. Don't worry!" Luke said squeezing Rayna's hand

"How you doin back there, Maddie?" Luke asked a softly crying Maddie, still holding her left arm

"It hurts!" she sniffled

"OK, about 20 more minutes to the hospital." Luke said as he pressed the accelerator a little harder speeding up the drive

"I've gotta call Deacon! This is not gonna go well." Rayna said close to tears as she reached for her phone

Deacon was still onstage at the 4th of July riverfront show. Rayna was relieved when her call went to voicemail.

"Deacon, Maddie had a little accident! We're on our way to the ER at Vanderbilt. It's not life threatening or anything. Possibly a broken arm. Could you please call me when you get this?"

Half an hour later Deacon stepped offstage. He pulled his phone from his pocket and noticed the missed call and message indicator. He didn't bother to call back as he ran for his truck. 15 minutes later he was at Vanderbilt hospital.

"My daughter Maddie Claybourne was just brought in to the ER, possibly a broken arm. Can you tell me where I can find my wife and daughter?" he asked at the information desk

"They just took her up to X – Ray. 4th floor room 412. Your wife's probably right outside the door."

"Thanks." Deacon said as he rushed toward the elevator

Rayna was alone in the hallway as Deacon approached. Luke had stepped away to get a cup of coffee and make some calls to the people still at the party he'd bailed on to come with Rayna.

"Ray…what happened?" Deacon asked as Rayna fell into his arms bawling

"Hey…hey…calm down sweetheart! Just tell me what happened?" Deacon asked again brushing tears from her cheeks as she sobbed and incoherently tried to explain

"Rayna, you need to calm down. I can't understand a word you're saying, baby. Please just tell me what's wrong? Is Maddie OK?" he asked again as Rayna clung to him burying her face in his chest

"She's getting X –Rays. They're pretty sure her left arm is broken." She finally managed to stammer

"OK, alright. A broken arm's not the worst thing that could happen. Why are you so hysterical? She's gonna be fine, right?" Deacon tried to calm Rayna as she clung to him still crying

"It's just everything, Deacon. The tour, Us, the kids, and now this…I'm just…..I'm sorry for asking you to leave last night. Please come home. We need to talk…really talk." She continued to sob as Deacon held her tighter

"OK, yeah…lets just get Maddie through this and we'll go home. Calm down, Ray. You're scaring me. I don't understand why you're so hysterical." He pulled back to look at Rayna and brush a few more tears away as she cried.


	33. Chapter 33

Deacon hadn't said much since leaving the hospital. Rayna glanced over at him in the driver's seat. He was intently watching the road, following Luke's Navigator taillights back to the Wheeler Ranch. Rayna needed to pick up her Escalade, Scarlett, and Mason.

Maddie was peacefully sleeping behind Deacon in the back seat. She was happy with her pink neon swimming cast. She'd freaked out when they told her she might not be able to swim all summer. Rayna and Deacon agreed to pay the extra cost for the waterproof cast. She'd been given a mild narcotic for pain, and was sound asleep in Deacon's arms before they ever left the hospital.

Deacon turned on the radio to end the intense silence in the truck cab. The Saturday night top 40 country count down was just ending.

"_Last but not least tonight we have Perfect Storm. It's a first number one for returning star Deacon Claybourne. Earlier at number 14 you heard Drink A Beer, also by Claybourne. That concludes tonight's countdown. Join us here on WSM same time next Saturday to see if Perfect Storm holds its ground for a 3__rd__ week." The WSM DJ said as he concluded the weekly top 40._

"Congratulations, Deacon. I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner, but I'm proud of you." Rayna softly said watching for a reaction.

She'd expected Deacon to blow up at the hospital when he learned the details behind Maddie's broken arm. He didn't. She'd again expected a blow up when they got in the truck, figuring Deacon was just waiting to get her alone. Again, he didn't. Instead he focused on driving. It was an hour back to Luke's ranch. Deacon's silence was almost worse than his usual temper explosion. Rayna had no idea what he was thinking or feeling.

"Thanks, Ray. It really hurt when you didn't even call last week." He calmly responded without taking his eyes from the road and Luke's taillights.

"I never wanted to hurt you, Deacon. Luke, the tour, the past couple years, all our fights…I never meant for things to spiral so far out of control." She said voice cracking

"I know. Me neither, Ray. I hate where we are right now. Feels like any second one of us is gonna get pissed enough to say fuck it, and walk out the door for the last time."

"Are we close to that, Deacon?" she asked afraid of the answer

"I'm not gonna lie, or sugar coat it, Rayna. I've kept so much inside for so long, and it's just ended up comin out in anger. I've said things I never meant for you to hear. I'm not OK with this tour, and yeah to answer your question…after tonight, I'd say I'm closer than ever to just bein the one to admit this isn't workin anymore." Deacon's voice cracked and his eyes filled with tears as he finally admitted to feeling like the marriage is over.

"Deacon….please…." Rayna lost it and started crying

"I'm sorry, Ray. I love you, and I probably always will, but …..I can't do this anymore." Deacon had to pull over as he started to shake and cry uncontrollably.

"I need a minute!" He said shifting the truck into park, as he got out and walked several yards away trying to stop crying.

It was killing Rayna to see Deacon hurting so much. All the anger from the past couple months had turned to pain and hurt. He wasn't yelling anymore. There didn't seem to be any fight left in him at all. She'd never seen him so broken. He was an emotional mess. She hated that she'd done this to him. He finally came back to the truck 20 minutes later.

"We'll finalize Scarlett's adoption while you're home this time if you still want to?" he asked

"Yeah, I want to." Rayna said voice cracking

"…..and next month when you're home, we'll go to a lawyer together and figure out custody, visitation, property division, whatever else we need to decide. I don't want this to be bitter, Rayna. I don't wanna put the kids through a big battle. I'll agree to whatever you want." His voice was flat, emotionally exhausted after his break down.

"I'll always love you too, Deacon! I'm soo sorry I hurt you like this." Rayna sobbed as Deacon pulled back onto the road. She was in shock. She knew Deacon was hurting, and unhappy about the tour, but hearing him say their marriage was over had been a devastating blow.

The work on the road leading to the cabin was complete a couple days later. Deacon moved back to the cabin, planning to live there anytime Rayna was home with the kids.

Deacon explained the tabloid pictures with Lauren and Carrie in front of the Hilton. Rayna seemed to believe that nothing had happened and agreed to keep Lauren on as the nanny, but made it clear there would be no further house guests.

Rayna's two weeks home passed quickly. She was set to fly to Las Vegas with Luke on a Sunday night in mid-July. Lauren was off till Tue, so Deacon returned to the house to care for the kids. Their goodbye was awkward, but they'd both accepted that this was how things would be as they lingered in the driveway waiting for Luke and the limo.

"Bye, Ray…" Deacon said as he hugged Rayna a little longer than he should have not really wanting to let go.

"Bye, see ya in a month." Rayna said as she pulled away lip trembling

Deacon watched as the limo disappeared out of sight, and Rayna was gone with Luke again.

"What's the matter, sugar?" Luke asked as Rayna stared blankly out the window

"We're getting a divorce." She answered without looking at Luke

"I'm sorry, Rayna. It sucks now, but it'll get easier. You tried to make it work for longer than you should have. This is the right thing to do." Luke tried to reassure her as the tears started to fall

"Then why does it feel so wrong?" She sobbed in Luke's arms

"I dunno, sugar. I hope he didn't make your two weeks off hell."

"He didn't. That's how I know it's really over this time. He quit fighting. He gave up." Rayna sobbed

"He's gotta be crazy to give up on you."

The Las Vegas show was pretty lackluster. Rayna was struggling with the end of her marriage and Luke was expecting a little more than friendship now that she was a free woman. He hadn't really tried anything, but continued to drop hints which was making things awkward between them onstage and off.

Next stop was Austin and the 4th of July show that had been cancelled a few weeks earlier. It was a smoldering Texas day and the show was outdoors. Jeff had shown up with a new woman, Sadie Stone. He wanted her to open the Texas show, and possibly continue on tour with Luke and Rayna if it went well.

The crowd loved Sadie instantly, which only made the crowds less than boisterous cheer for Rayna and Luke obvious. Rayna just wasn't into the show. Luke tried, but he couldn't bolster the fans alone. They wanted a steamy Rayna and Luke like the tour promised.

All Rayna could think about was Deacon and how she'd failed her marriage. The hurt on Deacon's face at the hospital the night Maddie broke her arm kept her awake at night. She'd been in Deacon's arms. He was holding her tight and ready to go home to talk. Ready to make up, make things right between them.

Luke had come back with coffee after making his phone calls. Deacon had instantly let her go when he saw Luke come down the hallway. He didn't say a word, but the pain in his eyes was heartbreaking. Of course Rayna and Luke both thought he'd blow up, and immediately started explaining what had happened and that it was an innocent 4th of July party.

Deacon never said a word as he listened to Rayna and Luke fumble to explain. He turned his attention to comforting Maddie as they wheeled her out of X-Ray and back to an exam room for her cast. Rayna knew now that it had been the moment Deacon gave up on their marriage. To him it was the final blow, and fighting was pointless. To him she'd chosen Luke again, and this time there was no tour to blame. She knew it hurt him deeply, but he gave up on her.

Rayna collapsed onto a couch in her dressing room after the worst show yet on the tour. She was laying on her back staring blankly at the ceiling.

"Well, THAT…was a new low!" Luke said as he walked in without knocking, clearly irritated

"Rayna…what the hell? You have got to get it together. Jeff is pissed!" Luke said as he sat next to her

"I'm just not feelin it, Luke." She softly said

"You know…maybe we need to light a spark between us." Luke forced himself on Rayna as she lay on the couch. He forced her into a deep kiss as she tried to fight him off.

"C'mon, baby…we were good together. Don't fight this." He said as his weight held her down and he continued to force kisses on her lips.

"LUKE, STOP! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" She demanded

"OH COME ON, RAYNA! YOU KNOW YOU WANT THIS! WE BOTH KNOW YOU FINALLY DUMPED DEACON'S ASS CAUSE YOU WANT ME!" He smirked thinking Rayna had left Deacon for him

"LUKE, I DIDN'T LEAVE DEACON! HE ASKED ME FOR A DIVORCE. I LOVE MY HUSBAND. I DON'T WANT A DIVORCE!" she yelled pushing Luke off of her

"FINE, RAYNA…YOU'RE NOTHIN BUT A DAMN TEASE!" Luke yelled and slammed the door on his way out

Rayna sat crying wondering how she could have been so wrong about Luke. Deacon had been right all along. Luke always had ulterior motives for being her friend. She felt so stupid, but he'd been there for her, been there for Maddie, picked up the shattered pieces after every horrible fight with Deacon.

Looking back now she realized every fight had been about Luke. Deacon wasn't fighting to be a jerk and make her life hell. He'd been fighting because he loved her and was so hurt and frustrated. She'd give anything if there was still a fight left in Deacon, but since the night at the hospital there hadn't been.

"We need to have a little chat, Rayna!" Jeff said as he barged into her dressing room

"Oh for Christ Sake! Doesn't ANYONE knock anymore?" Rayna fumed

"You're not into this tour. It's obvious, and the fans see it! Ticket sales are dropping as word gets out that this show sucks!"

"FINE, you know what Jeff. I don't give a damn anymore. I'm done! I'm leaving the tour."

"Glad to hear you say that, Rayna. Sign here… I'm terminating your contract for this tour. I'm putting Sadie Stone into the co-headlining spot with Luke. Go back to Nashville. Edgehill will be re-evaluating all your contracts. I'll be in touch." Jeff said as he left the room with Rayna's signature agreeing to terminate her contract holding neither party liable.

Back in Nashville Deacon was playing his usual Thursday night Bluebird gig. He missed Rayna, but was slowly forcing himself to accept a life without her. He had a lot of doubts, but ultimately believed he'd made the right choice for both of them. He knew he couldn't live with the fact that his wife was on tour with a man she'd cheated with, and still for whatever reason insisted on having a friendly relationship with. He also knew he couldn't expect Rayna to keep apologizing. She'd said she was sorry and made amends for the affair. It wasn't her fault Deacon couldn't get past it. He'd accepted that even if it hurt like hell.

"For my last song tonight, I'd like to try out a new one. Probably a little depressing. Ya know you get to the end of a relationship and realize how many stupid fights you had, all the things you blamed each other for and all the bullshit really doesn't amount to anything. You wonder if it was worth blowing everything to hell for, or if you shoulda just swallowed your pride and held her."

_I'm the only thing I'll hold against you – Joe Diffie_

_Yesterday you walked away and left me__  
><em>_Today you say your sorry that we're through__  
><em>_Our love will work we'll heal the hurt__  
><em>_so help me__  
><em>_laying blame is the last thing I would do___

_I'm the only thing I hold against you__  
><em>_let my loving arms show you the truth__  
><em>_there'll be no I told you so's__  
><em>_no matter how much heart ache we'll go through__  
><em>_I love you__  
><em>_(I'll always love you)__  
><em>_I'm the only thing I'll hold against you___

_I know it'll be just like the first time that I held you__  
><em>_when we swore that our love would always last__  
><em>_lets give it one more try don't be afraid to__  
><em>_One touch and we'll forget about the past___

_I'm the only thing I hold against you__  
><em>_Let my loving arms show you the truth__  
><em>_there will be no I told you so's__  
><em>_No matter how much heartache we'll go through__  
><em>_I love you__  
><em>_(I'll always love)__  
><em>_I'm the only thing I'll hold against you___

_Sometime things go wrong between a woman and a man__  
><em>_I know will make it work__  
><em>_All we need is a second chance___

_I'm the only thing I hold against you__  
><em>_let my loving arms show you the truth__  
><em>_there'll be no I told you so's__  
><em>_no matter heart ache we'll go through__  
><em>_I love you__  
><em>_(I love you I'll always love you)__  
><em>_I'm the only thing I'll hold agianst you___

_I'm the only hold against you_

"Thank you. It's been a great night. See ya next Thursday…same time, same place. Have a great night folks." Deacon said as the applause died down

He thought about hanging around for a few drinks, but decided he'd just be more depressed if he got drunk. He had 3 kids to think about with Rayna gone on tour. He wiped his guitar down and put it in the case. He slowly made his way to the truck in the back of the parking lot as people asked for pictures and autographs.

As he finally got to the front door he thought he saw the taillights of a red corvette leave the parking lot.

"Rose?" he wondered, but quickly pushed the thought aside. Rayna was in Texas.

He hit the garage door open button on the visor as he pulled into the driveway at home. Rose was parked in her spot. He pulled into the garage not giving it a second thought. There were other red corvettes in Nashville. The garage was dark except for the light on the overhead door motor above his truck. He didn't see Rayna sitting in Rose's driver's seat.

"Hey…" she softly said as he climbed out of his truck

"Ray?" he was surprised and turned

"What are you doin here? Aren't you supposed to be in Texas?" he asked as he knelt next to Rose's driver's side door

"Do you wanna go for a ride and talk, Deacon?" Rayna asked swallowing the growing lump in her throat

"uuuhhh…yeah, sure." He agreed going to the passenger side

"Why don't we take the truck?" Rayna suggested before he got in

"OK." He smiled wondering if that meant what he thought it meant, more front seat room

"So where do you want me to drive to?" he asked as he pulled out of the driveway

"How about a country drive?" Rayna suggested as Deacon turned away from town leaving their neighborhood

Neither spoke for about 10 minutes as Deacon drove further down the wooded country road.

"I quit the tour. If it's not too late, I'm choosing you, Deacon." She whispered with tears in her eyes

"Ray…I….are you…." He wasn't sure what to say as he fumbled for words

"I'm sooo sorry, Deacon. You were right about everything. I'm sorry it almost cost us this marriage for me to see it, but if you'll give me another chance I swear you'll always come first." She started crying in the passenger seat as Deacon pulled over on a secluded road.

"So, no more tour…no more Luke?" he asked hopeful as he put the truck in park and shut the engine off.

"No more tour, no more Luke. I don't want anything to do with Luke Wheeler ever again, Deacon. I'm sooo sorry I ever let him come between us."

"I'm sorry too, Ray. Sorry for everything I said that night on the back porch, and every fight since. I was angry and hurt. I didn't mean it, Rayna. I love you sooo damn much. I never wanted a divorce, but you didn't leave me much choice." He said choking back tears

"I know, Deacon. I'm sorry I pushed you to that point, but please tell me it's not too late. Tell me we can try to work things out?" she pleaded

"You were at the Bluebird, weren't you?" he asked

"Yeah, I heard your last song. Did you mean it?"

"Every line. Didn't know you'd hear it tonight, but it is for you."

"Sorry, I rushed outta there. I was a little surprised to hear that and wanted to talk alone."

"C'mere…I'm the only thing I'll hold against you. I think we have some serious makin up and makin out to do." He pulled Rayna onto his lap and into a passionate kiss

"I love you sooo much, Deacon. That's never not been true."

THE END


End file.
